Author's Note: Yeah, so, from here on out... I basically just ditched the old Paradox and wrote something completely different. I got kind of annoyed at the end of the original Paradox and decided that I just didn't want to write that again. So I changed it.
If you compare the two versions, one to another (I've done this using a computer & iPhone), this is right around the point at which you throw the iPhone out the window.
"Buffy blinked, and looked around herself, trying to make sense of the Doctor's words — but… it all seemed real. Well, course it did! I'm brilliant," the Doctor announced, beaming at his audience of Concurrence demons. He was standing in the open-mic area of their Hell-basement, a microphone in his hand, his back to a red brick wall. "But, 'course, it wasn't real. Nope! Not since she walked into the Concurrence. Because, see, I'd worked out — every time I try to get anywhere, in this trap, the narrative just changes things 'round so I wind up beaten down and unable to fight back." His eyes twinkled. "So! If that's where the narrative wants to go, how 'bout I just start my own narrative where I'm already beaten down?"
Buffy blinked, then suddenly took in where she was. She was kneeling on the ground, supporting thin air as if it were a body. The Doctor, standing beside her, looked perfectly fine. Well, aside from all the things that'd been done to him during his first Concurrence incarceration. But not remotely like he'd looked a few seconds ago.
He offered her a hand up, giving her a wink. "Words have power."
"I… was in a story?" Buffy repeated, accepting his hand up. "But it just…! I mean, it felt so… real!" She looked into his eyes. "How…?"
"How?" The Doctor gestured around himself and her. "The cage! The trap! Don't you see? Faith showed me, when she gave me that snog!" He beamed, adjusting his tie and looking quite proud of himself. "She was tired of having you be the protagonist — and desperately wanted to take over the narrative, herself. So she, subconsciously, fooled the trap. Kissing, instead of killing."
Buffy stared at him. "Wait, Faith… kissed you?! After what she did to Angel?!" She clenched her fists. "I'm so going to kill her!"
"Naw — I saw you on the Valiant," the Doctor dismissed. "I know you. You won't kill Faith, if you think there's a chance you can save her. That's why you understood why I couldn't…"
They were cut off by a rotten tomato smacking into the side of Buffy's head.
"Boo!" shouted one of the demons. "You're not funny!"
The Doctor spun around, in time to be hit right in the face by another rotten tomato.
"Get off the stage!" shouted another demon, as the booing began to fill the cavern.
Buffy and the Doctor tried to dodge rotten fruit, as best they could, as the entire Concurrence turned on them.
"You've stalled us long enough, Time Lord," said Karky, with a sneer. "You said you'd stand up here and tell us the story of you and the Ascension. So — either tell us how you stopped it, or the Slayer dies."
The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at them.
Then he sighed, adjusted his tie, and tapped the mic, to make sure it was on. "Ascension! Yes! Right, then." He planted a great big grin, on his face. "Ever hear of a bloke called Irving Braxiatel? Naw, course you haven't. Time Lord. Dead, now — along with everyone else." The Doctor's smile wavered, for a second. Then he plastered it back on, and leapt to the other side of the stage. "He had this plan, see — to end the Time War and stop Rassilon's Ultimate Sanction. No, not just that. Make Gallifrey what it once was, before the war ever started. Undo it all!"
The other demons grumbled. They definitely didn't care about the Doctor's Time War stories.
"Is this going anywhere?" asked a demon who was readying up another rotten tomato.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! I'm getting there!" the Doctor said. "Good ol' Brax, he'd flouted all the laws of time and space and the whole universe, and built an impossible machine. One that needed a colossal amount of energy to operate."
"We don't care!" shouted a demon.
Another one threw his beer at the Doctor. "Get to the pickle part, already!"
Buffy thought she remembered the Doctor mentioning something about this. A power that was bigger than any other — big enough to rewrite the universe.
"The Key," Buffy whispered.
"Doesn't exist!" The Doctor winked at her. "Told you. Still, when Brax and I powered up the machine, we were a bit short. Almost as if a couple magic monks had taken a pinch of energy out of our power source…" The Doctor's eyes rested on Buffy, and he pulled the mic away. "…and made it flesh."
"Why are you looking at me?" Buffy asked, seriously disconcerted.
The Doctor advanced towards her, dropping the mic on the stage. "The Ascension was coming, see. Billions of Time Lords, ready to Ascend and become gods — taking the universe with them. We didn't have a choice. We were frantic. Desperate. Scrambling to find a way to stop it. Brax located the energy that was missing — on the other side of a portal. He linked the machine to that portal."
The demons all perked their ears up, at the word 'Ascension'. They tried to get in, closer, to hear what happened.
"Why are you telling me this?" Buffy asked.
"Because I only just worked it out," the Doctor replied. A deep sorrow sprang up, inside his eyes. "I've spent a whole year telling you I knew what was going on. But I was wrong — I can see that, now. I've worked out what you did, to save your sister. I know why you had to do it. In a way… you could say I was there, the moment it happened."
He placed his hands on Buffy's shoulders, his voice dropping, even further.
"Braxiatel's machine used the technology of an ancient race, calling itself the Epoch," the Doctor told her. "The Epoch created technology that could rewrite and remap everything, in reality. Time! Space! Whole universe! They could demolish a history, and rewrite it — just based on a stray word or thought or wish, said at the wrong time."
"Words have power," Buffy repeated, remembering the last time he said it. She looked around herself. "So you're saying the last two weeks are all because of…?"
There was a sudden, violent jolt that shook the entire basement dimension.
Everyone looked around themselves. But then, it came again — it was a larger shake, and this time, it didn't stop. Instead, it got stronger, as every wall began flashing with alerts and warnings and blaring sirens. Karky sprang at one of the walls, tearing it open to reveal buttons and machinery, below, and began poking and prodding and trying to get the dimension under control.
"Aha! Knew it was only a matter of time!" said the Doctor, with a grin. "Looks like Faith's gone off and told the Mayor all about the Concurrence — so now, Wilkins knows that this lot's a threat to his Ascension. All of which means that, right now, he's sealing off this basement-dimension and flinging it out into space."
Karky, realizing the controls wouldn't respond to him, began pounding them with his fist. He turned, and then spotted Buffy and the Doctor.
"Well, on the plus side," said Karky, "at least we get a free meal out of it." He pointed at her, and commanded the other demons, "Eat the Slayer and the Time Lord."
The Doctor grabbed Buffy by the hand.
"Run!" he shouted.
"But, of course, they weren't fast enough," said the Time Demon. She shook her head. "No one could ever be fast enough to escape the trap. The worst thing was, Buffy and the Doctor found both the Maer'Isa and the TARDIS, right before the end. Buffy was so close to the TARDIS that she could almost touch it. But… too late."
The audience stared at the Time Demon, immersed in the story.
"The Doctor screamed, as a demon tore off one arm, and another demon tore off another arm," the Time Demon explained. "Then, a third demon, with two long, silver claws — stabbed them through his chest, impaling both hearts." The Time Demon almost shed a tear for the loss of her protagonist — truly an adversary worthy of her. But, ultimately, his death was her banquet. "And Buffy, poor young Buffy, only a week away from graduating from high school — her head was ripped from her body, and thrown into…"
A throat cleared, behind the demon.
The Time Demon froze. Then spun around, and stared.
There, directly behind her, was a blue police box — which she hadn't noticed materializing. And, standing beside it, their arms crossed and their faces extremely angry, stood her two protagonists.
"So," said Buffy, "you were saying, about our deaths…?"