Tessa's POV

When Will walked away, I glared at him. How dare he let his sister feel like that? He doesn't deserve her as a sister, he doesn't deserve to be able to break her as he just did. I take her back to our dorm, with her looking rather pale. She collapsed on her bed, looking awfully tired.

"Tessa?" she asks, voice breaking. I whip around to see her with tears streaming down her face, ruining her mascara.

"Cecily, I'm so sorry about your brother. I-" I started, but she cut me off.

"We are still going, I can't ruin our plans just because I hoped for something that wasn't ever going to happen," she informs me.

"What do you want to do?"

"We are going to get ready," she says, pulling herself off the bed. Grabbing my hand, she dragged me to the bathroom where she did my make-up and I cleaned her face and polished it.

She grabbed my dress from the box, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It's good to see Magnus didn't go too crazy with the glitter, just enough. Which also happened to be a lot. We picked out a dress for her and we were ready.

We looked spectacular, her in her emerald green dress, me in my sparkly sunset dress. I texted the group chat between my friends from my other school and I a picture of me in my dress and then one of Cecily in her deep green dress. I didn't get to see their replies, for we left immediately to the party.

As we were walking down, I grabbed her hand, trying to calm my nerves. It was my first day here and my first Nightly Party here, though I am hoping it will be my last.

We open the doors, arriving a little late, but to no matter. The room seems to be pulsing and everyone on the dance floor, even some of them who were on the sidelines, were pulsing as well. They swayed, they drank, they moved their feet to the same rhythm that the music was spitting out to them. The lights were pulsing with the music, enhancing the effect.

In the corner, Will is dancing with Jessamine, while some girls and boys are staring at them both jealously.

I search the crowd for Gabriel, finding him and I poke Cecily in the arm.

"He's right there!" I whisper-shout to her. She whips to where I was pointing and her face turns a deeper color of velvet.

"But he's wearing a tux! I could never...he would never...I-" she starts, but I wouldn't let her give this opportunity up.

"Just go! Have fun! Live a little!" I command in a teasing tone. She glances over me, to see if I was joking, then she starts to walk toward him. I watch from a distance.

I watch him do a double take when he sees her. He must've asked her to dance, as he holds his hand out she takes it, and he pulls her to the dance floor.

I am happy for her, she finally gets some happiness. But I have no idea what to do. In social situations, like the one I am in now, I have never been very good. Sometimes Clary and Isabelle would go to parties and drag me with them. It was fun, mostly because they were there and we made fun of all the people at the party. Then we would dance on our own, sometimes Jace and Simon would be there, laughing hysterically at the sight we created.

I wince at the memory. It is only a reminder of what I've lost.

I want to go back to them. Watching Gabriel and Cecily dance, Gabriel twirling Cecily as Magnus would do to Alec, reminds me I don't belong here.

I never have.

I never will.

I want to run back into our dorm and curl up on the bed. Have it turn into a portal would be my own personal recommendation.

Cecily holds up something metal, abruptly ending my fantasizing, and the realization dawns on me that those were Will's dorm keys, our dorm key, and his dorm key. She began laughing and tossed them lightly to where I happened to be standing. Catching them effortlessly, I immediately began to walk out of the party.

Unfortunately, I forgot about looking up at the door as I walked out…

And I ran into Jem. Why couldn't it have been Will? I think, startling myself more than anything. Why should I want it to be Will? I should be happy it's Jem. Then why, just why did I feel overly disappointed.

My cheeks flamed as I look at the silver haired boy that was a Shadowhunter, one I couldn't wrap my mind around.

"Where are you going, the party hasn't even really started yet," Jem informs me before grabbing my hand and pulling me back through the door.

"I can't...I shouldn't...Jem! Stop!" I try to protest, but he just laughs and continues to pull me towards the dance floor.

He twirls me and then lets go of my hand to start moving like a chicken on the dance floor. I cover my mouth so I don't laugh, but I couldn't lie, it was quite amusing.