I know I've been MIA for a while, there has been alot of personal things I've had to deal with. Things at home haven't been good but enough of the pity party, let's get down to whats going on. It's time for Peter to have his chapter, i'll be working on the next chapeter as you read this one, hopefull will have it out later tonight or tomorrow. Just keep with me, thanks to everyone still with me, leave me a review letting me know what you think, it's un'beta's so may be some mistakes.

Also if any of you are a fan of the Vampire Academy books like I am, have you seen the trailer for the film? Was anybody else really dissapointed? It's all wrong but I recomend the books if you haven't read them.

Thanks again, love you all!

All sm, I just play, sue me.

Peter P.O.V

It had been three months, five days, three minutes and nine seconds.

Three months of pain, darkness and the unknown. Bella's body hadn't been found in the woods when Alice had said it would because it was slowly rotting in my brother's arms.

The house had started to stink, all three floors of it. Everyone apart from me and Char had evacuated because of the smell and yet Jasper still hadn't let her go. He clung to her like a child would a rag doll, his eyes forever dark pits of where his soul now lay.

We had all begged him to let her go, to let us help him. I would spend hours trying to get him to loosen his grip; it was a lot harder since I had to stay a distance away from him, since he was in the most volatile state I had ever seen him in.

Bella's body did not only smell bad but her decaying flesh had started to patch and tear where Jaspers fingers had dug in a little too hard, holes were forming and one of her eyes had already fallen out of the sunken in loose eye socket. Her flesh had discoloured to an almost black, some patches were still yellow and her bowls had released themselves of the toxins...all over Jasper.

Yet in that corner he stayed, rocking her back and forth as if it would nurture her back. He would make pained purring sounds and sobs before the growling would start. His anger and pain radiated threw the house like a bomb had gone off, it was making my heart hurt.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't have the answers and the old feeling shit hadn't kicked in. I had to admit I was losing hope; If Jasper didn't come out of this then would he ever get his happily ever after?

Jasper hadn't hunted or drank anything since I don't know when, we'd tried bringing him blood but nothing was working.

"Peter?" Charlottes hand on my face brought me out of my troubled thoughts and sucked me into the depths of another thought.

What would I do if I lost her?

I don't think I could live...could be sane.

The ache in my chest started to swell at just the thought, made venom pool in my eyes and the breath wash out of me. I couldn't lose her, ever.

I needed her to live, to breath, to be. I needed her to keep me safe, keep me sane and to keep me being me.

I wouldn't be me without her. I'd be ash in the wind. I'd be a lost spirit in a body; I'd die so I could find her soul on the other side and reunite it with mine. I couldn't imagine my world without her in it; it would be dark and empty.

A lifetime without her smile, even a day without her smile seemed dull and pointless. I couldn't and wouldn't live.

"Baby?" Char's voice brought me back again and without realising what I had been doing, I had crushed her body to mine holding her to me. I stuck my head in her hair and took a deep breath, her scent instantly calming me.

We were in the forest, I had come out here to clear my head and get away from the smell. It was tormenting me having to watch my brother in that state and I needed a time out. The forest was quiet and damp from its latest rainfall, the trees swaying quietly with the wind as if a storm was coming.

"What's wrong sugar?" Her hand encircled me and started rubbing soothing circles on my back, that's the thing about mates; you just knew when you needed each other.

Without a word her lips found mine and the passion exploded through my body, this wasn't about fucking, this was about treasuring each other. Needing to know the other was there and wouldn't be going anywhere. This was about security, love and fear.

Her hands travelled down my back in a slow sensuous scratch, my teeth tugged on her bottom lip pulling it into my mouth before I gently sucked on it. Her moan went straight to my crotch and before I knew it I had her pinned to the nearest tree.

Her hand started to unbutton my shirt and I did the same to her, our eyes connecting and holding each other's while our fingers worked. Venom welled in her eyes before she slammed her mouth back onto mine. Our shirts now off we had the freedom to let our hand wander freely, my fingers unhooked the bra Char was wearing and slipped it off her shoulders.

Her lips were moving down my jaw, nibbling and sucking, she knew all the right spots to make me moan and growl. Her soft pink lips soon found my bare chest and licked her way down to my belt buckle; before she could move to undo it I had her on the floor.

Her back pressed into the wet soft mud, her hair fanned out around her gathering twigs and dirt in it, she never looked so beautiful. I kissed down her throat, taking my time to get to her chest. Her moans became impatient groans and I took that as my sign to move to her nipple...

"Something's coming..." I said sitting up, my head was buzzing with the knowledge that something was coming. Something big...something that would change everything.

"We need to get back to the house, now." I said pulling her up and passing her, her shirt. We stole one last kiss before taking each others hand and running back towards the house. Lightening flashing behind us, hitting the same spot over and over again, thunder echoing over our heads and shaking the ground.

The Major/Jasper P.O.V

Darkness...

Pain...

Hate...

Anger...

Gone...

She'll come back.

She's never coming back.

Trust.

There is no trust when the only thing worth living for is gone.

Trust.

Leave me alone.

Alone...

The pains crippling, the anguish, the sorrow, the guilt It all fell on my like a heavy waterfall, never ending and always flowing. I couldn't take it anymore but I couldn't move, I wanted it all too just go away and leave me alone. I wanted it all to fade away into nothingness.

It didn't and it never would. I needed her.

Don't think about her, she's gone...she's not gone as long as I hold her here with me though. Her torn flesh would heal soon, it would go pink again. It would always be pink or white once I change her, she will be changed once she wakes up.

She'll wake up.

Jasper it's time to let go.

Never.

The roar echoed around the silent and empty house.

Yes Jasper, she can't come back to us unless you let her go. You need to let go. You're driving yourself mad.

Leave, you don't belong in my head anymore!

We are one Jasper, you're not you without me and I'm not me without you, we're a balance. Now please, just let go of her body...

No, I need her.

I know but once you let her go, I can take care of you. I'll make it go away. I promise...

But what happens to her?

She just goes away.

But I don't want her to go away.

Neither do I but she has to. She's not there anymore Jasper; the thing you have in your hand is like a sweet rapper. You wish and hope that when you look at the rapper it will be filled with the sweetie goodness but it won't be, the sweets gone and now it's just a rapper left behind.

No. She's going to wake up soon.

No, she won't. She's dead Jasper and you're just holding a rotting corpse.

Don't you talk about her like that! She not an empty rapper or a rotting corpse she's Bella! Beautiful, sweet and kind Bella! I know she'll wake up!

She won't wake up but she will come back to us, please Jasper, I'm begging you and I don't beg, let her go.

Was he right? Would she come back? I didn't know if I was ready to let go...but if I did he promised me darkness, numbness. He promised to make it all go away.

What if she woke up just as I let go...no.

I needed to let go but could I?

I wanted the waterfall of despair to stop its torment. I wanted to lie in a dark pit in the recess of my mind, I wanted to not think, not want and not know anything anymore.

I didn't want to feel.

You don't have to.

Unsure of what I was doing was right; I hugged her close one last time and let the darkness consume my mind fully. I let him take over and I slowly curled in on myself and let Jasper shut off.