(absolutely useless) A/N: SORRY BOYS! I'm soo changeable!
One chapter they could just marry and in the next one I can just kill the main character. That's me. Inscrutable Nakashima. I have my plans yes, but I like to play with the plot, that is. And I have soo many plans with it, I wish it could be infinite but I don't want to bore you guys either. I'm also sometimes like this is the best shit ever, and sometimes I think I should trash it. But nevertheless, your reviews and responds always cheer up and make me write more. So thank you! I think this story has future. I am taking it seriously, this story. Is gonna be book. One day…one day…(kidding, it's not good enough..it doesn't have enough shades of grey. It's more like..no shade at all for Ciel. Blind jokes. Ftw.) And what's with that chapter title anyways…
Enjoy!
14: My brave broken blind boy
-Sebastian's POV-
Harming a person who is weaker than you is something I can't stand. Knowing the man is defenseless and yet trying to hurt him, with no real reason, that's, excuse me, an absolute cowardice. I kinda know what it feels like, I've been a victim couple of times.
Humanity is rotten all through nowadays, it's making me sick. When I saw that vandal punch my lover in such an animalistic way, I clenched my teeth and fists. I walked there and transformed the air into a blizzard. My eyes were pinned to one target, which will regret it was ever born. I grab that sorry excuse for a man by collar and throw his useless body on the filthy ground, harsh and fast. I straddle him and without thinking I punch him right in his pretty little blue eye which will probably be ripped out of his eye socket any minute. How would you like to be blind, hm? How nice does it sound? I will punch the shit out of you when I fucking blind you, so you will lie on the ground beaten and lonely, and no rich businessman will take care of you because guess what! Nobody loves you.
"Sebastian! Sebastian, stop it, god you will kill him!"
I suddenly heard Ciel's voice over the screams of the teenager I was beating. Then I also felt tug of my shirt from behind, someone trying to pull me away from my prey. I turned around and elbowed the second one in stomach so he backed off. I glanced down to look the fucker in his eyes and tell him all my thoughts out loud but I noticed yet now that his nose was bleeding and he was done, so I stopped. Well, maybe I've overdone it but did he have right? No right. I mean how dare he.
When I got up and turned around, as if it wasn't enough, I also got a solid punch by the other one as a payback. I could return the punch again, but I think he would just end up as the first one, and as I said, I won't pick on weaker. Though I just beat one. I'm such a hypocrite, Ciel was right. But I thought he's stronger than that, moreover who would protect Ciel if not me?
"If you don't want me to rip your non-existent balls off, you better get out of my sight." I said with high despise in my voice. He would maybe try to fight, but the other one dragged him away from me and in the end they backed off because they didn't think it was worth it. I looked back then, seeing Ciel standing by railing, holding a palm on his bruised eye and his broken sunglasses in second hand.
"Does it hurt?" I asked quietly right when I jogged to him, taking his hand away to have a look.
"Yeah, it does," he said in weak voice and pushed my hand away. I noticed he had tears pouring from his eyes and there was some blood trickling from one too. "The eye was already harmed so it kinda restored the old injures." He said.
"Oh god you poor thing, you really aren't lucky, are you?" I said with empathy and glanced around to see if they're already gone, fortunately for them, they were.
"I don't get it. Why me.." He fell apart and dropped down on the ground. "I can't take it anymore, just kill me. If you won't, a truck will drive around and hit me anyways. Or I just fall through this railing and off this bloody bridge or whatever it is."
I was truly, absolutely affected right now. I felt so sorry for him, I've never heard him talking like this. In this while, I felt useless. I always try so hard but end up exposing him to danger. I'm quite a lucky bastard and Ciel keeps tripping and appearing a step before death. I had no clue how to save him.
"Ciel..I am just so sorry." I replied slowly, wrapping my arms around his vulnerable body and pulled him gently to myself.
"It's not really your fault, Sebs." He said and leaned his head on my shoulder. "It's just my bad luck. Are you alright?"
"Yeah, don't worry. Just don't say such things about killing anymore, I know you're not like that." I removed the hair falling into his face and stroked his head "I will call the ambulance again now."
"No way, they will recognize me and think I'm kidding them. It's not that bad, it's going to pass."
I know he probably said that because he doesn't want to spend last night we have alone in the hospital. But I didn't want to risk his health, really, it was time to be a bit responsible.
"Ok listen, you have to go to the hospital, there were too many accidents to let it go. I'm going with you." I decided and pulled my phone out.
"No, no, please, not today!" He reached somewhere for my hand but I put the phone high in the air.
"No. I won't discuss that with you." I said with strictly determined tone.
"I don't want to, I want to stay with you."
"I will be there with you until you fall asleep." I assured him.
"No, but they won't let you."
"Okay, then, you will fly with me."
"What? No."
"Why not? You can stay with me for few more days then." I suggested, even though I know I have a lot of work and I honestly don't know how to take care of him during the days.
"I don't want to cause trouble, you're real busy and I just don't want to hold you back, seriously."
"You won't, ok? Gosh, look, you're bleeding, I'm calling the ambulance now."
Later
"This is so depressive." I said, staring at Ciel who was sitting on the hospital bed.
"What. You mean this." Ciel replied sarcastically and pointed at the bandage wrapped around his head and eyes.
"Is it rude to say you look like from a horror game?" I joked as I couldn't help myself.
"Yes, it is."
"Sorry. But take it from the bright side, you are going to be alright. And you look still fantastic, don't worry." I smiled and stroked his cheek.
"Fantastic in a bad way. The creepy monster from a fantasy movie." He pouted.
"That's not true, I was joking. And even if it was, I don't care."
"You do and you know it."
"What the hell, why do you think that? Come on. You're always beautiful to me."
"Gay." He said with straight face but when he heard my offended puff, he grinned a bit.
"Okay. Whatever. So, look, it's almost 11 PM." I said when I looked at my watches. "Doctors don't allow any visitors to stay at night, neither Alois can come to see you now. You should probably just give him a call. I'll spend night somewhere and in the morning I pick you up, what do you think?" I asked as I already got up.
"Yeah, fine." He muttered while tilting his head, "though it totally sucks that we can't spend this night together."
I smiled and leaned down to him again, close to his ear to nearly brush lips over his ear and then I whisper "Gay."
I laugh and Ciel gets all angry and pouty again, that's cute.
"No seriously," I quit laughing, "not this night, but when we get back home, you will sleep in my bed and I never let you go, okay? And don't say gay, you fag." I laughed shortly only, and he too.
"Okay." When I made sure he smiled, I stood up "Don't kill yourself in the car." He added.
"No worries, there are no such smooth thighs to touch anymore." I replied with a smirk.
"You can touch yours, though."
"You would be sad if I touched myself without you, wouldn't you?" I was already in the door but we kept teasing each other with shitty comments.
"Send me a record of you moaning. That's what we blind call sexting." He said sarcastically and I have to admit, he was a king of making sarcastic notes with straight face.
"Isn't that called phone sex?"
"Get the hell out of here already." He laughed in the end.
I returned to his bed once again to lean down and kiss his lips goodbye.
"I love you."
"Me too, Sebastian." He told me before I left.
The next morning
"Cieeel What the fuck! Are you really going to leave with this freak? What happened again?" I followed the mad blond in the hospital room, seeing him practically jump into Ciel's bed and shoot questions on my poor boy.
"Calm your tits, Alois. It's nothing serious, really." He answered while his brother was hugging the soul out of him.
"What's going on here again?" Angela Blanc went through the door right behind me, we all arrived together. They needed at least one of the legal representatives to pick Ciel up, as always after all.
Ciel told them something of a truth, that they wanted to attack him but I protected him. He hoped to present me in the best light. I let him talk to Angela and Alois while I went to find the doctor who wanted to talk to me about his state, for some reason.
…
When I came back, Ciel was already dressed, with his old glasses on, which entirely covered the bandage over his eyes.
"So can we be sure you take care of him? When is he going to be back?" Alois' aunt came to me then, so I assumed Ciel had asked her.
"Yes, you can count on me, I'll take care of him in every way." It somehow… slipped. I saw the synchronized facepalm of Ciel and Alois in the background and I had to suppress the smirk the best I could. "And I think Ciel hasn't decided yet, but I think, maybe two weeks?"
"Didn't we meet already?" She asked all of sudden.
"Uh, yes. Mrs. Blanc, we met on the funeral." I said uncomfortably, while furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
"No, no. Before." She looked me over in such a strange way.
"I believe not." I shrugged.
"Good, well, I'd give him some money for few days but that's all we can offer actually." She replied at the topic we talked about before. Gosh, she was confused.
"No problem, madam, you don't have to bother with money."
"Hm. You're a good boy. You must be very good friends." My polite smile froze and I could see Alois chuckle. But that's better like this, she could also sneak and wonder what's between us and I don't think that would be safe."
"Yes, very. I've known Alois' mother for ages, so I also knew Ciel, and he's a good friend with my nephew who lives nearby." I lied more than I should, because I realized I should make it look less, well you know, illegal."
"That's very nice. I think the meat is ready. I got to return home. Have a good time, children." And then she like..left. I went to Alois and Ciel, who was sitting on the bed now and I raised an eyebrow, pointing my thumb backwards.
"What's wrong with that woman?" I asked. Alois looked down and sighed.
"Actually, don't even ask. She's always been kinda weird, it's in our family. But she's..you know, nevermind." The blond waved hand.
"Is there anything you're not telling me?" Ciel asked.
"I said never mind. I want to talk to Sebastian." He pointed at me.
"Yeah?"
"IF I FIND HIM IN HOSPITAL ONCE AGAIN, I'LL KICK YOUR RICH ASS! I said you will protect him, are we clear?!"
"Uh, yeah-"
"ARE WE CLEAR"
"YES SIR" I saluted because the blond started to be scary and when I did, he put his sweet smile back on and nodded.
"Then he's in your handsome care." Ciel got up after finally hearing that. I guess he must have everything approved by Alois. Not that he couldn't take care of himself, but it was truth that the blond knows everything about him and things and people around him. He knows exactly what's best for him. "Here's backpack with all Ciel's stuff he will need." He added.
"You took my stuff?" Ciel asked but nobody answered.
"Thanks, Trancy." I said when I took the backpack.
"Let's hug it out. Come on." He said nicely, so I hugged that little fag and then they said their goodbye and Ciel and I left the room.
"And be safe!" Alois shouted yet.
"Don't worry, we will be." I smirked.
"I meant in car and airplane you perverted pedophile!" He shouted back but as quietly so nobody else would hear it.
"He's mean, isn't he?" I said on the way out of the building.
In about two hours we were already above L.A. It has been like two days, but I quite missed it. Good, old Los Angeles. I'm happy I'm sitting here with Ciel, it was nothing I expected.
Ciel's head was leaned on my shoulder, he has been sleeping nearly the whole flight. I don't know why, poor boy must have been really tired.
"We're here, Ciel. Just about to land." I shook him slightly so he'd wake up.
"Yeah, already?" He straightened up to stretch himself and then he wanted to rub his eyes but found out he's still wearing the bandage over his head and eyes. "Ugh, did anyone see this?"
"No, don't worry you had your hair all over your eyes and I covered you anyways." I assured him and stroked his hair, before I gave him the glasses I took him before.
"Ok, thanks."
We landed on the LAX, spontaneously taking no suitcase whatsoever, and we walked out of the hall. I stopped the first taxi I spotted and with Ciel holding my arm we got in. I was lucky I still haven't lost my wallet in such disorganized travelling and that I still had some currency. I told the taxi my address and sighed. I wish I had some rest after this, the idea of going to work tomorrow haunts me.
"Are you hungry? What do you want for lunch?" I asked meanwhile.
"Your favorite this time. Alois said we're always having mine." He said with humor but he was still so sleepy that he laid his head on my shoulder again.
"Well, I can't grill any meat, nor can I cook chili without going to the shop."
"Chili, like chili con carne? You like spicy stuff?" He asked, just randomly, because he can. Because we have time, endless time. I missed such times.
"Yeah actually, I do. However, what if we just had pizza today?" I suggested as I didn't feel like doing anything today.
"I'm all okay with that." He agreed. Soon we were at my place, I paid the taxi and led Ciel into the building and then my apartment.
"Oh God."
"What's wrong?" I asked just when I was closing the door and noticed Ciel standing in the center of the ante room.
"The fragrance, that smell of this flat, it's so familiar." I've actually never heard him happier. He said it with all the feelings, he was so astounded, moved.
"Welcome home." I walked to his side, gave him a peck on his head before I took his hand and led him forward.
"I'm going to spend several days only with you." He stopped the way forcibly, looking down, his voice shaky.
"Well. Yes. Is there a problem?" I walked closer to him again.
"No, no." He shook head. "I can't believe that." He sobbed and reached his hands out carefully to find my waist so he could hug me tightly. I was surprised at first but then I smiled.
I believed he was tired of travelling all the time, not having a proper family or permanent safe home. I just wished his life became more stable. He was still so not ready to live on his own, no matter how able he is. And will he ever be? I'll do my best to provide that.
The evening
I was sitting on my bed, just in an undershirt and sleeping pants. Ciel just finished a call to Alois, so he put his phone slowly down on the side table and joined my company.
"I think you can already take it off." I said as the first thing when I looked him over. His adorable face reddened and his mouth moved to the side as he retorted with a "Tsch".
"Yeah, and what are you wearing?" He asked as he reached his hand for me but I grasped it gently, entwining my fingers with his.
"I meant the bandage." I corrected him and kissed him shortly when he was so nicely leaned over to me.
"Oh, okay." Ciel struggled with the binding on the back of his head until I took it in my hands and helped to untie it. With a few turns with the bandage around his head, the last layer at his eyes fell down, and his eyelids with long dark lashes were uncovered once again.
"Does it still hurt?" I asked, watching him move his lids to ease them but never lifts them.
"Um, I can't almost feel it anymore." He replied. I stared into those closed eyes for a while. It was a long look and it was one-sided. Still, I felt like he's looking back at me, somehow. He just can't really see me.
"Can I have a look?" I asked in absolutely serious tone.
"No, please-"
"Ciel. What are afraid of?"
Ciel tilted his head while biting on his lower lip. "I don't want you to see."
"Why? Do you think I'd be disgusted or freaked out? What would it change between us? Nothing." I tried to assure him. I reached out to stroke his cheek and then he raised head again.
"I myself don't exactly know what you would see."
"Love, stop being afraid. Open your eyes, come on."
He sighed and didn't reply anymore. We stayed quiet as Ciel very slowly lifted his eyelids. It was so…indescribable. I felt like seeing him whole for the first time. Seeing his entire face. I can't describe how beautiful he was even over his fatal flaw.
I thought all the blinds have just…white eyes. All white, a bit scary. Ciel, though, still had blue eyes, even the pupils were visible. But it was damaged, somehow foggy, the color was drab. However, I can honestly say it wasn't anyhow outrageous as he might think.
It was like I saw him looking exactly into my eyes but it had nothing to do with his expression. He didn't react anyhow. He was still frozen. I couldn't see any movement of the eye except few blinks, there was no spark, no life in the sight. It was dead. His look was entirely dead.
But I smiled. I got closer to him and then I kissed him on lips. He didn't see that coming, obviously, but he kissed me back right then.
"Thank you. You're still beautiful, you know."
"You don't have to lie to me." He said with a mild blush, closing his eyes again.
"I'm serious. Don't you dare denying this fact again, you don't see yourself. If I didn't like what I see, I would have never noticed you, okay?"
"Yeah. Thank you, Sebs."
"So, Ciel, come here" I lied down on my back and pulled the teen to myself, "what do you see?"
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. Do you see darkness? Black?" I wondered.
"Yeah. I mean, I can see light and darkness, I know that the light is switched on right now. So it's somehow lighter darkness but still black, you know? Similar to light trying to get through a black cloth. Actually, if I was already born blind, I couldn't tell you I see black because I wouldn't be able to recognize black. It would be just nothing. But I already know black."
"I see. So you remember colors?"
"What's with this interview?" He laughed slightly.
"I'm really interested. I want to understand you better."
"Well I saw colors for 12 years and can still remember them 5 years later. But I'm not sure if I can imagine all the possible shades still. I don't know, but I can tell you like a banana is yellow, grass is green and your eyes are brown with hue of red, which I still don't really buy, sorry." He laughed once again.
"Okay, just live with that they're brown. You probably couldn't imagine the shade." I laughed too.
"Right, yeah." He muttered and that would apparently be end of the topic. Ciel then rose on his elbow and turned to me, putting his hand onto my chest. He slid it further up to pass my collarbone and find the way to my neck and in the end to my jaw. Frankly, when he uses his touches to get oriented on my body, when he does everything so slowly and sensually, when the touch is his one and only lead; he gets me trembling. I swallowed imperceptibly, watching him leaning down, closer to me. And I held my breath when he kissed me.
"I've got an idea." I said when we separated and I shifted on the edge of bed to reach in a drawer nearby. I kept majority of my ties there, so I randomly reached in the row of ties and pulled out a black one, though I couldn't care less about the color. Ciel was sitting on his knees in the bed when I got back, demanding: "Hold out your hands."
The boy didn't understand for a while so I took his hands carefully and turned them with palms up. "Let's play." I said and placed the rolled out tie onto it and then directed his hands up towards me.
"Let's be fair, make me the same," I directed and closed my eyes before placing the cloth over them. "Tie it up. I'll also be sightless for a while."
Ciel already understood and tied the fabric on the back of my head thoroughly. And right now, I believed we were perfectly even. I couldn't see Ciel's expression, but judging by the tone, it was a smirk.
"Kinky." He replied. I didn't even know what I was doing but I felt like our first night alone here will be a long one..
A/N: We all know what that means when Sebastian Michaelis uses term 'play' right? Let's see some Ciel's POV in the next one! Oh god I wanted to write this scene since like FIFTH chapter (shh I already have like half written since then, lol). Thanks for your interest and support, I'm looking forward to you looking forward, let me know and I'll bother updating :33