*sniff* *sniff*

Is that a plot line I smell?

Le gasp.

But no, really. It begins.

Enjoy lovelies. I do not own Naruto.

They say that when a married couple gets out of the "honeymoon phase" their relationship isn't as touchy-feely and basically the newness of the whole thing wears off and that's when the claws come out.

I disagree.

You see, even after having a kid with Itachi, I still think he's the sexiest thing in the world and I have to fight with myself not to completely rape him in the middle of a crowded hallway.

Also, my claws have been out since day one of our relationship and even before it began. Itachi was declawed because he's a lot more docile than I am. Which, if you think it about it, is a good thing. If he was as temperamental and as stubborn as I am, we would be at each other's throats all the time.

However, as it is, we fight about once every year and most of the time it's about our stubbornness and my excessive temper.

But, back to the issue at hand:

Itachi's sexiness.

He sat on the couch across the room from me, reading some scroll Pein gave him with a look of concentration on his breathtakingly handsome face. Kakuzu sat at the other end of the couch Itachi was on, a number of different scrolls on the cushion between them. Kisame lounged on the other couch beside them, taking up all the cushions, and I was sitting on a different couch with Hidan's feet in my lap. Sable was sleeping beside Kisame on the floor.

"Tachi, what are you doing?" I wondered.

He looked away from his scroll to raise his eyebrow at me. "Reading."

"What are you reading?" I asked, rolling my eyes at his answer.

"Scrolls on a particular jutsu Pein wanted me to dissect for him." Itachi shrugged. "Why?"

I shrugged as well. "No reason."

"Other than the fact she's been fucking staring at you for the past fifteen minutes like some creepy fucking bitch." Hidan grunted, shifting in his spot to get more comfortable.

"I'm allowed to stare at my husband if I want, Hidan." I said indifferently. "Besides, he's exceedingly sexy."

Itachi rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the scroll in his hands, amusement playing on his face.

"Where's Tibby?" Kisame wondered.

"With Sasori and Deidara. He and Sanaa are training." Kakuzu grunted.

Kisame lifted his head off the couch slightly. "So where's Kathryn?"

"Shower." I yawned. I adjusted my position on the couch so I was lying on it; my feet aimed towards Hidan's head while his were near mine. He glanced at me for moving around but shrugged and returned to dozing off, unbothered by my change of position. "I'm bored."

"So take a nap." Kakuzu suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "I can barely sleep at a proper time, Kakuzu. Let alone randomly in the middle of the day."

"Then quit your bitching." Hidan snapped. "I'm trying to fucking sleep, shut the hell up."

I kicked him. "I'll shove you off the couch."

Hidan wrapped his arms around my legs. "If I go, you're fucking coming with me."

"If you piss me off, I'll sick Kisame on you." I threatened.

"He's trying to fucking sleep too!" Hidan pointed out.

I shrugged. "He'd get up to kill you if I asked him to. Why? Because he loves me."

Kisame snickered.

"And if, because I'm a nice person, I didn't want to make him get up, I'd just tell Itachi to beat you." I shrugged. "And you know he would."

Hidan glanced over his shoulder at Itachi who was rolling up his scroll, staring at Hidan all the while with the hint of a smirk on his face. "Fucking Uchiha bastard."

"Don't hate him because he's beautiful." I smiled. Itachi sighed and Kisame's snickers renewed themselves.

"You're such a fucking weirdo." Hidan deadpanned.

I smirked. "You're jealous."

"Of what?" He demanded.

I patted his leg. "Jashin loves me more."

"Bullshit!" He protested.

"Awe, you poor baby." I pouted. "Not loved by your god. The only one who loves you is Kakuzu."

"Fuck that." Kakuzu snapped.

"By all means Kakuzu." I smirked, gesturing at Hidan. "What you two do in your spare time is none of my business."

His eyes narrowed at me while Hidan swore under his breath. "I will kill you."

I smiled at him. "Shutting up."

"Wise move." He growled. "Uchiha, take your woman elsewhere if she's going to be picking fights."

Itachi glanced at me as he grabbed a new scroll from the pile and replaced the one he finished reading. "Alice, behave please."

"If the options are behaving and staying here or misbehaving and getting you to myself, I think I choose option number two." I stated tickling Hidan's feet.

"Don't fucking touch my feet!" Hidan barked, jerking his feet away from me.

I stared at him. "I forgot you were ticklish."

He glared. "I'm not fucking ticklish."

I poked the bottom of his feet and he twitched violently. Slowly, a grin spread across my face at the same time a challenging, daring expression broke out on Hidan's.

"Awe, Hidan's feet are ticklish!" I cooed, grabbing his legs and pulling them closer. "It's so cute. Look at him and his foul mouth being all ticklish!"

Hidan started kicking his feet. "Don't you fucking dare, Ice Bitch!"

I rolled on top of his legs and tickled his feet, smiling when he started laughing and swearing at me at the same time. "Look at how cute he is."

"Knock it off!" He laughed, pushing me. "Bitch!"

I twisted slightly so I continue tickling his feet and I began prodding his stomach, my smile widening when I found the ticklish spots on his sides. "Awe, Hidan you look so cute right now."

He really did. He was grinning hugely and was laughing because of my assault. He looked so happy and carefree.

"I'm not fucking cute!" He snapped between laughs, shaking beneath me. "Get the hell off of me!"

I shook my head. "Nope. I want to cherish this moment." I whipped out my phone and took a picture, smiling when I got an excellent picture of Hidan grinning his head off while glaring at me at the same time.

Satisfied, I pocketed my phone and rolled off Hidan and the couch. I got to my feet and looked down at Hidan sprawled out on the couch. "That was fun."

"Delete that fucking picture." He growled.

I shook my head. "No. I don't think I will."

He sat up. "Get rid of it, Ice Bitch or I'll fucking do it."

I put my phone in my bra after pulling it out of my pocket. "I dare you to try it." I challenged, narrowing my eyes at him.

Hidan shot up from the couch and I yelped. Running away from the enraged Jashinist, I forgot that my protectors were in the same room as I was and I ran out. Hidan chased after me, swearing when I threw in turns that he didn't expect.

However, because he is a ninja, and I'm a woman who lacks chakra, he caught me fairly quickly.

Hidan tackled me just as I reached the indoor training grounds and he pinned me beneath his person. He then started trying to find my phone while also trying to prevent me from fighting him off.

"Hidan!" I yelped. "Let me go!"

"Fuck no." He growled. "You're going to delete that fucking picture. This is karma for your shitty tickling."

I laughed and punched his chest, only to have him pin my arm to the floor above my head in the next instant. "You loved it."

He poked my stomach. "No I did not. If you weren't such a strange fucking bitch, I'd get you back by tickling you."

"Well, I'm not ticklish so you can't." I smirked, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I'll just delete all the shit on your fucking phone then." He shrugged, situating himself on my legs so he could try and reach down/up my shirt without me kneeing him in the balls.

"No!" I whined, kicking my feet and making him shake and wobble. I ripped my hands from his grasp and started smacking him to distract him.

Distracted by my smacking, he brought his hands up to smack my hands away when I would almost hit him. Eventually, we just had a hand smacking war when he abandoned his perverse quest for my phone.

"What the hell are you two doing, un?"

Hidan and I paused in our battle to look towards the familiar voice of our favorite explosive, blond terrorist. "Nothing." We said in unison.

"That doesn't look like nothing." Sasori stated, standing beside Deidara.

Hidan and I looked at each other before looking back at the artists. "She/He started it."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Well knock it off."

"Get him off me then." I pouted.

Deidara chuckled and shoved Hidan off me before pulling me to my feet. "There, un."

I hugged him. "Thanks Dei."

He patted my head. "No problem, yeah."

Hidan dusted himself off as he got to his feet and glared at Deidara. "You fucking girly piece of shit."

Sasori grabbed the back of Deidara's shirt when said bomber tried to lunge at Hidan. "Easy Brat." The puppet master turned his gaze to me, still restraining an infuriated Deidara, and raised his eyebrow. "So why did you and Hidan come charging in here randomly?"

"I was tickling him and he wanted revenge." I shrugged. "Where are Tibby and Sanaa?"

Sasori gestured with the thumb of his free hand over his shoulder. "Over there."

I looked around him to see Tiburon and Sanaa fighting each other. "Why aren't you watching them?"

"They're doing it for fun." Sasori explained. "Their training ended ten minutes ago. Besides, I was watching them but when you and Hidan came running in and started smacking each other, I was curious of what the reason behind it was."

"She's a fucking bitch, that's why." Hidan snapped. He yelped as a blue hand walloped the back of his head. "OUCH!"

"Don't be mean to Alice." Kisame scolded.

I smiled at my shark. "You're so sweet." He grinned at me and rumpled my hair, allowing me to latch onto him.

"Am I the only who is extremely amused by watching two brats fight each other? I think it's cute. I think it's hilarious." Zetsu said as he began entering the room through the floor.

I smiled at him when just his head was out of the ground. "Hey Zetsu. What's up?"

He looked at me. "Hello Alice. Sup kid? Pein's holding a meeting. So get the brats, Deidara go get Kathryn. We're assembling in the meeting hall as usual. We already told Kakuzu and Itachi. They're already there."

"Alright Zetsu." Sasori nodded. "Thank you. We'll head there now."

"Make it quick." The plant man of my heart growled as he disappeared back into the ground.

"Tibby, Sanaa." I called. "Come here you two. We have a meeting."

Tiburon and Sanaa paused in their little battle to look around at me. They said something to each other before they raced towards me, their chakra propelling them. I saw a glint in Tiburon's eyes. "Tibby, if you run into me while running that fast I'm going to be pissed!"

The glint didn't leave.

So, being the wonderful person I am, I quickly hid behind Hidan's person until I was out of Tiburon's line of fire just in case he decided not to listen to me. He didn't, because he ran straight into Hidan. Luckily, I foresaw this and I ran out of the way to avoid being crushed.

"You little shit!" Hidan grunted from the floor. Tiburon was on top of him, giggling his head off.

"Shut up Hidan, you love it." I smirked. "Come on Tibby."

Tiburon made to get up but yelped in shock when Kisame scooped him off of Hidan and tossed him into the air. Tiburon giggled madly when Kisame caught him skillfully and placed him on his shoulders.

"Let's go kiddo." Kisame stated.

Sanaa, who had run to her father, was likewise sitting on his shoulders, playing with his hair.

I smiled at the kids and my idiots before turning around and heading for the meeting room, knowing everyone else would follow.

When I made it, Kathryn was, surprisingly, already sitting in her usual chair using her wet hair to hit Itachi and Kakuzu with water. Both of them were blatantly ignoring her while she grinned her head off. Pein and Konan sat at the head of the table, talking to Zetsu.

"Kathryn, leave them alone." I scolded.

She beamed at me. "It's so funny to watch Itachi's eyebrow twitch though." She shut her mouth and looked away pointedly when I gave her a threatening look.

I rolled my eyes at her nonsense and walked over to my chair to Itachi's right and I sat beside him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder instantly and kissed my cheek. A moment later, Kisame joined us and dropped Tiburon in my lap as he took a seat to my right. Hidan took his seat beside Kakuzu who was on Itachi's left and Deidara sat on Hidan's other side and next to Kathryn.

Sanaa was placed in Kathryn's lap just as Sasori took a spot to Kathryn's left and Zetsu's right. The last seat, which was on my side of the table and to Kisame's right, was occupied by Sable.

"Alrighty Pein, what's up?" I asked.

Pein looked away from Zetsu to address me. "We have things to do, Alice."

"Us? Work?" I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes and entwined his fingers. "Sasori, Hidan, you two have a mission together."

Both of them raised their eyebrows, confused by their partner swap. "What?"

"Your mission takes you to Suna." Pein continued, holding up a scroll. "You were both requested and the details of your mission are in this scroll."

"Wait a fucking minute." Hidan barked, holding up a hand. He threw his thumb in Kakuzu's direction. "I don't go on missions without this fucktard."

Pein gave him a look since Hidan was directly across the table from him. "You do now."

Kakuzu glanced at Hidan. "It's fine, Hidan. Orders are orders."

Hidan shrugged. "What the fuck ever. You alright with this, puppet bitch?"

Sasori glanced at Hidan as he took the scroll from Pein. "As long as you don't make me wait, I have no problems."

Kakuzu scoffed.

"Kakuzu, you and Kisame have a mission together. Your destination is Kiri." Pein continued, satisfied that Sasori and Hidan weren't going to bitch anymore.

Kisame raised his eyebrow in confusion but accepted the new scroll Pein offered him without question. "What about Itachi?"

"Itachi and Deidara will be accompanying Alice and Kathryn on their mission." Pein explained. "The children will be going with them as well. That is the main focus of this meeting."

I leaned back in my seat, running my fingers over the gills on Kisame's arms because they were awesome. And it gave me an excuse to touch his muscles.

Not that I needed one.

I'm Alice. I don't need excuses.

"Shoot." I stated, looking at Pein.

"You will be accompanying two Shinobi from Konoha to Kumo to commune with the Raikage and be taking some information about Ame forces for me. Alice, I need you to keep a hold on your temper for this as it is very important." Pein explained.

I waved him off. "I have no problems with the Raikage. You don't need to worry about that. So, I'm taking ninja things to the Raikage for you and I'm going to be attending meetings for you along with two ambassador type Shinobi from Konoha. Is that the gist?"

Pein nodded. "Itachi is your escort and your adviser in this, since you are my ambassador. Deidara is also going for your protection and because Akatsuki work in pairs. Because Deidara is going, Kathryn and the kids are going with you." He glanced to his left. "And Sable."

Sable's tail wagged at the sound of her name.

"Alright." I nodded. "When do we leave?"

Pein sighed and leaned back in his chair. "All of you should be gone within two days at the latest."

"How long do I stay?" I asked.

"About three days at most." Konan told me with a shrug. "It shouldn't take too long and one day will be essentially for you to rest after traveling. However, I'm sure the Raikage will forgo the day of rest if you want to get things over with."

I stroked Tiburon's hair absently. "Who are the Shinobi from Konoha?"

"I am not sure." Pein shrugged. "They will be meeting you at the Valley of the End."

I smirked. "Nice choice."

Pein dipped his head. "You have time to prepare for your departure. All of you will be gone within two days. This meeting is dismissed."

And the plot thickens...

Fun Fact: One of my best friends is rooming with me up at Ohio State:)

Answer: I've actually been thinking about this answer for more than a minute or two. I have a lot of stories (around 40 different stories all in different stages on my laptop). A few of them are completed. And if there's a story, there has to be some characters. And I have a lot of characters. I have an extensive list of them, and it fills about half of a 150 page notebook. And that's just a list of names. It doesn't include details about them and all of their back-stories (because every character I have has a background and a story behind them, even if it's not all that exciting. No one is just a name). I have four separate documents on my laptop of that. So, picking my favorite has always been rather difficult. However, I narrowed it down to three. Two are from the same story while one is from a different one and all three of them are male and none of them are main characters. Atreyu, Kamisori, and Skyler. Atreyu and Kamisori come from my first and longest original story that actually has more than one part. It's a story in a different world of my creation that is centered around a military organization and the soldiers, or agents as they are called, in it. Skyler comes from another story and is the older brother of the main character. I've actually used them in Snatched. Skyler and Kahira. Atreyu is an emotionless (and I mean no emotion), cursed human who has lived over a thousand years and he's a smartass. Kamisori is an assassin with an utterly cheerful attitude and optimistic mindset though he can be murderous when angered. Skyler is just batshit insane which is why I love him. Btw, Kamisori means razor in Japanese. And don't take my names. I'll kill you. I put a lot of time into finding the right names for my characters.

QotC: Favorite genre of literature?

WotC: libro(s) - book(s) en Español. Me encantan los libros

But yeah... I'm rather passionate about my characters. My ideas might not be the most fantastic, but I take pride in my characters. I love them and I will end someone if they take them. Unless, it's like Alice because other than her personality and appearance, she's completely different in her original story which, by the way, is the same story as Skyler. I love him and his craziness.

Getting off that topic because I'd rather the story have more content than my author's notes. If you wanna talk more/listen (read...?) to me rant, feel free to message me on here, dA, or my email. I'd love to chat with you all further about this stuff since it's a major interest of mine.

For now though, I must go.

See ya:)