Chapter 14
It was a cold Saturday night and Jane and Maura were sitting in their usual booth in their favorite Italian restaurant, Jane's hand softly caressing Maura's while the doctor leaned in to her wife's side, slowly sipping from a good glass of red wine.
Riley got over the flu a few weeks ago. The fever lasted a few days, but after a long week, she started getting better. Physically at least. Maura had noticed a change in Riley's behavior. She wasn't the bright and cheerful teenager Maura knew she truly was. She was smiling happily when Jane and Maura were around, but Maura saw her smile fading every time. As soon as Jane or Maura looked away, a kind of sadness came over the girl. Riley was searching more and more for physical contact with the two of them. Maura felt the desperation, the angst, and the pain in their goodnight hugs and snuggly evenings on the couch. Maura tried to give Riley time, afraid to smother her. She hoped Riley would talk to them on her own when she was ready.
"You're worrying about Riley, aren't you?" Jane asked softly.
Maura was still surprised by the way Jane could read her without needing any words. She slowly nodded. "Yeah." She whispered. "I know she hasn't been herself lately."
"I know. I noticed it too."
"At first I thought she was changing her mind about letting us adopt her, but I don't think that's it." Maura sighed and leaned closer into Jane's side, sipping from her wine. "She's craving our love more than ever."
"But she's not happy. I feel like the real Riley is kind of gone lately." Jane said in a soft, husky voice as she rubbed Maura's hand. She sighed deeply and Maura saw Jane furrowing her brow.
"We need to get her back." Maura said, lost in thought.
"Maybe we should force her to talk to us. Maybe we're being too soft on her."
"I'm not sure, Jane. She's so vulnerable. I'm afraid we'll push her away." Maura was hesitant about having Riley opening up. She knew Riley was getting there and she was endlessly thankful to see Riley confiding in them, but she knew there was more. She knew there were still pieces of Riley's pain they hadn't discovered yet. On the one hand, Maura knew they had to discover those pieces sooner or later. But on the other hand, she was afraid to do so.
Jane kissed Maura's temple and pulled her close. "It'll be okay."
"I know it will." Maura smiled and placed a sweet kiss on Jane's lips.
Jane smiled and turned to place open-mouthed kisses on Maura's neck and Maura felt Jane's hand creeping up her thigh.
"Jane," she whispered softly, closing her eyes at the touch, "I know we're in the back of the restaurant but we're still in a restaurant."
Jane smirked and pulled away. "I know. But you're wearing a gorgeous dress and showing quite some cleavage and there's a man over there being way too curious about you."
Maura looked over her shoulder and saw a young, blonde guy looking at the two of them. As soon as she met his gaze, he winked and smirked. Maura rolled her eyes, put down her glass and turned to press her lips against Jane's, tangling her hands in messy dark curls while she deepened their kiss. After a long, heated kiss, she let go and panted into Jane's mouth, smiling seductively and biting her lip.
Jane laughed and leaned back in the booth. "Yeah, that's right." She said softly, referring to the man whose cheeks were turning dark red while he played with his food.
Maura smiled contently and leaned into Jane's side. "I missed this." She said softly.
Jane hummed. "Me too. Although I am a little bit worried about Riley right now."
"Tommy's with her. She's fine." Maura answered as she kissed the bottom of Jane's jaw. Riley and Tommy had developed a great connection. They had the same sense of humor and just clicked from the beginning. "She probably played with TJ all evening and they're probably both exhausted by now." Maura said. She smiled at the thought. She loved seeing Riley interact with the small boy.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you!" Jane shot up and looked at her wife with a bright smile. "I have an idea for Riley's Christmas present."
"Really?" Maura smiled lovingly when she looked into Jane's sparkling eyes, stunned by her breathtaking smile.
"Yeah. We're going to Florida, right? And Riley loves Harry Potter. I found out there's this Harry Potter world in Orlando. They built Hogwarts, Hogsmeade… You can enter in a Quidditch match and take magic classes and stuff like that."
"Wow, I didn't understand any of the last things you said but I think Riley would love that." Maura replied, a bright smile still lighting up her face. "It's quite a drive, though. We're not particularly close to Orlando."
Jane shrugged and took a sip of her beer. "We'll make a day of it. It'll be a road trip, something like that."
Maura looked adoringly at her wife and grabbed her wineglass. "It's a great idea, Jane."
"You don't have to look so surprised." Jane smirked.
Maura laughed. "I'm not! I'm amazed by your beauty and greatness, that's different." She sweetly kissed Jane's lips and drank the last of her wine.
Jane smirked and finished her beer. "We should probably go." She said in a reluctant tone. "It's late."
Maura hummed and leaned into Jane's side. "Just a little longer?" She asked softly, not wanting to leave their little romantic bubble in the restaurant.
Jane smiled and put her arm around her wife, pulling her close. "Alright, if you insist." She smirked.
'A little longer' turned into another half hour. By the time the two women got home, Tommy was on the couch watching a movie and he was not happy. "Finally!" He said as Maura and Jane entered the living room. "You're an hour late."
"I'm sorry." Maura apologized. "We didn't realize how late it was."
"I bet you didn't." Tommy turned off the TV and threw the remote next to him on the couch, but Maura saw his eyes sparkling with a smile.
"Where's TJ?" Jane asked, looking around the room.
"Lydia picked him up. Riley went to bed an hour ago."
"Thank you, Tommy." Jane said in a sincere tone. "I'm sorry we're late."
Tommy smiled and shrugged. "It's alright. We had a good time. You two have picked a great kid."
Maura smiled brightly and wrapped her arm around Jane's waist. "We did, didn't we?"
"What did you do tonight?" Jane asked.
"Riley played a game with TJ until he was so tired he could barely walk. After Lydia picked him up, I taught her how to play chess."
"That's fantastic!" Maura moved her arm to clasp her hands together and walked towards the dining table, seeing the chessboard. "How was she?"
"Not bad, actually! I mean, she's just learning so I beat the crap out of her, but I think she'll be good after some practice."
Jane playfully punched her brother. "Thank you. That's really nice, to beat our daughter in her fist game of chess ever."
"How else is she gonna learn?" Tommy smiled. "It's no use to protect her against every letdown in the world, she has to grow some balls so she can handle it!"
Maura laughed but the truth of those words didn't escape her. She wouldn't have said in in Tommy's words, but he was right. Riley had to be able to deal with the world eventually, even though Maura wanted to protect her against all the bad things that ever existed. Riley had to be protected, yes, but they had to be careful not to smother the girl. A balance that was difficult to find.
Jane moved to hug her younger brother. "Thanks for watching her." Jane said before Maura moved to do the same.
"And thanks for teaching her how to play chess." Maura smiled and watched Jane chatting with Tommy while he got ready to leave. Maura said goodbye to her brother in law and walked upstairs to check on Riley.
She carefully opened Riley's bedroom door, assuming to find the girl sleeping, but she saw Riley sitting up in bed, staring at the wall.
"Hey, I thought you'd be sleeping." Maura said softly.
Riley shrugged and looked at Maura who sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm not. How was your night?"
"It was amazing." Maura smiled when she thought about their much-needed romantic night. "But it's nice to be back home too."
Maura saw Riley smiling but her eyes didn't participate. She saw that same sadness and angst she had been seeing for the past few weeks. "Riley," Maura said softly, "are you okay?"
Riley looked into Maura's eyes and Maura noticed a hint of fear in the girl. "Yeah, I'm fine." Riley said rather quickly. "Why?"
Maura smoothed Riley's hair out of her face and looked into clear blue eyes. "I don't think you are, honey." She whispered.
Riley looked down and lowered her knees as she fumbled with her pajama shirt. "No, but I will be."
Maura sighed and grabbed one of Riley's fumbling hands. "We can help you, Riley. Why won't you let us help you?"
Riley didn't answer, causing Maura to move closer to the girl and wrapping her arms around her. Maura felt Riley resting her head on her shoulder, her tiny arms clinging to her foster mother.
"You are helping." Riley said softly. "This is helping."
Maura squeezed Riley close and kissed the girl's head. She didn't know what was bothering Riley. There could have been a million things bothering her and Maura didn't want to guess.
"I don't know what's going on in that little head of yours but you have to know that we're here for you, no matter what." Maura tried to pull back to look at Riley but Riley refused to let go, burying herself in Maura's arms. Maura sighed and smiled sadly, touched by Riley's need for affection. "I mean it, honey. No matter what."
"Thank you." Riley mumbled.
"Riley?" Maura asked carefully, still holding the girl tight. "Did it bother you that we left you tonight?"
Riley shook her head. "No. I understand you need some time together sometimes."
"You have to know that we don't need time away from you, sweetheart. We just needed some time for the two of us. That's different."
"I know."
Maura smiled and softly rocked Riley back and forth, lovingly rubbing Riley's back. "You know, we figured out your Christmas present tonight." She said.
Riley pulled back and looked at Maura with wide eyes. "You're getting me a present? And we're going on a vacation to Florida?"
Maura laughed and nodded. "Yes. It's a bit much; I realize that. But you deserved it."
"You shouldn't be spending so much money on me." Riley said softly. "You're already paying for my school."
"It's our decision how we spend our money, Riley. And we decide to spend it on our daughter."
Riley smiled and looked at Maura while she leaned back against the headboard. "I'm not your daughter yet. Officially, I'm still his daughter."
"I don't give a crap about whose daughter you are officially." Maura said. She smiled when she saw Riley's gaze snapping towards her when she used the word 'crap.' "You're our daughter." She leaned forward to press her lips against Riley's forehead. "You're my daughter and I love you."
Riley's tiny arms wrapped around Maura's neck, holding her in a desperate embrace. "Go to sleep, sweetheart." Maura said softly as she felt Riley loosening her grip. "You have to pack your stuff tomorrow. We're leaving very early in the morning on Monday."
"I wish it was Monday already." Riley said with a bright smile.
Maura watched Riley's face lighting up and swallowed a lump in her throat as she felt tears burning in her eyes. "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner it will be Monday."
"That's not true. Monday is just as far away if I don't go to sleep." Riley smirked.
Maura laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind Riley's ear. She had used the exact same words in the past when Jane told her to go to sleep before a big day. She knew it was impossible to have any genetic resemblance with the girl, but it made the doctor endlessly happy to see qualities of both Jane and herself in Riley.
"You're right. But at least you'll be well-rested." She cupped Riley's face and kissed her cheek before guiding her to lie down and covering her in blankets. She got up from the bed and reached down to kiss Riley's forehead. "Good night, love."
Riley turned on her side and snuggled to get warm. "Good night."
Maura turned off the lights and was surprised to see Jane standing in the hallway, a big smile lighting up her face. "Have you been listening?" She whispered.
Jane nodded and wrapped her arms around her wife. "You're an amazing mom, did you know that?"
Maura smiled shyly. "So are you, Jane." She wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and kissed her lips. "Thank you for tonight. I had an amazing night."
Jane hummed and kissed Maura's lips before taking Maura's hand, leading them to the bedroom. "Me too. And I have a great idea about how to finish it."