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Another huge hug goes to Jane and Inês for beta reading. Thanks girls :D

And JLCH don't worry, I did not run out of ideas but I always like when people tell me what they would like to happen in my stories. More brains have more ideas and it is possible that one idea is a really good one I actually never would have thougt about so I really appreciate it to read about your thoughts and ideas because they inspire me.

Now go and read this extra long chapter :)

Chapter 14

His new apartment was huge.

He wouldn't have taken it if it hadn't been his only option, and since you don't have lots of choices when you start looking for a furnished apartment five days before you want to move in, he settled for it. You have to take what you get even if the bathroom looks girlish and even if you don't need a 160 square feet kitchen.

The first night in Berlin he wasn't able to sleep at all. The jetlag was bothering him and so was his leg. Furthermore, his thoughts were out of control and every time he tried to close his eyes all he could think about was Cuddy and that he would probably never see her again.

The second night wasn't any better. Not at all. But at least he was able to catch a few hours of sleep even though it wasn't a peaceful one.

He dreamt about his father telling him he was a horrible person and that he deserved every single second of his misery. Then all of a sudden John was gone and Wilson was standing in front of him accusing him of killing Amber and blaming him for ruining his life. Unexpectedly, Wilson morphed into a petite woman. Cuddy. She was looking at him with glistening eyes filled with hatred. She told him she wished they had never met. She told him that she regretted every second she'd spent with him. She told him that she hated him and that Rachel hated him as well. And that everyone else should too because all he deserved was hatred.

When he woke up he was covered in sweat and his heart was beating as if he had just ran a marathon.

He felt moisture dropping from his cheek. First he thought it were drops of sweat but then he realized that it wasn't just perspiration and he hated it.

"Good morning sweetheart." Cuddy drew open the curtains in her daughter's room.

Rachel protested with a loud "mhhhh" and pulled her stuffed sheep over her eyes to cover them from the bright light that now emerged into her room.

Cuddy smiled, sat down on the edge of her daughter's bed, pressed a kiss to her cheek and whispered: "Time to get up."

"Nooo." The little girl murmured sleepily.

"But it would be really sad if no one ate the chocolate chip pancakes I made."

"Pancakes?" Rachel asked in the cutest voice Cuddy had heard in her entire life.

"Yes and if you want you can even put maple syrup on them."

Rachel threw her stuffed sheep into a corner and sat up. "Ok, I'm awake now."

"Great! Let's go and eat breakfast then."

"Rach?"

"Hm!" the little girl looked up at her mom while she was chewing down her pancake with a smile on her face.

"I have to talk to you about something." Cuddy put the glass of orange juice out of Rachel's way so she wouldn't accidently spill it.

"Bout what?"

"Remember when you asked me if we were going to see House again a few days ago?"

Rachel nodded.

"Well I thought about it… and I think that maybe it would be a good idea if we visited him."

The little girl's face lit up and her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really." Cuddy smiled at her daughter's excitement.

"Yeah!" Rach got up from her chair and practically jumped at her mom to give her a hug. "I so wanna go and visit him!"

"That's what I thought honey..."

"Can I go and pack my bag?" Rachel was talking so fast that Cuddy hardly understood what she was saying.

"You can do that after you get home from school today..."

"We not going today?"

"No we will leave tomorrow morning so we still have some time to pack."

"Can't we go right now?" The whining undertone in her voice might have been a bit annoying but at the same time it was beyond cute.

"I'm sorry baby but we won't go there by car. House lives in Europe now and that is quite far away from here. We have to take a plane to go there, and our plane tickets are only for tomorrow."

"Can't we just switch them and go today?"

"It doesn't work like that, Rach." Cuddy gently put a strand of her daughter's uncombed hair behind her ear. "We have to wait until tomorrow."

"OK." Rachel sighed but gave in. She knew that whining wouldn't change anything about it and, actually, she was just really, really glad that they would go and see House whether it would happen today or tomorrow.

Cuddy wasn't still quite sure about her decision. While the irrational side of her brain was totally fine with her choice, the rational side kept reminding her about all the insane things he did. Things she should actually never forgive him for.

But Cuddy knew that even though what he did was really, really crazy and extremely horrible, he was not a bad person. Back then he hadn't known how to handle the emotional pain he was feeling. He'd freaked out. His world had been crashing down on him that night. Until then he'd thought that there was still a possibility of them getting back together, but then, all his hopes were ripped from him. He thought she'd lied to him. In that moment he had felt so much pain and rage that he just lost control.

Now it might have been sounding that she was trying to justify what he did, but that was not what it was. Cuddy was just trying to look at it objectively. She knew she probably shouldn't. She knew that she probably shouldn't even consider flying to him and doing whatever she would decide on doing but she just had to.

House had paid for what he did. He had been in jail where he went through hell, he had lost her and in the end he had also lost his best friend. The last few years of his life had sucked big time and it was time to make it at least a little bit better.

She knew that it shouldn't be her to take over but who else would do it? Who else would really care? And the weirdest thing of all was: She didn't want it to be someone else because, despite everything, she still loved him.

Yeah, that was truth, the truth she had been ignoring and denying for the last few years: She still loved Greg House and apparently there was nothing in the world that could ever change that.

Next day

It was quite a hectic morning. Her fill-in at the hospital called 3 times to ask all kinds of unimportant stuff, plus Rachel was all hyper and overly excited and had already been up since 5am, running through the house like crazy.

When they were finally at the airport the stress didn't really decrease. The check in went quite fast but then they had to wait in line for about half an hour until the security guys finally checked them out and sent them to their gate.

Cuddy hadn't really thought about what they were doing, she had been just too busy to think about anything but when they opened the gate and started letting people on the plane it all hit her: They really were on their way to see House. They were on their way to Germany, to Berlin, to House.

"Mommy! We need to go!" Rachel called when she noticed that the group of people in the waiting area got smaller and smaller.

Cuddy tore herself away from her thoughts, looked at her daughter, extended her hand to her so she could take it. "Let's go then."

She got more and more nervous the closer they got to Germany. She asked herself once again if it really was the right choice to be on this plane.

It sure would have been easier to stay in Boston and to keep denying that she still loved and missed him. But when did she ever settle for easy?

"Look mom! The clouds look like fluffy cotton candy!" Rachel shouted excited.

Cuddy looked passed the small window and agreed. "They do."

"I so have to tell House about it… He loves cotton candy!" The little girl giggled and kept looking out of the window.

Cuddy sighed and realized that it didn't matter if she doubted if her decision was right or not. It was too late now anyway. Rachel was so excited to see him that Cuddy would never be able to disappoint her that much by changing her mind.

The damage was done. There was no way out anymore. They had to see House. She had to go through with it. There was no backing down.

Berlin was unexpectedly beautiful. Cuddy fell in love with all the huge parks and forests that, according to the cab driver covered a third of the entire town.

It took them about half an hour to get from the airport to their hotel to check in and to drop off their luggage.

Cuddy actually wanted to stay in the hotel for a while in order to postpone the meeting she had been afraid of for days but Rachel had no intention of wasting another minute.

So she decided to call another cab to ride to the hospital she knew House worked in. She had done a bit of research and made a few calls. In her position as a dean of medicine it had been relatively easy to find out which hospital House worked in.

The trip to the hospital was hell. Cuddy's feelings were in a muddle and her heart was beating madly. She couldn't believe that she was really on her way to meet House. It all felt surreal. It felt unreal.

"Are we there yet?" Rachel asked excitedly for about the 10th time in the last 8 minutes.

Cuddy was about to tell her once more that she had no clue since she didn't know the way when the cab suddenly stopped.

She looked out of the window and recognized a hospital. The hospital.

They had reached their destination.

"Yeah…" Cuddy took a deep breath. "We are here."

It would have taken her much longer to enter the hospital if Rachel hadn't been dragging her into the building.

The familiar hospital smell, that actually used to calm her down, suddenly made her feel even more nervous.

"Where to?" Rachel looked up at her mom.

"I don't know… I guess we have to ask someone." Cuddy took Rachel's hand in order to avoid losing her in any of those big wings and made her way over to the information counter. The nurse sent them to the third floor where House' office was located.

They took the elevator. Rachel was excited and Cuddy was all kind of things she couldn't really describe.

When the doors of the elevator opened with a "bing" Rachel immediately broke free from her mother's grip and started running which left Cuddy no time to hesitate. She had to go after her.

"Rach wait!" Cuddy exited the elevator as well and followed her. When Rachel suddenly stopped dead in tracks Cuddy knew it was him who her daugther just saw and who made her react like that.

A cold shiver went through her body when she looked up and caught sight of him.

He was standing at a counter writing something down.

Her body covered itself with goose bumps and even though she hadn't even talked to him yet she knew she had made the right choice.

Rachel looked up at her mom and silently asked for permission to go to him.

Cuddy just smiled and nodded. And this was all it took for Rachel to shout his name, to run over to him and to hug his left leg.

House was startled by the sudden attack but when he looked down and recognized the little girl he felt, for a second, that he was going to faint.

Rachel… This was Rachel! Cuddy's Rachel!

What the hell is she doing here? What is going on? Why was Rachel here in Germany hugging his leg?

He was confused and overwhelmed. It was obvious that he wanted to ask her something but somehow he couldn't speak.

House removed his eyes from the little girl and then caught sight of the woman he thought he would never see again, ever in his entire life.

Cuddy. His Cuddy.

She was standing a few feet from him with an insecure smile on her lips.

His mouth was slightly ajar and Cuddy could only think about how adorable he looked.

"I missed you so much!" Rachel murmured into his jeans and tightened her grip on him.

He softly put his hand on the kid's head to show her that he felt the same, even though he couldn't say it at that moment.

He was startled once more when he noticed that Cuddy had approached him and was now standing directly in front of him.

His eyes found hers.

"Hi House." She did a crappy job at hiding her nervousness.

"… Hi… Cuddy." He hoped his voice didn't sound as vulnerable to her as it sounded to himself.

"Mommy! We found House!" Rachel shouted excited.

Without removing her eyes from his Cuddy answered: "Yeah… we did."

TBC

yeah, I know it's mean to stop at this point... but I think it is necessary.

I promise you to update the next chapter asap. Leave me some feedback in the meantime.