Hey guys! At last! An actual chapter! I'm so sorry it took so long, I promise it won't happen again! I haven't written anything in a very long time so please please PLEASE leave feedback, whether you love it or want to leave advice about how to make it better for you guys, if you don't tell me I won't know. I want everyone to be happy :)
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What the hell was I thinking? Following her home, forcing my way into her life. So what if she's rich? I was a fool to think I'd ever get anything out of her. It's not like we're friends. I don't even do that for my friends! But I can't seem to stop myself from wondering... What the hell was up with her dad? What kind of Father doesn't give a shit after he's been informed his daughter's just tried to kill herself? I know my dad would flip. He'd ask me if I was okay, check for any damage, then kill me himself for even trying something so stupid! And those eyes... I didn't want to show it back there, but looking him in the eye was like having my spine pulled out from my mouth. That's one scary ass dude. Not that I'd ever admit it aloud.
Is that why Lucy's the way she is? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree kind of thing? With a role model like that, I can kind of understand why she's such a bitch. Not that I've ever seen it personally... But from the stories I've heard, the family resemblance is uncanny. Argh! Stop thinking about it! Just let it go already. Why can't I get this girl out of my head, it's like she's somehow dug her dirty little fingernails under layers of skin and I just can't seem to break free of her grip.
For the rest of the walk home I put my headphones in and try and drown out any thoughts I was for some reason, obsessing over. It seemed to have worked as waves of sound penetrated my eardrums and washed any unwanted thoughts out of my mind. For now. I matched my footsteps to the beat of the song and walked home in a blissful trance unaware of the world that was passing me by. Maybe if I had been a little more aware of my surroundings I would have seen a girl no older than me waving me down from across the street. If I had been a little more aware of my surroundings I would have seen that it was, in fact, a very pissed off Lissana crossing said street and heading my way. Why she was so angry? Who knows! I guess I'd soon find out.
I was brought out of my blissful state of mind by a very hard slap to the back of the shoulder, feeling my anger bubble inside me as I was forced to come back into reality and face off against anyone who thought they could attack me. Whoever it was, I could take 'em. If I could beat Gray I could beat anyone.
"What the hell!" I yelled as I ripped my headphones from my ears, my fists raised at the unknown presence who thought it would be a good idea to pick a fight with me. As I swung around ready to beat down on my opponent I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Lissana hiding behind her arms, giving out small whimpers, bracing herself for impact. I felt strangely subdued seeing her face there instead of another female I've recently come in to contact with... Not that I'd admit it to myself. I sigh and massage my temple as I brace myself for what I could only imagine being a very one-sided argument, and by one-sided I mean her telling me I'm wrong and me being forced to agree. Like always. May as well get it over with.
"What the hell, Lissana." I say with a deadpan voice as she lifts her eyes off the floor and meets my gaze. I can see her confidence growing by the second as it clicks in her mind that I'm not actually going to hit her. Her expression shifts into something I could only describe as ugly as she prepares her 'argument'.
"Don't what the hell ME little boy! Where the HELL have you been! I've been trying to text and call you since the dance and don't you DARE tell me that you haven't checked your phone because you're listening to music on it right now!"
"Lis"
"You've been cheating, haven't you! You son of a bitch after everything I do for you this is how you repay me? You're lucky I don't dump your ass right here right now!"
"LIS-"
"It's that slut from the dance, isn't it! The one you were dancing with when you were supposed to be with me!"
"LISSANA" That shut her up. She looks kind of surprised, I think this is the first time I've ever spoken back to her, or interrupted her for that matter... What the hell is wrong with me? I'm Natsu Dragneel! Anyone disrespects me I punch 'em! So why do I take it from her? Huh, I guess I've never really thought about it 'till now, maybe it's because I grew up with her? I've grown accustomed to her antics? I put up with it because I don't notice it, not the way others would anyway.
Oh my god, It's like the glass in my eyes has shattered right before me. The image I had built up of Lissana over the years had come tumbling down in an instant and I was finally seeing her for what she was. A selfish, stuck up egotistical manic. She has no respect for helself so I could never expect her to have any for me. I don't need this, I don't need to be accused of cheating when it's only been a mere two days of not speaking. Man fuck this.
"I think we should break up" I say as I see her face scrunch up in confusion.
"Wha... What?"
"I said, I think we should break up. I just want to be friends. This isn't working out."
"I don't think so, Natsu. You're mine. Trust me, we will never be apart. We are not breaking up, and that's final."
We stare at each other for a few moments, both not backing down. One willing the other to leave, the other to stay. But I'm sick of being pushed arond. I can't believe I've never noticed it happening before. Man do I feel stupid. We were finally brought out of our little moment when Lissana's phone began to ring. She answered with no hesitation and I used that chance to slip away before she noticed, and from what I would imagine, give chase.
Finally I was out of sight and headed for home. I really hoped my dad was in, I could use a distraction. A good one this time.
As I entered my house, I tried to listen out for any signs of life moving about my home. But as luck would have it, the one time I actually wanted my dad to be home, the house was vacant. Empty. So basically how I was feeling right now. Fuck, why the hell do I let girls get to me like this. Nothing can bring down the almighty Natsu Drangneel! Especially not some blonde nerd with a bad attitude! And Lissana. I suppose.
I slink off to my bedroom seeing no purpose in staying in a dead living room. (Ironic, right?) I enter my mancave and nose dive straight in to my pillows. They're so soft and welcoming... I wonder if this is what Lucy feels like... Wait, what? Ugh... Maybe I was too hasty with Lissana. I mean, I love her right? I shouldn't of broken things off just because I didn't like it, a relationships supposed to be about compromise and I'm sure there's things I do that she can't stand! Like, ignore her texts for two days... Man, I feel like such a dick. I've been so focussed on me that I failed to see that I had something special right in front of me! That's it, I'm gonna try one more time to work things out with Lis. I'm sure we can work something out! Besides, she's great in the sack. I'd be a fool to let that go. That settles it. The next time I see Lissana I'm gonna make things right. At least I'm not thinking about that weirdo Luigi anymore.
Lucy... I can't help but let my mind wander to the scene before me, earlier that day. It's like there was something trying to wiggle it's way to the front of my brain, trying to enlighten me to the facts displayed out in front of me that I was so clearly oblivious to. What was it... What was it! I grasped my head as the pressure was weighing down on me like a sack of bricks, there was something seriously wrong, I just didn't know what. I looked around my room in a desperate attempt of distraction from my state of mind, only, I didn't find a distraction. Only inspiration. Her notebook! with how think and worn down the pages were there should be some kind of enlightenment about her crappy life right? If it would ease my racing mind, I will god damn read the entire thing if I have to!
Quickly getting up from my bed I race over to my desk and almost tripped over my chair as I fought against gravity and stabilized myself. Why am I getting myself so crazy about some spoiled rich kid who does nothing but harasses my girlfriend? If there was anything I should be doing right now it should be going over there right now to embrace her, kiss her, tell her how much I love her. Her devious smile that I've grown accustomed to, that shine in her eyes whenever she looks my way, her amazing laugh. They're the only things I should be investing my time in right now!
But why does that image suddenly make me feel sick. Don't think about that. You're gonna make things right, remember?
There's something wrong with me. I shouldn't be thinking like this. How dare that vile little skank force her way into my head like this, making me question everything I've ever known. For what! Some silly little feeling. One that won't go away. One that seems to be taking over every fiber of my being.
I hadn't realised I'd let my head drop until I heard the bang from either my skull or my desk. Probably both. Great, now I don't just have mental pains but physical ones too. I sigh as I flip the pages of the notebook. There's no point stalling this any longer. I flip to the first page and see that stupid picture, the one that gave me the stupid idea to put myself in this shitty situation to begin with. I decided not to think much of it and skipped to the next few pages. It was full of story ideas and half-finished songs. See? there's nothing to think about! Just a weird book with weird poems about her shitty life. She's got no friends so she's gotta vent somewhere. I laugh to myself as I imagine her sitting around a table with all of her stuffed teddies having tea parties with her made up pals. That's what happens when you push everyone away.
"My diary"
So she did write something useful after all. I flipped the page to the first entry and read the first sentence my eyes came in to contact with, although now, I really wish I hadn't.
"My Father forced himself on me today."
Oh, shit. I feel the bile rising in my throat as I think about exactly what that sentence means. I force myself to continue reading, half intrigued, half mortified.
"My father forced himself on me today. I begged and pleaded for him to stop but all he kept calling out was my mothers name. It was like I wasn't even there for him. I can't believe my first was taken by... The pain was unbearable. I can't possibly understand why anyone would ever find it enjoyable. Just the thought of it makes me want to be sick...
I know I'm an eye sore. The way I resemble my mother is astonishing. Even down to the shape of her breasts, the curve of her waist... If I was just a little bit taller it would be like looking in a mirror if you stood us opposite. I can understand why my father hates me so. I'd feel nothing but remorse if I had to look at my dead spouse daily too. But where I understand I do not condone. My father will end up killing me some day. Especially if he is drunk like he was tonight. The beatings are becoming almost daily... I'm not sure how much more I can take. The bruises are getting harder to conceal, the staff can't keep track of what is old and new concerning my injuries... I need to come up with a way to keep my father appeased... The punishment is always worse when he has been provoked."
"And I provoked him today... I'm so sorry Lucy..."