Getting closer to end, guys. Getting closer.

When morning finally broke, Levi had ordered that we were to return to the walls. Eren refused to let anyone else near me as he handled my chains, the rusted metals tight in his grip as he aided me in getting on his horse. He didn't like it, I could see it in his eyes, but it gave him an excuse to be close to me. I smiled at Eren softly in reassurance, but inside I was shaking. I had just proved that I wasn't meant to be another key to humanity's redemption. I was just as bloodthirsty as the other Titans that had drove humans to the point of extinction. What killed me inside was how ready I was to accept the possibility of being another piece of hope, but I knew otherwise. It didn't matter if Eren threw my words back at me, to tell m that I wasn't a monster. He couldn't know the truth about my true origins.

I felt Eren's warm, calloused fingers push my hair from my forehead, his turquoise eyes fixed on me. "How are you feeling, Damara?" he asked softly. I sighed just as softly, leaning into the touch of his fingers against my temple. "I don't know," I whispered my answer. "I don't really know and it bothers me."

"It bothers me to see these chains on you, that's for sure," he muttered angrily before he dropped his hand and climbed onto his horse. I could feel the animal quivering beneath me, shifting its weight, while everyone else gathered the necessities and climbed on their own steeds. Armin and Mikasa flanked our sides, Armin shooting me an encouraging smile and Mikasa nodding in the silent, supportive, steady way of hers. I envied Eren having these two people in his life in spite of the fact that our world was in a tragic state. All I had were distant memories that had returned in a torrent of violence and Eren. My life would have been terribly short lived if Eren had not saved my life. In fact, I owed Eren. A life for a life; as he saved mine, I would defend his to the death.

Mikasa helped wind my chained hands around Eren so that I was secured against him and her steely eyes scanned over me. No doubt checking for anything untoward or an injury that could have been dealt in my manic attack as a Titan. "Everything's going to be okay," she murmured to me. "You're important to us too. Armin and I will protect you just as fiercely as Eren."

I smiled at her, grateful for her words. "I know, Mikasa," I replied and she nodded right as Levi gave order for us all to start our journey back to the walls.

I pressed my cheek against the warmth of Eren's back, the fabric of the Survey Corps jacket rough against my skin, yet I could perceive his body heat as if it were a tiny flame. Eren was tensed, the muscles in his back strained, as he gripped the reigns of his horse. I could see Armin, Historia, and Sasha on the side I was facing and a cold splash of sadness assailed me. Historia and Sasha were so amicable to me and I felt that my recent transformation distanced the others even more from me, like an ocean I couldn't cross. I laced my fingers, the feel of them unfamiliar. My body could no longer recognize the mind within. It was astonishing how quickly the change occurred inside of me and how completely strange it felt. My mind had understood the difference my body couldn't. I wasn't sure how to truly comprehend things aside from how startlingly different I felt toward myself.

"Damara?" Historia's voice broke my revere and I found myself focusing on her face, her unwavering irises. When she realized she had my attention, she continued. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I…that we all reacted this way to you. It's just…" She trailed off, looking at the hands gripping her reigns.

"Historia." When her head shot up at the sound of my voice, I smiled at her. "It's okay. Really. I understand." Of course I understood. I reacted with fear at my own transformation when it first occurred. They had witnessed it far too often, with Hanji's experiments on Eren and I, and when I hadn't accepted the fact that I was truly different. I hadn't even wanted to be different. My only goal in my life was to find Eren and learn more about him since I first saw him in that dungeon. I endured three years of training, the similar training he went through and was the top of my class for, just to see him again. I wanted to be with him. Everything felt so surreal that half the time I wondered if I was just dreaming, that Eren and the others were just figments of my broken psyche.

"You're thinking," Eren muttered under his breath. I exhaled before slowly rubbing my cheek against his back. He stiffened for a moment, his body heat flaring, which almost made me giggle given the circumstances. He was going to act embarrassed when he had kissed me in the most intense of ways while he stayed by my side, telling me his desires in his haze of sleepiness. Heat rose to my cheeks at the thought. Our dreams were precious like treasures, yet could be easily taken away from us like smoke through our fingers. I hated that feeling of helplessness, but I wanted to hold onto that dream. After all, he and I dreamed of being together. I wanted that more than anything I've ever craved in my existence before him or since.

The walls looked forbidding when the gate was lifted and we passed through. People whispered and watched us, pointed at the chains on my wrists. Their glances and whispers were cold and I tried to detect any words of cruelty directed toward me, but they were immutable. I felt Eren's large hand around one of mine and I relaxed only for a moment. Eren straightened, looking straight ahead and I felt that he wanted to convey that I disregard the words. Eren wasn't the one in chains, though.

His grip on my hand tightened and I closed my eyes. The warmth and content that would rise from my heart in his presence bubbled through my blood. Eren was my rock, considering that he was more like a grenade.

When we were away from the prying eyes and harsh whispers, Hanji exhaled loudly. "Every time. Every time we come back from outside of the walls, people feel the need to gossip!" she moaned woefully.

"We returned with one of our own in chains, shitty glasses," Levi bit at her, his narrowed eyes glaring in her direction. "Of course people are going to talk. They have nothing better to do with their time."

After lifting my arms off of him, Eren jumped off of his horse. His face was twisted in anger and he seemed to hesitate to want to snap at Levi, but I reached for the lapel of his jacket to urge his attention toward me. When he looked straight at me, I shook my head. Eren made a noise of impatient under his breath, his hands on my hips to help me down. Mikasa and Armin were at our side instantaneously.

"I'm obviously going to need to do more experiments," murmured Hanji as she strode toward me. "Your transformations are becoming unpredictable, this recent one not triggered by anything. It's strange."

If only she knew. But I couldn't tell her the answer she was searching for with me. Hell, if anything, there was no real answer aside that my transformations weren't unpredictable. At least, not in the way Hanji figured. I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my mind. It was one thing for others to have thoughts; it was another for me to indulge for even a minute. I didn't want to think about things like this.

I felt Eren's hand close over mine, that solid warmth I was so used to, and I looked at him. His teeth were furrowed into his lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, yet not breaking flesh. His brows were drawn in irritation or anger or both. His grip was tightening on my hand and I didn't want to wince. Mikasa stepped toward us and gently pried Eren's hand from mine. "Eren. Calm down. If you do anything, it will jeopardize Damara's future," she chided and her steely eyes flickered to me. I met her gaze head on. Mikasa would always take care of Eren. She understood because in spite of them not being related by blood, I felt that she harbored feelings for Eren as well. She was a good sport.

I flexed my wrists, the shackles jangling when we were out of the crowd's sight. "Let's go," Levi barked to us and we followed him in silence. Eren stuck close to my side, Mikasa and Armin flanking us. My eyes flickered to everyone else and my own teeth furrowed into my lower lip, close to breaking flesh but not quiet. I didn't want to risk actually triggering a transformation if I could avoid it. My heart began to beat in rapid succession, sweat beginning to bead my brow.

That's when I heard it. The dull thumping of footfall against the earth. The hollow feeling of dread brewed into the pit of my stomach, so much so that I was about to retch the contents of my stomach. My insides quivered at the noise that my ears picked up because I knew what it was. I felt a tug on my sleeve and saw the wondering looks of Eren, Mikasa, and Armin.

"Titans," I whispered. "Titans are coming."

"What are you talking about?" Levi asked crossly, crossing his arms.

I was already nervous as it was. Eren was at my side, knowing that he admired Levi yet Eren wanted to stay on my side. I exhaled a shaky breath, my palms sweating profusely. "I…heard Titans," I murmured.

"What do you mean you heard Titans?" he bit out, but Hanji interceded with her eyes glinting with excitement behind her glasses. "You can hear them coming?"

"Yes," I answered Hanji before addressing Levi. "It's a vast number, corporal, and they're coming this way. We have to stop them. That's what we do, isn't it?"

"She and I can handle it," Eren added, his turquoise eyes glinting.

"She isn't going to fight Titans, Jaeger," snapped Levi. "I'm not even considering it. She turns every time she transforms and there's no damn proof that she won't this time."

The conviction underlying his brutal words was what damaged my self-worth. Levi had no faith in me; how could I expect the others to? I bit hard onto my lower lip before speaking. "It's too large a horde for Eren to handle. I ask you to please, let me help him."

"And if you turn into a bloodthirsty monster?"

"I won't." The surprise that overtook Levi's and Hanji's faces at the conviction in my voice was satisfying, but not in the way that made complete and utter sense in the situation at hand. I kept my gaze fixed on them, ceasing on biting my lip, my heart pounding, the dull thumping in my ears becoming louder and louder. "We are running out of time, corporal," I added softly, my voice holding the intensity of a scream. "Let us fight."

I could practically hear Levi's teeth grinding before he spat out, "Fine. So help me if you turn bloodthirsty, I will add your head to my Titan kills."

Eren tensed beside me, but I said, "Deal."

Levi walked forward, pulling out a key from his pocket before undoing my shackles. As soon as my wrists were free, we all went to the walls, with me taking the lead as I could hear the footfall. My blood was pulsing inside of me, radioactive, reading to explode. The rest of us had the 3DMG, but I did not. I had no reason to. When we got to the top of the wall, I ventured to go to the edge and look down.

Titans were clawing at the walls, thirsting for the human flesh beyond the borders. I knew that Titans only fed on humans because they solely kill, but part of me wondered if they enjoyed it. A strong wind whipped my hair forward and I saw those emotionless eyes rise to me. The quivering inside of my body grew worse.

"Damara, get away from there," Mikasa warned as she gripped her swords. Everyone else was about to follow her lead.

"Don't." My voice shook as I looked back at them. Eren frowned. "Damara, what are you saying?" he murmured. I felt my eyes beginning to water. "I have to take them on. They can smell me," I replied as strongly as I could. "They know."

"What?" Jean interjected.

"The Titans down there, clawing this wall. They know exactly what I am. I can see it in their eyes."

The silence was total.

"What do you mean?" Eren's voice had an edge I didn't recognize and I could see him beginning to step forward before Mikasa held him back. "What the hell do you mean, Damara?!"

I exhaled. "Eren. That transformation wasn't triggered by accident. It was intended."

"Damara…what do you mean intended?" bit out Eren.

"Oh my God," Armin breathed, comprehension dawning in his eyes. I smiled sadly at him. He was always so intelligent, making the right decisions when necessary. "Oh my God," he repeated.

I nodded at him to confirm his suspicious and the comprehension grew.

"What the hell's going on?" Levi snarled. I looked back down to the clamoring Titans and swallowed a lump in my throat. My breath hitched. "It's time for me to die, is what's going on," I said.

"What in the hell are you saying?" Eren exclaimed and I wanted to cry at the sound of betrayal and tears in his voice. "What do you mean it's time for you to die!?"

I shivered. I had to tell them the truth about me. The truth that would give them a few moments of a fighting chance.

"I remember everything." I could sense the shock reverberating in the air from my comrades. "I finally remember." I inched closer to the edge, the tips of my boots over the edge while I still maintained being on the wall where those monsters below could see me. "The reason I couldn't remember before was because of the Titan attack in Trost, yes, but not in the way you think."

"How so?" asked Hanji, her voice quivering with something akin to excitement and worry all meshed together.

"Kamilla James. Older sister to Leni James, eldest daughter to Nadja, whose husband died from natural causes," I continued. "That was my name. Kamilla. I had lived with my mother and sister and my sister loved to play outside when we could. She dreamed of being outside of the walls too. However…" I looked back at them, and I could only imagine what they saw on my face, for I could see the horror on theirs. "My home was besieged by Titans, destroying everything. My mother and sister were killed. I was eaten."

The gasps from Historia and Sasha were loud and I could see tormented expressions upon the visage of everyone else. Even then, I continued undeterred.

"The reason I remembered nothing each time I transformed was due to one fact I think. I wandered for years, like a mindless predator, devouring stray humans when I can, yet aware that the other Titans knew that I was a dangerous breed. I was, as Hanji had dubbed me, the clawed Titan. But it's more than that. I have spent so long in that state that there was no reversing it. For lack of a more graceful way to say it, I am a Titan."

"That's not true." Eren's voice cut through me and I could hear his tears. "Damara, it can't be true. You're just…"

"Eren." I stopped his rant. "The reason I was able to be free of that body was because someone cut the nape of the neck that did not kill me even though it was intended." I shut my eyes. "I'm sorry, everyone. I know I was supposed to be considered humanity's hope like Eren and help you take back the world. However, I cannot continue to help you with that endeavor any longer."

"Shut up!" I spun around to see Eren struggling to get to me, yet Mikasa had a firm hold on him. Tears were loaded in his eyes, threatening to spill. "You can't do this! Dammit Damara, you can't do this!"

"Kamilla," I corrected and even doing so broke my heart. "My name is Kamilla, not Damara. Damara was the name of the original clawed Titan, whose memory I could see after I devoured her. Her memories had meshed with mine and in turn had rendered me practically invalid and mute. I had said my name was Damara because it was the only name I remembered and had thought it was my own." I looked back again. "I could have killed you all with each transformation, which was a way for my body to forcibly remember. Now I will end things."

"Don't do this. Please," Eren begged, struggling futilely against Mikasa's grip. "I don't fucking care if you're Damara or Kamilla, just don't do what I think you're doing."

My tears fell without my consent, hot trails down my cheeks. "I'm sorry, Eren. I am so sorry. I wish things were different. I really do. I want to remain fighting with you all. I want to finally take back the world so that way we all could live freely. I'm so sorry that I was a Titan that masqueraded as a human." I inched a smidge closer to the edge.

"DON'T DO THIS!" Eren roared at me and I could hear Mikasa gasp, knowing Eren broke free. Upon instinct, I stepped off the wall.

My body was falling before my mind registered and I could hear Eren scream my name.

And everything went black.