I would just like to preface that the only reason this didn't get posted at like 3am is because Elijah by Matthew And The Atlas came on my shuffle play and it put me in just the right mood to finish this up at a reasonable time so, hell yeah.

His vision blurs for a half second before refocusing. His head touches the stairs above him before he realizes he's started to lean back. Blinking hard, Kuroko sits back up, shifting slightly to focus himself.

His mug of tea sits beside him, dangerously close to Aomine's foot. He's lucky it hasn't been kicked over yet, but all the same, he picks it up and takes a drink.

The exhaustion is starting to set in, Kuroko grips his mug tighter to keep from dropping it as he raises it to his lips. He'd figured that the ritual would be tiring, draining, but really now? He feels about as weak as an infant.

He settles the mug on the ground on the other side of him and takes a deep breath. It drags wet in his chest and he nearly chokes. In fixing Aomine's ribbons, he'd accepted Akashi's offer to join the scouting party, he can't get sick now. It must be the rain. Kuroko isn't known for his strong constitution, sitting out in the rain for as long as they did is a surefire way to lay him out.

Aomine and Kise are perfectly fine, chatting happily back and forth. Momoi's going to have a fit when she gets back to see the water they've tracked inside, but Kuroko's too tired to think about that.

"Tetsu? You don't look too good."

Kuroko squints toward Aomine, vision growing hazy once more, only this time it's not clearing up. His eyes fall half shut and he can't open them again. Oh, he's definitely sick, isn't he? Exhaustion and cold water, not a good combination for most, and Kuroko especially.

"Tired," he mumbles, blindly reaching for the wall to levy himself up. "The ritual- I need to sleep."

In an instant, he has Kise and Aomine at either side of him, lifting his arms around their shoulders. It would really only take one of them to carry him up, but they don't seem to be at each other's throats about who gets that particular honor.

They make it to Kuroko's room without issue, though he's barely awake. He ends up on his bed and the world loses its blue and gold tint as Aomine and Kise step away.

"We'll wait for Satsuki and let her know," Aomine says. His voice comes through but only barely, as if there's a wall between them. Kuroko doesn't even have the strength to speak so he tries to nod instead. He's not sure if he was successful, but he feels, what he assumes is, a blanket fall over his body.

Then he's alone.

Blood creeps up his throat, welling in his mouth before it spills past his parted lips. Strands of red connect him to the water's surface but he's too tired to wipe the blood away. It drains out of his nose, slicks his hands where they grip the edge of the basin, and stains his chest where it seeped past his nightshirt. The water has been red for a while now, and the harsh glow from the single marble hanging in the air only serves to make it appear more eerie than it is.

Kuroko coughs once, twice, three times, blood spraying across the surface of the water, causing it to ripple.

He fumbles for a vial, managing to tilt a single drop into the basin. The bloodied water glows bright blue for a half second as the potion takes effect. Kuroko blinks, and all that remains in the basin is fresh water.

The vial almost slips from his grasp as a shiver wracks his chest. He manages to set it on the small stand beside the raised basin, and returns his white knuckled grip to the edges. The strength it takes to stand is ridiculous, and he almost regrets not working out with Aomine and Kise on the training grounds all those years ago.

A shiver climbs up his spine, spreading to his chest until he fears the shaking is rattling his heart around his ribcage. Sweat beings to bead on his skin, he can feel it beginning to slide down his face.

Kuroko leans closer to the water, enough to partially submerge his face and draw some into his mouth. He stays like that a moment before pulling back and swishing the water around his mouth before spitting. Immediately, more blood creeps up his throat, staining his teeth. Keeping his head tilted, he dips one hand into the water and brings it to his face, wiping at the congealed and drying blood building up around his nose.

Eventually, the steady stream of blood stops, and once he's cleaned himself up, Kuroko pours one more drop from the vial into the basin to clean it, before he collapses to his knees.

At the noise, he reaches for Momoi's ribbons to soothe them, to keep her from waking.

He draws an unsteady breath, nearly choking on the blood remaining in his mouth.

It's only the second night since the ritual. The first night, he thought it a singular event, the result of the overexertion of his Empathic abilities, some kind of one-time toll for restoring Aomine's ribbons. He'd spent an hour steadily dripping blood into the washbasin, and an hour further cleaning any evidence. It had stopped. But then he kept bleeding the next morning. Not as much exclusively or consistently, but enough to be concerned. He kept his canteen with him at all times, swallowing his own blood and rinsing the red from his teeth. He didn't do much that first day, Momoi understood he was exhausted, so it was easier to hide.

But here he is again.

How foolish to think that he could find a solution without a cost.

This will pass, it has to. With both Aomine and Kise available to him, he should be able to do the same to the others. He'll start with Midorima, his ribbons have the least amount of uncertainties. Murasakibara's shocked him, and Akashi's are just a bundle of mystery right now. But it should work, if the ritual fixed Aomine, it can fix them too.

If he's coughing blood forever afterward, that's fine.

But it has to stop long enough for him to actually perform the damn thing, or what's the point?

So the others can't know, Momoi especially. If she finds out about this, she won't let him try, no matter how much she wants things to go back to normal.

He's seen Momoi get sick from using too much magic, she just had to rest for a week or so to get back to full strength.

Maybe this will function the same way.

Slowly, carefully, Kuroko picks himself up, opening his hand to catch the marble as it drops, and makes the trek across the hall to his room.

Sleep.

Just sleep.

Rest until the scout mission.

It'll be fine.

They don't have to know.

They don't have to-

It's difficult to see in the darkness. Or easier? The soft gray glow from subconsciously manifesting colors bears several spaces of absence. Gaps. Holes. Like his manifest is a patchwork that's begun unraveling.

He hurries into his room and throws the marble into the air. The light erupts and once Kuroko's eyes focus, he immediately pushes Momoi's ribbons away from him.

His manifest is streaked black, and as he fully takes notice, the gray is immediately overtaken.

Kuroko hits the ground.

"Tetsu, are you sure you're feeling better? You don't have to go if you're sick, they'll understand."

The workshop contains a heady buzz of magic, the high concentration actually warming the air around them. Momoi's forgone her heavy leather apron and social dress in favor of a work shift, her hair piled atop her head in a messy bun. Kuroko slips off his stool to dab her forehead with a cloth, drying the sweat that's starting to bead on her skin.

White and pink magic dance off her fingertips, unraveling the outdated and needlessly complicated protection spells she'd placed all those years ago on Kuroko's armor. The leather and metal ensemble is in pieces on various stands, even his surcoat hangs on a hastily strung up clothesline. Kuroko had dug them out of his chest and Momoi had immediately towed him into the workshop. Momoi's focus has always been potion mixing and match making, but her enchantments are fairly strong. She's improved quite a lot since Kuroko last wore this armor though, in both power and method.

Dismantling enchantments can be difficult, and the amount of magic that Momoi is generating is the reason behind the climbing temperature.

"I'm fine Momoi, I was just more exhausted than I thought."

"You were on the ground," she says, sparing a moment's focus to glance over at him before continuing to unravel her old enchantments.

"But I've been fine ever since,I've been resting, and it's not like I'll be fighting."

Momoi purses her lips before halting her magic. She stomps right over to him and puts his face between her hands, applying just enough pressure that Kuroko knows she means business.

"Don't you lie to me, Kuroko Tetsuya."

Her ribbons are still pink and silver, but they're streaked in worry. He hasn't let them touch him since he realized his grey turned black. He can still influence them, but he's restrained himself from doing so as much as usual. They don't seem to be adversely affected by the color change, Momoi hasn't acted any different since, her ribbons haven't changed.

Better safe than sorry.

Kuroko tastes blood at the back of his throat and holds his breath.

"I'm fine, Satsuki."

He keeps holding his breath as she stares into his soul, not wanting her to smell the blood.

After a few moments, she nods.

"Fine, but you're going to see Riko before you go, and no using your powers unless you absolutely have to."

"Deal."

It only takes a half hour more for Momoi to finish re-enchanting his armor, and she looks immensely pleased with herself when she's done, despite the fact that she's absolutely drenched in sweat.

"I'd let the enchantments sit for a little bit," she says, grimacing as she wipes her face. "I'm going to clean up."

Once Momoi's gone upstairs, Kuroko pulls a cloth from within his sleeve and coughs into it. Once. Twice. Three times.

It's not an alarming amount of blood, though Kuroko supposes that any amount of blood should alarming, it's just a light splatter. He presses the side of his index finger to his nostrils, but doesn't feel any blood there. He takes a sip from the cup of tea on the work table to clear his mouth of blood.

It's fine, it's going to be fine.

"Satsuki? Hey, Satsuki?"

Aomine's ribbons wind into the workshop and it almost hurts to push them away. Kuroko folds his cloth and tucks it back into his sleeve. He makes his way out of the workshop and into the main shop space.

"She's upstairs."

Aomine's in casual civilian clothes, without his sword, but he's got a pendant around his neck with the Miracle Knight insignia. Judging by the state of his ribbons, he's coming down off a training high.

"What do you need?" Kuroko asks.

"Came by to see how things were going, Akashi's orders, make sure you were still planning on tagging along."

"I haven't backed out, if that's what your asking."

That gets a laugh out of Aomine and he claps Kuroko on the shoulder hard enough that Kuroko nearly chokes trying to hold back his cough. Aomine doesn't seem to notice though.

"Why's it so hot in here?"

"Momoi was re-enchanting my armor."

"You planning on jumping in the fight with us?" Aomine asks with a grin, heading for Momoi's workshop.

"Safety precaution," Kuroko says, "you know how she is."

Aomine takes a few minutes inspecting Kuroko's armor, taking note of the dagger that's still strapped to his side. There's something humming in his ribbons, not quite curiosity or a kept secret, but he hasn't told Kuroko everything about why he's come.

Oh, he's missed being able to read Aomine like an open book.

Before he can say anything, Momoi comes back downstairs, smiling wide when she realizes that Aomine's over.

"Daiki, what are you doing here? I thought you guys aren't leaving for another few days."

Momoi gives him a big hug, straining as she tries to lift him. Aomine goes up on his tiptoes to appease her, rolling his eyes though there's a smile on his lips.

"Akashi's order, came to check in," he says. His ribbons flicker and one drifts toward Kuroko to rest on his head. "We're actually leaving earlier, tomorrow morning."

Shit.

"Tomorrow? Tetsu can't go then,"

What?" Kuroko and Aomine ask in unison. Momoi's ribbons flood with worry and she moves to stand beside Kuroko. With him sitting on the stool, they're about the same height, that doesn't stop Momoi from draping herself over him.

"He's still recovering from the ritual, he collapsed. I found him yesterday morning out cold on the floor of his room."

Like Momoi's, Aomine's ribbons are suddenly saturated in worry.

"I'm fine, Momoi, I feel much better."

"I can let Akashi know that you're sick-"

"I'm not."

He's not. He can't afford to be. He hasn't blacked out since, and just because his manifestation has shifted doesn't mean he can't do anything. He's not going to be fighting, he's not losing enough blood to get dizzy or sluggish, so it's fine. There may be merit to Kise's plan so being there if there's a fight might help.

What else is he going to do?

He has to go.

"You're sure about this?"

Momoi tightens tightens the leather armor while Kuroko laces his bracers. He can feel Momoi's magic seeping through his clothes to his skin. It's a warm blanket and Kuroko almost forgets about the pain that ignited in his chest just last night.

"I am."

His pack is made up, stuffed full of dark handkerchiefs and a few spare vials of Momoi's cleaning potion. They usually use it for water purification, but Kuroko's figured a way to use it that gets blood out of cloth. He sorely regrets not figuring it out sooner, he's lost three shirts since the ritual, stained from nightly nosebleeds. He has a few of Momoi's charms as well, to put her at ease, in addition to his Empath book. He's packed before, the movements mechanic, all the usual things, not that they carry a whole lot with them.

Kuroko especially.

Momoi moves to stand in front of him, batting his hands out of the way to she can lace the bracers herself.

"Just, I hope you're not doing this because of how much I've pressed. I know you're not sleeping, I've never seen you look so exhausted."

True, Momoi is part of the reason he's so desperate to fix things. But there's more to it than that. Ever since he got Kise's ribbons back, he's been scared to death to go back to the void. He never wants to feel like that again. And now that he has Aomine's too, some part of him is clawing and screaming to get the others back.

He needs to do this, needs to more than he needs air at this point. He'll take whatever consequences come with it. The blood? Fine, he'll tell Momoi after he gets Midorima, Murasakibara, and Akashi back, then they can go to Riko and figure it out. The chest pains that started? Same thing. If performing the ritual again wrecks him further, he'll take it.

He just wants his friends back.

"It's for me too," he says at last. "I want things to go back to how they were, and I can do that now, where I couldn't before."

"And the exhaustion?"

"Just haven't been sleeping well, it's nothing to worry about."

Momoi finishes lacing his bracers and steps away to retrieve his cloak. His surcoat is for formal occasions and he has no intent of drawing more attention to himself than necessary by wearing it. The cloak, on the other hand, has a few enchantments that make extended travel not so terrible, with the added benefit of making the wear difficult to locate. It has no insignia, just a small, pink, stitched 'M' inside the hood.

"I know I'm worrying too much, but I started thinking about the last time you all went on a mission. You came back and-"

"It won't be like that."

He has to say it, more for himself because if he doesn't, if he allows himself to entertain that possibility? He just can't. He can't afford that.

Momoi settles the cloak around his shoulders and fastens it in place. She stays where she is, standing in front of him before pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

"Momoi?"

"Bring our boys back, okay?"

"Of course."

She settles a chain with the Miracle Knight insignia on it over his head, adjusting it until it hangs around his neck, the insignia resting half way down his chest. With a kiss pressed into his hair, she sends him off.

It's fairly early as he makes his way to the castle, still somewhat dark out. He waits until he's in the empty stretch between the shop and the city where he's sure he's alone to check his manifest.

Still black.

He'd checked every night since the first. He could change colors but it would always revert to black. It shouldn't affect the ritual, he hopes not anyhow

It's going to be fine.

As he walks, he remembers.

When he first came to this city, he'd stayed at an inn. He met Momoi by chance, stumbled upon her in the woods while she was practicing spells. They got on pretty fast, they'd meet in the woods, Momoi would talk about magic, Kuroko would listen. Her ribbons were nice, they still are, but they were a comfort back then. He told her he was Empath, and it was only because he saw how distraught her ribbons were that he didn't get mad when he found out she told Akashi.

Meeting the Baron was the most frightening experience of his life at the time. Akashi was imposing, he had an air of authority that absolutely commanded attention and respect. Imagine Kuroko's respect when that same regal figure offered him a job.

Those early days were probably the nicest, while they were still figuring out how to work together, before they went on missions.

The day the sync got set in stone was probably the best he's ever felt. He can still feel their anchor points sometimes, and the strangeness of being untethered was only outweighed by the void when he lost them.

He doesn't think they'll sync again, he's not sure if he wants that anymore. But just being able to hold their ribbons, that would be enough.

Kuroko makes it to the castle before the sun rises, flashing his insignia to the guards standing watch at the gate. They let him in without a word and he makes his way to the stables where the others are no doubt finishing preparations. He takes a sip from his canteen, swishing the water around before spitting it out in the grass. He takes another drink, swallows down the blood, and takes a deep breath.

Have I put Kuroko through enough? No, and no further explanation on that.

I would like to apologize for the wait, I rewrote this chapter several times but I finally worked out this version and it works for the end vision I have of this story, so yeah.

Please let me know what you think!