I am borrowing JE's characters for this story, they are not mine.

Special thanks to Jenn (perfectmanhattan) for her masterful Beta skills. You are making this story so much more fun to write.

Chapter 14 – Trials

"Good morning, Angel," Cal said as he brushed the hair away from my neck to run light kisses up and down.

"Five more minutes," I pleaded.

"Five more minutes of what?" He asked kissing me more. "Of this?" He teased, moving up to plant a trail of kisses up to my ear. "Or this?" He asked, rolling me over to gain access to more of my neck.

"Yes," I said, as I let out a sigh, making Cal laugh at my attempt to answer.

"Yes to which one?" He pressed for me to clarify.

"All of them," I said smiling and beginning my morning stretching ritual. "You have to be the best alarm clock ever."

"You should see what happens if you try to hit my snooze," He said working his magic lips around the neck of the t-shirt I was wearing.

My eyes shot open, but Cal saw the change of my expression and began to pull away. "Come on Angel, we still have time to get in the gym."

Reluctantly, I took his offered hand and got up. I put on an outfit that was similar to yesterday's: a sports bra, tank top, and low waisted tight shorts. I pulled my hair back into a messy pony tail.

When we got to the gym, Cal gave me a soft lingering kiss at the door and then walked away to lift weights with the guys in the weight room.

I stood in front of the Stairmaster, the machine I considered my nemesis, but today I felt antsy, like I wanted to fight with something and the Stairmaster was going to have to be my opponent. I got on and began to pant nearly instantly, but I refused to give up.

After five minutes I was hot and the tank top was getting on my nerves because it wouldn't stay put. Vince came over to the treadmill behind me and said hello.

I stepped off, tired of fighting with my shirt and pulled it off dropping it on the floor beside me before climbing back on to exercise. When I began to climb again I heard a terrible commotion behind me and turned around to see Vince on the floor.

I jumped down and ran over to him, "Vince are you okay? What happened?"

Vince shook his head and looked nervous when he asked, "Steph, when did you get a tattoo?"

Beginning to realize what happened, I couldn't help but smile. "I got it after dinner at Shorty's. Why?"

He seemed to be in a daze so he stumbled through his response without thinking, "I had no idea...when you took off your shirt...damn it looks good….oh shit...Steph!" No sooner had he said it than he realized I was listening. He jumped up and mumbled out an, "I'm sorry Steph," and literally ran out of the gym.

Cal saw our interaction and came over to see what happened. I told him what Vince said and listened as he laughed out loud. He put a kiss on my head and said, "I told you it was sexy as hell. Now you're making the guys fall off their treadmills."

I watched as he went back to the weight room and within minutes there was a tremendous outpouring of laughter coming from the rest of the guys as Cal told them what happened. I enjoyed the rest of my workout and chuckled as the guys tried to get a peek of my phoenix. They tried to be subtle as they walked by or jogged behind me for five minutes or less and stared at my back.

Usually this type of attention made me uncomfortable, but today it was funny and made me feel appreciated. I guess I had my answer of whether I needed to keep my back covered to prevent people from seeing my scar.

I used my new found confidence to pick out my outfit for the day. I put on a new pair of low cut jeans that Ella had picked up for me in a smaller size. I paired it with a sleeveless shirt that fell just at the waist causing glimpses of my back and stomach to appear every time I moved. I pulled on some black boots with four inch heels and smiled at my reflection in the mirror.

Cal stopped by my cubicle after I'd been working for an hour. "Hey Angel, I have to say I love the new attitude. If I'd known it would have done this for you, I would have taken you to see Ink weeks ago."

I spun around in my chair and countered, "Hmm, and I thought you loved me just the way I was."

All hint of joking left his face and he dropped to a knee in front of my rolling my chair to get me closer to him. He put a hand behind my neck and pulled my face to his before growling, "You know I love you just the way you are, but I have to warn you that the way you are right now is making it very difficult for me to concentrate."

He was leaning in the last two inches to kiss me when Lester walked by, "Damn man," he said smacking Cal on the back of the head. "We all love the tattoo, but you need to let the girl get a little work done."

I had to settle for a quick peck on the lips before Cal jumped up. "I've got a skip to round up, but I should be back before dinner. You want to eat together in my apartment?"

"Sure," I replied eager for more time alone with the muscular man in front of me.

He slipped a key in my hand. "I'll teach you how to pick a lock later, but for now, just let yourself in whenever you're done for the day."

He stood up to leave, but turned back to say, "And Steph, go ahead and bring over your gym clothes. We may have a slow start to the day tomorrow."

I blushed at the suggestion he was making but called back to him as he had begun to walk away. "Hey Cal," I waited for him to turn around before adding, "Be careful. I love you today and always."

I got a sexy wink before he added, "You too," and walked out.

I got back to work until my phone rang. I paused, concerned about answering it but decided I could always hang up if I didn't want to talk to the caller. "Hello,"

"Stephanie, It's Hanson."

"Hey, What's happening?" I asked glad to hear a friendly voice.

"I just finished the deposition with Morelli. The stuff you added to my list worked perfectly. At the end Joe jumped up screaming at the DA that we didn't understand how hard his life was, and if we would leave the two of you alone he thought you could work things out."

"How did Jefferson take it?" I asked.

"He asked the DA to stick around after I left. I think he wants to discuss plea options." Hanson was thrilled with the news he was delivering.

"If the DA agreed to a deal, would it mean jail time for Morelli?" I wondered.

"I can't say for sure, but after we just made him snap at will, it would be hard to pass up bringing this in front of a jury to get a conviction. I don't think the DA's thrilled with the idea of trying a cop in his home town. I'm going to wait here and I'll let you know what he says when comes out." Hanson promised. "If the plea doesn't happen, we go to trial tomorrow with jury selections."

"Alright, thanks for bringing me up to speed." I said before we hung up.

It was early for dinner, but I was done with work. The idea of Joe going to jail without me having to go through a trial was exciting. I might be able to live freely again soon. I decided to quit and go down to pack up a few things before slipping into Cal's apartment. While I was packing I tried to prepare myself for the possibility that tomorrow the trial would begin. I knew my presence wouldn't matter, but I wanted to be there. I sent a text to Tank telling him to let me know what security measures would be necessary for me to go to the courthouse in the morning.

By the time I finished wondering what would happen tomorrow, I had a bag packed and walked over to Cal's, letting myself in with a smile. My cell rang as soon as I shut the door. "Steph, we're going to trial," Hanson's voice told me after I said hello.

I was a bit disappointed. "What happened to the plea?" I asked.

"Jefferson told the DA that Morelli would plea to a lesser charge with probation only. The DA is insisting upon jail time so they turned it down. But don't be too disappointed. Often before a plea can be reached the sides have to go back and forth. We'll start with jury selection in the morning and see what happens from there." Hanson explained.

"I want to be there in the morning, I've already told Tank," I said.

There was silence for a few moments before he said, "I'd love to see you sitting in the courtroom behind me. It won't be exciting, but you're always welcome to come see how I fight."

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Any instructions?"

"Don't fall asleep," Hanson said with a laugh. "And bring a big dose of 'no doze' for your attorney too."

I laughed before hanging up. I stood in the kitchen with a smile on my face at the memory of Cal referring to me as his own personal no doze. It seemed like it was so long ago that he woke me up one night just to talk. I still can't believe that I had no idea who the caring man was on the other end of the line. Cal opened the door and entered in time to see me sporting my grin over the memory.

He dropped his bag, but I could see he was still fully armed. I was surprised as he took the steps to close the distance between us. "God, I've missed you," He said before kissing me in a way that made sure the silly expression didn't reappear.

When he pulled back we stood there with our foreheads touching, trying to slow our breathing. "Tell me," He prompted.

I sat on the bed and told him everything Hanson had shared while Cal pulled off his vest, guns and knives to lock them in his safe.

"So it looks like we're going to the courthouse in the morning?" Cal summed up.

"I am, but you don't need to drop everything you're doing to sit through a day like this. I already told Tank I was going so he can just assign whoever is free to take me. I'll be fine." I told him.

"Not a chance, Angel. There is no way you are going to the courthouse full of Morelli's family and friends without me beside you. Besides, if I had to guess I would say Tank has already assigned me to the detail anyway. He knows I'd love nothing more than to have another chance to punch Joe." Cal said with a wicked gleam in his eye.

I had trouble sleeping during the night. Every time I drifted off, some picture of Joe in my apartment would resurface and wake me up. The last time was the worst. I was waiting for popcorn to cook in the microwave and suddenly felt fists punching me from behind. I could hear the sound of the corn popping in time with the blows from Joe. I bolted up in bed screaming.

Cal was right beside me and pulled me back down and into his arms. He soothed me and promised that I was going to be alright. I knew I was disrupting his sleep too and I was frustrated that after going for a few weeks with no nightmares that they would suddenly start again, especially ones that were as graphic as these were.

As if he could read my mind Cal said, "Angel, the dreams are coming back like this because you're worried and anxious about the trial beginning tomorrow. You aren't going to have these dreams forever. You're just worried about what to expect in front of a courtroom full of people. You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here, and I'm not leaving your side."

I allowed myself to be soothed and laid in Cal's arms until the clock turned to 4:30. I couldn't stand sitting still any longer so I carefully extracted myself from his grip and began getting dressed for the gym. I learned pretty quickly after coming to stay at Haywood that a little early morning exercise would keep me awake through the morning and the flush it brought to my face kept people from noticing the bags under my eyes as much. If I was going to try and fool a courtroom full of people I needed all the exercise I could get.

I was lacing up my sneakers when the bedroom door opened and a gorgeous Cal stepped out running his fingers through his disheveled hair wearing nothing but a low hanging pair of boxers. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked through his yawn.

"I couldn't stay asleep so I thought I'd get a head start in the gym." I admitted, sorry that I'd woken him up too.

"You didn't wake me," He stated as though he understood the guilt on my face. "I'll see you up there in a few minutes."

I went to the gym alone and hopped back on the Stairmaster. I was breathing hard and sweating by the time Cal came in and jumped on a treadmill. I was still going strong when he finished his run causing him to come over to my machine and turn it off.

I looked at him questioningly wondering why he did that.

"You're going to be sore tomorrow from all that. You've been on this for more than thirty minutes," He informed me.

While I was sure he was right about me being sore, I also felt a certain sense of triumph too. I had beaten the machine that most taunted me in the gym. I had finally gotten out a bit of that need to fight and felt like I could relax a little. I spent the last fifteen minutes working on some of the weight machines with Cal concentrating on my upper body. All the time on the bike had done wonders for my legs and lower body. When we were finished, I was exhausted and ready for a long hot shower.

After I was clean I stood in front of my closet in panties and a bra trying to decide what to wear. I had rejected pretty much everything in my closet for one reason or another. I was near the back digging through the tangle of hangers when I heard my door open and Cal announce himself.

"I'm in here," I called out from the back of the closet still wrestling with the clothes shoved in there. Cal came in talking about what to expect at the courthouse when he stopped in mid sentence.

I walked out to see what interrupted his thought and he was standing there starring at me with his mouth hanging open.

"Cal?" I said uncertain of what was wrong.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" He asked drinking in the sight of me nearly naked in front of him.

It hit me that I was only in my underwear so I turned around and decided to just pick up the first pants suit I came to, but Cal's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Shit Stephanie, if we didn't have to be at the courthouse in less than an hour I don't think I'd be able to let you leave here today. I'm trying to go slow and give you all the time you need to heal, but when I see you like this I don't think I have the strength to stop myself much longer."

I knew what he was saying. At first it was a comfort that he didn't seem to be pressing the physical side of our relationship, but the past couple of days I had been filed with images of things I wanted to do to him and more importantly, things I wished he would do to me. I wanted to see those angel wings again and run my tongue over them. I wanted to feel his hands on me, possessing me as his. I realized too that thinking this way meant I now needed a clean pair of panties before getting dressed.

I turned around to put my arms around his neck and told him, "I appreciate the space you've given me and how you've supported me through all the crap I've been going through. But you need to know that I feel the same way you do and I don't know much longer I can wait to be with you completely. My heart is yours and my body wants to be yours too."

He accepted my words by claiming my mouth. When our tongues met my leg lifted up and wrapped around his hip of its own accord. Cal grabbed the other one and held me up against him supported by his hands under my thighs. I shamelessly wrapped myself completely around him trying to eliminate any space between us and getting aggravated at how many layers of clothes he seemed to have on.

Cal walked us into the closet before setting me down, much to my great disappointment. "I'll be in the den while you get dressed. I'll be beside you all day, and tonight…" He paused to take a deep breath, "Tonight I'll be inside you all night long." He promised.

My knees felt weak so I grabbed the closet's doorframe to steady myself as he walked away. Now I regretted not trying to get more sleep, something told me it was going to be a very long night.

I ended up in a navy blue pants suit with a cream colored blouse underneath. It was conservative, but fitted enough that it showed off my figure. I put on some matching three inch heels, fluffed my hair, which was falling nicely around my face and then began the debate of just how many layers of mascara would be necessary to get through the day. Realizing I still needed to be able to see through the thickened lashes, I went with four coats and then walked out before I changed my mind and threw on some more.

Cal saw me come in the den and announced I was perfect. Then he walked around me trailing his hand and looking at me closely. "You still aren't ready."

"What's missing?" I asked a little worried about what I could have forgotten.

"I don't see your gun," He told me.

"Ah, that's because I don't have one on me," I informed him.

"Steph, you could tuck one in the waist of your pants," He began before I jumped in to interrupt.

"No, I couldn't. This suit is too fitted for any holsters or weapons to be slipped in. Besides, I am going to a secured courthouse full of cops and with you who I can see is armed in every way imaginable so I don't need one." I told him.

"I'd feel better if you at least considered an ankle holster," He suggested bending down as though he were going to give me his.

"No," I said with certainty in my voice. "No guns on me. I'm nervous enough as it is, but the thought of me accidentally causing a gun to go off in a crowded building is too much pressure. I can't do it."

Seeing my point he conceded and held out his hand for us to leave.

At the courthouse I was about to go through the security gate with the metal detectors and screening personnel, but Cal shook his head no and guided me to a side door. The guard there recognized Cal and let us in. Well, that certainly answered the question about how the Merry Men never had to surrender their weapons.

Hanson was waiting outside Courtroom B and smiled when he saw us approach. "Are you ready to fight for consciousness over the next few hours?" He asked.

"I brought my own personal no-doze," I repeated from our conversation last night while glancing up at Cal who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Hanson sat at the table in the front of the courtroom beside the DA. He instructed me to sit directly behind him and then gave me one of his trademark legal pads with a metal pen.

I raised both my eyebrows at the pen and he grinned before explaining, "I was told it was made from steel and wouldn't break no mater how tightly it was gripped. I thought we should give it a try."

True to his word, the next three hours were some of the dullest of my life. Apparently, it was next to impossible to find jurors who had no knowledge of Joe or my exploits as the Bombshell Bounty Hunter. The thirty-eighth potential juror was called. He was a middle aged man, average in every way, but the way he kept glancing at me set of every alarm in my head. He gave all the correct answers to the questions and I knew the defense was going to accept him. I wrote a note and passed it to Hanson. He looked at it and did a RangeMan patented single eyebrow raise, but handed it to the DA.

When it was their turn to question the candidate the DA stood and asked if he had any relatives that had ever been bonded out. The potential juror looked at me first and then shook his head yes. The DA asked if they made their court date or if they had to be apprehended by a Bond Enforcement Agent. He hung his head and said they were hauled in, even though they were innocent. He then went on a brief tirade about how BEAs were just thugs who abused power for money not caring if people had actually committed crimes or not. While I found his speech really offensive I was glad he gave it. The DA requested he be dismissed and I had one less biased person on the jury.

There was a short recess, which Hanson referred to as the judge's pit stop. Just as the proceedings were about to reconvene, I heard an influx in noise at the back of the room. I turned around to see Joe walk in with his cousin Anthony to his right. They walked up to the front and sat behind his attorneys directly across the isle from me.

At that moment I was thankful the pen Hanson gave me was steel or it would have shattered into tiny pieces from my tightened grip. I had felt many things about Joe over the past weeks, but seeing him waltz in the courtroom as though he owned the place exuding confidence hooked my anger and I wanted to scream at him and slap the smirk off his face.

Sensing the change in my mood Cal leaned over and whispered, "Easy Steph, I'm right here. He's not getting through me."

Cal was in full bodyguard mode and in order to keep things professional, we knew that there could be no personal interactions between us. We had to make sure that we didn't give Mr. Jefferson any ammunition to use on me when I was on the witness stand. I understood this, but at the moment I really needed to feel his arms around me.

When the judge returned and Mr. Jefferson stood up focusing his attention on the next candidate, Cal reached over and gave my hand a squeeze allowing his fingers to linger and gently stroke the skin there. I let out a tense breath and felt myself relax under his touch. Just as Mr. Jefferson finished his questions, Cal took his hand back. I met his eyes and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

Cal whispered, "Today and always," back to me and I was filled with the courage and warmth I needed to survive the next few hours.

At 12:30 the judge announced us at recess until 2:00 when the remainder of the jury was to be selected.

Hanson suggested we go to a little deli on the corner. He told Cal there were only a few booths along one side which I thought was a strange detail to share about a restaurant, but when I saw it, I realized he was telling him that it wouldn't hold many people and it would be easy to watch over me there.

I had no appetite but knew I needed to eat something. When the waitress came to take my order I drew a complete blank. Cal spoke up and asked her if it was possible to get some peanut butter on two slices of white bread with fries. She looked at him as though he was crazy ordering something like that for me, so I nodded that it was okay and she scurried off to put in my special order.

I managed to get half the sandwich eaten while Cal and Hanson each dove into their burgers. This was just another day to them and I tried to treat it as such too, but I knew I was still being quiet.

Hanson asked if I was sure I wanted to go back in after lunch. "It will just be more of the same, and if Joe is going to be there too you don't need to put yourself through that."

Cal seemed to agree, but said nothing, leaving the decision completely up to me.

"No, I've started this and I'm determined to see it through." I told him stiffening my resolve.

Cal and Hanson did a little silent communication before Hanson said, "Then let's go in before the good seats are taken."

I appreciated his attempt at humor and followed him onto the sidewalk for the three block walk back to the courthouse. The three of us detoured to the side entrance causing me to wonder if Hanson was armed too. Cal saw the look on my face and told me, "He was a well known fighter pilot who works almost exclusively for RangeMan, I'm betting a knife on his belt, a gun at his ankle and from the way he carries himself one at the back of his waist too."

We were nearly at the door when I heard someone say my name. The voice was familiar but I turned around out of habit and saw Anthony Morelli walking to me. Cal instantly pushed me behind him and Hanson stepped beside Cal blocking me completely.

Seeing that he wasn't going to get past them he spoke loudly so that I could hear him, "Stephanie, Joe just wants to talk to you. He wants to apologize. If you would hear him out I think he might be open to taking a plea and serving some jail time if that's what you're after, but he wants to talk to you one-on-one first."

Hanson spoke up, "You can tell your cousin that Ms. Plum isn't interested in speaking to him alone. If he wishes to apologize to ease his conscience then he can write her a letter or do it in the courtroom, but he needs to let her go."

Anthony backed up, putting his hands in the air slightly, "Alright man, I'm just the messenger here."

He turned and began to jog away which I thought was strange. He knew we wouldn't hurt him but he seemed to be afraid there was danger close by. That's when it hit me that Joe was just using Anthony as a distraction. From the corner of my eye I saw a flash of movement and I reached out to Cal and Hanson with my hands. Feeling my touch, both men turned and saw Joe approaching.

Joe was walking steady making me think he was sober, but his eyes were hard which scared me. It was further proof that the man I once knew was gone forever. If getting the booze out his system didn't bring back the caring man from our time together then I feared he was indeed lost.

Cal's hand was on the gun at his waist and Hanson unbuttoned his suit jacket. Apparently Cal was right about the location of Hanson's piece.

Joe was talking to me but his eyes were on Cal. "Cupcake, I just want to talk to you. If you would call off your goons then we can have a moment in peace and I'll leave you alone."

I didn't have a chance to respond before Cal spoke, "That's not going to happen Morelli. You need to give this up before more charges get added to your file."

"This doesn't concern you," Joe snarled at Cal.

I could see the vein begin to bulge at the side of Joe's neck and I knew he was just one hand gesture away from full blown rage.

I wanted to defuse the situation so I pushed myself between Cal and Hanson and said, "Joe, anything you want to say to me you will need to say right here. I'm not going anywhere alone with you ever again."

Cal stepped in front of me again partially blocking Joe's view of my face but keeping me shielded with his own body. That single act was all it took to set Joe off. I expected him to yell and scream, but what he did caught us all off guard.

Joe reached behind him pulling a gun from his waist and firing at Cal. Cal had reached for his own gun at the same time, but was only fractionally slower in drawing his weapon. Immediately after getting one round off, he shot Hanson in the shoulder preventing him from getting his gun from his waist and knocking him down. I saw Cal hit the pavement and panicked, screaming his name.

Seeing me fall beside Cal infuriated Joe so that he raised his gun at me. I never thought I'd see the day that Joe would break the law like this. I was frozen until Joe began to smile slightly and shift his gun from me back to Cal. That was all it took to motivate me. Cal had dropped his Glock when his head hit the pavement, knocking him out. It was only inches from my hand, easily within my reach.

Joe stepped closer as a few cops began to come out from the sound of gunshots and formed a barrier preventing Joe's escape from the side street where we were.

"So, Cupcake, are you screwing this creep now? Did you leave my bed for him or for the whole lot of them over at Manoso's place? You know when your Ranger gets back he isn't going to want the second's of his men either and then what will you do?" Joe took a few more steps closing the distance between us. "How about I make it easy for you and get rid of this one so you don't have to explain to Manoso why he's been hanging all over you lately?"

I knew Joe was going to shoot Cal again at point blank range. I looked down to see if I could still get to the gun with Joe so close but he grabbed my hair with his left hand, jerking my head up demanding that I look at him when was talking to me.

"Say goodbye," He commanded.

I lunged forward pulling Joe from his steady stance because of his grip on my hair. I caught him off guard just enough to get to Cal's gun, aim it in Joe's general direction and open fire first.

Joe hit the ground immediately and the dozen officers that had been just standing there suddenly rushed forward to knock Joe's gun away and call for paramedics.

I fell on top of Cal just as he began to come to. I looked him over but couldn't see any blood despite knowing he had been shot. Cal saw my face and tried to get up to comfort me but his hand went to his chest as he slowly sat up.

That's when it hit me that part of getting dressed for any RangeMan employee included strapping on their Kevlar vest. Cal pulled me to him, grunting when I fell against his chest.

I moved back rambling, "Oh my God, Cal, are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

He pulled me back gently, "Angel, it's alright. The bullet didn't pierce the vest; I'll just be a little sore for a few days. I need to feel you more than I need you to worry about hurting me. What happened? Did Hanson get Morelli?" He asked looking at the scene in front of us.

Hanson came closer to us with a crude dressing on his bleeding shoulder to answer his question. "Nope, I never got a shot off; it was Stephanie that saved your life, man."

Cal's face turned to me painted with an emotion I didn't recognize. It seemed to be pride in what I had done, and concern that I'd had to shoot someone on his behalf.

"Did you grab your gun after our conversation this morning?" He asked trying to piece together what Hanson said.

"No," I told him smiling. "I told you I didn't need one with all the weapons you had strapped on you and I was right. I used your Glock."

Eddie came over and told me he needed to take my statement but gave me the option of doing it now, or coming down to the station later to do it. I just wanted the whole nightmare to be over so I stayed on the pavement leaning against Cal who had stripped off his shirt and removed his vest so the paramedic could get a look at the already forming bruise on his sculpted chest.

Eddie gave me a hug when he was done and promised to let us know what happened to Joe. He said I got him directly in the chest and the paramedics were working on him, but it didn't look good.

Hanson asked how the police would be viewing the shooting, but Eddie assured him with a dozen cops as witnesses, it was self defense and defense of third party open and shut. There would be no further investigation.

Hanson seemed pleased with that response, and I was just relieved.

We were told we were free to go, and Hanson agreed to go with the EMT's at the scene to get treatment on his shoulder so Cal and I walked to his truck to head back to Haywood.

I was silent on the ride home and Cal didn't press me to talk. I had shot people before, and given the choice I would have done this again, but it was still a hard pill to swallow to think that I might have killed Joe.

When Cal turned off the engine in the garage he turned to me and asked, "Are you ready to go up?"

I nodded, afraid if I spoke I would begin to cry.

Cal came around and put his hands on my waist as I slid out of the cab to the ground. He pulled me tightly to his chest and held me there.

I knew he wanted to know if I was okay, and I wished I could say I was, but the numbness that had surrounded me at the scene had worn off and I hardly knew which emotion to feel first. But at this moment in his arms I recognized the fact that I felt safe. And, safe was something I would never again take for granted.