Melee Academy of Higher Learning for Boys
Year Two
-Fourteen-
"Older me, wake up." Young Link, who was normally not up at six twelve in the morning, decided that now was the time Link was to wake up.
Link did nothing except grunt in annoyance at being disturbed and turned over, pulling the sheets over his head.
"Oi! Wake up!" To show how serious he was, Young Link took his pillow and chucked it at Link's head, hitting his mark with amazing accuracy.
Link bolted up from his bed, the sheets and blankets going every which way. His eyes were half-lidded, bogged down with sleep, as his head slowly turned to look at his younger half.
"What is the meaning of this?" Link asked, though it sounded more slurred than anything else. "It's Saturday, let me sleep."
Young Link merely blinked, as if Link's behaviour didn't faze him, which, in all truthfullness, it didn't. Link was like this every morning.
"Yeah, it is Saturday," Young Link replied, "but you've still got exams." He was already throwing Link's school articles onto his bed, while Link tried to remember what planet he was on.
Not too far from Link's room, the situation was quite the opposite. How Young Link wished Link could be like Marth and Roy and just get his butt up when the time came to. Young Link sighed. Soon, summer would come, and they could sleep as long as they felt like it. Which, for Link, was almost all day.
-x-
"Maaaarth! Stop hogging the bathroom, I have to shower!" Roy crossed his arms, towel slung over his shoulders as he glared at the closed door of the bathroom.
Marth poked his head out of the facilities, his hair slightly damp, as if he was going to enter the shower but was interrupted at the last second.
"If you want to shower so bad," Marth said, strategically placing the door so that nothing of interest was in view, "you're welcome to join me."
Roy didn't miss the coy smile Marth flashed, or how he left the door slightly ajar. What showering with his boyfriend would lead to, he didn't know. But he was willing to find out as he opened the door the rest of the way, and closed it behind him with a small click.
"That's a nice view," Roy teased, dropping his towel by the tub, a stark contrast to Marth's folded towel placed neatly on the laundry hamper by the sink.
Marth flushed and closed the shower curtain even more as Roy disrobed, leaving his clothes where they fell. Roy didn't know why he felt so eager to shower with Marth, but he did. Pulling the curtain open once again, he almost slipped as Marth grabbed him by the wrists, threw him against the shower wall, and kissed him so fiercely that Roy knew immediately what showering with Marth would lead to.
"Why Marth, I'm surprised you would even consider shower sex," Roy teased once more as Marth nipped at his neck. "It's so unconventional and--oh, Marth, I didn't know you liked it rough."
Marth grinned as he captured Roy's lips once more.
"I'm tired of being conventional," Marth replied, his words muffled by Roy's mouth. "What's the point of being in a relationship when we can't explore--Was your tongue just in my mouth?"
Roy smirked and flipped Marth over so that Marth was against the wall, and he was on top.
"Yes," Roy said in such an innocent voice. "I'm sure you won't mind it being there again..."
Once again, they were both speechless as Roy initiated a kiss so passionate, so deep, that Marth couldn't even stand up any more, and Roy came crashing down on top of him.
Roy couldn't believe just how much hotter Marth was when he was covered in water.
-x-
"Okay," Link said, looking at his exam schedule, a whole piece of buttered toast hanging precariously from his mouth, "lesse 'ere... Se'enth an' fi'th 'eriods. Crap."
Zelda took the toast out of Link's mouth and placed it on the plate in front of him. "Don't talk with your mouth full, Link, it's not polite."
Link sighed as he jammed the practically-in-shambles sheet of paper into his back pocket. "Din-awful Gym exam... They'll probably make us do something stupid, like play basketball when we're supposed to be doing weight room or something."
Roy swung around the banister of the stairs and into the kitchen, looking happier than one really should during Exam Week. Link ripped off a piece of toast with his fingers and munched on it, trying to remember everything they learned in Gym since the second semester started - something that was difficult because Link didn't really care much for the subject.
"Roy," Link said as he ripped off another piece of toast, "what'd we learn in PE this semester?"
Roy was by the coffee machine, adding another scoop of pre-ground coffee into the maker.
"Archery," Roy answered, closing the coffee tin and the lid of the maker. "Uh... We did volleyball, too, didn't we?"
Link sighed once again. "This is hopeless. I'm going to end up being held back. Again. All because of stupid History and PE!"
Roy drummed his fingers against the granite countertop as he waited for the coffee to be done. Master Hand had ordered one of those "express" coffee makers, which were allegedly said to make coffee in under five minutes under ideal room temperatures and whether it was raining or sunny out. Many protested that such a coffee maker was unnecessary since a normal one took about ten or so minutes, but Bowser, who was very impatient, said it was a great idea. Roy didn't think it worked any faster, but he lived with it.
"Isn't the coffee s'pposed to be done by now?" Link asked, finishing off his toast, and was thus nearly incoherent.
Roy looked at his watch. Only three minutes had gone by. Either time was moving slower than usual, or Roy was just unusually impatient this morning.
"Give it a minute or two," Zelda said, smacking Link over the head with the newspaper in a friendly-sort of way.
"Since when didja drink coffee, anyway?" Link asked before taking a swig of Mountain-Coke-Dew, Link's alleged experiment he created one New Year's Eve.
"Isn't that stuff kind of gross?" Zelda asked, going about her morning routine, which was to feed Pichu, even though Pikachu was supposed to be the one to do it.
"You dunno what you're missing, Zellie," Link replied. "So answer me, Roy: since when did you drink coffee?"
Roy, who was thinking about the events that happened that morning with Marth - how they had wrestled on the floor of the shower, which led to other, more sexual things, how Roy nipped at Marth's neck as he neared the wondrous throes of ecstasy -, was suddenly pulled out of his reverie by the coffee maker making a sort of scraping noise.
"Since exam week started," Roy answered, pouring the piping hot beverage into his mug. "Cramming isn't fun."
Link, who knew Roy was definitely not studying for exams at night, merely gave him an "I don't believe you" look and took another gulp of his soda experiment.
"What's there to study for? It's only PE. I'm dreading our Bio exam."
"Again with the Biology examination?" Marth, who had been leaning in the doorway for the past five minutes, shook his head in a pitiful sort of way.
Link stood up to take his dish to the sink, nearly threw it out the window when he saw the pile of plates and pans in the aforementioned sink, and somehow nearly stabbed himself with a butterknife.
"Bio isn't my best subject," Link confessed, grabbing his bag from the back of his chair. "I'm not a very...scientific person."
"Nothing is your best subject," Marth replied, his tone flat as he watched Link mill about the kitchen. "You just don't try hard enough."
"Yeah, well, in a subject that says sentient hands aren't possible, and yet Master and Crazy Hand both exist... The mind, she be boggled."
Roy sipped his coffee and said nothing. Link had a point.
"What're you all dressed up for?" Link asked then, pointing a finger at Marth's being in such formal wear.
"Job interview," Roy answered before Marth could say anything. "At a lin--"
"Don't," Marth interrupted. "Before I die of embarrassment."
"Oh please, you've seen underwear before."
"Yes, but I don't think your boxers have lace trim all over them," Marth retorted. Link snorted Mountain-Coke-Dew up his nose by accident.
"I always thought Roy was more of a tighty-whitey kind of guy."
Roy grabbed one of the available thermoses, poured his cup of coffee - plus more - into it, sealed it, and threw it in his bag on the counter.
"Come on, Link, let's go. I'm sure you have to brush up on a few things." Roy dragged his bag off of the counter and slung the strap over his shoulder, ready to go.
Link muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "I hope our gym teacher burns in Hell for this exam." But then he remembered that one Samus Aran was their gym teacher, which meant they were already in Hell.
"See you for dinner tonight, Marthy?" Roy asked as Marth took a seat at the kitchen table.
"Of course."
Roy gave Marth a peck on the cheek and said a hasty, "Bye!" as he ran out the door, nearly throwing Link ten feet down the driveway.
-x-
"Doomed!" Link said for the millionth time since they entered the school. "Doomed and dead."
Roy had to practically drag Link down the back staircase leading down to the locker rooms, for Link was truly that scared of finding out what evils they were to be subjected to.
"Now just stay calm, okay?" Roy said, getting his stuff out of his locker. "You're gonna be fine."
"Doomed," Link said in reply, shaking his head slowly as he pulled off his uniform pants. Roy was ready to strangle him with his tie.
"Maybe we'll have to shoot some targets," Roy speculated as he pulled his sweatpants on. "In which case I'll suck and you'll get an A."
"But what if it's basketball or volleyball? I can't do either of those things!"
"Well then... I don't know what to tell you." Roy slipped a simple t-shirt on and shoved his uniform into his locker again, shackling it closed. "We'll just have to go up to the gym and see."
Link was on the verge of tears as he jammed his feet into his sneakers. Roy was rubbing his arms with his hands - they must have had the air conditioning on thirty below or something in the gym, especially when they opened the locker room door and were blasted in the face by cold air.
"Is it cold enough in here?" Link asked through chattering teeth. "I'm sensitive to the cold."
Roy shrugged, getting used to the extreme temperature. "If you slept in my room, you'd have to put up with temperatures like this. Marth likes the cold."
And so they waltzed over to their usual side of the gym with students looking like they were ready for their execution. Many were muttering things to themselves as they looked over their study sheets, others were talking with friends, and Marth's fanclub was huddling in the corner gossiping.
"If Roy and Marth ever break up," Terry - the leader of the club - began, "I'll be the first in line to try to date him."
"I wanted to be the first to deflower him," another one in the club whined, his eyes wistful. "Roy's a lucky guy. Maybe I should ask him what it was like..."
Roy just ignored them as he and Link went past. Sure, Marth was hot - Understatement of the year, Roy thought -, but it wasn't like there weren't any others around the building. Roy didn't see a group of guys huddling in the corner ogling Zelda or Samus.
"Look!" Fabian - another nondescript club member - whispered, pointing to where Roy and Link were sitting down. "We should go ask Roy what sex with Marth is like."
"I bet it's awesomer than awesome," Phillipe said, grinning. "Like when you finish a raid in World of Warcraft with your small arsed army."
Terry stood then, and Fabian swore angel choirs were singing softly as the club leader walked the short distance to where Roy and Link sat, talking about how doomed they were.
"Roy Pherae and Link Meleki?" Terry asked.
"Yeah," Roy replied. "Who're you?" Roy shifted so he was sitting with one leg underneath him.
"Actually, it's Mekkai--"
"Charmed," Terry interrupted, not really caring much about Link. That was okay; Link didn't care much for Terry Bochefski anyway.
"Your name is Charmed?" Roy asked, wondering if his parents watched too much television. Terry did an extremely overexaggerated laugh, as if what Roy said was the funniest thing since Monty Python.
"No, I'm Terry Bochefski, president of 'We Worship Marth'. I'm sure you've heard of us, no?"
Roy looked to Link and then back to Terry, who was wearing a grin too big for his face.
"Unfortunately," Roy replied. "Whaddya want?"
Terry planted his rear down onto the bench next to Roy, producing a small memo pad and pencil from his back pocket as he did.
"I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions about your relationship with the hottest guy in Melee Academy."
Oh, no, of course not, Roy thought sarcastically. Just pry away into my personal life! Make sure to wedge that crow bar in deep and pull...
Not waiting for a response, Terry asked, "Did you celebrate Marth's birthday - June 11th?"
"Is he serious?" Link whispered into Roy's ear. "Why the heck would--"
"Quiet, Link," Roy whispered back. In reference to Terry's question, he replied, "I'm taking him out to dinner."
Terry nodded his head as he took notes. "Somewhere fancy? You wouldn't take him to McBurgerBell, would you?"
Disbelief filled Roy's face. Did Terry honestly think he was that cheap? "Of course somewhere fancy. He's my boyfriend."
"Where?" was the next question.
"His choice," was the answer. Even if Roy knew where Marth wanted to go, he wouldn't say anything to Terry about it. That was all they needed, Terry prancing through the doors and ruining their romantic evening.
Terry grinned even more at the next question on his list. "You and Marth have had sex, correct?"
Oh, how blunt of you, Terry, Roy thought. Spitefully, "No, we haven't."
Terry nearly dropped his jaw and his notepad. "What? That is such bullshit."
"So're your questions," Roy replied, crossing his arms. "You have the audacity to ask questions about things that are of no concern to you." Now Roy was channeling Marth, but he didn't care at the moment.
"So how's the sex?" Terry pressed.
Roy's phone rang then, and Roy welcomed the distraction. Peeking at the screen, it said "Marth" on it, tilde and all.
"Gotta take this," Roy replied, flipping the phone open, and put it up to his ear. "Yes?"
Terry wanted to grab the phone and speak to Marth, profess his love for him perhaps... He had to have been a better boyfriend than this red headed schmuck who wouldn't answer a few questions. Granted, a few were a bit personal, but Roy didn't have to be so rude!
"All right, pick me up after Fencing. Shouldn't go anywhere over four. I love you too, Marthy." Roy flipped the phone closed before Terry could add anything, and pocketed it.
"Where were we?" Roy asked, not really caring.
"The sex," Terry prompted. "How is it?"
"Better than anything you could write," Roy replied, grinning like a kid in a candy store. "Gotta beware of the quiet ones. Tigers, I tell you. Tigers."
Terry nearly died at the description. "Good kisser, I presume? Your make out sessions are infamous in my little circle."
Like Roy was going to let out any more details about his love life. "Ask Marth."
"I already did, but he wouldn't say anything to me!" Terry cried. "I MUST KNOW!"
Roy blinked a few times and elbowed Link in the side. "Run. Now."
Before Terry could comprehend anything more, Roy and Link ran as far from Terry as the space in the gym allowed.
"Is Marth really a tiger?" Link asked, snickering at the thought.
"T'tell you the truth, Marth's not really that...vocal," Roy admitted. "He makes noise, don't get me wrong, but... He's not shouting my name or anything."
"Sounds like a wet blanket."
Roy shook his head. "No no, the sex is amazing, I assure you. If I bite him hard enough, he shouts my name. And it's the hottest thing ever."
Link's body thought it was the hottest description ever, but his brain thought do not want the entire time.
"Attention all sophomore, junior, and senior gym classes! There will be no exam, I repeat, no exam!"
Link nearly fainted and Roy nearly smacked Terry's entourage upside the head with his thermos.
-x-
"No Chorus exam," Link said, good-natured, as they walked through the hallways after changing back to their uniforms. "Does that mean we go home or do we go there anyway?"
Roy took out the memo that was sent around the Academy the week before.
"'Students do not have to report to school during lunch and study periods, the second period of a two period class, work/study programme, Renaissance seniors who are exempt from an exam or exams, or for courses which do not have an exam.'"
"Thank Din," Link said. "So what now?"
"First period attendance. History with G-dorf for me."
Link sighed. "Hylian for me. I wonder if they'll give the exams back?"
Roy shrugged as he took a drink from his thermos. "I dunno. It's only an eight minute period, so I don't think there's enough time to."
Roy slid the door to his history class open and waved to Link, who continued on to his language class.
Farore, if you love me, please have me do good on all of my exams, Link prayed. I can't afford to be held back - again.
-x-
"I have your exams graded," Mr. Dragmire said, pacing in front of his desk. Many of the students could care less about what Mr. Dragmire had to say, but the teacher completely ignored their lack of paying attention. "Most of you...failed. In fact, only two people didn't fail, but I won't tell you who did and didn't pass as to torture you and leave you in suspense. I await most of you for summer school - I'm the only one who teaches summer school History."
Everyone ignored the evil laugh and went back to their card games. Roy was busy texting Marth, who was currently at his job interview.
'Have I had any exp in retail' was one of the questions on the form thing, Marth's message read. I've bought things before, but I don't think that counts.
Course not, dear Marthy, Roy texted back. They wanna know if you've ever sold stuff before, like at a Game Stop or something.
I've been sitting here for the past half hour, and the woman isn't finished with my resume yet. It wasn't even that long! was the message that caused Roy's phone to vibrate five minutes later.
Is she looking at you over the resume?
Twenty minutes later, Marth answered, Yes, she is. I think she's undressing me with her eyes.
-x-
"Motto suTEKI na aSA ga kuuuuru yooo," Link sang, causing Roy to turn up the volume on his Nintenpod, because Link was extremely off key.
"Spare me my ears, Link!" Roy shouted, nearly knocking the Hero of Time into a tree on their way home. "I need them so I can hear Marth romance me with that voice of his."
Never mind that passers-by were looking at the duo strangely.
"Link, I'm gonna clobber you over the head with my foils and then drag your unconscious ass back home if you continue," Roy threatened, retrieving one of the aforementioned foils from his bag.
"What? I'm preparing myself for Nintendo Idol!"
If only Link were kidding.
"Anyway," Roy continued, as if Link said nothing, "I have practise until three at the rec centre, so tell Peach I won't be home for dinner."
"Why's that?"
"Hello, I'm taking Marth out for dinner afterwards." Did Link not pay any attention to anything he said that morning?
"Oh," Link said, as if he just realised something. "That's right. Hahaha, I'm so absent-minded at times!"
Roy sighed. "I have no idea what to wear. Knowing Marth, he'll want some formal place or some such."
"You sound like Zelda when there's some sort of function coming up that requires something nice," Link remarked, messing with his Nintenpod. "You're the son of a marquess, right?"
"Yes," Roy replied, his mind focusing more on dinner with Marth than anything Link was really saying.
"Then you should have something to wear. And who knows? It might not be as formal as you think."
"I want something romantic, but not cheesy. I mean, girls don't like a guy being cheesy, right?"
"There's your problem," Link said in such a nonchalant manner. "Marth isn't a girl. So stop going all, 'Girls hate this' and 'girls really like that' because it doesn't apply."
Roy scowled. "He isn't even like most guys, so even that doesn't help."
Link patted Roy's shoulder in a reassuring way. "Just follow your heart."
"That's schmoopy if I ever heard it."
"I know it sounds cliché, Roy, but... It's true. Just do what you think Marth'll like. He's your boyfriend, so you should know what he likes and what he doesn't..."
"Where'd you get all of this advice?"
Link beamed. "Haha, I guess I watch too much of those...dating shows? I guess they're the reality TV 'celebrity-wants-to-find-a-lover' ones."
Roy sighed. "I guess it makes sense, though. And hey, it's the thought that counts, right?"
Link nodded. "Of course. But you want to make sure that your actual thoughts are shown through what you give, okay? You don't give someone some piece of crap gift."
"It could work," Roy said, mulling it over. "It says, 'I was thinking of you'... Not that I would ever give Marth some piece of crap anything..."
Link jerked his companion to the side of the pavement, nearly knocking Roy to the ground.
"Did you get him anything?" Link asked, his tone urgent.
"Of course I did."
"Then why didn't you say anything?" Link sounded exasperated now.
Roy deadpanned. "Because I can't trust you to keep your mouth shut, Mr. Gossip."
The proverbial devil horns popped out of Link's head as he grinned like a Cheshire Cat.
"No, I'm not telling you what I got," Roy said, reading Link's mind. The grin on Link's face disappeared.
"Aww, c'mon, Roy! I promise I won't tell!"
"Just like when you promised you wouldn't tell the whole school Marth and I were kissing in the nurse's office all those months ago, and the next day, it was in your gossip column."
Link blinked. "Gossip isn't necessarily true!" His arms were flailing now.
"Well if Marth and I got together and started making out in the middle of a hallway, you'd know that the gossip was true."
"Aren't you going to be late for Fencing practise?"
Roy looked at his watch and saw that, yes, he was going to be late.
"We will continue this argument at a later date, Mr. Mekkai," Roy said, his voice professional-sounding. He even straightened up his tie.
"Synchronising my schedule," Link said, taking his PDA out. "What time would be most appropriate?"
"Perhaps tomorrow, around this time?"
Link scribbled it down on tomorrow's date and nodded, saving the changes. "This time tomorrow, good sir."
"Adieu, my boon companion!" Roy said, using the sleeve of his blazer as a hankerchief. "Adieu!"
At the intersection of Devon, Chestnut, Main, and Oakwood, Roy and Link went their separate ways - Link up Oakwood, Roy down Main.
Theoretically, as Fencing captain, I can show up whenever I want, Roy thought, stopping at the light on the corner. But that won't show a very good impression, would it?
He would have to cut this week's meeting short - when he said it wouldn't run over three o'clock, it wouldn't. And Marth would be there half an hour early, just because Roy secretly thought Marth got a little hot seeing him all sweaty and kicking butt.
In reality, Marth got there half an hour early because parking from three onward was a bitch to contend with.
-x-
"Zellie, I think I failed History."
"Again, Link?" Zelda was busy peeling an apple for Peach's apple pie dessert over the granite countertop. "Didn't you fail it last year?"
"Yeah." Link stole one of the apples in the basket next to Zelda and kissed her on the cheek in thanks. She always let him get away with it. "That's why I had to repeat this year all over again."
"Young Link'll probably graduate high school with you at the rate you're going." She chuckled, coring an apple now.
"Is he already going to be thirteen this coming school year? Wow, time flies."
Marth barged through the kitchen door, a grin plastered on his face as he threw his jacket onto the back of the nearest chair. Link counted twenty seconds before Marth straightened it out, and tried hard to not laugh - he should be used to Marth's neatness. Link looked up the symptoms once as he procrastinated on homework, and renamed Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder to "Marth Syndrome" in his head.
"You look happy," Zelda commented, wiping her hands on a towel. "Good news?"
"Yes," Marth replied, sitting down on the chair with his jacket. "They hired me. I start next week."
"Doing what?" Link asked, propping his feet up on the table. Zelda pushed them off and gave him a scolding look.
"Retail," Marth replied. "In the mall a little ways from here."
"What store? Don't tell me Gawth Dressings or whatever the store's called."
"Not Hot Topic, no," Marth replied, trying to figure out where Link got "Gawth Dressings" from. "A...different store."
Link straightened in his seat and moved closer. Clearly, Marth was hiding something, and Link was not one to back down until he found out.
"Then where? It can't be that embarrassing."
The blush on Marth's face told Link that yes, it was that embarrassing.
"Clothing?" Link asked, playing "Twenty Questions".
"Yes."
"It's not Hot Topic... Game Stop?"
"Link, that's a video game store, not a clothing one," Marth corrected, crossing his arms in a casual sort of way.
"Err, the store next to the Game Stop?"
"That's the food court."
Link was getting frustrated. "There's that leather store... Uh...not that sword shop, either..."
"Clothing, Link, clothing," Marth reminded him.
"Victoria Secret?"
Link felt so smug then, for he guessed correctly. At least, he thought he guessed correctly - Marth was as red as Roy's hair, and Roy's hair was scarlet.
"A lingerie store?" Zelda chimed in, chopping the apples into small chunks on a cutting board.
"It was the only place hiring!" Marth reasoned, making up an excuse.
Link was having a field day. "But you'll be around bras and panties and thongs and cors--"
"Shut up." Marth hid his face in his hands.
"Well, I can think of worse places," Link said.
"What could be worse than a lingerie store targeted towards women?"
"A sex shop."
Marth got up from his place at the table, grabbed his jacket, and walked out of the Manse as fast as he could.
A sex shop would be better than a lingerie store, one of his classmates had said.
You wouldn't catch Marth dead and dismembered in either, normally. He would have been better off working at Hot Topic or that sword place. Especially the sword place - swords were his forté, were they not?
Too bad they weren't hiring, but as soon as they were, he was going to be first in line with a filled out application and résumé.
Oh, if Sheeda knew, she would probably be red in face from laughing so hard. The King of Altea, the Prince of Light (according to Altea's people, anyway), the one who killed Garnef and Medeus twice each, working in a lingerie store.
Oh gods, what will Roy think? As if Roy's opinion on Marth's place of employment mattered more than what his wife and kingdom thought.
-x-
Marth was, as usual, at the rec centre half an hour before he really had to. He entered through the doors and went through another to see two blurs on a duel mat. One of the fencers had long hair pulled back into a ponytail, visible from underneath the protective head gear. The other's hair must have been short, for it was concealed by the face mask.
"Touché."
The long haired fencer looked down to see the point of the foil poking his chest.
"Nice one, as always, Captain." Long-hair pulled her face mask off and shook her head, freeing any loose hair from her face.
"I try," came the teasing remark. He too took off his helmet, revealing a mess of red hair. "You've improved a lot."
Each positioned their foils so that they were parallel to their faces, the points facing the ceiling. Holding the stance for a few seconds, the one with red hair relaxed his position first, signaling that she could do the same.
"All right, same time next week. Make sure you guys keep practising - some of you need it. That's all!"
Marth took that as a cue that the meeting was over, that it was safe to step into the "dojo" itself.
"Impressive, as always," Marth said, startling Roy.
"You've seen me fight before, I don't see how I can still remain 'impressive' to you." Roy stuffed his foils and head gear into his duffel bag, pausing when Marth embraced him from behind, and resumed as Marth planted kiss after kiss on his cheek.
"Because then I can see you improving more," Marth replied. "Do we have to go back to the Manse?"
Roy shook his head. "No, I brought extra clothes with me. I hope we're going somewhere dressy 'cause that's all I have."
Marth shrugged, letting go of Roy reluctantly. "Doesn't matter to me since my opinion of 'dressy' might differ from yours. If you'd rather go back for a more suitable change of clothes--"
"No, that's fine. So long as you're not picking a place like McBurgerBell or something."
Roy took his change of clothes out of his bag and went into the bathroom to change. Marth sat in one of the spectator seats as he waited, going over the details of their little "date". Hopefully nothing unexpected would ruin their plans this time, unlike yesterday when Link was in the middle of everything.
Roy came back, dressed in somewhat formal attire, his fencing things in his arms as he shoved them into the oversized duffel bag. Zipping it closed, he slung it over his shoulder and went over to Marth.
"We're not going to a wedding or anything," Marth teased. "It's only a semi-formal restaurant."
"Then I'll loosen the tie a little and scuff up my Converse, which are already scuffed to hell and back to begin with."
"Don't forget to open the top two buttons," Marth added, escorting him out the door with his hand guiding Roy to the car.
"Maybe later," Roy replied as Marth opened the car door for him. "What a gentleman."
"Anything for you, love." Marth closed the door as soon as Roy was fiddling with the seatbelt, and went over to the driver's side. Climbing in and buckling up himself, he started the engine.
If only Roy remembered that his boyfriend was a prince, which meant that Marth's definition of "semi-formal" was different from Roy's.
-x-
"Link, can you stop playing World of Warcraft for five seconds to help me with my homework?" Young Link asked, holding up his math homework. Link was focused intently on a raid he was participating in, hacking up enemies and covering allies.
"Sorry, younger self," Link said, speaking more to the monitor than to the younger Link, "but this raid party needs me. Ask Marth - he's good with...school stuffs."
Young Link huffed and crossed his arms, his eyes drilling holes into the back of Link's head.
"Marth's on a date," Young Link replied, moving closer. "In case you forgot that tiny and very miniscule detail."
"Then ask Zelda--Oh hell no! You don't kill my teammates and get away with it!"
Young Link sighed and decided that asking Link for help on anything involving numbers was a bad idea, so he left their room without another word, slamming the door behind him. A "Code Geass" wall scroll on it fell off - not like Link noticed or really even cared. World of Warcraft was serious business.
What the heck does Zelda see in my older self, anyway? he thought as he barged into Ness's room down the hall. He too had a wall scroll on the back of his door, this one of Ronin Warriors. It, like Link's, came crashing down to the floor from the force. And like Link, Ness barely noticed.
"How many times have I told you to knock, YL?" the psychic boy asked, looking up from his English assignment due in September. He was lying on his stomach, feet in the air, his head propped up by his arms.
"Thirty seven, but let me remind you that, in Kokiri Forest, they've never even heard of a door. Anyway, listen--" Young Link crouched down onto the brown-coloured carpet next to Ness "--I need you to help me with my math, and I know you're smart so..."
Ness rolled onto his back, sat up, and retrieved his book bag off the un-made bed behind him.
"If you're asking to copy off of me, YL, I'm not giving you my stuff." Ness shot him a stern look, as if offended by such a request.
Young Link dropped his stuff onto the floor next to him and opened to the set of math problems half done.
"I'm not Link," Young Link replied.
"Well technically--"
"I'm his past self, but that doesn't make me him." Young Link shoved the homework under Ness's nose with impatience tinging his actions. "Help me, for the love of Farore - I am completely lost here." The thirteen year old's forté in school was definitely not maths. In his opinion, it was a waste of time, and therefore he didn't pay much attention in the class.
Ness knew where his older self got such maths-illiteracy from. Unable to turn Young Link away, he took a look at the set of problems his friend had to answer.
"What the hell, YL? Since when was the answer to this division problem five?" He pointed at the offending question as if it were obscene, his eyes wide.
Young Link took a gander at it and then chuckled. "I swear that said forty five divided by nine."
Ness just shook his head slowly. This was going to be a long night.
Now he knew how Marth felt when he helped Link with his algebra. Why me, God? Why me?
-x-
Only a single lightbulb was emitting any sort of light as two people sat at the kitchen table; the other two inhabitants were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen - one was standing with her arms folded, the other was only a third human. The two seated at the table were whispering things in a conspiratorial-sort of voice, while the lone female in the room was busy arguing with a disembodied and sentient hand.
Peach threw up her arms in defeat and backed away from Master Hand, tempted to throw a turnip at his palm as she clenched her jaw shut. She would let him think about her terse words.
"This place is already crowded enough, and so you feel the need to house additional people here?"
Master Hand drummed his fingers against the floor, sitting on the heel of his hand. "It's additional revenue, Princess! Besides, we'll be adding an annex so that the newcomers are separate - you won't have to worry about a thing."
"I thought we had to vote on decisions like this," Fox piped in, the whispering over with. "Some of the people you want here could be rivals to us, for all you know!"
"Which would be great for tournament season!" Master Hand chimed, his disembodied voice sounding cheerfully out of place in the solemn atmosphere filling the kitchen.
"But meanwhile, we could kill each other," Falco added, leaning his chair back so it was standing on two legs. "But oh, I guess that would be great for media exposure!"
Clearly the Manse Head was missing the sarcasm in Falco's voice, and was obviously missing the point. If Master Hand could barely afford twenty five people, what made him so sure he could afford thirty eight? Especially if some of them might be dead, according to Falco's contribution to the discussion at hand.
"No," Peach said. "I will not allow this."
"You have no say," Master Hand answered. "This is my decision and mine alone - I own you until you decide to leave!"
"Which we might just do," Falco quipped. "And if you have no one here, you have no money. Fox and I have better things to do than stay here."
"Falco!" The camoflouge-wearing fox gave Falco a look of surprise.
"What about the schools?" Peach asked, clearly concerned about the educational facilities now. "If you're creating a new name for the tournament, are you changing the names of them?"
"I can't be arsed to change the names of them," the hand answered. "Crazy doesn't have the authority to do it, either. I made sure of that. He's insane."
Fox wondered if Master Hand knew he himself was just as insane.
Peach shook her head. "I don't care about the names, Master Hand! I care about the head of the institution. Crazy Hand really isn't capable of really...being in such a position and you're busy running this place... If there is to be a new leaf turned, as you said, then...?"
There was an eerie silence as Master Hand drummed his fingers once more.
"Come September...there will be a new principal." He made sure to word his response carefully, for Master Hand could be crafty when he wished to be so.
"And that would be?" Fox asked. "I mean, I work there, so I suppose I oughta care."
If Master Hand had a face, he would be grinning in an eerily cheerful way. In fact, technically, the hand did have a body somewhere, but he hadn't seen it in years. Probably not a currently smiling body, however.
"His name is Tabuu, I think. Nice fellow."
Master Hand thought all of this change was a good idea. Crazy Hand was a bad influence, it seemed, on the Manse Head's sanity.
Peach had no idea what to really say.
"I bet he's a nut job," Falco remarked. "You'd have to be one in order to want to work at the Academy."
It was a shame that none of them were clairvoyant - they would have then seen that this "Tabuu" guy was far from being a "nice fellow". Then again, none of the people Crazy Hand liked and recommended to his brother were quite sane to begin with.
-x-
Roy didn't know why, but he felt so nervous sitting in such a fancy establishment. It was so fancy that there was a fountain in the middle of the restaurant squirting chocolate cookie dough ice cream, and no one but Roy paid much notice - they were probably all filthy rich and had their own at home in their living rooms.
He should have known the moment he and Marth walked into the place that it was going to be on the pricey side, the only problem was just how pricey. To give an idea, Roy nearly had a heart attack upon opening the menu. That was only the appetisers section. He shuddered to think what the dinners costed. And for the cash strapped high schooler, that was important information to know. (Ten dollars for french fries was expensive - They better be diamond encrusted for that price, Roy thought.)
"I thought you said this wasn't 'too fancy'!" Roy had said when they were seated. Everything was immaculate, of course. It should, for a five star restaurant, and if it wasn't, Marth wasn't going to be too happy.
"I guess I neglected to mention that my definition of 'fancy' is just a bit higher than yours," Marth replied as he thumbed through the menu.
"A five star restaurant isn't 'too fancy'?" Roy mumbled, looking at all the dinner choices. "I know you're a prince and everything, but..."
Their waiter, Luigi, strolled up to the table with his memo pad in hand.
"Marth? Roy? What brings you guys here?"
Roy closed his menu then, knowing exactly what he wanted - something cheap so his poor wallet wouldn't be raped. "Celebration."
Luigi nodded. "I think Peachie told me something about you taking Marth out for his birthday. How romantic! Anyway, what can I get you?"
So Roy gave his order to Luigi - nothing special, of course, just a plate of spaghetti with meat sauce and salad - and motioned for Marth to give his.
Of course Marth wanted steak with egg noodles drowning in gravy with a side of mashed potatoes - also drowning in gravy, because Marth had a thing with having gravy on everything he ever ate. Before Luigi collected their menus, Roy found out how much it cost.
Fifty five dollars, was all his mind screamed at him. Like neon lights blinking on a swanky eatery front.
Naturally, to Roy's dismay - and his wallet's horror - that didn't include drinks (a Mountain Dew for Roy and red wine for the boyfriend) or the tip.
Thank Elimine I'm having Peach bake him a cake, Roy thought. Otherwise I'd have a heart attack at the dessert prices. Those cake slices they offer here better be sprinkled with gold for that price.
-x-
"What're you baking, Peachie?" Mario asked, sliding up behind the princess. "It smells delicioso!"
Peach giggled softly as she drummed her fingers against the countertop, waiting for the frozen frosting to defrost in the microwave. Maybe Nana and Popo liked icicles hanging off of all their edible objects, but no one else shared their peculiar tastes.
"A cake," she replied, after which the microwave dinged.
"For who?" Mario asked, quirking an eyebrow. Sure, Peach often baked seven tiered cakes for no reason other than she was bored, but she never seemed so intent as she did today.
"Prince Marth," she replied softly, opening the microwave screwed in under the cereal cabinet. "Roy requested it special and swore me to secrecy."
The frosting, now pliable, was scooped onto a frosting knife and slathered onto the golden brown exterior of the cake's first layer, taken out a few minutes earlier to cool. It didn't look exactly like a cake yet, but if given a few minutes, it would end up looking too good to be a cake.
"You just spilled the secret then, Peachie," Mario stated, straightening out his moustache.
"I was sworn to not tell Marth about it. He's not expecting something like this to happen."
"How is Roy going to eat it if he dislikes sweets?"
Peach now had the first layer covered in frosting and bent down to retrieve the second one.
"Oh I'm sure he'll make an exception for tonight. It is a special occasion that only comes around once a year."
Link, who sped into the kitchen at that moment, answered, "Christmas?"
Peach continued covering the cake in delicious chocolate frosting, ignoring Link's outburst.
"It's not even December!" Mario said, turning to look at the Hylian.
"Where's the ramen?" Link asked, tearing through the cabinets. "I must have ramen for my World of Warcraft marathon!"
"In the pantry," she replied.
Link sped off into the pantry, found his "cup o' noodles" chicken flavoured ramen, and procurred the nearest (and only) microwave. Shoving it in there hastily, he slammed the door of the appliance and waited impatiently.
"Chopsticks are in the drawer," Peach said, gesturing to the drawer directly underneath the microwave. Link nearly ripped the drawer out, almost got impaled by a fork, and came out victorious, chopsticks in hand, just as his ramen was ready.
Almost knocking it out of the microwave and onto the floor, he ran up the stairs to his room. World of Warcraft was serious business.
-x-
"...and that's how you get the circumference of a cylinder," Ness finished, a smug look on his face. Young Link blinked a couple of times, hoping to find the English translation of Ness's ramble cross his vision.
"And that has to do with finding the slope-intercept how?" Young Link question, his head dipping below his shoulders in an exaggerated attempt to show he did not comprehend.
Ness blinked and then looked back at Young Link's homework.
"...I thought you took Geometry!"
Young Link shut the book and stood, homework in hand. "...I think I'll just...ask Popo for his homework." Backing out of the room slowly, he ran far, far away from the baseball cap-wearing genius in search of Popo.
What the heck is a 'cylinder'? Young Link thought. I don't think Hyrule has cylinders, whatever they are. I should ask Zelda.
Walking past Popo's room, he walked past the stairs that led to the first floor and took the other fork, the fork leading to the girls' dorms. He wanted answers on Ness's ramblings, and help on his goddess-forsaken homework for a teacher he despised anyway.
-x-
Roy twirled his spaghetti around his fork as he took his surroundings in. So many people dressed in tuxedos and evening gowns, wearing expensive jewelry and equally expensive cologne. Exquisitely carpeted floors and even silk table linens. There was nothing cheap about Un Ristorante Costoso - whatever that name meant in English, Roy didn't know. The service was excellent, of course that was probably due to Luigi being their waiter that evening, and the food...it was as good as Peach's, and she was an excellent cook. The atmosphere was nothing short of romantic, with lit candles on the table and that cozy air about the place. All of this fit for royalty - and rightfully so.
"So what made you choose this place?" Roy asked, lifting his fork from his plate, pasta with it.
Marth couldn't talk right away, due to it being impolite to talk and eat at the same time, and Roy waited patiently for him to finish.
"It was actually...the first place I visited when I first came here," Marth admitted. "A few of us got together and had a nice dinner... I thought it would be a good place to go."
Roy discreetly slurped a stray noodle into his mouth, a habit he picked up since he began eating ramen, before switching back over to his salad. The lettuce leaves crunched as the tines on the fork stabbed into them.
"That's actually quite romantic," Roy replied, sliding the lettuce off his fork with his teeth. He tried so hard to not laugh at Marth trying to eat his completely-covered-in-gravy mashed potatoes with his fork, almost giving him his spoon instead to use.
"That was the whole point of this endeavour, was it not?"
Roy hadn't forgotten about that at all as he leaned his arm across the table. "No one would know you were a prince by your eating skills right now." Using his thumb, he wiped off excess gravy from Marth's cheek and then licked it off. Marth flushed by such a gesture and then wiped the rest of his face off with his napkin.
"Does Altea not have gravy or something, dearest Marth?" It would explain why Marth had to pour so much on his food. Or anything edible, for that matter. Roy sincerely hoped he wouldn't request gravy for his cake. Prayed, even. It was like the Ice Climbers and their obsession with freezing everything.
Marth almost choked on his covered-in-gravy noodles.
"Altea does have gravy," Marth replied. "I just...like it on everything. Like Link and ketchup and you with barbecue sauce."
And so Marth devoured the rest of his meal whilst Roy watched in utter fascination at how hot he could make steak look. He was so fascinated, in fact, that he almost missed the cheque being delivered in a small and very much silver tray. Quickly taking it before Marth could see any of the numbers on it, his eyes scanned it in search of the circled dinner total. After calculating the cost of the tip, he took out his wallet, his shiny credit card, and placed it in the tray Luigi took minutes later from the table.
"So how much was it?" Marth asked five minutes later when Roy's card was returned to him.
Roy glanced at him from the corner of his eye as he opened the door to the restaurant, closing his wallet and pocketing it as they left.
"You know better than to ask that," Roy chided. "It doesn't matter how much it cost. It was completely worth it because you were happy."
Marth, out of habit, escorted Roy to the passenger's side of the car and opened it for him.
"Even all boozed up you're still the perfect gentleman," Roy teased as Marth closed the door on him. Moving around to the driver's side, Marth slid into the car gracefully, closed the door, and gunned the ignition.
"I only had one and a half glasses," Marth replied. "That hardly qualifies as 'all boozed up'. And buckle up, I don't want a seventy five dollar ticket."
Roy clicked his seatbelt into place as Marth drove out of the parking spot, driving just a little too fast for Roy's tastes. It wasn't as bad as that one time Roy accepted a ride from Falcon, but it was close.
"Maybe I should've driven us home," Roy said, grimacing when they almost ran a stop sign.
"And then I would get a summons for you not holding a license," Marth replied. "I'm fine. We don't even live that far away."
Roy thanked the Eight Legends for that small fact. He would rather crash and burn in the Manse's driveway than five blocks away from it.
-x-
Marth placed his keys on the key rack by the front door and looked around. It was unusual for the normally-as-loud-as-a-rock-concert first floor to sound so...empty. In the distance, Roy swore he heard someone swearing and shouting things like, "WE WILL RETAKE THE MOLTEN CORE!"
"Where is everyone?" Marth asked, loosening his tie. "I feel like I'm in a funeral home."
"I dunno," Roy lied, knowing full well where the majority of the people were. "Let's check the kitchen."
Marth followed the red head across the hall and into the darkened kitchen.
"I know Master Hand is cheap, but do the lights in all the rooms have to be off?" the Prince of Altea asked, flipping the switch on the wall.
"Oh hey, a cake!" Roy pointed to the kitchen counter and saw a chocolate frosting-covered cake there, tempting all who gazed upon it to eat it.
"Typical of Peach," Marth replied. "What's different this time?"
Roy latched onto Marth's arm and dragged the nineteen year old closer to the dessert.
"This," Roy said, sneaking a taste at the frosting, "is part one of my gift." Oh, he looked so triumphant, so proud of himself. Marth obviously suspected nothing as the prince inspected the baked good.
"How did you know chocolate was my favourite?" Marth threw Roy a suspicious look as he too tasted the frosting.
Roy grinned. "Because it's everyone's favourite. But Link let it slip to me once or twice, and no matter where we go, you always have chocolate. So I just put it all together."
Roy neatly cut a piece and gave Marth the honour of having the first bite. Roy had no idea how he ended up against the counter embroiled in a passionate kiss-fest, nor did he really remember how he ended up in their bedroom still clutching that damn slice of cake. (It was good cake, Roy had to admit. Too good to let go.)
-x-
Author's Note: Only twenty six days since I posted the last chapter. That's...three more than it took for me to finish the previous chapter. So, what did you guys think?
It seems like everyone has an obsession with putting condiments on all food or something. Link and Pikachu both love ketchup on everything, Roy like barbecue sauce, Marth has a thing with gravy... Not to mention the Ice Climbers like freezer burn on their stuff.
But this stuff is all considered normal according to the Manse. Weird.
I promise I'll finish the next chapter as soon as I can! Stay tuned!