Author's Notes:
Shout Outs:
Aqua Rules:I'm glad you like it. Growth and change, while staying in character is proving to be a challenge.
LadyFelton1994: I will serve no lemon before its time. But the time will come for lemonade.
JOHNXgambit: This universe, or someone.
Katwizzle:Thanks for reading. This chapter will be a little less sad.
Paragon the Half-Dragon: Patience. These kids are young, and they're broken. I've gotta fix some personalities before I start blending them. I think it was Orson Wells who said, "I will serve no lemon before it's time."
jazzybizzle: Thinks will get darker before they get lighter.
LadiBeri: Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it. Some of the best is yet to come.
Anna1119: Why would Changeling be dating other women? Think about the women and what they have in common. As to where we're going. I have a few ideas. I'll be writing up some tropes other people have already used, and I will also be exploring what I hope will be quite surprising.
egg1 : Thanks. I try to update as regularly as possible. I'm very flattered that you think my text is realistic. Oh - Raven is going to get her opportunity to play the field. But I really want Beast Boy to steal her first kiss, and I'm having trouble letting her date first.
I apologize in advance for Sergeant O'Connor. He's a living, breathing stereotype. It's just one that I've always loved. I hope you enjoy our first visit to Nevermore. It seems like it's an obligatory trope on , and I'm pretty happy with the way I handled it. Let me know.
Breakfast the next morning was a quiet affair, as were most meals after that for a while. But the tension that had wracked the tower for the last three days was gone.
Then came Fritzi. She was easily a foot taller than Raven, and had acres of this, wavy blonde hair. She had a pale, Nordic complexion, with cornflower blue eyes. With a large bust and narrow waist, she had just qualified for the cheerleading squad at the University. Changeling met her after sports events for drinks, took her to concerts, and to parties on campus and in town. They took occasional short road trips together and in general hung out. It was only after a couple of months that he brought her to the Tower, when she asked why he hadn't introduced her to the rest of the Titans.
"I'm beginning to feel like your 'dirty little secret,'" she said. "What's the matter, are you ashamed of me?"
"No," he said. "Them.'
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Hey, super heros can be pretty odd birds. Their hearts are in the right place, but socially, well . . ."
She grinned. "Unlike you, who are totally socially "-ept."
He laughed. "Exactly. Most super heroes don't relate to people as well as I."
"Me," she said.
"What?"
"You mean 'don't relate to people as well as me.' You need to use the objectival pronoun, not the subjectival one."
He blinked at her.
"English major," she said. "Go on."
"Well, take Robin. Somewhere, he got formal training on manners and stuff. He's a great host, but only when one of use remembers to turn it on. If you leave him to himself, he only takes his nose out of the police blotter and computer to hit the gym for training. He has a one-track mind, and that track leads to catching criminals. He has a particular hate-boner on for murderers."
"So," she said, "Unless he's on formal manners, you only see the back or side of his head, 'cause he's researching."
"Yeah. Then there's Starfire. Her personality is literally "out-of-this-world."
"Is she really from another planet?"
"Yep. Tameran has this really harsh warrior culture. It's so severe there that modern Tameranian has no word for 'nice.' The closest the language comes is rutha, their word for 'weak.'"
"So she's a real hardass, eh?"
"Just the opposite. Starfire's a real softie. But as near as I can tell, she never got to express it with anyone but her nanny when she was growing up. Any expression of caring was regarded as an admission of weakness. So when she came here, it all sort of bubbled over. Or acksploded."
"A hugger, I take it?"
"A hugger who doesn't know her own strength. Oh, and if she offers you any Tameranian food, stay away from the zorkaberries. They don't agree with humans. Gives us the gallopin' gosharooties."
"Got it. No zorkaberries. Anything else? What about the robot?"
"Woah! Careful. Cyborg's not a robot. He's a man. He just had to have a bunch of parts replaced after an accident. But his heart, his mind, and his personality are all human."
"Thanks. I'll remember that."
"On the other hand, he's not above jokes that take you literally if you ask him to 'give you a hand.' Sometimes he'll actually, you know, 'GIVE you a hand.'"
She blinked. Then she frowned at her right hand, ticking off names.
"There are supposed to be five Titans. Isn't there a witch or something?"
Changeling winced. "Ah. About her. Right. Well, for starters, don't call her a witch. It hurts her feelings. She's really a good person, and people are afraid of her."
"Why?"
"Well, she looks – different."
She arched an eyebrow.
"No – really. Like me, her skin is a funny color. I don't think there's anything wrong with her, but her skin is – grey and her hair is purple."
"Lots of kids dye their hair purple."
"She was born that way."
"Oh, so no 'color found in nature' jokes."
"Absolutely. I wouldn't mention hairdressers, either."
"Right. That's four, plus you. I still want to meet them."
"Okay," he heaved a great sigh. "Dinner on movie night, then."
"You make it sound like I'm heading into the House of Dracula. It's your home. It'll be fine."
And it was. When the doors to the common room opened, the other four Titans were waiting on the couch to greet their guest.
"Fritzi, this is Robin."
"Hi. I'm not as uptight as Changeling says I am."
"Sez you. Starfire . . ."
"Greetings new friend," said the alien, applying one of her signature breath-stopping hugs.
"Cyborg,"
"Yo."
"And Raven."
Raven stepped forward and lowered her hood. She took Fritzi by the hand and looked directly into her eyes, saying, "Welcome to Titan Tower. I hope that you always feel comfortable here."
There was a long pause. Then Raven blinked, let go of Fritzi's hand, and snatched a tray from the coffee table.
"Cookies! We have cookies," she said, thrusting the tray up under Fritzi's nose.
"Um, thanks?" she said, taking a snicker doodle from the pile.
"And sodas! Do you like cola? Root beer? Uncola? High caffeine? Low Caffeine? It's movie night, so we usually order pizza, but if you like we have other food we can fix," Raven went on.
"Pizza is fine."
"Great. Do you want vegetarian or meat lovers or supreme? We usually order a meat lovers for Cyborg, a vegetarian for Beast Boy – I mean – I mean – Changeling and the rest of us order. But you can have anyone that you want."
"Thanks," she looked sideways at Changeling.
"Oh, Azar," thought Raven. "I think I'm trying to hard. I should shut up. But the book said to never sit silently."
Raven stood there, beads of sweat accumulating. "I can't blow this. I won't blow this. I can't leave the room. She'll feel snubbed. I can't just stand here, I'm creeping her out. I'm creeping ME out. Azar, Metrion, and Trigon, somebody else say something."
"C'mon everybody, take a load off," said Cyborg.
Raven breathed a sigh of relief as the focus moved off of her. The six young people moved to the couch.
"So," asked Robin, "Changeling says you're a cheerleader. You know, I hear that that's more athletic than people give it credit for."
"True," said Fritzi. "Did you know that, on the high school level, there are more deaths than in football, soccer, lacrosse, or any other extra-curricular activity?"
Cyborg's eye widened.
Conversation flowed smoothly after that. Raven sat quietly, carefully watching to make sure that everybody else said at least one thing before she spoke. Then she would ask a single question or make a single comment, and wait again. Her head began to pound, and she longed for the quiet darkness of her room. A reprieve came when the pizza arrived, and she was able to hide behind a mouth full of cheese and pepperoni. Fritzi, as the guest, was asked to select the movie. She went with "Casablanca," to Raven's relief. She'd been expecting "Bring it On." People aren't expected to talk during movies, and Raven was able to sit for almost two hours in the dark and deal with her headache. When the movie was over, she decided that it would be polite to leave Beast Boy alone with his date.
She shook Fritzi's hand again, saying "It was nice to meet you. I hope you can come to see us again soon," and left the room.
"That went about as well as I could hope," she thought, as she headed toward her room. She entered the soothing cool dimness and glanced over at her desk. On it was a copy of the first edition of Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. Raven hadn't needed to know what basic good manners were, but she'd had no training at all on how to be a good hostess. So she did what she'd always done – opened a book.
"Always greet a guest with an offer of refreshment."
"While a planned menu is very much in order, a good hostess must be flexible."
"Never just sit there in silence, nor dominate the conversation. A good hostess should speak just enough to stimulate the conversation."
As the weeks went by, Raven was able to relax more during Fritzi's rare visits; Changeling still preferred not to bring her to the tower very often. When the time came that Fritzi and Changeling departed the common room headed for the habitat floor, Raven kept her eyes on her book, but said, "Good night."
It was late afternoon on a fairly busy day. The incidence of meta-human activity was very low, and common criminals seemed somehow encouraged to cavort.
Changeling's communicator chirped. He grabbed it from his belt, glanced at the screen. Fritzi's name was blinking. He flipped it open.
"Hey babe, what's up?"
Her voice shook as it rattled from the tiny speaker.
"Changeling, the Central Bank on Bay Avenue is being robbed. I'm stuck inside. There are five of them. They have guns –"
The transmission was abruptly cut off.
Changeling blinked once and looked up at the others.
"Titans, GO!" said Robin.
The team left from the roof, flying fast and hard. Starfire took point position with Raven covering her wing. Cyborg and Robin eschewed their wheels this time in favor of speed, riding two of Raven's disks of dark energy. Each man kneeled to keep his center of gravity low and to reduce the buffeting from the wind of their passage. Changeling flew in the anchor position in the form of a streaking falcon. The team touched down in front of the bank moments after the police got themselves sorted out and a perimeter set up.
Sergeant O'Connor walked up to Robin.
"Th' whole team? Sure'n but 'tis a bank robbery, Robin. Are you goin' tae leave us nothin' tae do?"
"Sorry, Sergeant. We've got a friend in there."
"Well, lad, the hostage negotiation team will be here in fifteen minutes. If we so much as approach the bank, the robbers have threatened to start killing hostages."
"The longer we wait, the more chance there is that one of the thieves will snap, or one of the hostages will do something stupid," Robin replied.
"They've got th' banks cameras monitoring all the doors and windows, plus th' roof. I've seen you lot handle yourselves in a fight, but how are you going tae git close enough?"
Robin smiled. It was a small, disturbing smile.
"Raven?" he said with a smirk.
Raven smirked back, and crossed her arms over her chest. The red jasper stones on the back of her hands flashing in the sun. She threw her head back and opened her eyes, which shone with onyx fire. Black power swirled up from the ground, surrounding the Titans and forming an opaque dome over them, which sank into the ground without a trace, taking the heroes with it.
For once, Changeling barely noticed the cold of the Void and the Darkness That Stretches to Forever that Raven's gate took them through. His mind was completely consumed with worry for the woman inside.
They appeared on the floor of the bank in another swirl of power. For a change, there was no need for "Titan's, GO!" The team immediately scattered each selecting a would-be thief, and charging.
It should have been a simple, routine call. A bank robbery at Jump City National Bank: a gang of normal, everyday bank robbers, caught by surprise by all five Titans. It should have gone smoothly, ending with the bad guys in jail and the Titans at the Pizzeria. Then it had all gone pear-shaped. You see, Fritzi hadn't said anything about a bomb.
Unnoticed by Mitzi, the robbers had planted it next to a pillar supporting the ceiling over the hostages. It exploded during the Titan's initial charge, scattering the team. The huge marble column cracked through and began to fall toward the bank staff and customers, who were lying on the floor trying desperately to stay out of the way of the flying bullets.
Raven had seen it in plenty of time. She'd whipped around and caught the falling stone of both the ceiling and the massive column on a web of pure force. Robin and Cyborg quickly began to evacuate the civilians while Starfire leapt to help Raven support the stone pillar. Sweat beaded on Raven's face as she strained to keep the people safe. Fritiz took advantage of all the confusion to leave the other hostages and take cover behind a desk. She wanted to see her boyfriend work.
It was then that one of the thugs saw Raven's apparently unguarded back and raised his pistol.
It's amazing how time seems to slow down when you're in a life and death situation.
The world seemed to slow down for Changeling as he thought fast. "If I warn Raven, she'll turn, rather than move, and still get shot, plus she might drop the masonry. There's no time to morph into a bigger animal."
The robber moved. Changeling's eyes flickered back and forth. He was too far from Raven to knock her aside, and though closer, also too far from the bank robber to tackle him. But it was only two steps to the path of the bullet.
"Cheap at twice the price," he thought, and without hesitation he stepped forward, putting his body between Raven and gunman. Fritzi's eyes widened in shock as Changeling turned to present the broadest part of his chest to the path of the bullets. And that was when she saw it. It was on his face as clear as day, and she was not imagining it. The gun cracked twice. Changeling felt the two bullets impact his body. He dropped to one knee. The first bullet punctured a lung, but it was the second one that was going to be the problem. It nicked one of the blood vessels that fed his heart, the pulmonary artery. He didn't know the specifics, but he could feel that something very wrong.
"Lub-dub." Changeling's heart beat, spilling blood into his thoracic cavity and down his chest in a frightening scarlet waterfall.
Then the robber made his final mistake. He moved again. He tried to move clear of Changeling and get another shot at Raven's back. The beasts in Changeling's bones saw the movement. And this time, with Raven safe behind him, there would be time to morph.
"Lub-dub." He could feel the heat of the blood spilling inside his body.
He was already getting weak. He'd only have one shot at this. Raven was still in danger. It would have to be something big, to soak up the remaining bullets in the thug's gun. It would have to be fast; he had a lot of ground to cover, and had only moments. The Beast was too hard to control. The T-Rex and the stegosaur were too tall for the space. "Ah, he thought, "Of course."
"Lub-dub."
In the green dark forests of the Canadian northwest, the railroad companies have to put special sirens on their locomotives to keep these animals from charging them during mating season. In the rut, the males mistake the vibrations and sounds of speeding locomotives for amorous rivals, and attack them to drive them out of their territory. So large and so powerful are they that they can derail a speeding locomotive. Of course, to do so costs them their lives.
Changeling came up of off his knee, lifting up a foot as he began his attack.
"Lub-dub." The hoof that came down was cloven, and the floor shook under its weight. The marble floor cracked and crumbled. Changeling leaned forward as his spine stretched and his muscles rippled and burst into growth. His fore hooves hit the ground, shattering more of the marble floor as he sprang from a standing start into a full-on charge.
"Lub-dub." The room trembled under the mass of two thousand pounds of enraged Bull Moose. Standing eight feet tall at the shoulder and with a razor-sharp antler rack almost seven feet across, Changeling bellowed a challenge that rattled the windows as he made his final charge across the bank.
The gunman's eyes widened. The space where only a moment ago a wounded young man had knelt was now filled with nearly a ton of water-lily chomping, bellowing, snorting nightmare. He emptied his pistol into the head of the moose, but it had no effect, each bullet deflected by the thick skull of the creature, leaving bloody but mostly harmless tracks in its scalp. He held out his hands to try to block the moose from trampling him, but he might as well have tried to stop the tide from rising with a toothpick. The moose prepared to toss his head and gore the tiny creature that had dared to threaten his mate.
"Lub-dub." Changeling was having trouble seeing now. His vision narrowed to a tunnel. Inside the moose's brain, Changeling's mind thought, "Mate? Boy, moose sure are stupid – more to the point – heroes don't kill."
Changeling head-butted the gunman into a pile of furniture at about thirty miles an hour. The man would almost certainly survive.
"Lub-dub." The pull of the earth was strong now. Changeling kneeled and began shrinking back to his human form. The gunman was either unconscious, or wised-up. Either way, he no longer moved. Raven was safe. The rest of the Titans would have to handle the remaining robbers. "It's time for a moose-nap," thought Changeling. From a distance, he thought he heard a woman scream. He tried to turn his head toward the sound, but it was just too heavy.
"Lub-." Darkness.
At the sound of gunfire, Raven turned her head just in time to see Beast Boy absorb the second of the two bullets and drop to one knee. She moved to go to him, but then turned back to force the ceiling back up and away from the hostages.
"Cyborg," she shouted, her arms quivering with the strain.
The man-machine looked for an instant, and then sprinted toward the fallen teen, crying "On it!" Starfire looked at the remaining hostages and the four remaining bank robbers, undecided.
"I've got this," declared Robin, as he palmed four of his high-explosive grenades. "GO!" The gloves, it seemed, were coming off.
Starfire swept under Raven's shield and, with brutal efficiency, began to pick up the remaining hostages and throw them clear of the building. There would be some bloody noses and broken bones, but no one would die. As soon as the last one was clear, Raven dropped the heavy stonework and raced to Changeling's side. Cyborg had gotten there first. He was ashen-faced. Raven stopped cold. There was so much blood.
"He's going to be ok, right?" she said, flatly.
"Rae, it's bad," Cyborg said, "Real bad. I can stop the bleeding on the outside, but he's bleeding out internally. He needs surgery and I'm not really even a doctor, let alone a surgeon."
"So much blood . . ." she said.
"Raven, science is going to strike out. Magic's all we've got left. You're the only one who can heal him in time."
"I can't!" Raven shouted," looking up at him. "So much blood . . . can't focus . . . DO SOMETHING!"
Nevermore: Raven's mindscape. A metaphor for her consciousness, her mind, her personality. And right now, it was in utter chaos.
The avatars of Raven's personality had gathered at the center of her mind, under the light of the silver stars, and rioted.
"He's going to die," said Timid, as she rocked back and forth, her arms wrapped around her knees, huddling under her grey cloak. "He's going to die, and we never told him. It's my fault. We should have told him. I was just afraid . . ."
Happy stood still, a tiny smile on her face, staring out into the black and silver starscape, as a single tear streaked down one cheek. "At least we can be happy he cared about us. He never would have done that, otherwise . . . "
"Do NOT talk about him in the past tense," said Brave, "This isn't over."
Rage howled, "How DARE he put us in this debt!"
Wisdom just stared and Knowledge, her twin, and blinked.
"We can handle this," said Brave, "We can. We just have to, umm. . . have to . . ."
The bank floor: Fritzi watched as Raven knelt and panted heavily. Sweat beaded on Raven's forehead as she tried to push down panic. It was a new experience for her. Raven didn't normally do panic. "So much blood. I can't . . . I can't."
"Rae," said Cyborg, "The blood flow is slowing. He's bleeding out. There's no time for an ambulance. I don't have any blood here to give him."
Nevermore: Rude elbowed her way through the crowd of panicking avatars to where Intellect and Wisdom stood, gaping at the chaos.
"Hey! You're supposed to be the ice queens of rationality. Get your thumbs out of your asses and DO SOMETHING. We can't heal him when we're like this."
Wisdom made eye contact with Intellect, and they both inhaled.
"Quiet!" they shouted, and they made the welkin ring.
The other avatars froze, and turned to stare.
"Who made you the boss?" asked Brave.
Wisdom pointed across the crowd. "She did."
On the other side of the crowd stood a small girl, shorter than the other avatars. She wore a soft, rose-colored cloak. Her eye glittered with unshed tears and indescribable loss.
"Wow," said Intellect's twin, Curiosity. I heard she was around, but I've never seen her before."
"Timid's been hiding her," said Intellect.
"I'm sorry," said Timid. "I thought there'd be time . . ."
"We don't have time for this," interrupted Intellect.
Rage spoke, "If he does not live, we cannot make him pay for what he has done to us."
And to the astonishment of all the other avatars, Rage locked eyes with the newcomer, and then sat down on the ground, in the lotus position, and closed her eyes.
"You know how to meditate?" asked Intellect.
"Of course," Rage growled, looking up at her for a moment. "I'm Raven."
One by one each avatar sat down in the circle, when the new girl, was the last to sit, she said simply, "Please. We must return to the girl we were, if the woman we wish to be is to survive this. Azarath."
"Metrion," growled Rage.
"Zinthos," intoned Brave.
As the avatars chanted Raven's mantra, their voices began to align, many becoming one. Their breathing began to match. Soon Raven's mindscape was silent, except for the quiet chanting, as all her facets, in one voice, focused on a single task.
The bank floor: Next to Changeling, Cyborg looked suddenly at Raven, concerned. Her panic had drained away, along with what little color there was in her face. Then his outer housing misted up as the temperature around her cooled off. Her eyes snapped open.
"I've healed bleeders before, but never with so much blood lost. I'll do my best."
She licked her lips nervously and reached out her hands, placing them over Changeling's heart, and began to concentrate. The dark energy of her soul self trickled out of her fingertips and sank into Changeling's body, following the intricate path of his blood vessels. She passed over the fluid filled lung. She would fix that if she could later. Right now – there. The air grew colder.
"Oh Azar," she said, "the damage is practically in his heart."
"Rae," said Cyborg, concerned, "I know you want to help, but don't do anything stupid"
She ignored him, knitting together the nicked blood vessel. Changeling's heart slowed still more. Quickly, she knitted up the other major leakages. She leapt into the marrow of his bones, forcing them to produce more red blood cells. Fluid she drew from his lymph nodes, his stomach, and even his bladder. He was going to be unbelievably thirsty when this was over.
His heart stopped.
Raven's own heart skipped a beat. Her power was at an end. The heavy masonry, the early part of the fight. The flight to the bank. All had taken their toll. And then the incredibly complex healing had taxed her to the limit. She had nothing left to give.
"No," she whispered.
Nevermore. All of the avatar's eyes flew open in shock. Intellect opened her mouth to speak, but Rage interrupted.
She snarled. "No, Beast Boy, you will not leave us now. We. Are. Not. Done. With. You. Yet."
The Bank Floor: Fritzi saw it again. It was written all over Raven's face. Frost appeared on Cyborg's metal parts. He could see his breath. Raven's eyes flew open, glowing with an eldritch black fire. She arched her back as power flowed from her eyes and mouth into Changeling's chest.
"Lub-dub."
"I've got a heartbeat," Cyborg said. It's thready. It's weak. But it's steady. Raven, you can stop – I think he's gonna make it. We just have to get him to the infirmary-"
Raven collapsed.
Cyborg scrambled, suddenly having two patients on his hands.
"What happened?" asked Starfire.
"She used her own life energy to get the grass-stain's heart to start beating again. If it had gone on any longer, she would have died."
"It seems we are surrounded by people who would risk their lives for each other."
"This was more than that, Star. We risk our lives daily for the people of the city. Raven and BB both just chose to die for each other."
Robin walked up, "And they chose to do it without thinking. They just acted."
"I'm feelin' a little . . . humble here," said Cyborg. "C'mon. Let's get them to the infirmary. BB needs more fluids, and Raven could use some IV nutrition, too."
Cyborg looked around the bank. The four remaining criminals, badly bruised, were tied up and hanging head down from four different light fixtures. The one that had shot BB had been duct taped to a chair. He looked over at Robin.
"Mop up's done," said Robin.
Fritzi spoke up from behind the desk, "I think, I think, - Imma be sick."
Starfire got Fritzi to an ambulance where she was treated for shock while Robin and Cyborg
Raven woke first.
"Beast Boy?"
Starfire answered, "Changeling has not yet awakened friend Raven. Friend Cyborg assures me daily that he continues to heal, and will awaken soon."
"Daily?" said Raven, struggling to sit up, "How long have I been out?"
"You have been in the trance of healing for three days."
"Wow," said Raven, "I guess that took a lot more out of me than I expected."
"Lie still for now. I must inform the others that you have awakened."
The rest of the team gathered at Raven's bedside to congratulate her on her recovery, and on her near-miraculous healing of Changeling. After much back slapping and glad-handing, the rest of the Titans departed, leaving Raven and Robin alone.
He quieted, his face becoming still.
"Why did you do it?"
"What? I didn't want him to die."
"Raven, Cyborg says Changeling was dead. You didn't just heal him. You went into the dark after him and dragged him back into the light by his hair. I don't know much about magic, but I know that the Phantom Stranger, Zatanna, Dr. Fate, and even Sebastian Faust don't do that because it's just too dangerous. We almost lost both of you."
She looked away. "I don't know about that. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do."
"I'm not gonna stand here and tell you that you should have let him die. But . . . please be more careful. I'm glad we didn't lose him. But we can't stand to lose you, either."
"I'll . . . keep that in mind."
Robin turned to leave.
"Robin," he stopped. "Don't tell him."
"I think he deserves to know. But that's your call. We haven't told Starfire. I'll inform Cyborg that you want it private."
It was later in the evening when Fritzi slipped up to Raven's bed in the infirmary, where Cyborg had insisted she remain, wired up to monitors at least over night, just for observation.
"Hi," she said.
"Um, hello," said Raven. "What brings you here tonight?"
"I need to ask you for a very personal favor."
Raven looked at the bed she was confined to. "I guess. If I can."
"I need you to promise to take care of Changeling for me. I'm leaving."
Raven's eye widened and a very quiet, controlled panic began to gather at the back of her throat.
"Why? What it something I said? Something I did?"
"And I wanted to apologize."
That brought Raven up short.
"Honestly," the taller woman continued. "I'd never have started if I'd know I was poaching."
"Wait, what?"
Fritzi stopped and looked at Raven closely. She didn't have Changeling's years of experience in Raven-watching, but she's been around for a few months, and had learned about the edges of Raven's eyes, and the corners of her mouth, where her feelings leaked out.
"Ohmigawd," she squeaked. "You don't know. You have no idea, do you?"
Raven began to lose patience. "What on Earth are you talking about?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Forget I said anything. There's another reason that will make more sense. I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"He almost died in that bank. If it hadn't been for you, he would have. I'm glad you saved him, but I can't do this. Those were just common, ordinary bank robbers. You guys fight real bad guys all the time. Every time that stupid communicator he insists on carrying everywhere goes "Doo-deet-dee-dee-dee-dee-deet-de-deee," he could die.
"Don't you ever watch the news? It's kinda what you signed on for."
Fritzi turned her back, hugged herself, and lowered her head a little.
"Trust me, seeing it on TV and seeing it in person is very, very different. I was so scared for him that my stomach almost exploded. My hands were shaking, my eyes were watering, and I could taste bile the whole time."
"Wow," said Raven, flatly.
"The worst of it. . . the worst of it was the past couple of days, when your three friends were fighting crime without you two. I was glad he was hurt, and unable to answer the call. Think about that: I was glad he was hurt. So far, I've learned that I'm selfish and gutless. A-heh," she laughed weakly. "Much more self-discovery and I'll be ready to open a vein."
"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit," said Raven. "You will get used to . . ."
"I don't want to get used to it!" the blond woman barked.
She took a deep breath and continued. "I don't want to live like this. I'm glad I learned now. I'm going to find a nice accountant. Or a computer technician. Or maybe a brewer. No more super-heroes. No cops. No firefighters. And no soldiers. So will you?"
"What? Look out for Beast Boy? Sure. I would have done that anyway. He's my friend."
"Friend," Fritzi repeated, with a tiny smirk on her face. "I almost regret leaving. I wish I could stay and watch."
"Watch what?"
"Never mind," Her smile vanished and a cloud seemed to move over her face.
"Well, I've got to go face the music."
"Where are you going?"
"I've got to go dump your friend. There's no point in putting it off. That will just make it worse. And I can't do it in a text. I had all the fun face to face. That means I owe him the opportunity to chew me out and tell me what a selfish, gutless bitch I'm being."
She sighed, straightened her shoulders, and walked out the door, turning toward Changeling's room.