Chapter 14
Starfire had taken the news hard, as they all knew she would, and spent the next week sulking around the tower and avoiding Raven at all costs. But after a chance run in with her friend and noticing her now obvious baby bump she couldn't find it in herself to mope for another minute. The glow of pregnancy surrounding Raven instantly filled her with joy. And, oddly enough, it gave her hope that she too would soon be with child.
"I am sorry for my behavior," she said.
"You don't have to apologize," Raven assured her. She'd been relaxing on the couch, ready to nod off, when the alien was suddenly next to her and in a chatty mood. "I honestly thought it was going to be worse. If I were in your position I'd be devastated, too."
"I know this was not a scheduled pregnancy," said Starfire. "Your baby was not conceived with the intent of upsetting Dick and I. He or she was conceived in love."
"No, he or she was conceived in the T-car," Raven corrected her and stood up. "And now he or she wants me to go lie in bed because he or she is growing in double time and my body's struggling to keep up." She headed for the door and reached them just as her boyfriend came through.
"Hey Rave," he said, smiling like a fool and kissing her. "Where're you going? Do you need anything?"
"I'm just going to my room to relax with a book," she said. It seemed like every time he saw her he asked if there was anything she needed. She guessed it was his way of trying to take care of her. She didn't like accepting his help but knew it made him happy. And she was starting to get tired of doing everything for herself. Actually she was just tired in general. "What about you?"
"Vic's forcing me to go clean the T-car… again," he rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to see what you were doing before I headed down to the garage."
"I wish I could help," she said, though happy she didn't have to. "I had an equal part in ruining that car, after all."
"You're already paying the price for our little adventure," he smirked, feeling the swell below her navel. "Now rest and focus on growing that itty bitty body in your belly."
"I'll do my best," she said, unable to keep herself from smiling. He went to kiss her again when the alarm sounded. She felt her heart jump and her nerves spark, but she focused and reminded herself that it wasn't meant for her.
"Damn," he grumbled. "Oh well, guess this means I get to put off cleaning the T-car a little longer."
The team was soon assembled, Raven chose to stay behind to know what was going on, and the information acquired. It seemed that the crime rate was decreasing now that the thrill of the Titans being back together had died down. The team was happy they only had to go off on missions twice a week rather than five times a week; and even then they usually only sent two or three of them off to take care of it. Very rarely were all five (now four) needed.
"What do we got this time?" asked Cyborg.
"Looks like Johnny Rancid's back in town," Nightwing sighed. "And he's taken hostages at the custom bike shop. Shit, I hate it when he's around."
"Let us hurry before he harms the poor people he is keeping captive," said Starfire. "I shall fly ahead!" And with that she was off.
"Alright, hold the fort down for us while we're out," said Beast Boy, turning to Raven and kissing her. "Be back in a few." He went to leave but felt his arm being yanked backwards. He turned and saw that though she was facing away from him she'd grabbed his wrist and was holding it tightly. "Uh… Rave? Come on, I gotta go." She tightened the grip on his wrist.
Her heart was in her throat and she felt nauseas, as she had the day of her fateful panic attack that had caused her to 'retire'. But it was no longer her own safety that was causing this severe anxiety; it was his. This was the first time since she'd found out she was pregnant that he'd be going out to fight a dangerous villain. And she felt frightened.
"Rave, I have to go," he stressed, confused. "There are lives at stake here."
She pressed her lips and did her best to keep herself composed. She finally took a breath and released his arm. "I know, I'm sorry."
"Hey, I'll be back in no time," he assured her with a grin. She nodded but didn't look comforted. He hated leaving her looking so unnerved, so… scared. "Raven? You okay?"
She saw the concern in his eyes and realized she was starting to upset him. She shook away her uncomfortable appearance and did her best to seem composed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go do what you have to do. Don't mind me I'm just being… pregnant."
He gave her a sympathetic look and kissed her head. "Why don't you have some tea and go rest?"
"Alright," she said, giving him one last hug and pushing him towards the door. She watched him leave then all but collapsed where she stood. How was she going to be able to deal with this every time he went off to fight crime? He wasn't just her friend or her boyfriend anymore; he was the father of her unborn child.
The team arrived outside of the bike shop where police cruisers were gathered. Law enforcement was trying to talk Johnny down but it wasn't working, as was evident since they'd had to call in the Titans for help. A crowd had gathered as well and Starfire made it her business to shoo them away, lest they be involved and harmed.
"What happened?" Nightwing asked the sergeant.
"He ordered a custom bike and refused to pay," said the sergeant. "The owner locked the shop and insisted he pay in full, obviously not knowing that this was Rancid. When the bastard pulled out a gun the owner realized he hadn't just locked the doors, he'd sent the whole building into lockdown. So he hit the silent alarm and we showed up. Now Rancid's more pissed than ever and has taken the owner and two other employees hostage."
"Great," Cyborg sighed.
"He's demanding the doors be unlocked and he get to ride out of here with his new bike," said the sergeant. "And he's not in the mood to negotiate."
"Then I guess it's time we ended this before it gets worse," said Nightwing. "Vic, override the building's lockdown protocol. Gar, get in there and cause a distraction. Kori, get the hostages out. I'm gonna take down Rancid. Go!"
Cyborg quickly began to hack into the building's security program while Starfire and Nightwing hid and waited for Beast Boy to get Johnny's attention. The changeling slipped in unseen in the form of a flea then shifted into a mosquito in order to fly close to the villain. He was about to change into a rhinoceros behind him… but paused. He had a sudden realization. What if he got shot? What if something went wrong and he was killed? When he appeared he would definitely be the first target Johnny would want to shoot at. What would Raven do? What about the baby? No wonder she had looked so afraid when he was heading out the door.
He looked outside quickly and spotted Nightwing and Starfire getting anxious and obviously wondering what was taking him so long. He had no choice but to put his fears aside and get on with the mission. He changed into his rhino form and butted Rancid in the back with his horn, startling everyone in the room. The villain stumbled forward and the hostages jumped away out of instinct. The owner fled towards the back to the backdoor which, thanks to Cyborg, was finally unlocked. Nightwing and Starfire burst in through the windows and parted ways. Starfire grabbed the other two employees and flew them out of the shop and to safety. Nightwing attacked the still stunned criminal and easily unarmed him. There was a bit of scuffle but Beast Boy quickly joined in and the villain was apprehended. They brought him out to the police and as the crowd cheered was shoved into the back of a cruiser.
"Thank God that's done," Beast Boy breathed, hunched over and resting on his knees.
"What the hell happened?" asked Nightwing, dabbing some sweat from the back of his neck. "You get lost on the way in?"
"Just lost in thought," Beast Boy admitted. "Um, Dick, we've gotta talk."
Raven sat in a nest she'd made herself in her bed. She hoped it would ease her anxiety but no amount of blankets could cure the sour in her stomach. She knew she could be watching the mission go down on the television but decided she didn't want to know any of the details; she already knew enough. She was incredibly hungry, the small being within her demanded nutrients, but she couldn't manage to eat in her current state. Her nerves were going to turn her hair gray by the time she gave birth.
Her door opened, surprising her out of some terrible thoughts, and her boyfriend walked inside. She was so relieved she let herself fall backwards onto her bed. "Thank Azar."
"Told you I'd be back," he said walking over to her. He climbed onto the bed and leaned over to kiss her.
She did her best to not look as happy as she was that he'd come home, she wanted to retain some dignity. "I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive the next few months. My body can't take this."
"I know," he said. "But you don't have to worry about it anymore. I'm done."
"Done?"
"Yup. Told Nightwing I'm hanging up my suit."
That shocked her and she quickly sat back up. "You're… quitting the team?"
"No, I'm retiring. Same as you."
"You can't do that!"
"Why not? You did."
"Because I couldn't physically make myself go and I'm pregnant. You're in the prime of your life."
"And that's why I'm calling it quits now before I end up dead or you end up dead from worrying about me."
"Dick couldn't have accepted this. They need you!"
"Not really. I mean, he takes care of the city on his own most of the time. Us being here is really about having fun and spending time together. He told me that himself. So it's all fine."
"What if another 3-49 comes up?"
"Dick's on it. He said there are a few other people who may be able to handle them, they just need some specific training. I always got sent in cuz I'm the best. But I'm done and it's someone else's turn to be the best now."
"This is ridiculous, you can't just retire now that you're having a child!"
"Why are you mad about this? I thought you'd be happy!"
"I am happy but… I'm not." She groaned and grabbed her head. "I'm not sure what to think."
"What's bad about me not putting my life on the line anymore?"
"Nothing it's just… retiring is a big deal. And I don't want you to someday blame me for taking you out of the superhero business when you were at your best because I got pregnant."
"You think I'm gonna resent you for this?"
"I don't know, maybe! I don't want you in harm's way but I don't want you sitting around either. You're good at what you do and lives could be lost if you're not doing your job. And I don't want that on my conscience."
He sighed, rubbing his face. "Raven, this was my decision. You had nothing to do with it."
"I do have something to do with it. You probably wouldn't even think about retiring if I hadn't freaked out today. Not to mention the fact that I'm the one carrying your child."
"For your information, I had always planned on retiring once I had kids. I know what it's like to lose my parents and I will do everything in my power to make sure my children don't go through what I did."
"Then why did you go out there today? Why didn't you turn in your suit the day we found out I was pregnant?"
"I don't know, cuz I'm still in shock or something! Jesus, Raven, it's only been a week. And as happy as I am I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we're having a baby. So when the alarm sounded I answered it, cuz that's what I'm used to doing. Trust me, it hit me pretty hard when I was about to head butt Rancid that I probably shouldn't have been there."
"So now what're you going to do? Play videogames and screw around all day?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm not gonna screw around! God, why are you so pissed off about this?"
"I'm not pissed off! I'm just trying to figure out what's going on in your head right now. How could you make that sort of decision without even talking to me?"
"I didn't think it was any of your business!"
"None of my business? We're in a relationship, Garfield! Retiring from being a superhero is a major decision that you should have spoken to me about. See, this is why people shouldn't get pregnant a month into a relationship."
"You're blowing this out of proportion!"
"I am not!"
"Yes you are! Do you want me to go out there and get killed? Is that what you want?"
"Of course not! I just want you to talk to me."
"I do talk to you! I'm sorry I did this without consulting you, okay? Lesson learned. I'll never do anything without your permission again."
"Now you're just being an ass."
"Yeah we'll you're…" He clenched his jaw and puffed through his nose with a growl of frustration. He wanted to raise his voice and really get a fight going, his blood was just about boiling. But he stopped himself. He took in a stiff breath and stood up. "Obviously we're not gonna agree on this right now so I'm gonna go before something bad happens."
"Fine," she snapped crankily. "I don't want to talk to you right now anyway."
"Ditto," he said and headed out. But, after a moment of thought, he paused at the door and sighed. "Do you want anything?"
"A grilled ham and cheese and a chocolate milk," she said, burrowing into her blankets.
He silently nodded, his jaw still tight, and headed out. Even if he was annoyed by her attitude he still knew the baby came first and that meant taking care of her no matter the circumstance. But he didn't have to be happy about it.
He headed to the kitchen and began to make her her order, grumbling about how he had to use meat. His friends could see how tense he was and wondered what could have happened. It didn't take much more than Starfire asking if he was troubled for him to start ranting. And he spared them no detail.
"Gar, man, I've got one word for you," said Cyborg. "Hormones."
"Hormones made her nuts?" Beast Boy fumed.
"Basically," Cyborg shrugged. "Something that might slightly concern her can get blown up into a full meltdown with the hormones she's got flowing through her body right now. You can't blame her."
"And as for the whole retirement thing she does have a point," said Nightwing. "You should have at least mentioned it before coming straight to me."
"No shit, I learned that the hard way," Beast Boy sighed. "How was I supposed to know? I've never been in a relationship that was this serious before."
"Now it is time for me to give you the one word," said Starfire. "Communication. Speak with Raven no matter the circumstance and it will keep your bond healthy."
"What do I do if she bites my head off when I try to talk to her?" Beast Boy grumbled and plated two sandwiches. He poured a glass of chocolate milk and headed back towards her dreaded room while his friends wished him luck. He arrived and knocked, something he hadn't done in a while. "Got your food." She didn't respond. "Raven, food." She still didn't answer. He sighed and moved the door aside. He looked in and saw nothing but a large mound of blankets on her bed. He cautiously crept over to it and lifted one of the comforters. There he found her, sniffling and teary eyed. His anger washed away instantly.
"I'm sorry," she said, feeling ashamed. "I overreacted. I shouldn't have said… most of what I said. I'm just overwhelmed and scared and… too much is changing at once. I can't handle all of this. And I'm not used to not being in control of myself." Her stomach growled painfully and she winced.
He sighed and sat down next to her, handing her the plate. "You need to eat." She nodded and took the food, quickly devouring a sandwich. "And it's okay. You didn't overreact. Well, you did, but not much. I should have said something to you before I decided to hang up my suit. And you're right. We do need to talk more. So," he lifted the comforter and crawled under it to bring it around the two of them, "let's start now. How've you been doing, Rave?"
She took a long sip of chocolate milk then said, "I don't even know where to start."
"Overwhelmed, scared, not in control," he listed off. "I feel the same so we can start there."
She sniffed and smiled softly. "I love it when you listen."
"I'd do anything for you," he said, kissing her temple.
"Anything?"
"Hey, I cooked meat for you didn't I?"