A/N: I am going on posting hiatus over the next few weeks and while this fic is complete my beta needs time to catch up and I need a little fandom break. Posting will resume in the New Year. All the followers of this fic, thanks for you patience and this story will be wrapped up soon! Have a good Christmas :D

Chapter 14

Endings and Goodbyes

Duo hadn't intended to fall asleep but then he'd not intended to have sex with Trowa again but shit, he'd done both of those things and he moved his head off Trowa's firm muscles, realising how truly fucked he was.

Trowa murmured his name sleepily and briefly, for one goddamn second, Duo thought about just staying in bed with him. It was a stupid idea as their relationship was over before it had even begun but there was that second he could've stayed there – could've laid his head down and listened to Trowa's heartbeat. It would've been torture to do that in the knowledge that it would only be hours until he disappeared. Never to be seen again. Damn.

Instead he slipped out, found his clothes on the floor of the bedroom, sliding into them, black like a second skin, and went to find Heero. The apartment was quiet – the room Eli and Catherine were using silent and he passed the doorway of the living area where Quatre slept. The light of a tablet or phone indicated that he was not asleep but Duo didn't feel like going in or having a heart to heart with him. Trowa's seemed to have fucked him over.

He grabbed a handgun from a bag on the counter, sliding the barrel to check the bullets and then put it in the waistband of his jeans, leaving the apartment quietly. They had another apartment higher in the block, top floor, for surveillance and Heero was there. It didn't work as a room for sleeping in as those top floors were uninhabitable after years of disrepair – left to decay and unused – but Heero had agreed to go up, avoiding all the emotional tension yet again. He was nothing if not predictable.

Duo went up those stairs, feeling the cold all the more intensely as he did. Windows had been smashed and it was clear squatting had happened – something Duo understood. It might be damn cold, but there was a roof and it was safe. On the streets, in his previous life, that was all that mattered.

He knocked on the door rhythmically, a pattern to indicate an ally, and Heero appeared, his eyes meeting Duo's and then letting him in.

"You want sleep?"

Heero shook his head and Duo frowned at him in concern. He could see that Heero didn't want that so he let his face split into a little grin.

"Of course, Superman don't need sleep, right?" He said, teasing, and Heero grunted at the old reference used again and Duo scanned the room. The chair by the window had a sniper rifle with a scope set up, clearly where Heero had been – and Duo pulled up another chair, the wood old and dusty. The window was closed but the place was fucking cold. Duo wondered if Heero still didn't feel that shit. He sure as fuck did. He tried not to show he was shivering but Heero noted it, offered him a blanket over his shoulders that in Duo's stubbornness he refused.

"Anything?"

He wasn't just asking about his period watching the streets below – he saw the laptop open and the information on it flickering on the screen. Nabokov was clever – didn't employ people who linked to him, didn't make it obvious who his connections were to anyone but Heero was cleverer. He was tracking all his bank accounts and every bit of data he could to ensure that their new location or plans hadn't been discovered.

"No," he answered blandly, eyes flirting between screen and window automatically.

Duo shouldn't have expected more from Heero after all these years. He supposed maybe a part of him wanted to have the same fucked up heart to heart that Trowa and Quatre had considering this would be the last time they'd ever be alone together – even just as friends. Less than friends. People that used to be important to each other.

"You can go back to Trowa," Heero said after a few minutes.

"Naw... It's –" Duo began and then stalled. It was too hard to go back now and what would it achieve? Yeah they could fuck one more time but then if they did it just made the next few days even harder. He didn't know how to phrase that or if he wanted to. Didn't know if Heero would understand. He looked down at his hands, out the window, avoided Heero's stare that was fully trained on him.

"He would've been better for you," Heero said, finally.

Duo looked up then and met Heero's eyes, gave him a half smile. "Too late to figure that out now, though."

There was an ominous silence then – everything was too late – it felt too late for an apology to Heero, too late for him to be falling for Trowa and seeing himself in some fucked up relationship with him that could never happen. Duo felt his life entire life was made up of events he was just too damn late for – Solo, the Church, Heero, Trowa...

Least now he'd be alone again. Easier that way, he told himself. Shit if he deserved a chance at happiness after all the people he killed both during the war and after.

"The plan..." Heero started, "are you okay with it?"

"I gotta be, right? It makes sense."

"You lose everything."

"Not the first time," Duo said darkly, thoughts of burning buildings and a lifeless corpse in his head. "'Ro... What do I have left? Fuck, I've got no home, we've been over for years, me and Tro' both know shit ain't gonna happen and then, what...? Cypher? A job where I kill people? There's nothing to give up, 'Ro. There's nothing left."

"You always had me..."

Duo jumped at the touch of Heero's hand on his thigh – an intimate touch that made him stare at his skin and think of all those times, those touches. First time in that goddamn school, the memorable time in Deathscythe's cockpit aboard Peacemillion, their apartment in Sanc, those few moments when they had that "normal" life that Duo had dreamed of. It made a weird feeling settle in his stomach.

"We never were good for each other... No matter how much I loved you."

They never were. Maybe briefly, once, they had that thing that could be defined as a functional relationship but that had long since passed and yet it always came back to Heero in so many ways for him. Maybe he didn't love him like he did, but it didn't have to be romantic love, sexual desire, need for Heero to mean something to him. In their own way they had become family, a twisted, weird version that was not comparative to the one that Trowa had made but Heero was more than a lover, more than a brother, something, someone that had defined Duo's life beyond those people of his formative years. Heero… was Heero. And it was stupid to lean over, for their lips to meet, slowly, unhurried, gentle, and it wasn't a kiss that was sexualised. It wasn't a kiss that would go any further – not like when his lips met Trowa's and Duo felt that spark of arousal and fire, of want and need.

This kiss, with Heero, felt both odd and right – it was goodbye and it was everything. Duo lifted his hand to Heero's cheek, his eyes firmly closed as he felt the soft slide of lips. It was like wearing an old pair of jeans, something familiar and comforting, the way he tasted, the way his skin felt, the way he titled his head, the way his tongue pried his lips apart gently and it was ten years in that kiss.

Ten years that Duo had loved him. And now he had to let that go.

He pulled back, his eyes sliding open again, and he looked cautiously at Heero, afraid that maybe Heero wanted more from him. Duo looked down at the hand on his knee and swallowed before looking back up.

"I'll miss you, 'Ro," he said, sincerity in his voice. "And fuck, I'm sorry for all the years… and everything I did."

Heero moved his hand, the slide of it leaving his thigh feeling like it trailed a burning heat. "I was in the relationship too."

"Yeah but –"

"Don't. Not now."

Duo nodded, gazed out the window as the sun began to rise and his heart felt too big for his chest. Not now. In another time, in another place, where Rio hadn't happened, maybe they would've been together but there was no point in rehashing that or saying anything else. Fuck, they could talk about it. They could go over it again and again but nothing was going to change the things that had happened between them.

"'Ro?"

"Yeah?"

His eyes scanned the room, the expensive surveillance equipment that Heero had managed to acquire through contacts from parts unknown, his whole avoidance of discussing the nature of his work and the fact that he was still able to hack pretty much every system that was invented – and he asked the question he'd never before asked.

"What do you do? I mean, I've had theories… but I guess… you must be working for Prev or Relena or something."

"I consult."

The answer was said with an ever so slight smug look on Heero's face and Duo gave a small chuckle.

"And that means?"

"You don't need to know," Heero said, deadpan.

Duo could only smile and shake his head a little, sitting with Heero in the cold of the shitty apartment until it was time, the hours passing quietly, companionable despite the lingering kiss on his lips. The world woke up around them, the streets with the occasional person passing, heading to work or home from work and it soon became apparent that they had survived the night undetected and it was now time for Quatre to call in his "people" to aid in the removal of Catherine and Eli off-planet.

They dismantled the room, Duo helping get the equipment together and making sure there was no real evidence of them having been there. Briefly, Duo thought about wiping down surfaces and going to that level of extreme but then he paused and realised that maybe it was needed that there had been evidence leading to him. He wasn't sure how Heero was working it but damn, it was all going to lead back to him.

The apartment was sombre despite the fact that everyone was awake. Heero departed for a shower and breakfast was being laid out in the kitchen – the supplies Duo had arranged with Cypher's contact, a few bagels and some black coffee, stale muffins. It wasn't much but eating provided a brief respite from the tension.

The adults had seemed to congregate in the kitchen, all of them picking at food, awkwardly moving around each other to get coffee. Duo knew why they were staying out of the living room as he'd passed the scene in there on his way back into the apartment.

Eli, as any kid did, knew the tension between the adults and was colouring on the floor with Trowa watching, a cup of coffee half-drunk in his fingers. Duo wondered about going in but then Trowa needed his moment with his nephew and he was going to respect that. Plus, what the hell could he say to make this any easier? It was his family and in a worst case scenario, they may never see one another again. A scenario that Duo was not thinking of but it wasn't just Eli and Catherine that were in danger – they were about to enter the swanky high tech penthouse of a psychotic billionaire. Fuck knew if they'd all survive.

Catherine made conversation, weakly, half-hearted attempts that no one reciprocated – Quatre was polite but it was all so damn awkward it made Duo's skin crawl and a part of him looked forward to the arrival of Quatre's security team to get it all done with. Then the three of them could distribute the weapons and continue their journey to complete the rest of the plan – the journey to St. Petersburg and Nabokov's home.

The buzz of a cell phone disturbed Duo's thoughts as Quatre brought out the device from his hoodie pocket. Duo had confirmed with him when they'd met at the bistro that he had encrypted devices and Quatre had looked vaguely offended. It was not Duo's fault that he perceived him as having lost some of the skills that had made him a Gundam pilot – after all, unlike Duo, he'd given up a life of violence the day they exploded their Gundams in that clearing. It was reasonable to doubt.

"Twenty minutes," he said as he looked at the screen and Duo left the kitchen to inform Trowa.

He stopped in the doorway as it seemed like he was interfering or it wasn't just seemed. He was. As Trowa was on the floor with Eli talking softly to the little boy and Duo found himself both smiling and choking up as Trowa gave him orders – orders to look after his mom, orders to not be scared, orders to not miss him.

"Remember you always have to do what Quatre tells you or the men who are with you, okay? Always follow orders."

Eli was nodding and Trowa looked up then, his eyes meeting Duo's and it hurt to look at him. Fuck. Today had been hard on so many levels for Duo – waking up next to Trowa after a hot sweaty night of sex and then the conversation with Heero but Trowa had it worse. He was holding it together pretty damn well, though – had to give him credit for that.

"Twenty minutes 'til you move out little dude," Duo said, his eyes meeting Eli's. "Gotta get your stuff together."

The little boy looked at his uncle and Trowa nodded. The kid got up, leaving Duo alone with Trowa briefly and Trowa got up from his position on the floor, collecting Eli's books and putting them into his small rucksack for the journey.

"They'll be fine – we can trust Quat."

Duo spoke to fill the silence, like he always did, and he approached, one last moment alone he figured. Trowa looked up from his task as Duo walked over and answered.

"Yeah."

There was nothing left to say so he just put his hands to Trowa's face for one final kiss, burning Heero off his lips until the sound of coded knocking was at the door. While it was early, there was a certain part of Duo that was glad he didn't have to say anything. Instead, all he had to do was walk away from the kiss and it was a better way to say goodbye. Great irony, really, Duo Maxwell, always had something to say now finding it easier to say nothing at all. Huh. Maybe Heero had rubbed off on him after ten years. Maybe this brief spell with Trowa told him to just keep his damn mouth shut.

A few moments later, Quatre walked in, accompanied by Heero, freshly dressed, his hair still damp from a shower, and a familiar man he'd not seen for years.

"I think you all know my new head of security," Quatre said.

Duo felt his mouth open a little before he composed himself enough to make a sarcastic comment. "Hell, now we have the whole band back together."

"Maxwell," said Chang Wufei, his black eyes meeting Duo's with an accompanying nod. He looked towards Trowa who didn't let any surprise cross his face at the arrival of the final of their wartime comrades coming back into their lives. "Barton."

"Wufei," Trowa acknowledged.

"I understand your family needs protection."

The words were a statement and Duo scanned the man they'd all not seen for so damn long. The one who had entirely cut himself off from their pasts in order to make a different future.

He wore the casual jeans, a grey trench coat, his hair still slicked back into the severe ponytail of his teens, though a pair of thin, wired glasses covered his eyes. His voice was still as Duo remembered it – calm and level most of the time – though he also remembered the sound of his battle cry in the midst of those last few days of the war.

Trowa nodded and an awkwardness descended on the room that was palpable. Blue eyes scanned the room, settling on Quatre, dressed as a teenager rather than the billionaire he was, to Heero who leaned against a wall casually, like Duo remembered him doing so many times before, to Trowa who was eyeing Wufei warily, and then finally to the fifth member of their "team," Wufei who had returned at the very last moment. It was a weird reunion under extreme circumstances.

"I thought you never wanted to see any of us again," Duo said, finally, unable to just stand there, his eyes looking at Wufei critically.

"Winner informed me of this situation," he said, his dark eyes meeting Duo's with a hint of latent aggression. "I may have said that at eighteen but our experiences during the war unite us. If I'd been needed by any one of you, I would've come. You are all clever enough to find me."

There was slight sneer in the way Wufei said the word clever, Duo unsure if it was directed at him. But there was no time for a full reunion, no time to sit down and discuss their lives as then Catherine was in the doorway with Eli, apparently ready to leave.

Eli looked up at Wufei, unsure, not that Duo could blame the kid – after all he'd had all the former Gundam pilots enter his life in rapid succession. It was enough to make Duo's head hurt never mind a five year old kid. But it was now time for the final goodbye, and Trowa was on his knees in front of his nephew, a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"This is Wufei – he was a Gundam pilot too," Trowa explained, his eyes glancing up to the Chinese man. "He'll protect you along with Quatre."

This made Eli look less concerned but there was still an expression that was troubled. It really didn't suit such a young kid to look like that and Duo looked away, looked out the window. Shit, he felt damn emotional and he'd only been helping Trowa for a few weeks.

"Remember everything I said?"

The little boy nodded. "Yes."

"Good. Now say goodbye to Duo and Heero."

This surprised Duo a little, as Eli approached and he got down to his knees instinctively as the kid wrapped his arms around him tight. It was so different to that first time he'd met Eli, the shy little boy who he'd offered toys to, now the kid was in his arms, warm and fragile. The entire reason they were all together once again. He moved back on his haunches from the hug and looked Eli in the eye.

"You look after your mom, you hear?"

Eli smiled and agreed, then turned towards Heero. Duo looked up at his ex – remembering how he'd felt about kids in the past, how he'd reacted to those dead kids in Rio, and Heero didn't kneel, didn't get down to his level but Eli didn't seem to care and wrapped his arms around Heero's legs in a hug. Heero, still so damn unsure how to react, gently touched the boys head, ruffled his hair and it was more than Duo would've thought him capable of for damn years. And it proved to Duo that though he'd always felt Heero needed him... what if he didn't? What if he never really had?

The thought he damped down, tried to forget as soon as it had surfaced, but Heero didn't damn need him anymore. And maybe Duo had just wanted it to feel like Heero did as it gave him some damn purpose. Something to hold onto. Something akin to family.

Eli let go, ran over to Trowa for one last hug where he was scooped up into his uncle's arms and carried out of the room, his backpack collected by his mother, colouring books and toys inside. Catherine looked up, her eyes meeting Duo's and then Heero's. She mouthed a quiet 'thank you' that looked more like an apology than anything else and left the room.

"Guess this is goodbye again," Quatre said, softly, his eyes flickering between Heero and Duo.

Duo didn't reply that it would be forever, only walked forward and they shared an awkward hug, Duo slapping him on the back a little before they parted. It was Heero's turn then, the shake of hands more formal, the murmuring of each other's names as they had done when they met.

"Maxwell," Wufei said, his head inclining in his direction, "Yuy."

Their names were accompanied by a curt nod in goodbye as it could've been in greeting and while in another time, in another place, the five of them could've met over beer, could've talked about their lives, they had no opportunity. Wufei wasn't wearing a wedding ring so Duo assumed that hadn't happened but hell, he knew nothing that had happened in the intervening years. They had been united once, so long ago, by war and fate. They were reunited only briefly.

They left and Duo felt his body sag, the emotional shit of the last few hours draining him more than a goddamn battle. He glanced over to Heero who'd taken a seat on the couch, his eyes looking down at the floor. Huh. Seemed he wasn't the only one. He couldn't hear words from the hallway but could hear voices, didn't need to know what was being said, didn't want to think of what Catherine and Trowa would say to each other. Yet when it was done, the door closed and Trowa returned to the room, his face was impassive but Duo could tell there was more underneath, emotions hidden just below the surface.

"So I guess it's time for us to go kill this fucker?" Duo said, a fake smirk on his face, a lightness in his voice that he didn't feel.

Neither Heero nor Trowa answered. There was nothing else left to say.