Hello all! It's time for something completely different. This is an AU, which means, as my all time favorite Kenshin fanfic writer Jane Drew puts it, "that OOC will occasionally jump around flailing its arms". In this AU, there is no gender/animal-bending curse. If you're looking for the water curses, look somewhere else. This does not mean there won't be freaky stuff and the occasional perversion. (Insert maniacal laughter here) Also, everyone's a little older and wiser, for the most part. Oh yes, and there's some swearing too, so it's rated T.
--
Ranma ½ and its characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I don't even own a Nabiki plushie. (sobs)
--
"Has Kuno always been like this?" Ranma asked as he and Akane walked home that afternoon. Akane shrugged, swinging her book bag absently.
"I don't know about always, but since we all started high school, pretty much. You weren't here for the How To Date Akane Speech, but you saw the result."
"Yeah," Ranma rolled his eyes, silently thanking the Powers That Be that the Morning Fight had been downgraded to one lunatic that was easy to beat. He glanced at Akane, admiring the afternoon sunlight glinting in her hair and wondering how he had gotten so lucky. Thanks to a twinge in the pit of his stomach, he insisted on escorting Akane all the way home, rather then splitting off where their respective streets met. Akane gave him a suspicious look.
"Is this a Guardian thing?" She asked.
"Not…exactly. More like a bond feeling," He explained, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand, which, coincidentally, also held his backpack. His textbooks thumped against his shoulder blades.
"So what do I have to do to get the bond going both ways?"
"We should probably test it first, see if it does or not. I'd hate to put you through a ritual you didn't need to. Guardian rituals can be…difficult."
"More or less difficult then the cleansing rituals we keep doing together?" Akane asked as they neared her house. A strange growl was suddenly stifled. Ranma and Akane looked around, moving closer and shifting so they were almost back to back. Ranma wondered again at how easily they worked together, almost instinctively. The noise did not repeat itself, so Ranma shooed Akane through the gate.
"More, if you can believe that," He grinned, leaning over the gate to kiss her goodbye. She sighed happily as they broke contact.
"Anyone ever tell you you're a great kisser?" She asked. A long purple ribbon snaked out from a set of bushes and lassoed Akane, yanking her back several feet.
"Not AGAIN!" Akane shrieked.
"AKANE!" Ranma cleared the gate, only to be caught from behind with a bokken against his throat. The two struggled against their captors.
"You insidious FIEND! What black magic do you possess to keep the virtuous Akane chained to your side?" Kuno snarled in Ranma's ear, using the bokken to choke him. Ranma planted his feet and grabbed the bokken on either side of his head. Across the yard, Kodachi laughed delightedly as she shoved a dozen black roses into Akane's face. The youngest Tendo sneezed vociferously and passed out. Ranma snarled, his eyes blazing deep red as he shoved against the bokken. It broke in three pieces and went flying out of Tatewaki's hands. Ranma followed up with elbow strikes to the diaphragm, sending Tatewaki to his knees. Ranma raced to his mate. Kodachi intercepted him with another dozen roses that exploded in his face. He also sneezed his head off before everything went black.
--
For the record, the Kunos are one of the wealthiest families in Nerima. As such, they have a good sized mansion in the best part of town, surrounded by gardens that no right minded gardener will go near. Kodachi Kuno tended the gardens, along with her alligator. Kodachi is a chemist with a deep and abiding passion for all things poisonous and floral. As such, her gardens are beautiful death traps and she uses the plants for various potions and powders. The effectiveness of her concoctions varies dramatically, but she has perfected a powerful sleeping powder, which is why Akane and Ranma were currently sound asleep in the mansion, in adjoining rooms that were decorated with an eye towards seduction. A Kuno's idea of seduction, sadly, leaves much to be desired.
Ranma held still as he slowly came back to consciousness. All of his instincts were screaming to be quiet, stay limp, so he did, registering each new sensation.
Wall. Bands around my wrists, feels like…metal. Soft under feet, carpet? Not tatami. Can't move my arms, must be chained. Ok, where am I and why am I chained up?
"Awake, yet, my darling?" Kodachi's voice grated on his ears. Ranma kept his eyes closed, his body somewhat limp, though he did brace his feet against the floor. Yep, carpet, pretty thick, too. A nail pricked him under the chin, tilted his head up.
"I know you're awake, Ranma. Come on, open those pretty blue eyes," Kodachi crooned. Ranma hesitated. He couldn't sense Akane. He couldn't sense Akane! His temper flared and his eyes snapped open, dark red flames leaping in the irises. Kodachi made a funny squeaking noise and she skipped back a few steps. Ranma quickly glanced about the room. Bed, a large four poster with what looked like shackles hanging from the posts. Kodachi, wearing a red corset and skirt combo with fishnet stockings and high heels. A large horse vault, also bedecked in shackles. Bare walls with various chains and manacles and instruments of restraint. Ranma looked back at Kodachi with his mouth hanging open.
"What kind of sick freak are you, anyway?" He spluttered. Kodachi frowned, tapping a riding crop against her leg.
"That is not the way you talk to your Mistress, Ranma."
"I'll live in the Pits before I call you that, you sadistic, perverted cow. Where's Akane?"
"Now, Ranma, that's not how…"
"WHERE'S AKANE??" Ranma bellowed. Kodachi, who had been approaching while waving her whip in a scolding manner, promptly squeaked again and skipped back almost to the door. Ranma's eyes darted around the room. No windows, only one door, and from the feel of his hands, he had been chained for more then fifteen minutes. This was SO not good! He couldn't use his hands, they were numb. Maybe his wrists?
"Ranma?" Came faintly echoing in the room, along with the flare of angry ki that could only be Akane in a full temper. Ranma breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was alive. Alive and furious. Another faint echo, sounding suspiciously like a cry of pain, was followed by strange music. Kodachi stomped over to a nightstand and grabbed the cell phone.
"What?" She snarled. Ranma kept one ear tuned to her conversation while the rest of his mind focused on getting free.
"Yes, he is. What? Tatewaki, I can't hear you if you don't speak…what? You incompetent, why didn't you chain her up?" Ranma growled at that, summoning his fire. The bands holding his wrists developed a thin line of red along the middle. Kodachi pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I can't help you, Tatewaki. I have my own reluctant suitor to seduce. Good bye." She hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed. "Ungrateful fool, can't be bothered to take direction. All he had to do was chain her and she would have been…" She turned around and her mutterings died in her throat. Ranma glared at her, eyes completely red with his fury, the bands holding his arms also glowing a faint red. He braced his elbows against the wall and shoved forward. The metal flexed outward and he pulled free, shaking his hands to restore the circulation. Kodachi remained speechless, mouth hanging open almost to her knees. Ranma growled low in his throat and advanced on the stunned wanna-be dominatrix.
"There's a reason I wear the dragon, Kodachi. You have one chance to answer my question. Fail me and you will learn the reason first hand. Where. Is. Akane?"
--
Akane did not possess the refined battle instincts of a Guardian's Mate, but she did have enough martial arts training to realize something was horribly wrong as she came to. For one, she was lying on a squishy softness, there was funny music playing and strange incense tickled her nose. Obviously not her room, or anywhere in her house. Since the last thing she remembered was Kodachi shoving a bunch of roses in her face, she figured the Kunos had spirited her away. Where that was, and what happened to Ranma, needed to be found out. Akane slowly blinked her eyes open and glanced around. She was lying on a large pillow, one of a pile in a corner of a room that looked to be covered in red velvet. The pillows were red and pink and white and cream and reminded her of an upended box of candy. There were also red curtains along the far wall, and Tatewaki lounging on a red Western-style couch. The kendo captain was wearing a dark blue yukata that looked completely out of place and rather disturbing.
"Welcome back, lovely Akane," He said in a strange, soft voice. Akane couldn't tell if he was trying to be sexy or had a frog somewhere in his throat. Either way, it didn't look good.
"Kuno, where am I?" She asked, keeping her voice calm, even though she really wanted to scream. Maybe she could talk her way out of this?
"Why, you're home, Akane. Home where you belong, in our boudoir of love," That made cold shivers go down her spine. At least this time she was dealing with a human opponent she'd beaten many times before. She slowly pushed herself up, keeping one hand on the pillow. It wasn't Mallet-sama, but it would do.
"This is not my home and we both know that."
"Akane, dearest," Tatewaki protested, getting to his feet. Akane leaped to hers and almost fell when she landed on slippery pillows. Using the one she was clutching for balance, she regained her footing and glared at her insane classmate.
"I am not, nor will I ever be, your dearest! Stop calling me that!" She hissed, raising the pillow threateningly. Tatewaki frowned, fishing in his yukata.
"You're behaving very strangely, dearest. Did Kodachi not get the dosage right?" Akane growled and swung, the pillow thumping softly against Tatewaki's chest. He grabbed it and yanked it out of her hands, the frown becoming a scowl. He held a cell phone in the other hand.
"Where's Akane?" They both blinked at what must have been a thunderous shout, considering the muffled echo currently floating around the room. Akane perked up.
"RANMA?" She shouted at the top of her lungs. Tatewaki snarled and lunged, getting his hand over her mouth. She promptly bit him, drawing blood. Tatewaki howled and danced away, clutching his hand. Akane spat several times, aiming for the white and cream cushions. She wiped her mouth as Tatewaki fumbled with the phone. Seeing his distraction, she lunged for the curtains, seeking the way out.
"Ranma's awake?" Tatewaki shouted, grabbing Akane's arm. She spun, curtains in her fists, and wrapped them around his head. He let go, sputtering into the phone as he untangled himself.
"Akane is awake and trying to flee! Why didn't your powder work this time?" He cried. Akane shook her head as she dashed around the room, hands running along the wall. There had to be an exit around here somewhere! A cell phone flew past her head and shattered against the wood. Akane whirled, mouth thinning at Tatewaki's enormous battle aura. He looked almost ready to kill.
"Akane, I will ask you this one more time. Will you date with me?"
"For the last time, Kuno, no I won't! I'm HAPPY with Ranma, can't you see that?"
"What has he done to you?!" Tatewaki howled, throwing up his hands. Akane blinked. Were those…tears? Was Tatewaki Kuno crying? "Please, tell me what I must do to save you, Akane. Saotome is the worst possible fiend, a demon in human clothing. What nature of spell, what bond does he have on you to make you so loyal, even when dosed with my dear sister's anti-love powder?"
"Um, the only powder Kodachi made that actually works is the sleeping one. Don't you remember what happened to your crew when she doused them with speed potion?" Akane pointed out, edging along the wall, still trying to find a knob or handle or latch or something that would let her out of this nightmare. She froze suddenly, eyes growing wide. Mallet-sama!
"Do not remind me of that accursed event!" Tatewaki snarled. Akane ignored him, focusing on her giant mallet. How did she get it last time? She had been frustrated, which was certainly true now, and then she had thrown up her hands. Akane threw up her hands, focusing on her anger and frustration and hints of fear. Mallet-sama appeared with a loud POP!
"Yatta!" Akane squealed. Tatewaki's jaw hit the carpet and he pointed at her dumbly.
"Wh..what?" He stammered. Akane advanced on him, Mallet-sama at the ready.
"This, Tatewaki Kuno, is what you get when you kidnap a Dragon's Mate."
WHAM!