Darthemius: Damn! No, wait. That was not right… Ahem… Wait for it, wait for it… DAMN! Yeah, this is it! Damn, people! No, there won't be any fooling around with ANs today. Instead I would like to ask a question… Have I ever cried to anyone that someone doesn't like my stories? Well, this will probably be counted as one…

I mean shit! Several days ago I got a message from someone who thinks my story is… well bad. I've been laughing for hours about the insults he used. You see, the guy probably forgot (or didn't know) where I'm from. And to tell the truth… well, no offense, but English insults are kind of weak. I mean English have what… four BEEPING words? Also the word ass… You know, right here we don't even consider this an insult. And that guy, he used 'anus'. Haha! I wasn't using this word since I was in kindergarden!

Okay, I got sidetracked. Sorry about that. So then I read through that message and noticed that he wasn't insulting my story as much as he was insulting me. I mean shit, the only thing he said about the story was retelling me the first chapter (To me, the author) and saying that it was ridiculous and unoriginal… in every part.

Unoriginal alright… But let me ask you this, how many truly original stories are there? Naruto is a very popular fandom and everything that comes to mind was probably already used by someone.

Then again, I destroyed Naruto's character… Yeah, I did! So fucking what? In fact, I started to HATE Naruto's character. In my opinion only teenage girls can like him now. I mean he was amusing at first, but that was in first season. I actually thought that after his three year trip he will return somewhat changed (I don't mean EHD kind of changed, but still) and no way! He's still the same moron even in the latest chapters! Fuck, I even started to like Sasuke more! At least the guy has a purpose. Yeah, it's a dumb purpose, but still.

Anyway, I got sidetracked again. Another guy said I have bad grammar… I'm not even going to speak about that one.

And finally they think I should stop writing… Well, they weren't really convincing so I think they can go fuck themselves. They thought their words hurt me? Please! They didn't hear what I got while writing EHD! There were some real nasty insults! (Once again in my address mostly) Can you believe it people, they actually calling themselves something like fanfiction police! Shit, that's almost as stupid as fashion police! Or maybe a trash can police! "You threw paper in the wrong trash can? Then we're coming for you!" Damn, they actually made a forum to point how bad my story is. You can check it out, I didn't delete that review.

…

Sorry guys for throwing that all on you. I just really have a bad fucking mood right now.

So well, here's your chapter. Enjoy!

...

Chapter fourteen: Princess versus Rattlesnake.

"Shin-ne!" – talks.

'Nah.' – thoughts.

...

Tanzaku town…

"A fancy place…" Naruto said, looking around. "I don't mind staying here for several days."

"Yeah, me too." Jiraya added with lecherous grin.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Not like that, you pervert!"

"Stop insulting me, damn it!" Sannin shouted. "I'm not a pervert, I'm a SUPER PERVERT!"

Jin smirked. "Oh really? You seem like a super loser to me. For with all your great accomplishments you can't even get laid for free!"

"Why you…!"

"Enough already!" Tsubaki interrupted. "You've been bickering the entire way here, stop that already and let's find this Tsunade person."

"Fine, fine!" Jiraya waved his hand. "Let's spread up. Do you know where to search, Kisaragi?"

"Yeah, I know where to search. Let's go, Tsubaki."

"I don't think so." Jiraya interrupted. "Tsubaki-chan is coming with me this time."

Naruto turned around and glared at him. "Oh? You mean just like the last time? Hell no, I'm not leaving her with you again!"

Sannin's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't asking, Kisaragi. You forgot that I'm the one in charge of this mission and I just gave you an order."

"But Jiraya-san, mother said that Jin must be with me all the time…" Tsubaki tried to argue.

"Enough arguing, you will do what I said."

Naruto rolled his eyes and decided that further arguing is pointless.

"Fine, fine I'm going…" He said walking away. "And don't forget what you must do when we find her."

Jiraya scowled. 'Son of a mother-fucking, ass-licking…'

"Umm… Jiraya-san?" Tsubaki asked.

"Yeah?"

"Where are we going to look?"

"Hmm…" Toad hermit looked around. "Ah-ha! That looks like our place!"

"B-But that's a bar!" The red head exclaimed.

"Exactly, now come on." Jiraya walked inside with Tsubaki in tow and showed a picture to the bartender. "Have you seen this woman around here?"

"I don't remember." The bartender replied with a shrug.

Jiraya threw some coins at him. "How about now?"

"Ha, that refreshed my memory. Yep, she was here yesterday. And judging by the amount of alcohol she consumed, I don't think she went too far."

"Thanks." He turned around and motioned for Tsubaki to follow him.

"Was that Tsunade's picture?"

"Yes." The sannin nodded.

"But I thought she was your teammate!" The girl exclaimed. "And if that's true, she must be around… sixty?"

A tick mark appeared on Jiraya's forehead. "Fifty!"

"Oh, sorry…"

"Do I really look that old?"

Tsubaki bit her lower lip. "Do you want an honest answer?"

Jiraya frowned. "No, I think I'd rather hear a lie…"

Suddenly…

CRASH.

"Wooooooooaaaaaaah!"

Tsubaki turned around sharply. "What was that?"

"That was Kisaragi finding Tsunade!" Jiraya stated, speeding up. "Come on, girl, or we gonna have a couple of corpses!"

Tsubaki's eyes widened. "They won't kill each other… won't they?"

"Each other? I really doubt that. But if we won't stop them quickly, the city will turn into ruin!"

With Naruto…

"Where the hell is this bitch?" Naruto hissed, walking around Tanzaku town. 'As if I don't have more pressing matters on my mind. Nii-san got away and… Oh damn, how come I didn't think about it earlier? Now he knows that I'm not only long-forgotten Uzumaki Naruto, but also that I'm Namikaze Minato's son!'

Deep in thoughts he walked into a bar. 'This is bad, but… wait, if he relay this information to Akatsuki…'

"Hey kid, we don't serve children here, get lost."

'Must not lose the chain of thoughts.' He took out some coins. "Do you serve children now?"

"Hmm… sure, what will you have?"

"A bottle of sake."

"Sake?"

"Did I mumble?"

"No… Fine, here it is."

"Thanks." Naruto took his bottle and went to search for a table. 'If he tells this to Akatsuki AND ONLY to Akatsuki, then this might not be so bad after all!' He thought, sitting down. 'If they learn about my identity they will come for me instead of her not only because I'm not officially Hokage's child, but also because I took out one of their own! But for that to happen, Akatsuki must not tell this information to anyone. Hmm… Actually for some reason I doubt they will. After all they didn't uncover Tsubaki's jincuuriki status to the world.'

"Hey, what do you think you're doing, brat? This table is taken."

Naruto snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh, sorry I didn't see you… Tsunade?"

The blonde woman looked at his face. "How do you know…? YOU!"

"Oh shit!"

SMACK.

CRASH.

"Wooooooaaaaaah!" Naruto screamed, flying through bar wall. "Shit, her punches as strong as ever…"

"Kisaragi!"

Naruto looked up in fear, noticing Tsunade descending down on him with her signature heel drop.

"Fuck!" Naruto cursed, jumping away to escape the impact. 'I can't use Hiraishin, Sharingan and Kyuubi! And worst of all I must hold back this time for we need her alive!'

"You won't get away!"

"Double fuck!" Naruto hissed, summoning Yukianessa. "Fubuki!"

"Duh!" Tsunade ducked in midair and went for the punch. "You're mine!"

SMACK.

"Asshole!" The woman cursed when his body cracked into ice pieces. "Where are you, Kisaragi?"

"Behind your back."

Tsunade turned around sharply. "You…"

"Sekkajin!" Naruto quickly drew his sword, making a barrage of fast sword slashes.

"Ah!" Tsunade screamed, covering herself with her arms. And as a result she now had several nasty cuts on them. "You son of a bitch! Don't think that will stop me!"

"And I'm not." He replied. "Look, Tsunade, I'm not here to fight you…"

"Too bad, because I am!"

"Crap!" Naruto cursed when Tsunade ran at him again. "Hiren…"

"Together you must persuade his former teammate to come back here…"

Jin's eyes widened. 'To do that she must be alive.' He thought, stopping his technique… but Tsunade had other plans.

"Take this!" She appeared in front of him and punched Jin in the chest with all her might.

"Guah!" Naruto gasped as he went crashing through another building.

"Huh?" Tsunade stood in her place with wide eyes. 'Why did he take that punch? I know he could dodge that…' She thought, slowly walking to her victim. "Why didn't you evade?"

"Cough…" Naruto struggled to stand up, clutching the side of his chest. "I told you I'm not here to fight… Cough… Damn, must you hit that hard?"

"Fuck you!" Tsunade grabbed him by the collar. "After what you did I must kill you on the spot!"

"Oh, suck it up! You lost not once, not twice, but three times! Take it like a man… I mean woman… I mean… you know what I mean!"

"Tch." Tsunade scowled. "Don't think you're off the hook yet, but entertain me a little. Why are you here?"

"Cough… A mission…" Jin muttered.

"Huh? What mission?"

"I can explain that, Tsunade."

Slug mistress looked over her shoulder. "Jiraya?"

Another bar…

"Hahahahahahahaha!" Tsunade laughed, pointing her finger at Jin. "A genin! He made you a genin! Hahahaaha!"

"Stop that already." Naruto said with a sweatdrop. "It's not like I enjoy that much…"

"Of course you don't. Had any D-rank missions? Hahahahaha!"

"I did… But only as punishment."

"Huh?" Tsunade stopped laughing. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I wasn't put on a team but signed up for apprenticeship instead. So I didn't do D-ranked missions until we messed up one time."

"I see…" The blonde woman folded her arms. "So, what do you want from me?"

"Have you heard that there was an invasion on Konoha recently?" Jiraya asked back.

"Perhaps." Tsunade stated.

"And did you hear that Minato was… well, kind of injured during the battle?"

Woman's eyebrow rose. "No, I didn't hear that. What happened?"

"Father was hit with… something." Tsubaki stated. "We don't know what it was, but he is in deep coma and no matter what we do he just won't come out of it."

"And I guess you want me to fix that." Tsunade concluded.

"Please, Tsunade-sama…"

"Must I return to Konoha for that?" Slug sannin interrupted.

"H-Hai."

"Then I refuse." Legendary medic stated. "This is not worth my while."

Jiraya sighed. "Look, Tsunade, I didn't want to start this discussion, but you were allowed to leave only because of Minato's order."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to blackmail me?"

Toad hermit grunted. "What I'm trying is…"

"Enough." Naruto interrupted, raising his hand. "You won't persuade her like that."

"Oh yeah? And you think you can do better?" Tsunade hissed. "Be happy that I'm even talking to you after what you did!"

"Now wait just a minute…!" Jin started, but…

"Umm…" Tsubaki exclaimed. "What exactly did he do?"

Three people's eyes widened. Of course Jiraya didn't know the details; he just knew that Tsunade was mad at Jin for some reason.

Tsunade on the other hand…

Flashback. Six months ago…

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! You suck, lady!" Naruto stated, winning another game of poker.

At the beginning there were about eight people playing. But after Naruto won each and every single game, people decided that it was pointless and left. Only Tsunade in her stubbornness remained.

"Watch your mouth, kid! Again!"

Naruto snorted. "Fine, fine. One more game, dealer."

Tsunade received her cards and smirked victoriously. "Ha, Full House! Beat that, you brat!"

"Kh… Kh… Khahahahaha!" Naruto laughed, turning over his cards. "Four of a kind, you lost again, lady! Hahahahaha!"

"Damn brat!" Tsunade cursed, hitting the floor. "Again!"

"Hey, you really should stop." Naruto stated. "Because… well, I've never seen someone suck so badly at poker."

"What? You wanna take this outside?"

"Hey, anytime lady! I hope you're better at fighting than you are at gambling."

"That's it!" Tsunade stood up. "I will kick your ass!"

Outside…

"Do you really want to do this?" Naruto asked in boredom. "For the amount of sake you consumed just now…"

"Shaddap! I will kick your little ass right now, kid!" Tsunade responded.

Naruto gritted his teeth. "Stop calling me kid! My 'kid' won't fit in your damn mouth!"

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" She stated and rushed at him.

Jin's eyes widened. 'Shit, she's fast!' He quickly ducked under her punch and rolled forward to escape another one.

"Not bad, kid! Let's see you handle this!" Tsunade jumped high in the air, going for the heel drop.

"How I'm going to handle this?" Naruto summoned his sword. "Like this! Fubuki!"

Being the experienced shinobi she was, Tsunade reacted just in time to escape the critical strike. But her striking leg still took a heavy hit.

"Oh fuck!" She cursed, falling on one knee.

Naruto sighed and sheathed his blade. "Let me hel…"

SMACK.

"Guah!" Jin gasped, flying backwards.

"I'm not done with you, brat!" Tsunade screamed, struggling to her feet.

"Grr!" Naruto growled dangerously, standing up from the ground. "So you want to do this the hard way! Fine! Hishouken!"

Woman's eyes widened when she saw an ice blade flying her way at amazing speed. She tried to jump away, but her right leg gave up.

"Oh shit!"

STAB.

Naruto's technique nailed Tsunade right on the stomach.

"Oh damn." Jin muttered, realizing what he just done. "Sorry, I didn't think it'll hit you. Here, let me help…"

"Fuck off!" Tsunade hissed, removing the ice blade from her abdomen. "I can help myself very well." With that she did some hand seals and her hand started to emanate green light.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Medical jutsu?" He concluded. "Looks like there's more to you than meets the eye."

"What, really?" Tsunade said sarcastically.

"Yeah, besides you punch like hell! Almost broke my rib out there."

"Well, you deserve it…"

"For trying to help? Come on now!"

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry, okay? I just overreacted." Tsunade said, removing her hands from her already healed stomach.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Damn that was fast!"

The blonde woman snorted. "What did you expect? I'm not a legendary medic for nothing, you know."

Jin tilted his head to the side. "A legendary medic?"

Tsunade shook her head, beginning to work on her injured leg. "Kids these days… Ever heard the name Tsunade?"

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "You're Tsunade? But shouldn't you be like… sixty?"

"Fifty!"

"Alright, alright! So you really are Tsunade?"

She nodded.

"Damn… I'm glad you're drunk like shit or I would've probably been a stain on the wall right now."

Tsunade smirked. "Don't be so self-critical…"

"Jin, Jin Kisaragi."

"Ho! Kisaragi you say?"

Jin stared at her skeptically. "Don't tell me you heard it. I won't believe anyway."

"Oh really?" Tsunade's smirk widened. "Because you see, I have a… an acquaintance. Perhaps you heard about him as well. His name is Jiraya. And he heard about you alright."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, right… From who?"

"From the people of Kirigakure of course!"

Naruto's eyes widened.

"I thought so… Fuck!"

"What?"

"The alcohol is messing with my chakra. I don't have enough to heal my leg."

Naruto sighed and extended his hand. "Come on, I'll take you to your place. Where do you live?"

"Not far from here… Ouch! Careful, dammit!"

"Sorry." Naruto picked Tsunade up… But then he was met with a problem. What problem? How to carry her of course.

At first he tried piggyback style, but Tsunade's breasts got in the way. Then he tried to place her over his shoulder, but that proved to be a heavy task… literally. So in the end he had to settle for bridal style.

"Shit, I'm carrying a fifty year old woman, who I injured myself in the middle of the night. Damn that's so romantic!" Naruto said with sarcasm.

"Shut up!" Tsunade exclaimed, wrapping her hands tightly around his neck. "It's not like I want to be in this position!"

"Alright, I got it." He replied. "Say, why do you gamble if you always lose?"

"That's exactly why! I'm going to win the next time!"

Naruto looked at her skeptically. "Damn you're addicted…"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are, and don't even try to deny it. I'm not going to judge you anyway, every man decides on what to do with his own life."

Tsunade looked at him strangely.

"What?"

"Are you wearing a henge?" She suddenly asked.

"No, why do you ask?"

"Because you sure as hell don't sound like a kid."

"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled. "There are… circumstances that make you grow up quickly."

Tsunade's eyes widened as the image of her dead brother flashed before her eyes. 'Looks like you're not that simple as well, Jin Kisaragi.'

"Is this it?" Naruto asked, pointing at the house.

"Yeah, that's the motel I'm staying in right now."

"Let's go then." The blonde mercenary said, kicking the door open.

"Ahh, welcome back miss…" The Innkeeper greeted. "And… This probably will be a dumb question, but is the gentleman of age?"

Tsunade glanced at Jin with slight blush on her cheeks. 'Hell no! I didn't just think of that! Bad Tsunade!'

But there was no limit to her surprise when he smirked and…

"No, we are going to break the law!" Naruto stated slyly and his smirk widened. "And if you're not going to let us in, then we will do that right here on your desk!"

Innkeeper's jaw fell.

"So, what will it be?"

"F-Fine, here is your key."

"Thank you." Naruto smiled and carried Tsunade upstairs.

"Nice trick." She admitted.

"I'm a Rattlesnake." He said, opening the door. "Is there a med pack here?" Jin asked, placing Tsunade on the bed.

"Yeah, in the bathroom."

"Alright, I'll be right back." He disappeared behind bathroom's door and returned a minute later. "Now I need you to take your pants off."

"Like hell I will, you damn pervert!" Tsunade shouted at him in anger.

"Yes I am." Naruto admitted to her shock. "But if I wanted to fuck you, I'd simply say so. Right now I was going to patch up your wound."

The blonde medic just stared at him. "You know, you surely have a set of balls. No man would ever admit himself being a pervert in front of me."

Naruto shrugged. "What's the big deal?" The mercenary asked, bandaging Tsunade's leg. "If man is not a pervert, then he is either frigid, or moron."

"Huh? Why is that?"

"Well, it's just…" He started. "You women are just dumb sometimes… No, wait a second! Before you hit me, let me explain. You don't want a pervert, right? You want a gentleman, who would respect your feelings, write you love letters and sing under your window, right?"

"I… I guess." Tsunade replied.

"But consider this, you meet such guy. A perfect gentleman who will write you poems, sing serenades and other stupid shit. You enjoy his company and blah, blah, blah… But when it all comes down to that? Uh-uh! He would go off, saying something like 'you are not ready yet', or 'first time must be fabulous'. But the truth is he is just a coward who doesn't know where to put it. So in the end you will snap with something like 'fuck me already'!"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Now that's an interesting way to put it…"

"Not only that, but also an honest one."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Naruto sighed. "I mean that at least perverts admit that they admire woman's body. What's so bad in it? If I go and say something like… 'Holy fuck! You are the hottest woman I have ever seen in my entire life!' Won't you be pleased?"

"Maybe I will, but that won't mean that I will enjoy being seen as a piece of meat!"

Jin slapped his face. "Damn you women and your prejudices! It doesn't mean that you will be seen as a piece of meat! Look, let's take a girl that is not beautiful. Do you think that men will look at her like a piece of meat? Hell no! Now let's compare her to you and your huge melons…"

"Pervert."

"Thank you. Now let's compare you to her. And yes, there are men who see women as sex tools, but let's not take them as an example. A simple average guy, he sees the two of you and has to make a choice. Of course, he needs to know you better first, but who do you think he will choose to 'know better' between you and not beautiful girl? Exactly. Because, like it or not, a woman is first of all an eye candy. Everything else comes as a bonus."

Tsunade just stared at him dumbly. "Fucking hell, you sure have way with words, Kisaragi. I mean shit; you almost made even someone like me believe that perverts are cool!"

"I did?"

"Almost, because I have never met a pervert, who knew… how did you say, where to put it?"

"Then you searched poorly… But hey!" Naruto smirked. "You know one now!"

Tsunade tilted her head to the side. "Huh? Who?"

"Umm…" Naruto pointed down at himself.

"You?" Tsunade asked in amusement.

"Yup! After all, I'm looking at you in your underwear and not even blushing."

"Hmm… good point actually." The medic stated. "You know, Jiraya could learn something from you…"

"What?"

"How to be a man."

"Heh, if you say so." Jin replied and turned around…

"Hey, where are you going?" Tsunade asked hastily.

"Out obviously." He stated. "I got you here, treated your wound… or should I help you to a toilet as well?"

"Asshole." Tsunade muttered. "I meant where are you staying?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Nowhere actually. I never had the chance to get myself a place to stay. Better late than never I guess…"

"Wait! You umm… You can stay here… if you want."

A lecherous smirk appeared on Naruto's face. "Oh? What am I hearing! Princess Tsunade, the biggest pervert-hater in the world is offering a pervert to stay at her place? Shit, hell must be frozen over!"

"Enough with your jokes already! Are you staying or not?"

Jin thought for a second. "Is that for free?"

"Umm… yeah."

"Then sure, I'll stay." He stated, removing his clothes. "Where should I sleep?"

"Won't bed be enough?"

"Yep, it will. Wanna fuck?"

Tsunade's eyes widened. "W-What?"

Naruto shrugged. "No? Then I'm out, good night." He got under a blanket and turned away from her.

"Wait!" She called. "It's just… How can you be so bold?"

Jin slapped his face. "Come on, we are shinobi! People like you are actually an exception; most ninjas don't get past their thirties. I probably won't even reach my twenties! I don't have time to be shy."

"You mean something like Kirigakure?" The blonde medic asked.

"Yeah, that was a simple suicide. But well, I'm not afraid of dying." He paused. "Sometimes I even hope for it, so all problems will be gone."

Silence reigned for some seconds. Then…

"Can you promise not be too rough?"

"What?" Naruto looked over his shoulder.

"I…" Tsunade gulped. "I didn't have sex in a while…"

"How long?"

"Very…"

'Well, it's not like I will use my Sharingan. And looking at her now…' Naruto wondered. "Fine, tell me if I'm too rough!" With that he threw Tsunade on her back and ripped her top in half.

"Ah!" The legendary medic screamed. "You're too rough!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Jin responded. "We have not even started yet! I just wanted to make sure they are real, I've been wondering ever since I saw them." He said, cupping her breast. "Shit, they ARE real!"

"Heh, what did you expect?" Tsunade said proudly.

"Well damn! They are what, H-cup?"

"Yeah."

"Shit the things I would've done with these things! But hell, since you had no sex in a while let's skip that and go directly for the…" Naruto spread Tsunade's legs wide. "Bingo!"

"W-Wait, what are you doing?" She asked.

"Well, you were denying yourself for quite some time, right?" He asked, removing her panties.

Tsunade nodded.

"Then let's loosen you up a bit!" Jin stated with a smirk and leaned forward, sticking his tongue out.

"Kyah!" Tsunade gasped as her head arched backwards. "Oh damn, I already forgot that feeling!"

Naruto's smirk widened when he felt Tsunade's hands on the back of his head.

"Ah! Yes, right there!"

"Hmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled, replacing his tongue with two fingers. "Not a bad taste! And it looks like you haven't forgotten how to use your pussy well. How long ago since you fucked the last time?"

"I…"

"How long?"

Tsunade bit her lower lip. "Twenty…"

"Twenty what?"

"Twenty… years."

Naruto chocked on his breath. "You can't be serious!"

She looked away with a blush.

"You are? Holy shit! I'd rather die and…"

"Shut up and keep going!" Tsunade exclaimed, wrapping her legs around his neck and pulling him closer. "Ah! You miserable asshole!"

"Mhhmhh… Why?" Jin managed to ask from his position.

"Why didn't you say about being so good at it? We could've skipped right to this point!"

Naruto leaned back a bit so he could talk freely. "Well, I didn't know that you were so sexually frustrated." He replied, biting on her clit slightly.

"Kyaaah!" Tsunade yelled in pleasure and that moment something snapped inside of her. "To hell with it!" She quickly got up and switched places with Naruto… or more like forced him to take her place.

"Holy shit! Talking about rough…" He said in slight shock.

But Tsunade was not listening to him, she already took off his pants and… her jaw fell.

"T-That can't be right!" She stated. "You're what, fifteen?"

"Fourteen actually…"

"But that's impossible! You can't have something this big!"

Naruto shrugged with a smirk. "What can I say, I'm a genetic freak. So, are you going to just stare at it or maybe you will finally do something?"

Tsunade grinned maliciously. "Oh, I'll do something alright!" She stated, getting on top of him. "And I will keep doing that until your sperm run dry!"

"Sounds nice… Let me help!" With that Naruto grabbed Tsunade's hips and lowered her down on his dick forcibly.

"Aaaaaaah!" The blonde medic screamed. "You're in so deep!"

"Stop yelling and move your ass, Tsunade!"

Tsunade smiled and started moving up and down. "Tell me… Ah! Tell me just one thing…"

"Hmm?"

"How… Oh God! How can you be such a bastard and so irresistible at the same time?"

"A natural charm." He stated, beginning to massage her breasts. "Do you like this?"

"Y-Yes…"

"Say it!"

"I… Ah! I like this!"

"Say you love my cock!" Naruto spoke and his eyebrows rose in confusion. 'Where did that come from?'

"Oh yes! I love your cock!" Tsunade screamed in ecstasy.

Naruto's eyes widened. 'Holy fuck! She actually said it!'

"Yes more, faster!"

Naruto shrgged. "You're on top, so if you want faster then move your ass faster!"

Tsunade did, now moving back and forth instead of up and down.

"Ah!" The medic moaned, feeling how Naruto's dick was rubbing against her insides. "Kisaragi! I think I'm…"

"Cumming?"

"Y-Yes!"

"Wait, I'm close too. Hold it!"

"I can't!" Tsunade's back arched.

"I said hold it!" Naruto insisted.

"I can… Oh God! I'm cuuuuuuuuuming!" The woman screamed in orgasm, twitching uncontrollably.

"Dammit!" Naruto cursed and rolled over, getting up on his knees. "Open your mouth!"

Tsunade didn't argue and did so… only for Naruto to shove his cock right in.

"Mmm…" She moaned, sucking on it.

"Oh shit! Here it comes!"

"Mymh!" Tsunade's eyes widened when Naruto exploded right inside of her mouth. 'Too much!' She thought, spitting some out and gulping down the rest.

"Whew!" Jin exclaimed, wiping out his forehead. "That wasn't bad actually!" He said, looking down on Tsunade and…

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny?" She asked dangerously.

"Damn! I think your friend Jiraya would give his left testicle only to see you like that!"

Tsunade thought for a moment and started to chuckle as well. "Hahaha! Yeah, I don't know about the testicle, but he would give his hand for sure!"

"Hey, you know what?" Jin suddenly asked.

"What?"

"You lost to me for the third time tonight!" He stated victoriously.

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She quickly grabbed him by the hair and threw back on the bed.

"This night is far from over!" She stated, getting back on top. "Let's see who will be laughing when the morning comes!"

Naruto only grinned in response…

The next morning…

"Mmm…" Tsunade rolled on her bed. She didn't feel so good for a long time. "Kisaragi?" The legendary medic asked, but received no response. "Hey?"

Silence again.

The blonde woman rolled over only to find her room empty.

"Son of a…" She spoke, finally noticing a note on the table. "Let's see what this bastard has to say."

"Hey Tsunade!" She read.

"Thank you for the last night and sorry for not giving you a relaxation massage in the morning, but I'm not retired yet, and I have business to attend. People to kill and stuff… Well, who am I to explain that to you?"

Tsunade smiled slightly at that, but then…

"Tsunade-sama!"

"Wha… Shizune? Where have you been?"

"Sorry, I was…" Shizune started her tale, but stopped when she saw Tsunade's state. "Huh? I thought you don't sleep naked."

Tsunade looked down at herself. "Well umm… it was hot and I couldn't sleep."

"I see." Shizune nodded. "So as I was telling, I was in the local hospital helping… Wait a second, where are our money? Don't tell me you were gambling again, Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade shook her head. "What? Of course not! The money is…" She looked down at the money case… or more like the place it should've been. "What? But it was right there yesterday and…" Her eyes widened and she returned to the note quickly.

"P.S. Never trust a Rattlesnake.

P.P.S. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"SON OF A BITCH!"

End flashback…

"You didn't really think I would forgive you that easily?"

Naruto smirked. "Of course not!" He said and took out a scroll.

"What is this, Jin?" Tsubaki asked.

"You said it's not worth your while…" Jin replied and in a puff of smoke a case appeared.

"Oh?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"It has twice the amount I took from you."

The blonde medic's eyes lit up. "Well…"

"And we're going to casino tonight."

"DEAL!"

Jin grinned. "Nice to have business with you… oh, and Jiraya?"

"Y-Yes?" Toad hermit replied reluctantly.

"Time to do the you-know-what."

Jiraya paled. 'Son of a useless, miserable, cock-sucking, cum-drinking…'

...

Yep, that's it for today.

Fuck like hell and sleep well! Oh and drink cola… Actually wait, don't drink cola, better send it to me!

Darthemius.