Clare
I moved the last of my clothes back into my old room. Everything seemed right again, well in terms of living conditions at least. Darcy moved back from Africa. My mom is still in jail… Luckily, the house is paid for and my dad feels so bad about what he done and said that he's agreed to pay for the utilities and groceries… Also he's paying for the cosmetic surgery to get rid of the hideous scar on my face. Though I still haven't completely forgiven my father, having one parent halfway in the picture is better than having both out, even though I'm technically an adult… I decided to get myself emancipated. Everyone thought it was a good idea and seeing that I got my paperwork back today… I'm a free woman. Sort of…
I thanked Mr. Goldsworthy, Eli and Eliza again for letting me stay with them. Eli kissed me on the cheek while Eliza just waved. Mr. Goldsworthy gave me a big bear hug. Ya know, for a family of Emo/ punk rockers they sure are warm and fuzzy at times, but that's why you have to love them.
I packed the clothes away and then I went downstairs where Darcy and Peter were watching TV. I can see he'll be over a lot now that she's back. It's almost as if the two were never separated by the seas… They just snapped back together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Some couples are just meant to be.
"Clare, will you be okay tonight? Peter has tickets to this concert and he got me one… But if you don't want to spend the night alone I can totally skip it."
"Darcy I'll be fine. Go be young with Peter."
"Thanks Clare. You uh, got any plans with Eli?"
"No, he's having a night to himself…. It's kind of a personal thing for him."
"Oh, I hope everything is okay."
It's the anniversary of Julia's death… Eli hasn't really been himself all day. Though he hasn't been pushing me away I can tell that right now I'm not the one that's on his mind, and that is okay. I understood it when he said he just needed to be alone… I didn't actually see or hear him but I know he was crying this morning. I could tell by how swollen his eyes were and how red and raw his skin looked. I wish I could reach out and grab him, but I know that there's nothing I can do. There are some wounds only time can heal. I'm just glad that I'm not in his place right now, mourning over someone I'd given my heart to… Sometimes I still think about how close the knife came to him…
Eli
I know it's wrong to think of what could have been with Julia, especially when I have Clare and she's so perfect… I just can't help it. It happened today. The waiting at the hospital, the bad news, her mother collapsing to the floor in shock and grief. Sometimes even just the memory of it puts a weight on my chest so heavy that I welcome and seek death, but for some reason I just can't do it… I can't kill myself.
I went to the place where Julia was buried. I had her favorite flowers, Sunflowers in hand. Her parents were there too. Her mother wiping away tears and sniffling. Her father just looked down at the tombstone with a frown, he was fighting back tears. I stepped on a twig and they both looked my way.
"Eli, hello."
"Hello Mr. H , Mrs. H."
"Thank you for coming."
"How could I not. It was today at exactly this time when the car…"
"Eli, you're not still blaming yourself are you?"
"It was my fault Mrs. H… I said some nasty things to her… I shouldn't have."
"All couples have nasty fights. You didn't push her into the road son, and you didn't press the gas. It was fate."
"I know…"
"Well Eli, it was nice seeing you. We must be going now. Justin has a recital."
"How is he? He's ten now right? I remember Julie taught him how to play Violin."
"Yes he's ten and he's wonderful. Julie would be pleased with his progress. Be well Eli."
"Thanks, you too. Bye."
They walked away from the gravesite. I kneeled down and placed the flowers on Julie's grave. At first I couldn't think of anything to say. I knew Julie was no stranger so why was I treating her like one? I started to talk to her.
"I can't believe it's been two years. We were supposed to be the next Sonny and Cher by now, remember? There's so much to tell you… I met someone, her name is Clare and I love her. She's really nice… But she won't replace you in my heart. Things have changed so much since you've been gone… Can you believe I go to Degrassi now? I know, especially after I swore I'd rather go to boot camp than there but being at our old school was too much. Passing by your empty locker, sitting beside your empty desk, not hearing your angelic voice on the intercom was just too much… I had to leave…. I hope you're happy wherever you are Julie… Know that I didn't mean anything I said before well… you know… I wish I'd taken it back and made you stay with me then you'd be up and about, going to your brother's recital today… Graduating with me next year. We'd live a full life together. I wonder if you can hear me... Can you believe Eliza lives with us now? Crazy right? I remember how you two would team up against me in arguments whenever she visited… I would be so mad because there was no arguing with you two… I miss you Julie, but I know you're gone. You're probably happy wherever you are. Don't forget about me… I love you."
Tears streamed down my cheeks as the noise from the city started to buzz in my ear again. I guess I forgot I was in public, crying in public… I don't care though. I don't care who sees my tears… Not even if it's… Fitz? He was sitting beside a tombstone just talking to it. Who'd he lose?
"Emo boy who's that?"
"She was my girlfriend…"
"Oh, what happened to her?"
"She got ran over by a car after an argument we had."
"That sucks."
"Who'd you lose?"
"My little brother… He died when he was seven, I was eight. We were getting into trouble and we almost got caught. We tried to jump a fence, it was high and he fell and broke his neck."
"I'm sorry."
"Thanks."
I left without another word. I guess at least on some level now Fitz and I can relate. We've both lost people who are very close to our hearts. I got into my car and took a deep breath. I collected my thoughts and then I went back home. When I got there I just needed to go to sleep and so I did…
When I woke up I heard the sound of girls giggling. Is it really a sleepover night? I guess I shouldn't be surprised… that is what girls do. I would call Adam for a guy's night, but he's seeing someone… He won't tell me the lucky lady's name because he wants me to be surprised but, the rumor mill says it's Fiona Coyne. Hell it could be Bianca and I'd still be happy for Adam if he were happy. Now I'm all bored. My dad is having poker night with his buddies…
I wandered into the room where the girls were. It was like walking into a lion's den. Clare, Eliza, Jenna and Alli were all sitting in the floor. They looked at me, almost with daggers in their eyes. Eliza was the first to speak.
"Hey big bro… Want to join us? We're doing our nails and dishing on Degrassi's um…finest…"
"I'll pass."
"You look bored."
"Yeah… I am."
"Well my Fitzy bear isn't doing anything tonight… Maybe you two could hang out."
"No thanks."
"Eli…"
"Clare?"
"It might be a good idea. I mean you two do have something in common now… Your sister. It wouldn't kill you."
"No, the night itself would not but Fitz just might."
"Big bro he apologized, plus he's been doing a lot better… he's in therapy. I think if you two work on your relationship you might become friends. Do it for the baby!"
"What! What baby! Eliza no! You had sex with him and got pregnant! I can…"
"Ha got ya! I'm not pregnant, but Jenna is and your negative attitude about making new friends and burying hatchets could make the little tike squirmy…"
"Fine… call Fitzy boy up. Tell him to bring root beers and a stomach for classic gore."
"Yay!"
Within ten minutes I was opening the front door. Fitz was there with… real beers… Okay, he gets one cool point for that. I took them to the fridge and he made himself at home. The gore fest commenced.
"So emo boy drinks…"
"Like a fish."
"Bad habit."
"Good feeling."
"What are they doing up there?"
"Painting their nails and gossiping."
"And you weren't invited?"
"Just got a mani pedi…"
"Clare made you do this huh?"
"Yeah… She did… Eliza made you?"
"She sort of threatened to break it off with me if I didn't."
"Ouch. You have your hands full. Just wait until she has a bipolar episode. That'll be fun."
"Can't wait. So… Since we have to be civil… Is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"Is Saint Clare really not a saint anymore?"
"She's still a saint, just with a bit less…. Virtue"
"Wow, you nailed Saint Clare… I'm impressed. Another round, on me."
So this wasn't as bad as I thought. Fitz has decent taste in movies and beer. I will admit that I found out more than I wanted to about him and my sister but… he's not such a bad guy anymore. He's not on the buds list just yet though. Well he wasn't until we got drunk…
"Dude, no I'm... I'm sorry I tried to stab you! I wasn't thinking! I went to jail!"
"I know… dude but it was, my bat…ha...my bad... I didn't have to poison you!"
"Don't mention it! I would have (drunk hiccup) done the same thing!"
"Buddy!"
"Pal!"
Clare
I came down the stairs to a shocking sight. It was Eli and Fitz, surrounded by beers bottles, beer cans and shot glasses, engaging in a manly hug. I called Eliza down quickly. She couldn't believe her eyes either. After they let got they patted each on the back. Fitz grabbed his keys and staggered to the door.
"Well I gots to be getting home..."
"Na man… I ca (drunk hiccup) drive…"
Eli stumbled over the coffee table and fell, busting his lip on the floor. He was so drunk that he started laughing. I don't think I've ever seen him drunk before. I don't think I even knew Eli was a drinker.
"Eli, honey."
"Clare, baby, sweetie, my sugar, and my honey… what is…up, down all around?"
"Eli, you're too drunk to drive and Fitz so are you."
"What? Baby I am good, to, gooooo!"
"No, you aren't."
I wrestled the keys away from Eli while Eliza simply slipped the keys away from Fitz by trapping him in a kiss and a hug. Why didn't I think of that? Oh right, because this is Eli and he's insane. When I finally got the keys he acted like an angry five year old.
"But I gots to take Fitz home!"
"No, Eli!"
"I wanna go to McDonalds!"
"Tomorrow!"
"Claaaareee!"
"Fine, you and Fitz get in the damn car, I will drive."
"Yay!"
Eliza pulled me to the side while Eli and Fitz tried to give each other a drunken high five; they both missed and ended up on the floor. They weren't fit for the general public right now but… I have to do something to shut them up.
"Clare, can you drive?"
"No… but how hard can it be?"
"Harder than it looks… Look, you better let me have those keys… But you are coming with. Someone has to watch the twins."
"Fine…"
We got into Morty, putting Eli and Fitz in the middle. They were singing songs and then Christmas carols. Why couldn't things have been this easy in the beginning? I guess because there was no liquor involved. ..Eliza's driving skills were actually good, so she got us to Fitz's place safely.
"Bye Fitz!"
"Bye Eli!"
"Bye Clare!"
"Bye Fitz!"
"Bye Eliza!"
"Goodbye Fitzy bear…"
He disappeared into the house and then we had to take Eli to McDonalds. I swear, I've never seen someone go through five Big Macs, a large drink and two boxes of fries so easily. He finished before we got back to his house and by the time we pulled up in the Goldsworthy driveway…He was sleeping like a baby.
Eliza and I couldn't wake him, but we knew he was alive because he was snoring, mumbling and shooing our hands away. We ended up dragging him out of the car to carry him into the house.
"Okay Clare, you grab his arms and I'll get his legs."
"This should be easy."
"Yeah, I mean how much can he weigh…."
We picked Eli up and instantly realized that things are not always as they seem. Eli was a lot heavier than he looked! We nearly dropped him several times. Luckily we managed to get him to the living room couch at least. We flipped him over on his belly and then covered him up with a blanket.
I was beat when we made it back upstairs. Alli and Jenna inquired about our adventure… Eliza and I just looked at each other, where in the heck do we start?
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