A/N: Oh no, writer's block! I apologise for the long delay, I have been overwhelmed at work and catching up on extra language lessons.
PLEASE VOTE ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE! Choose your next male lead for my next Naruto story! ^^
Many thanks to riptocs, nemaara and eclipsed flower for beta help.
I know that Jiraiya summons toads but the costume he was wearing was a frog so... yeah…
In honour of Yahiko's and Konan's birthday on 20th February.
I do not own Naruto.
Recap:
"Sorry guys, looks like the scroll doesn't have another story to give us. It remains blank."
Leaving the guys no further words, she returned back to her room, unaware that Pein had a small frown on his face; he had heard a small pitch of distress in Konan's voice.
Back in the privacy of her room, Konan unrolled the parchment, revealing the words that had appeared earlier.
BFFs: Best Frogs Forever
Konan reminisces. Written in remembrance of Yahiko.
"Konan." She looked up to see Pein looking down at the scroll's text.
-end recap-
Konan watched as the frown on Pein's face deepened while he scanned the scroll's text.
"This is not the first time that Yahiko's been mentioned," Konan explained. "It mentioned him in the song fic that Sasori, Itachi, and I had read together.
I just ignored it because the stories werepure drivel,just mindless fun. But it almost seems that this strange scroll knows way too much about us. Even things that we have never told anyone else about..."
Pein was deep in thought for a while before saying, "I was unable to find out from where this scroll had come from. When Kakuzu and Hidan found it, Hidan had mentioned that he heard some weird laughter before he was knocked unconscious. What I don't understand is since whoever dropped this scroll on them did it as easily as they had, then why was it necessary for Hidan to be knocked out?
Cross-analysing by Itachi and Sasori also revealed nothing special about this scroll; it doesn't contain any traces of chakra, and never throughout the history of shinobi has such an item ever been mentioned, not even in legends or myths."
Pein looked a little frustrated. Konan placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
"Perhaps we should read this story further before making any decisions on whether this scroll might be a form of attack. So far, although it seems to possess an amount of knowledge which is more than comfortable for us, it doesn't reveal too much in its stories and entertains more than harms."
"You are too trusting, Konan. This may be only an inanimate object, but in the hands of outsiders, it could ruin us."
"Not if we keep it on us and within the base at all times. It might contain keys to unlocking our organisation's objectives! I don't think destroying it is the right action to take right now."
Pein looked at Konan, who had a determined look on her face. Knowing that she was right, he figured that continuing to read these supposed fictions would do no harm. For now anyway.
He gave the nod for Konan to begin reading the story that had mentioned their best friend's name.
It was that time of the year again - 20th February, Yahiko's and Konan's birthday.
Konan and Nagato were having a meal together in quiet celebration and mourning.
As they ate silently, Konan looked upon the forever empty place at the table and a memory she could still see crystal clear surfaced.
-Flashback-
Yahiko plucked at the material clinging to his skin. It was so uncomfortable! Konan, annoyed with his fidgeting asked him to quit shifting.
He huffed and pouted at her, whining about how embarrassing the suit was. Konan gave him a onceover and held in a giggle. He looked so silly!
Pein glanced at Konan.
A small smile was tugging at Konan's lips as she read the story. She recalled how they had all looked so silly in the frog suits Jiraiya-sensei had made them wear. And their reactions when they had first seen Jiraiya in the frog suit!
The three of them were gathered together for another training session with Jiraiya-sensei. He called it the Water on a Frog's Face Training, which involved training outside in the endless rain of Amegakure. This was to teach them to remain calm in face of any adversity.
Jiraiya-sensei had explained about how the training's name had been derived from the Japanese expression of referring to staying calm no matter what happens to you, just like how a frog will remain calm even if you sprinkle water on its face.
Unfortunately Jiraiya-sensei got dramatic at times, like now, when he had decided that wearing the frog suits would get them into character.
Yahiko sulked as Nagato joined in Konan's laughter. The three of them were practicing by themselves that day, as Jiraiya-sensei was out replenishing their food supplies. "Jiraiya-sensei is not here so why do we have to wear these stupid things?" Yahiko pouted. Nagato smiled, "I don't mind." "Of course you don't. You don't mind anything." "Alright, quit sulking and let's start our training," said Konan. They all gasped for air, winded from their intense training session. Rain continued to pour, causing their eyes to narrow to slits to avoid getting water into them. The wind continued howling around the bare expanse of land, with no trees to sway in its breeze. Yahiko flopped onto the ground, immediately becoming a large muddy froggy mess and gave a loud sigh. Konan was very amused by his actions. She flopped down next to him, joining him in the ranks of muddy froggies. Yahiko gave a glance at Konan next to him before switching his sight to Nagato. The guy seemed a little...twitchy? "Nagato?" The red-haired man was startled out of whatever he was thinking about and smiled at his orange-haired friend. "Yes?" "What's wrong?" He sat up and gave a questioning look. "What do you mean what's wrong? Nothing's wrong." "I mean, you weren't really concentrating during our training and now you seem lost in thought. Not to mention, you seem nervous and you're shivering. Are you ill?" "No no. I'm not sick, don't worry about me. I'm probably just tired, I couldn't get to sleep till almost dawn." Yahiko frowned at Nagato, clearly not believing his excuse. He stomped over and looked straight into the purple-ringed eyes that avoided his gaze. "Speak." Yahiko commanded his friend. By now Konan had also sat up and was glancing between the two of them, concerned. "I...I was just worried about you," was Nagato's soft reply. Yahiko was lost. "Huh?" "Well, I know that you must be very uncomfortable around Konan and I." Yahiko's brain spiralled even deeper into the abyss of 'Incomprehensible'. "What?" "After all, you don't like showing off the outlines of your..." Nagato blushed, the shade of red matching his hair. "privates..." Yahiko was dumbfounded. Konan just gaped at them.
Pein was dumbfounded. Konan just gaped at Pein.
Yahiko wasn't sure how to respond. Did he even hear Nagato correctly?
"Wha-?" Yahiko asked dumbly.
"I mean, I know about your past," Nagato said with a look of pity on his face.
"WHAT past?" Yahiko started to feel a little outraged at Nagato's insensible statements.
"You told me once that you were afraid of the dark?"
"So?"
"And that you were afraid of monsters that came in the night. Monsters that would take away everything that you were. You also said that the monsters always took the shape of your uncle."
"Uh huh…" Yahiko was no closer in understanding Nagato's logic.
"Well, according to a scroll I read about the human mind on trauma, it probably meant that the relative uncle often molested you in your sleep. And so you were envisioning him and all monsters to have the same likeness. You were afraid that he would take away your innocence!"
Yahiko couldn't speak. He was too busy trying to decide whether to laugh or to get mad at Nagato and Konan, who was obviously holding in her laughter.
Pein couldn't speak. He was too busy trying to decide whether to get mad at the story or at Konan who was obviously holding in her laughter. She was failing at it however, her shoulders already starting to shake with the effort.
"Laugh."
"Hmm?" Konan looked up at him before looking away hurriedly, a string of giggles threatening to pour out of her as she saw Pein's brow twitch.
"Laugh before you get a stroke."
And so she did.
Pein never knew Konan could laugh for that long. Heck, he didn't even know any human who could laugh for 10 minutes straight. Every time she was almost done laughing, a look at Pein's expressionless face would cause her to dissolve into another fit of snorts, giggles and sniggering.
Konan wiped a tear from her eye, calming herself down once again. "Are you done?" Pein asked. Konan nodded before looking over at Pein. Pein's exasperation increased as she gave a chortle and another cycle of laughs began.
"I-I'm sorry." Konan gasped. "I never knew you two had that conversation."
"We didn't."
"That's not what the story is suggesting."
Pein sighed. Clearly Konan was aggravating him on purpose. "Well the story says you were there too. And since you have no memory of it, it's clearly a piece of fiction."
"I don't know. Wait…I think a faint memory is returning. Frog suits. Talks about molester uncles…"
Pein just gave her a tired look. "Just read."
Konan gave a small smirk before returning to the story.
"That doesn't even make any sense!" said Yahiko.
"Yes it does." Nagato folded his arms, looking like a huffy child.
"No it doesn't!" Yahiko copied his actions.
Konan, not knowing what on earth was going on, decided to copy both their actions.
And so that was what Jiraiya returned to that evening, 3 tweens in frog suits out in the rain, looking sternly at each other with their arms folded.
-end flashback-
Konan looked down at her bowl of rice, and gave a small sigh, drawing Nagato's attention.
"Memories?" he asked.
She nodded and he held her hand in support. She explained the memory that she had just thought of and he gave a small smile.
"I remember that. Yahiko ignored me for days until I finally promised to never read any more medical scrolls or at least, to not apply him as a subject to the topics I've read. Jiraiya-sensei laughed for days on end."
They both smiled at each other wistfully, then resumed their act of quiet mourning. Konan's hand remained in Nagato's the entire time.
The story ended. Konan rolled up the scroll before looking up at Pein for further instructions.
"I suppose we could keep the scroll a little longer. As long as it doesn't pose too much of a danger for now," Pein relented. "However once I have deemed it to be a danger, I am to hear no protests on the immediate destruction of this thing."
Konan nodded, keeping the scroll back into the folds of her cloak. Pein disappeared in a poof of smoke.
Meow meow woof! Meow meow woof! Meow meow woof woof!
What on earth? Konan had just walked into the base's finally clean living room to see Hidan and Tobi making weird singing noises and wearing shirts, featuring a cat and a dog's face respectively, which were also making animal sounds.
The rest of the Akatsuki were scattered around the couches watching with deadpan faces at the 'show'.
"The shirts came with the boxes of cheese that Kakuzu ordered for his 'cheese-empire idea'," Itachi came up to Konan and stood beside her, looking slightly weary of his fellow criminals' antics.
"I can understand Tobi doing this. But why is Hidan playing the fool along with him?"
"Tobi did that first. And then Hidan realised that Kakuzu found it annoying." Itachi didn't need to say anything else.
Konan sighed and looked around at the dozens of boxes around them. "What exactly is Kakuzu planning to do with all this cheese?"
"I plan to get everyone's help in moulding them into cheese sculptures," Kakuzu came up on the other side of Konan, a vein in his forehead throbbing at the continuous animal wails. "Then we can sell them super overpriced and reap the profits."
"No," Itachi started to walk away.
"And here I thought Konan had just emphasised teamwork," Itachi paused in his steps at Kakuzu's statement.
"Why not? Itachi, you and the rest will help out Kakuzu's financial plans. The money's for our use anyway."
Itachi just hn-ed, knowing that it was pointless to even try and argue his way out with Konan. He just hoped that perhaps Kisame, Deidara and Hidan would make a big enough fuss for him to slip away.
It didn't work.
Itachi stood over the stove, watching cheeses of various shades of yellow melt into bubbling puddles. Even after all the shouting, cursing and weapon flailing, Kakuzu had managed to, with the help of Konan's lecturing on teamwork of course, drag them all into his cheese business.
Konan and Pein, as usual, had managed to get out of the upcoming cheese business.
At least he didn't have to be the one shaping the cheese. Itachi glanced over at Kisame and Tobi; the blue man looked miserable as he helped Tobi pour warm melted cheese into some sculpting tools. More cheese was on him than on the tools, but that wasn't surprising considering Tobi's excitement at being able to play with cheese.
Hidan and Deidara were churning. The sight of the two idiots vibrating like mad while vigorously solidifying and blending the cheeses together almost made Itachi laugh. They did cuss out their lungs at catching his smirk though.
Sasori and Zetsu were controlling their tempers, the both of them seemingly calm as they sliced the cheeses into sizes suitable for melting. In actual fact, they both were visualising the cheese as their fellow Akatsuki members, having fun slicing into their 'screaming' faces and stabbing them with butter knives.
Kakuzu would handle the selling after the cheese had been made.
Konan smiled at the "wonderful sight of them working well together for once" and left them to their cheese-making.
As they watched her walk off, the conversation that Konan had with Pein earlier played through their heads. 'Who were or is Yahiko and Nagato?' were their simultaneous thoughts.
Turns out, Konan had forgotten to turn off the intercom switchboard when she had hurried off earlier and the whole base had been tuned in to the entire story and the 'confidential' talk between Konan and Pein. It seemed like their leaders were hiding something from them; and now they were all secretly curious. Well, except for Tobi of course.
Several days later, Kakuzu was happily counting his bundle of green from the sales of his cheese in the corner and everyone else was lost in their daily activities. It was one of their usual days, but thankfully peaceful for once.
That is, until Tobi's shout of "Deidara-senpai!" was followed by Deidara's shout of "Katsu!" which shook the entire base, which caused Kakuzu's stack of money to topple and reminded him of the cost of damages that would probably follow and interrupted Hidan from his ritual in his room.
Chaos abounded.
After all the intense try-to-kill-each-other session, they finally settled down.
"I want to hear a fucking story," declared Hidan.
Tobi, with surprisingly good timing, then came into the room, limping slightly from the "love-bomb" that his senpai had given him, and tossed the scroll over to Sasori. "Tobi got it from Konan-san! Tobi is a good boy!"
Sasori obliged, unrolling the scroll, hoping for something else to entertain him besides imagining killing cheese people. He got his wish as he smirked down at the story that appeared.
Kisame's Baby
Kisame is pregnant! Confusion and chaos ensues. A male pregnancy story.
"What the fuck?!" Almost everyone cussed at the same time.
"How- wha- I don't even. WHAT?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" Kisame exploded.
All the guys looked disturbed except for Sasori, who seemed amused.
"Well then, let's get straight to it," Sasori prepared to read the story.
"Oh hell no! I ain't hearing about some fish baby coming from a man! Jashin-sama would not approve!"
"What fish baby?" Konan and Pein had just walked into the room, hearing something strange.
"Kisame's pregnant," replied Deidara matter-of-factly, pointing at the blue man.
"Yay Kisame-san is going to have a baby! Tobi likes babies!"
Konan's and Pein's eyes landed on Kisame who looked like he was about to have a stroke.
"Well, let's hear it then!" Konan said happily, sitting down on a chair and dragging Pein down next to her.
"NO!" Kisame protested loudly, reaching for the scroll.
Sasori held the scroll away from him, trying to push the larger man away.
"Alright! Alright! The story in the scroll has changed!" Sasori snapped. "Now get off of me!"
Kisame calmed down slightly and fumed quietly back to his seat.
Sasori looked down at the scroll and read a new story summary.
Stranger
A stranger enters Kisame's life and turns it topsy-turvy. A tale of love, tragedy, drama and friendship. Mildly disturbing scenes.
"Maybe the blue man finally got a damn chick!" laughed Hidan.
-end chapter-
A/N: The entire fic within my fic is fictional. Although they did wear frog suits (so cute!) and the Water on a Frog's Face Training was indeed conducted by Jiraiya.
By the way, anyone wondered how Konan felt standing next to, speaking to and looking at her best friend through her dead crush's corpse everyday? D:
Once again, PLEASE VOTE ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE!
Response to previous reviews:
BLOWBITO UCHIHAHAHA: I can only hope that when the time comes, I can do the situation justice.
The Phantom Dragon: Whoops! Oh well, at least we got evil little Tobi to make them gift each other. Can't put him into the spotlight so often. They shall take turns. :D
DutchyPuppy: Can't wait! ;) Enjoy!
Unknown: Thank you! I'll try my best to update more often! There will definitely be more! (:
Guest: Thanks! I'll definitely write more! :)