I was the beauty and he was the beast. I was the rose and he was the thorn. I love him with all of my heart but he wanted to push me away. Now I would follow him into the darkness, hoping he would give me a glance.

Summary

A beautiful girl with a secret she needed to keep. Who would ever accept that Katharine Keeler was in love with Severus Snape? Not her friends and especially not her mother. After a year of passion and romance he pushes her away and instead of running she follows him to the darkest part of his life. She wants to be with him, she wants him to love her and she would do anything for him. Even if that meant risking her own life.

Dark - charmer . xo : Well another update for you guys! Quick right? I actually had this chapter done hours after I had posted chapter twelve but wanted to wait until I had chapter fourteen pretty much written out to post it. The writing bug has bit me and I finally got through the parts that were causing me to drag this story along.

Some other things. If you check out my profile I have added some things including new pictures, a list of song which makes a little soundtrack and there is also a poll regarding what may happen to Katharine in the end of the story. If you guys do look (specifically at the soundtrack) you will see I have listed one of the songs as 'Lettie's Theme' and you probably are thinking 'who the heck is Lettie?'. Lettie is a new character that will be introduced very soon and will more then likely be a main person in the story.

So onto the chapter! Oh a heads up- things are going to get darker starting in chapter fourteen ;)

Thanks for reading guys!

My head was pounding and my body was cold; for a minute I forgot where I was and how I got there. I sat up and saw the two letters sitting on my desk then I looked over and saw the window was open. I rubbed my eyes and stretch before getting up to shut the window.

When I looked down at the letters I saw one had been addressed to Addison and one to my mother. My curiosity got the best of me and I tore open both letters. They both had the same thing scrawled on them.

Would you still love me no matter what I do?

I ran my fingers across the words and my head began to spin. Would they still love me even if I became a Death Eater? I left the letters on my desk and headed for the bathroom to take a shower.

Slowly the events of the night came back to me including the kiss I shared with Severus. I wasn't sure how I was going to react to him when I saw him today. I didn't know how he was going to react to me. Was it going to make things better or worse?

I really didn't know.

Another thing that came back to me was the letter I wrote to Lucius. I didn't remember what I exactly wrote but I knew I had sent him something. Somehow, last night, I had come to the conclusion that Lucius was the only person I could turn to and the person who I could trick the easiest. He wouldn't be paying attention to my face or even to what I was saying; he would focus on my lips, my chest and my legs.

I took my time in the shower, knowing I didn't have any classes to worry about today. When I got out, the pounding in my head had almost completely stopped and my stomach growled. I looked at the clock and realized if I hurried, I would be able to make it for lunch.

I dressed in something comfortable and made my way down to the Great Hall. I took my usual spot at the table and a few of the professors asked me how my birthday was. I briefly explained how Addison made an appearance and that we went out for a few drinks.

I didn't even notice when Severus sat down beside me until I looked over. He didn't look at me; he seemed to be focusing on his meal.

"Severus Katharine was just telling us what a good night she had. Did you know it was her birthday yesterday?"

For a second, I thought he was going to say something about him catching me staggering through the halls last night. I played out the scene in my mind; he was snicker and glance over in my direction with some snide comment regarding me.

But he didn't.

Instead he glanced over and nodded. "Yes I was aware."

I wanted to say something but didn't. Instead I turned away from him and continued to talk while eating. If he didn't want to say anything regarding last night, then neither would I.

After lunch I headed back up to my room but I took my time; I took in everything that was surrounding me and ran my hand over the wall. Sending that letter to Lucius meant I was one step closer to loosing this all.

Hogwarts had been my home for over half of my life; it was where I met my best friend, where I had figured out what I wanted to do with my life and found that someone I wanted to spend my life with. My thoughts trailed back to Severus.

Was he worth giving up my home for?

My lips began to tingle with the fog of last night's kiss taking over my mind. That kiss was filled with more passion then he had ever shown me before. I had only dreamt of a kiss like that when I was younger and trying to look into my future.

I dreamt of finding a man that I loved and being with him regardless of his flaws. Though I didn't think it would be this extensive, I told myself it didn't matter. I would accept him no matter what.

He was worth it. Regardless of the consequences.

When I arrived back in my room, the letters I had written before stuck out to me like an elephant in the room. I folded them back into envelopes and readdressed them. I walked to the owlery (which wasn't too far away from my rooms) and found two owls to attach the letters to.

I watched as both flew away into the sky and the words in the letter echoed throughout my mind.

Would you still love me no matter what I do?

Life went on normally and Severus and I seemed to be back in the familiar pattern we had been at before, when we were seeing each other. It felt comforting but wrong at the same time. Was he just being like this because he didn't want me to bring up the kiss?

I was choosing to not bring it up either way.

I hadn't received a response for anyone for a few weeks so I was eager when two letters had been dropped in front of me. I opened the first one from my mother, deciding to get the worst response over with first. As expected, there was a decently sized letter written in my mother's elegant handwriting.

Katharine,

What is the meaning of all of this? I haven't heard from you in months and now all the sudden, you send me a letter like that? I am afraid of what is happened to you up at Hogwarts. You use to send me a letter once a week at least letting me know thing were okay but now? Nothing. I don't know what to think anymore Katharine. You have me worried.

Things have being going fine up here, I have been having lunch with the Minister once a week and he's been keeping me up on all the latest news.

I heard that the Tri Wizard tournament is going well. I also heard that Harry Potter is doing very well so far and is tied with the other Hogwarts champion. I can only assume that you have been helping Harry the best you can since you sudden fondness for the boy after the Qudditch World Cup.

How are things going with Severus Snape? I am eager to see how that man has decided to treat my daughter lately.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Mother

Ps. To answer your question, you are my daughter, my flesh and blood. I have loved you since before I saw you for the first time. I will love you with all my heart despite the choices you may make in your life.

For once I was glad that I had written to my mother. I had expected her to give me more of a hard time but surprisingly she was easier on me than usual. Herlast words made tears threaten to leave my eyes and I sighed. I folded up the letter and stuck in back in the envelope then turned to the second letter from Addison.

Hey Katharine!

Did you write this when you were drunk? Your handwriting is awful! Either way, of course I will always love you no matter what happens! I'm your best friend and I will always be here for you no matter what! If there is something bugging you please just let me know.

I told you I don't care about the Snape thing. Is this what all of this is about?

Write back soon!

Addy.

Half of me hoped that she hadn't remembered about Severus and I but half of me hoped she had. I was happy to see that she was still saying she didn't care about my love for Severus (though she was under the impression it was a crush) and I told myself to make sure that I write them back as soon as I could.

I was surprised I still hadn't heard from Lucius yet but I kept telling myself that it was because he lived further away than my mother or Addison did. Either that or my owl got lost on the way or even got caught in a storm.

I didn't let myself think that he wouldn't help me.

So instead I focused on writing lesson plans and figuring out some way I could avoid the Weasley's twin's pranks on April fool's day which, was coming up in the next few days.

As the days went on, I felt calm about everything which was odd to me because I expected to feel more on edge. I spent my free times sitting outside, watching the snow begin to disappear and writing letters to Addison. Her life was almost as bleak as mine; the most exciting thing to happen to her lately was that her favorite mirror fell off the wall and broke.

I could almost hear her laugh as I told her about sitting with the black crows as the cawed around me almost as to ask me what I was doing.

Honestly Katharine, making friends with crows? Do I need to come visit you again?

I smiled and folded the letter up again with a small sigh.

I jumped slightly when someone took a seat beside me. I turned and saw Severus staring out the way I had been a few minutes ago.

"Hello Severus, is there something I can do for you?"

He didn't look at me. "I don't know what you are up to Katharine but I am getting an odd feeling it is something you shouldn't be messing around with."

"I'm not doing anything." I lied still waiting for him to make eye contact.

"Katharine I'm not an idiot." He finally faced me. "All the sudden you stopped doing what you do…."

"Which is what exactly?" I felt the urge to cross my arms.

He glared at my interrupted. "I don't think I need to explain your childish antics to you. You don't just stop trying, it's not like you. So I am going to say this to you, stop it now Katharine. Forget whatever notion has materialized in your mind and go back to being delightfully clueless."

Even when he was trying to sound helpful he still managed to be an arrogant jerk. I stood up and brushed a bit of snow that had fallen on my robe. "If there was any scheme in my head it wouldn't be any concern of yours. Not only that if I had put my mind to something who even said you could change it."

I began to walk away and he grabbed my wrist. "Katharine do you realize what these people are capable of? The Dark Lord is sadistic and unforgiven; he would take pleasure in something that would cause you pain for years. He would make you kill your best friend just for a laugh. How can you be so brainless to not see the danger?"

"Is that what he did to you?" I snapped shaking my wrist away from him. "Made you kill your best friend for a laugh?"

I expected a shot back but he became silent. My stomach twisted in a knot and I felt horrible; he looked away from me for a moment then stared at me straight in the eyes.

"He did didn't he?"

"No, he killed her himself." I was surprised to hear his best friend was a female but didn't say anything about it. "That's what made me become a double agent."

I couldn't help it; I reached out for him and pulled him into my arms. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry just promise me you will quit whatever you have planned." He was reluctant but hugged me back gently.

"I…" I wanted to promise him but the words wouldn't come out. I pulled away from him and began to walk away feeling my tears turn cold. I didn't give him a chance to stop him and I don't think he would have even if I gave him the opportunity.

I ended up in my rooms and I locked the door to ensure no one would bug me. I paced around my room while running my fingers through my hair, trying to get myself to calm down.

I knew I should listen to Severus, trust what he was saying was true but I knew that if I did that, any relationship we could have would never be what I wanted from him. I stopped pacing when I caught a glance of myself in the mirror.

The last time I studied myself was when Addison had come for my birthday. I had the same look in my eyes that scared me the last time but now it was more intense. I threw off my robe and looked down at my arm, picture a mark that matched Severus's.

"I can do this." I tried to tell myself. "I have to do this."

I tried to look evil but it ended up looking pathetic; I thought about Severus and the look just go worse. The tears suddenly came back to my eyes and I began to cry. I knew I couldn't do this, not the way things were going now. I wasn't tough, I wasn't evil and I really don't think I had the strength to kill anybody.

I banged my head lightly against the mirror, trying not to look at myself out of embarrassment.

I had been this way as long as I could remember; weak, pathetic and did as I was told. Even though I fought Severus tooth and nail about my plans, half of my mind had already caved to his demands. He must have had some idea what I was going to do. Then again he also probably knew that I would be laughed at and turned away instantly.

But then why would he be mad about it.

Did he think I was endangering him or even myself? Did he think that the Dark Lord will kill me the minute I showed up, wanting to join them. But then did he really expected me to get to that point at meeting him?

Then a switch flicked on in my mind.

Maybe the problem wasn't that he didn't think I could do it. Maybe the problem was that he thought that I could. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Yes Death Eaters were thought to be vicious and ruthless but there was one key skill they required. A skill that many I am sure found hard to have. Something I excelled at more than anyone else I knew.

They needed to be submissive.

I felt my body tingle with excitement. I could do this. I was pure blooded and was extremely skilled with potions and magical creature. I would do as I was told and would remain faithful to the Dark Lord so long as Severus pretended he was.

As if it was a sign from above, there was a tapping on the window. My owl had come bag and carried a letter tied to its foot. I opened the window, took the letter from her and put her back in the cage with some fresh food and water.

I shut the window and tore open the paper, reading over the letter three times before it registered in my mind. Lucius had responded in the exact way I had expected him too; ten minutes ago I would have threw the letter away but now, now there was no doubt in my mind I could complete the task I set before myself.

Katharine,

I was surprised but extremely delighted to hear from you once again. I thought after our time at the world cup that you would be reluctant to be in contact with me again. Regardless I am very curious on what I can help you with exactly and I will gladly meet with you in the next few weeks.

Due to my busy schedule the next day I would be able to meet you is May 4th. Shall we meet at Hogs Head around 7:00pm?

Lucius Malfoy.

A smile found my lips and I picked up my quill to write back.

Lucius,

May 6th at Hogs Head sounds perfect. See you then at 7pm.

Katharine.