I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.

Off With His Foot!

Hiccup fidgeted in his seat, casting nervous glances at the Great Hall doors every so often. It was relatively late in the morning and Ruffnut had yet to burst through the wooden doors, shouting curses and waving an axe in the air. "Tuffnut, are you sure your sister is alright?"

Tuffnut glanced up from his eggs, an amused look on his face. "Dude, you dared Astrid to cut off her trademark braids. Of course she isn't alright!"

"She deserved it," Astrid grumbled, tearing off a piece of her bread. "And besides, her hair will grow back."

"Yeah, at the speed of a snail." Snotlout snorted. "She's really going to kill you guys."

"Hiccup was the one who dared me." Astrid defended. "And I never back down from a challenge."

Hiccup gaped at her. "Whoa! So now you're putting the blame on me? You know, I don't recall getting so jealous when you kissed Snotlout."

"Ooh!" Snotlout laughed. "He burned you!"

Astrid went still. Hiccup cursed his big mouth, even though he knew what he said was true. "Look, all I'm saying is that it isn't fair for you to put the blame on me when you were the one who wanted revenge."

"And that makes me a terrible person, huh?" Astrid snapped, glaring at Hiccup angrily. "Wanting Ruffnut to know what happens when she uses the dares to make a move on my man makes me a horrible human being, right?"

"Kind of." Snotlout replied before Hiccup could open his mouth. "You heard the dude. He was fine when you kissed me on a dare. You're the one who flipped out when the tables were turned."

Astrid flipped her plate into the air, sending food flying everywhere. The blonde got up and stormed out of the hall. Hiccup burrowed his face in his hands with a groan. "I just got her to stop being mad at me yesterday."

"Well, you did have a good point." Fishlegs said hesitantly. "It wasn't really fair of her to get mad at you when you didn't get mad at her."

"Right now, I think Astrid is the least of your worries." Tuffnut remarked, peering over Hiccup's shoulder.

The lanky boy froze when a hand clamped tightly on his shoulder. "Have you come to kill me?" He asked weakly.

The response was a slap across the head. Hiccup yelped and rubbed the sore spot as Ruffnut sauntered around to the other side of the table and took a seat beside her brother. Her hair hung just below her shoulders, the length not even long enough for her to put it in a ponytail.

"You'll get what's coming to you in due time." Ruffnut bit out, grabbing her brother's plate and stabbing the fish furiously. "And when I say in due time, I mean really soon."

Hiccup gulped and shrunk in his seat.

"So, who was the person who did the dirty deed?"

Hiccup remained silent, despite his earlier remark to Astrid that it was not fair for him to take all the blame in this situation.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I have a pretty good idea of who it is, anyway."

"You probably do." Hiccup muttered. "I better get going. I have some, uh, things to do."

The boy jumped from his seat and raced out of the hall. The second he was gone, Ruffnut turned to Fishlegs and pointed a fork at him. "I dare you to steal Hiccup's prosthetic foot and hide it."

A silence descended over the table. Fishlegs gaped at the girl for a moment before squeaking, "Isn't that kind of cruel?"

Ruffnut shot him an unimpressed look and gestured to her choppy hair. Fishlegs swallowed. "Oh. Right. Um...I pass."

Ruffnut threw her hands in the air. "Seriously?! You're wasting a pass on this?"

"I can't do that to Hiccup!" Fishlegs defended.

"Oh! Oh! I'll do it!" Snotlout waved his hand eagerly.

"Fine," Ruffnut agreed. "Just don't hide it too hard. He does need it to walk, after all."

"No problem." Snotlout got up and cracked his knuckles. "I'll do it right now."

"Are you sure about that?" Fishlegs asked, picturing the wrath of Stoick if Snotlout was witnessed ambushing Hiccup and running off with his prosthetic.

"Totally. I'm stealth. No one but Hiccup will notice a thing."

"Of course Hiccup will notice, stupid. You'll be taking his foot."Ruffnut rolled her eyes.

Snotlout raced out of the hall and into the morning light. He squinted against the sun and peered around the village in search for the familiar lanky frame. He jogged down the slope and hurried over to Hiccup's house and rapped on the door.

Stoick opened it and Snotlout smiled innocently. "Have you seen Hiccup?"

"Isn't he in the hall with you kids?" Stoick asked, absentmindedly rubbing his uneven beard.

"He was, but he left. I was wondering if he came back home but I guess not." Snotlout backed up. "I'll check someplace else."

"Alright then." Stoick inclined his head and Snotlout took off, running across the dewy grass in search for his cousin. He spotted the boy standing on the Hofferson porch, talking to someone through the closed door.

"Should have guessed," Snotlout snorted and jogged up to the boy. "What's up, cuz?"

Hiccup paused in his pleading for Astrid to open the door to glare at Snotlout in annoyance. "Trying to get the girl I like very much to let me in." He said flatly.

"Well, you like you've been standing for a while. Why not take a rest?"

Before Hiccup could blink he was on his back on the wooden porch and Snotlout was racing away, his prosthetic foot clutched under his arm. Hiccup gaped after his cousin and stared at the place where foot should have been before scowling and hauling himself to one foot.

"What was that?" Astrid asked, finally opening the door to see what the source of the thump was.

"Snotlout took my foot." Hiccup said through gritted teeth, wobbling slightly. He started hopping after his cousin and Astrid watched for a moment, torn between amusement and annoyance at the Jorgenson boy.

"Do you need some help?" She called after him.

Hiccup paused and turned his head slightly. "If you're willing to offer it, yes."

Astrid closed the door behind her and jogged over to Hiccup. She looped an arm around his shoulders and helped him along. "I'm sorry about earlier." She muttered. "You do have a point. It wasn't fair of me to get mad at you when I did the same thing first."

"It's okay." Hiccup smiled, relieved that she was no longer angry with him.

Just as they started walking by the Haddock household, Stoick stepped out and spotted his son. "Hiccup! Snotlout was looking for-"He stopped, noticing his missing prosthetic foot. "What happened?" He demanded.

"A big, savage beast snatched my foot and took off." Hiccup answered as they continued along. "Don't worry about it, I'll get it back."

"Oh, Hiccup! What happened to you?"

Hiccup did not bother to turn his head. "Well, Ruffnut, my foot seems to be missing."

Astrid shot a look at the girl, who was watching them from the Great Hall stairs. "I don't suppose you've seen a giant, lumbering beast recently?"

Ruffnut's lips quirked upwards. "As a matter of fact, he just passed by here. Have fun chasing him down."

Stoick flicked his gaze from the Thorston girl to his son. A suspicious frown crossed his face as he watched Hiccup limp away, hanging onto Astrid for support.

He had a feeling that Snotlout's sudden search for his son, Ruffnut's now short hair and Hiccup's missing foot were all connected somehow.

And if those things also happened to connect with his misshapen beard, then Thor help them.

...

"They're staring at me," Hiccup muttered.

Astrid helped the boy down to the docks, where Snotlout had last been seen. Sure enough, their fellow tribe members were staring at Hiccup with a mixture of confusion and concern. "It's okay!" She assured them. "We'll get his prosthetic foot back soon!"

"Of all days for Toothless to be off doing who-knows-what with the other dragons." Hiccup complained.

"We can go find him, if you want. He's probably near the cove."

"My leg is already killing me. I will not last a walk that far and I want to keep what's left of my dignity intact, so no piggyback rides." Hiccup squinted to the end of the docks and spotted something glinting in the water. "He didn't!"

But Snotlout did.

Floating a short distance away was a small wooden boat. Inside the boat Hiccup could clearly see his prosthetic foot. He shot Astrid a pitiful glance. The blonde sighed and let go of Hiccup. "Alright. It's the least I can do."

She dove into the water and bit her lip against the frigidness. She swam as quickly as she could towards the boat and climbed in. Teeth chattering, Astrid rowed the boat back to the dock and handed Hiccup his prosthetic.

"Thank you!" Hiccup gladly took it and snapped it into place. "I wonder how Snotlout got back here without swimming."

"In a rare show of intelligence, he probably took two small boats." Astrid said flatly, rubbing her arms.

Hiccup looped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Let's get you some warm soup from the Great Hall."

"You just want people to see me soaking wet."

"Well, I've been hobbling around the village for over two hours." Hiccup pointed out. "I think some embarrassment on your part isn't too much to ask."

Astrid rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Whatever. You going to get Toothless to smite Snotlout when he returns?"

"Oh, big time."

This dare was requested by quite a few people.

Next chapter: In which Snotlout dares Tuffnut.