Author's Note: So this is my favorite chapter to have written. By far. And it's also the longest one I've ever written. I really hope you guys like the direction I've taken her, I have a feeling you will! Reviewers get my unconditional love and thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters!
Chapter 14
Avery's POV:
As I sat watching the BAU team working in the conference room, I reflected on the rather disturbing night I'd had. After I called Spencer, he calmed me down over the phone as he drove over. He'd told me to wake Arrow up and explain what I'd found. I did as he said, and Arrow snapped into what I had now dubbed as his 'FBI intensity'. To say he was livid would be an understatement. Within the hour, the entire BAU team had gathered at my house. I thought it'd had to do with their job, catching the man who'd left me the letter, but I quickly gathered that their motivations may not have been entirely professional. They seemed ready to stay up all night, and the fact that they all came (Garcia included), had showed me that. Penelope had set up a temporary lab station at our dining room table, and the rest of the team had poured over the letter.
Watching them work, I remember beginning to feel panicked, and running upstairs to check on my kids. Even though upon my arrival, Arrow had assured me that they were safe I didn't care; I had to be sure. After checking on the boys, giving each of them a kiss on their sleeping foreheads I moved to Amelia. I stood there watching her even breathing for what felt like forever. Not even watching her sleep could cure the panic and troubled thoughts that swirled in my mind. After kissing her on her forehead, I'd headed back down to the family room and sat on the couch. I'd spent the better part of my night answering questions about anything and everything that could possibly pertain to the unsub or the letter he'd left. Eventually, Spencer had wandered out to where I was and stayed with me as the others worked. We'd sat much like we had earlier that week when we were watching the movie with the boys, except this time I'd given up all social conventions and simply laid in his lap. I'll never forget how gently he'd ran his hands through my tangled hair, speaking soothing words until I fell into an unavoidable sleep. I was restless though, and woke frequently and suddenly. Each time I'd woken, Spencer was still there to calm my frantic body and mind. I smiled, thinking of his tender treatment of me, and the way he'd refused to leave my side.
Eventually the team decided they needed to return to the BAU to really get some more work done, and they'd all insisted that the kids and I came with. Arrow had demanded that I call in to work for the rest of the week. I'd weakly agreed. I hadn't really called in to work, sick or otherwise, so my boss readily agree to give me the time off.
Presently, I sat in the BAU with the boys contentedly coloring next to me. I was feeding Amelia her dinner bottle; we'd been here all day. Currently Morgan sat with us, but the team had been switching in and out of our room all day. Naturally, my favorite parts of the day had been when Spencer had come in to sit with us. Somehow the letter had fundamentally changed something about our relationship; certainly we were no longer shy about touching each other. Every time it was his turn to spend time with us, he sat as close as possible to me, often holding my hand in his own. By the end of the day, I was melting into his touch like I'd known him my whole life. Needless to say though, no matter how much time I'd gotten to spend with him, I was eager to go home. The kids had been team players all day, using the BAU as their own playground, but I was running out of ideas to placate their constant need for stimulation. I turned to Morgan.
"Any chance we could go home soon? I'm running out of things to do, and the kids are going to get restless soon", I admitted. He looked at me sympathetically.
"I know how hard this has been on you mama, and you've been doing incredible", he said. I scoffed, and he shook his head before continuing. "You may not believe it, but you are. Now I've seen a lot of women go through exactly what you're going through, and they've all broken down, screaming and crying. Lashing out and hindering things. You've been emotional, sure, how could you not be? But you've aided our investigation at every turn, played your own role in your case. That takes a very strong person", he said. I smiled at him, and leaned forward in my chair to give him a hug. He wrapped me in his strong arms, and I felt protected and safe. As I pulled away, I said my thanks. He nodded and said he'd see what he could do about getting us home.
I turned my attention back to Amelia's bottle, until I felt a presence behind me. Soon Spencer was the one in sitting in front of me, not Morgan. I grinned at him, and he smiled back fondly. I swear I could look into his eyes all day and never get tired of them.
"So I, ah, hear that you want to go home", he said finally. I nodded and gestured to the boys, who had long since turned their focus to some of the toys we'd brought along.
"Hard to keep them entertained for long, and they both skipped naps today, so I think some time at home would be the best thing for them right now", I said. This time he nodded. I finished burping Amelia, and set her on the floor with the boys. She started doing her odd little wiggly thing instead of crawling, and I couldn't help but laugh at her before turning my attention back to Spencer. Spencer too, was smiling at her, and I couldn't help but shift my chair closer to his. He registered that I was now closer, and grabbed my hand, looking up at me smiling.
"I think Morgan is up there right now convincing Hotch that it's alright for you to go, though I'm sure that one or more of us will have to join you", he said. I nodded, but it was hard for me to grasp what he'd said right away while he was absentmindedly rubbing circles into my knuckles like he was.
"Are you coming with us?" I asked hopefully. The guilty look on his face told me he wouldn't be, which was disappointing. I felt safe with all of the team, but I felt the most at peace when Spencer was around. It'd been a tiring day keeping the boys entertained and answering questions; all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Spencer and watch a Disney movie to restore my faith in happy endings.
"Actually they need me to analyze the handwriting on the note. I have a background in graphology, and I'm sure I can add to our profile with some information from the handwriting", he said regretfully. I smiled wider at him, shaking my head a little in disbelief. Was there anything Spencer Reid couldn't do?
"That's okay, whatever you could do to help, I really truly appreciate", I said genuinely. "I appreciate what all of you are doing for me. For us" I amended gesturing to the kids on the floor.
"Avery I…we're going to do anything and everything to find this man. He messed with the wrong girl", he replied strongly, squeezing my hand gently. I squeezed back.
"I know Spence. I trust you", I said. He smiled widely and we watched the kids in a companionable silence until Morgan re-entered the room.
"Alright mama, pack up your stuff, I'm taking y'all home", Morgan said. The boys cheered, and began piling up their toys. Spencer stood up, and I followed suit. He turned to me, and gave me a small half smile that I returned. He turned like he was going to leave, but suddenly turned around and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I was surprised at first, but relaxed into the hug, eventually wrapping my arms around him neck and holding him just as tightly.
"Happy birthday by the way", he said quietly into my ear. I felt my face split into a huge grin; leave it to Spencer to be the only one to remember that today was my birthday. To be honest, I'd even forgotten all about it. But Spencer and his wonderful brain had remembered. I was head over heels for this guy, I just didn't know how to tell him.
We separated finally, and he gave a small wave before exiting. Smiling like an idiot I helped the boys gather their things. When we were finished, I turned to Morgan. He was leaning against the doorframe, smirking. I shrugged at him as if I had no idea why he was looking at me like that. We all walked out the door and I heard him chuckle. Ignoring him, we loaded everyone into the car and headed for home. As we passed by different now familiar buildings and houses that not even a week ago had seemed strange, a sudden question nagged at my mind. Deciding to ask Morgan, I spoke up.
"Hey, Morgan. Do you know if there are any churches around here? Like a Christian churches?" I asked. He turned to look at me for a second before returning his eyes to the road. I couldn't quite place his look, but something about it was off.
"Yeah there's a few. Why? Thinking of attending?" he said finally.
"Yeah I was. Do you go?" I asked. I saw his jaw tighten and his hand grip the wheel a little tighter. I got the sense that I'd struck some sort of nerve with him. As we pulled up in front of the house he turned to me and gave me another one of those looks, only this one looked conflicted.
"I haven't in a long time", he answered. "I've been thinking about going lately, but haven't been able to get myself to go". I nodded in understanding as he turned away.
"I haven't been able to go in a long time either", I admitted. He looked up at me as I spoke. "I'll go if you go?" He shook his head.
"Ever feel like you've been abandoned? Like God's turned the other way and just let you suffer?" He asked, looking out the window. I placed a hand on his arm, willing him to look at me. When he did, I spoke.
"Trust me Derek, I've felt that way before. Lots of times. But I've finally come to the realization that God truly doesn't give us things we can't handle", when he scoffed, I continued faster. "I mean I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world, nor would I want anyone else to lead my life. I'm perfectly suited to lead the life that I've led, and I'm confident that no one else could do it as well as I do. God made me to live this life because he knows that I can take it". I saw Derek's face soften, and deciding I'd gotten through to him I went for one last question. "Would you want anyone to lead the life you've led? Could anyone cope as well as you?"
He didn't answer for a while, but he looked at me with that same strange look. Eventually he straightened up and turned his eyes out the window again.
"We should get out of the car now, it's not safe to be sitting in here as long as we have been", he said after a while. "You grab Amelia, I've got the boys". He left the car before I could answer, and I felt guilty. Clearly I'd offended him in some way, which had never been my intent. I just wanted to know what churches the kids and I could start attending, but I'd ended up offending one of the people I'd come to trust most since moving in with Arrow.
Once we got into the house and go the kids fed and settled into quietly watching a movie, I pulled Morgan aside to speak with him.
"Morgan I'm so, so sorry if I offended you earlier. Truly I just wanted to know if there were any churches nearby, and then you asked what I thought, so I told you—"my babbling was soon cut short by Morgan raising his hand.
"Avery. You didn't offend me before. In fact you were right, about all of it", he said. My shock must have been written all over my face, because he chuckled before continuing. "Yeah I know I didn't react well, but I was just having a rough time accepting that you managed to put into words the way that I'd been feeling for the last few months. You really are something", he said bumping my shoulder with his. I relaxed some.
"You have no idea how incredibly relieved that makes me feel", I said honestly. Seriously, what would I have done if I'd managed to piss off one of the people growing closest to me? That would have really sucked. He smiled at me.
"Yeah I know I didn't really react as well as I should have. And for that I'm sorry. But hey, no hard feelings right mama?" he said.
"Right", I answered, smiling back at him. Not for the first time today, I yawned. I looked at Morgan and asked, "Would you like some coffee? I know I could use some more". When he nodded in the affirmative, I busied myself setting the coffee pot and finding coffee mugs for each of us. For a long while we just sat at the kitchen table, sipping our coffee and talking about anything and everything. He told me about his father, about his childhood and I patiently listened as he explained his whole life story. I offered my ear, and my comfort when necessary. In turn he did the same to me. I told him everything about what'd happened to me, telling him even more than I had to Arrow or Penelope. I even clued him in to the eating disorder I'd struggled with for so long; I hadn't even gotten around to telling Spencer about that yet. Not that I was going to keep that from him, but I just hadn't found the right time to tell him yet. And to be honest, I didn't want Spencer to think less of me. I'd felt it in my gut that that wouldn't happen with Morgan. Something about Derek made me feel safe and protected. Like he could truly understand everything about me, and be trusted to keep my secrets quiet. It wasn't exactly like the way I felt around Spencer, not quite as effortless, but it was a close second. Derek Morgan was steadily becoming the older brother I'd never had, which made sense considering he had sisters close to my age.
After some time, we heard a knock on the door, and we both sat straight up in our seats. Derek motioned for me to stay where I was as he headed for the door. I rolled my eyes as I thought 'yeah right' and headed for the door anyways. By the time I got there I saw a very wet looking Spencer in the doorway behind a smirking Derek. One glance outside clued me into the fact that it was indeed pouring out, something that I'd apparently overlooked throughout our discussion. I frowned at Morgan.
"Derek don't be a dick, let him in before he gets struck by lightning or something!" I exclaimed, pulling Spencer in by his arm as Morgan raised his arms in surrender.
"Don't blame me mama, I'm pretty sure that the chances of him being struck by lightning are 1 in a million", he said smiling and patting Spencer on the back.
"Actually for the D.C. area the odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 617,996", Spencer said matter of factly. I smiled, loving how smart he was. Derek just shook his head and crossed his arms.
"You and that brain of yours", Derek said fondly, messing up Spencer's already messy, dripping hair. I frowned and punched his arm lightly.
"Hey now. I happen to like that brain", I said crossly. I noted with satisfaction that Spencer's face tinged pink at my admission, as did Morgan. He chuckled and once again raised his hands in surrender. Placated, I turned my attention to Spencer. "So what do I owe the pleasure of your lovely brain in my home?" I asked sweetly.
"The, uh, rest of the team wants Morgan to help with the next phase of the investigation, and I was done with the graphology so we decided I should come stay with you while Morgan leaves", he explained nervously. It was adorable that he was still nervous, as if I'd ever turn away his company.
"Great!" I said brightly. "I'll go grab you some of Arrow's clothes, no need for you to catch cold" I finished, running up the stairs. I was excited; finally Spencer and I could be alone, no kids, no team members. Just me and him.
Today wasn't so bad after all.
Spencer's POV:
As Avery ran up the stairs I turned back to a smirking Morgan.
"What?" I questioned, guessing what he was going to say already.
"Don't you what me kid. You know what. What could they possibly need me for in the profile that you couldn't have done yourself? Unless we have a face or a name, I'm not an essential part of this right now. So either you really don't want to help out back at the BAU, which I highly doubt, or you really want to be here for some reason", I looked down sheepishly, confirming his accusation. His smirk widened. "Ahhh, so you do want to be here, huh kid? Now why could that possibly be? Hmm?"
I looked at him with annoyance. He was purposefully pushing my buttons because he knew he could. "You know why Morgan. I want to spend time with Avery", I said. This seemed to only widen his ever present smirk.
"I know", he said, grinning. "I just wanted to hear you say it".
Avery soon bounced down the stairs, a pile of clothes in her hands. She handed them to me and ordered me to go change. I smiled at her; she was so adorable, trying to take care of everyone. She practically oozed affection for nearly everyone she met, and easily won them over with her genuine love for them. Look at the team, less than a week and she had all of us (especially me) wrapped around her pinky finger. And no one seemed to even mind.
"Yes ma'am", I mocked playfully. I nodded at Morgan as a means of saying goodbye, and he returned the action.
"See you round Reid. Av, I'll pick you and the kids up for church on Sunday, alright?" he said, hugging her and walking out the door. I frowned a little before heading to the bathroom to change. There was a familiarity between Avery and Morgan that there hadn't been before, and I wasn't sure I liked it. Surely there was no way Avery felt for Morgan what I was fairly certain she felt for me, right? Perhaps they'd bonded in another way, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more between them. Morgan was obviously better looking than I was; he had no trouble talking to women either. Maybe Avery had seen something in him that she preferred.
No. There was no way, I told myself as I walked out in the fresh clothes. Morgan was way too old for Avery, and he would never hurt me like that. At least that's what I told myself. Truth was I had no real way of getting to an answer, other than to ask her. I'd decided to ask her as I walked into the living room, but before I could say anything Avery motioned for me to stay silent by pressing her index finger to her lips. She motioned to the sleeping boys on the couch, and indicated that we should bring them upstairs. I nodded, and we each carefully picked up a boy, and quietly carried them up the stairs to place them in their beds. After silently pressing a kiss to each sleeping boy's forehead, Avery shut the door and we headed back down the stairs.
Once downstairs, Avery spoke up. "Derek and I were just having some coffee, I bet there some left. I'm going to have another cup, would you like one too?" Man I liked this girl. How could she possibly know that coffee was my weakness? I nodded eagerly, and followed her into the kitchen. After placing Morgan's cup in the sink, she took out another one, presumably for me. She filled each cup, then slid me some sugar and cream that had been left on the counter.
"I don't know how you take your coffee" she said shyly. She continued to add things to her own cup. It appeared to be copious amounts of cream and sugar, diluting the black liquid to a tannish color. I smiled wider.
"Actually it seems as if we like our coffees the same way", I grinned. Her smile seemed to widen.
"Who would've thought", she smiled. "I don't know about you Spence, but I don't feel like doing much of anything anymore. But my life could use a little more Disney right now, you up for a movie? I'll even let you pick", she said waggling her eyebrows in a ridiculously adorable way. I couldn't help but laugh at her, and apparently neither could she. We both giggled before I answered.
"That sounds lovely Av", I said truthfully. Her smile looked as if it could rip her face in two, and we both headed to the family room.
SPENCERAVERSPENCERAVERYSPENCERAVERYSPENCERAVERYSPENCERAVERYSPENCERAVERY
Sometime later we were happily curled up on the couch, coffee cups on the table in front of us, movie on the screen. True to her word, Avery and let me pick. After some thought I decided on The Little Mermaid; Avery had told me once that it was her favorite movie. Sure enough she'd practically squealed in happiness when I'd presented my choice. Which in turn, made me very happy, knowing that I'd made her happy. When she sat down, she'd immediately cuddled into my side and I wrapped my arms around her without a second thought. It was cozy, familiar, and unlike anything else I'd ever felt for someone. But I couldn't help but let the thought of Avery and Morgan together creep into my mind. Had they curled up like this? Had his arms been around her too? The thought alone made me sick. I had to ask her about it, but it took me several minutes to work up the courage. What if she said she did like Morgan more than me? What if I'd read the situation completely wrong? Nervously, I cleared my throat, and Avery looked up at me concernedly.
"Something wrong Spence?" she asked gently. I cleared my throat again and shook my head.
"No nothings, uh, nothing's wrong", I started, but the look on her face told me that she wasn't buying it. I sighed. "It's just…" The disbelief on her face immediately changed to worry.
"Spence. It's okay, you can tell me anything. Just let me know what's wrong, and I'll do my best to help, okay?" she said concernedly, grabbing my hand and turning to face me more directly.
"It's just…How do you feel about Morgan?" I blurted out. I wished I could take the words back as soon as they left my mouth, and replace them with something more casual. Something less spastic. Avery's concerned expression slowly changed into something more like confusion. She hesitated before answering.
"What do you mean Spence?" she said carefully.
"I mean, you just… just seemed really close when I came in and I just… wanted to know how you felt about him", I mumbled. Her confused expression stuck and I began to regret ever asking. "Never mind, you don't have to answer that", I finished, looking away from her in embarrassment. Just after I turned, I felt Avery began to shake. I turned back to her in concern, only to find that she was giggling at me. Confused and a little hurt, I gave her a questioning look.
"Oh I know I shouldn't be laughed but it's just, me and Derek? Laughable to say the least", she managed between her giggles. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over me. "I mean Derek is great, but I would never think of him like that", she continued. "He's more like my older brother. My much OLDER brother".
I grinned at her, elated for once that I truly had been wrong. Avery didn't like Morgan. She eyed me with a strange look, a smile still on her face.
"Why on Earth would you think anything was going on between Morgan and I? She asked curiously. "And more importantly, why did you care so much?"
I felt the smile leave my face as quickly as it had come. Damn. How was I going to explain things without exposing my feelings for her? Did I even want to conceal my feelings anymore? Now was as good a time as any to let her know I suppose. That's what my brain said, but my mouth wasn't as cooperative. I managed to stutter out a few syllables before Avery giggled and shook her head at me.
"How you could ever think I was attracted to anyone but you is beyond me", she said with a hint of wonder in her voice. I bowed my head near her shoulder, hiding my embarrassment at my idiotic ques…
Wait.
Did she just say she couldn't believe I would think she'd be attracted to anyone except for me? No. She couldn't have.
But she did.
My head snapped up just as her face flushed bright read in realization of what she'd just said. I smiled, ecstatic.
"What did you just say?" I questioned happily. It'd sounded like she'd just blurted out her thoughts, much like I'd done earlier, and I sincerely hoped that was the case. It'd be much easier to admit my feelings to her if I could be sure she felt the same way.
"Well, uhm, I just, uh, you see", she stammered nervously. God she was adorable.
"Avery did you just say you were attracted to me?" I asked, trying and failing to play things cool. If at all possible her face colored redder, and she looked down and started fiddling with her hands.
"Duh Spence", she said, so quietly I almost missed it. I sat back, amazed at what I'd just learned. Avery truly did feel the same way I did. I sat for a moment and let that incredible fact sink in for a while, the grin on my face growing. It was like all my fears had vacated my mind, and all I could feel was overwhelming happiness. Avery must have interpreted my silence in the wrong way, because she started babbling like crazy trying to explain herself.
"I mean of course I'm attracted to you, how could I not be? You're so sweet and kind, and you're beyond smart. You accept my family at face value, and you treat my kids like they're your own. And you're so cute and funny and dorky in a completely adorable way. Whenever I'm around you I feel so calm and happy and protected, and that doesn't happen to me. Ever. And I know I probably just screwed everything up by telling you that but I mean it doesn't have to make things weird between us Spence. I would choose being your friend over nothing because I can't imagine not having you around and…"
I knew I had to stop her babbling, because if I'd learned anything about Avery in the last few weeks it was that she could talk for any length of time. Especially if she was nervous. I didn't want her to retract what she'd blurted out; I'd be devastated if she did. This chatter could last forever if I didn't put an end to it. Feeling emboldened by her confession, I did the only thing I could think of to stop her mouth from babbling on and on.
I kissed her.
At first she seemed shocked, and froze underneath me and I felt fear run through my chest. Had I made a huge mistake? I started to pull away when I felt her respond. She relaxed into my kiss, bringing her hands towards my head, one wrapping in my hair and one grazing the side of my face. I moved my own hands down to her waist as our lips moved furiously against each other's. What had started out as an innocent way to stop her from taking back what she'd said (or admittedly not so innocent), had quickly turned into a heated lip lock. We poured all the frustrations the week had given us; the unsub, the fact that we couldn't admit our feelings to each other, the miscommunication with Morgan, all into one passionate embrace. As we finally broke apart, breathing heavily, I placed my forehead on hers and tried (unsuccessfully) to catch my breath. I finally opened my eyes, only to find a grinning Avery with her eyes still closed, forehead on mine trying to do the same thing. I smiled too, and watched as her beautiful eyes opened and locked onto mine. I pulled my face back a little, just to get a better look at her, and I ended up smirking at her in a very un-me like way.
"Sorry", I said, clearing my throat but still smirking. "I just needed a way to stop you from taking back what you said. It seemed like the best way". It was true, but I would have never ever done something like that with anyone else. I was ordinarily too shy, but I guess the panic of not wanting Avery to denounce her feelings for me overpowered my reason. And I for one was glad it did. She blushed and smiled, before looking down sheepishly.
"I wasn't going to", she admittedly quietly. "I meant what I said, I was simply going to allow you the opportunity to ignore what I'd said and continue being my friend. I seriously would've taken that over nothing Spence. Although it doesn't really seem like that's going to be much of an issue now", she looked up and smiled hopefully. I couldn't help but smile wider at that. At this point it felt like my face would crack in half, but I didn't mind one bit.
"No I don't suppose it will be. Not if I have anything to say about it", I said. When her hopeful smile turned into a full grown grin, I could help myself. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes once more and leaned her forehead against mine, sighing contentedly.
"Happy birthday indeed", she said, happiness lacing her voice.
Author's Note: Well I don't know about y'all but this was my favorite chapter by far. So much Avery/Spencer and the introduction of Avery/Morgan. What do you all think about these developing relationships? Leave a review, let me know what you think they'll all do next!