Please see first chapter for disclaimer and other info
A/N: Err, hi? For all those that are still reading this HELLO! I'd like to welcome myself back to this story. It has been a long time. Darth Real Life is a pain, isn't it? I've been through a rough time during these past few months including a death in the family and readjusting to life with new friends and a new direction. This is the second version of this chapter as the first one died along with my laptop. Thanks to everyone who PMed me and reviewed in my absence. The support I had during my hiatus was wonderful and appreciated. I think I've got my groove back and here's hoping you enjoy it. Hot off the press and unbeta'd. Enjoy.
Chapter 13: Of Bad Haircuts, Pimps and Explosions
Calmness. Serenity. Reason.
These were all the basis of living a good Jedi existence. However, these constant staples of the "Jedi Diet" often escaped Anakin Skywalker. In a battle situation, he was much more ready to go in lightsaber blazing than sit and talk things out diplomatically. Unfortunately, that fiery attitude often transferred from the battlefield into his parenting skills.
Irritation. Annoyance. Pure, unadulterated, unsheltered, unbidden RAGE.
Upon landing at the Corellian spaceport, Anakin had stormed off the ship in what Luke would characterize as "in a huff". Anakin's cheeks were a suspicious red colour betraying his endeavour to appear nothing less than a calm, serene Jedi. Luke knew his father better than that.
"Han's homeworld is…nice," Luke commented, eyeing the main street that led from the spaceport into the Captial of the planet. Anakin snorted. "Nice? The whole damn planet is full of tight-pants wearing, Sabacc-playing, bad hair having Han Solo replicas!"
Luke was inclined to agree with his father. Everywhere he looked he saw the same strange fashion Han usually wore. After living with the Skywalkers, who by all means were the epitome of fashion and style, had obviously not had an effect on the rogue smuggler. Clearly it was easier to take the pirate out of Corellia rather than Corellia out of the pirate.
Anakin was relying on his sense of the Force to track his daughter. Since the barrage of Leia's force signature waves on the ship, she had been unusually quiet. It was as if she were trying to hide the fact she was on the planet. Anakin found this fact even more irritating than the Force wave he had experience beforehand. He was here to rescue his poor defenceless daughter and she should have been doing anything in her power to escape her captor and run back towards her daddy…right? Anakin had the feeling something very melodramatic had occurred and if there was one thing Anakin couldn't stand in his old age, it was melodrama.
Twenty minutes later, Anakin and Luke found themselves in the bustling inner city.
Bustling? Try millions of ugly pirates, gamblers, smugglers and spice dealers all crammed into one city and all with bad haircuts.
As if on cue, a deranged man, dressed in dirty clothes with an eye-patch approached them. "Can I interest you in purchasing some fine quality spice? Straight from the Karzan V underground. Just came in yesterday…"
The old man didn't have a chance to finish as Anakin has unceremoniously lifted him off the ground, using his old friend, the Force. "You really don't want to sell me spice," he said evenly. The old man looked scared out of his wits but calmly replied "I don't really want to sell you spice."
The one great thing about Corellia was that most of its inhabitants were definitely weak of mind which made for much easier Jedi mind tricks. While leaving the man hanging in mid-air, Anakin rummaged through his very clean Jedi robes and pulled out a small holo. Turning it on, it proudly bore a picture of the Skywalker family…plus the extra baggage known as Han Solo. "Have you seen either of these two kids around?" he asked, pointing to the two 'lovebirds' in the obviously outdated picture.
The man, still mesmerized by Anakin's fancy Jedi trick, took a few minutes to stare intently at the holo. Anakin began to get impatient and began to shake the man. "Well?" he demanded.
"Ah yes," the man replied after a few long, tortuous minutes. "That's Solo. Was sure surprised to see his ugly mug around here again!" the man replied with a laugh.
Anakin and Luke eyed each other suspiciously. If this old idiot had seen Han around here recently it would surely mean Leia would not be far behind. "What about the young girl?" Luke pressed. He was determined to find Leia and get off this planet and back home where someone special was waiting for him.
The old man took another look at the holo, ignoring the look of pure irritation Anakin was delivering. "By Kessel, that's her! That's the broad I saw him walking with just an hour ago!"
"BROAD?" Anakin bellowed. "That BROAD is my daughter! An hour ago? Where were they? What were they doing?" Instead of fearing for his life, like any other sane being would have at that point in time, the spice dealer simply continued to laugh.
"Solo, you old dog. Spice dealing is one thing, but becoming a pimp…"
Anakin thought his head would combust. Surely this idiot wasn't suggesting what he THOUGHT he was suggesting? Nobody could be THAT stupid on Corellia…could they?
This time Anakin decided to use a hands-on approach. Physically pulling the once-hanging man to the ground he put his hand clamped around his shoulder. "Think very carefully old man, before your extremities end up on the other side of your planet," Anakin hissed.
Luke stood on the other side of the man and tried to put on his most menacing face. "Yeah," he contributed. Suddenly, the man had an epiphany. "Yes, yes. I know now where I saw them. They were over at the old Chapel. Come to think of it, Solo had scrubbed up quite nicely. And that gorgeous broad he was with was wearing the most dazzling white dress…"
Nothing could have prepared Luke for the massive Force shock he felt at that moment. His father was mad. Very, very, very mad.
And precisely at that moment, Luke felt the Force urging him to look behind him. Surely enough, as both he and his father spun around, the image of Han Solo holding Leia in the 'walking-across-the-threshold' position assaulted their eyes.
"Oh look, there they are!" the man shouted.
The Galaxy According to Anakin Skywalker
Son-in-laws: When deciding which Coruscant Bachelor of the Year to marry your only daughter to, several factors have to be considered. Attractiveness, wealth and integrity are all important elements. However, elopement will often result in severe heart conditions for the Father of the Bride and possibly cause the exploding of aforementioned father's head and/or entire body.