The Following Christmas

Two Alternate Universe Stories based on Villains' Bad Girl's Family Guy Universe

by LDEJRuff

Story II - Dylan the Half-Brother

Chapter 2.4 - Visiting the First Litter

The first stop in the visit list was at the Swanson house, where Briana lived after her adoption. Brian knocked on the door, and Joe answered.

"Oh, hey, Brian. Hey, Barbara." Joe noticed Dylan. "Who are you?"

"Joe," Brian began, "this is my human son, Dylan. He's here visiting on Christmas."

"Wow," Joe said, astonished. "I knew you had a first and second litter, Brian, but I never thought you'd be a father to a human." He turned his attention to Dylan. "How's your mother doing, Dylan?"

"Oh, she's fine, Mr. Swanson," Dylan replied.

"Anyway, what brings you along, Brian?" asked Joe.

Brian replied, "Oh, we're here to see how Briana's doing."

"Did someone call for me, Joe?" Briana said, coming into the living room before noticing her parents. "Oh, hey, Mom and Dad. Who's that?"

"Briana, this is your older human half-brother, Dylan," Brian replied. "He's a well-known TV star. You should watch Parent Boppers more often."

"That Disney Channel show?"

"Yeah," Dylan answered. "I play the character DJ, who leads a detective agency with his friends."

"Wow, you play a detective?" Briana began. "That's amazing, I'll be sure to watch that show everyday."

"You should," Dylan replied to his younger half-sister. "And whenever you see the character DJ, you'll be thinking about me."

Back in the Griffin house, Stewie had just returned from his trip to Bethlehem, and his time machine deactivated.

"Huh," Stewie began unimpressed, exiting the machine. "Not exactly what I imagined Jesus' birth to be like but acceptable."

"Hey, Stews," Vinny greeted, entering his room.

"Oh, hey, Vinny," Stewie greeted back. "I take it you've met Dylan?"

"I did," Vinny replied. "I was a bit surprised when Brian said he had a human son. Anyway, he and Barbs took Dylan to see the first litter."

"Rats," Stewie groaned. "I was hoping to see Dylan again when I returned from Bethlehem."

"By the way, Stewie," Vinny began, "you should get back to wearing those overalls you're usually seen in. Your folks and siblings are gonna look more than surprised when they see you in swaddling clothing."

"I agree, Vinny," Stewie said. "After all, it's not every day you have your parents see you wearing this form of clothing unless they see you in a Christmas pageant."

Pause.

"What, no clip?" He wondered. "I thought we had a clip. Oh, okay. We can just continue talking."

"I don't know if there's gonna be any time, Stewie," Vinny disagreed. "The next scene's about to start in the Tubbs-Brown household."

Vinny prophesied right, as we are now at the Tubbs-Brown house. Brian and Barbara had already introduced Dylan to Cleveland, Donna, Cleveland Jr., Roberta, Rallo and Ollie, and are now at the dinner table having lunch.

"Dylan," Donna began, "it's nice for you to visit your own father on Christmas, like any offspring should."

"What I don't understand," Roberta said, "is why an eight-year-old dog would father a fourteen-year-old human child. Isn't that, like, a technical impossibility, like Vinny's breed?"

Ollie halted her. "Roberta, please. If it's okay with Dad that he has a human son, then it's okay. Anyway, Dylan, it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Ollie," Dylan replied. "Besides, Roberta, it's in dog years. Times that by seven, and you get fifty-six."

"Which is still a pretty young age," Brian added.

"Anyway, you've been keeping up pretty good exercising, Roberta," Dylan noticed.

"Thanks, Dylan," Roberta agreed. "I always keep a good posture."

At the Quahog Mall, Vinny took Stewie and the second litter over to the toy store, so they can get something for Dylan.

"Okay, kids," Vinny addressed the three. "Pick anything you want to give Dylan."

"I don't know, Mr. Vinny," Jair said. "Are you sure we can give Dylan something that's toy-wise? He's only fourteen."

"Yeah," Matthias agreed. "Maybe a pencil would be good for someone his age."

"Besides, Vinny," Stewie shrugged, "I'm sensing a bit of familiarity right now. It's almost like I've visited this store before to buy something a little early."

"Awww, you worry too much, Stewie," Vinny replied. "I'll be taking a good look around to find you a little something as well."

With that, the four decided to split, even though the second litter decided to stay together. While he was searching for something, Stewie looked back with a smile.

"Vinny, my friend," he thought, "I couldn't thank you enough for saving Brian's life. After all, I did meet you here last Christmas when you posed as a modeling agent to distract me from my time machine return pad."

Cutaway: The year before, Stewie was waiting, wearing his brown coat and stocking cap, with his backpack near him. He tapped his foot until the pad returned to the backpack as he began to realize.

"Hmmm," he wondered. "Starting to think that guy wasn't a real modeling agent. And I'm starting to think that other guy wasn't a real penis-butt inspector."

The Stewie from last year, who wore a blue jacket over his yellow shirt and red overalls, looked at his past self, smiling, knowing that the mission was a success, and keeping out of our Stewie's sight.

"Good dog, Vinny," he whispered. "Good dog."

At the Pewterschmidt mansion, Brian and Barbara had already introduced Dylan to Carter, Seabreeze, Jenny, Marcus, and Carter's wife (who was also named Barbara), and were sitting on the couch.

"Brian, I've got to hand it to you," Carter said. "I've seen a lot of children in my day, but none who have been raised by dogs as Dylan."

"Well," Dylan chuckled, "my mother also raised me even though Dad wasn't around much."

"By the way, Brian," Barbara Pewterschmidt began, "I pretty much find it odd that your mate is also named Barbara. But, at least you found the right dog."

Barbara chuckled. "Thank you, Mrs. Pewterschmidt."

"Anyway," Dylan began, "it is nice to meet you, Jenny and Marcus. You do pretty much resemble your parents."

Marcus chuckled. "Thanks, Dylan. I'm pretty glad you decided to notice."

"And it's nice to know that we'll be having more younger siblings, Mom," Jenny added.

Barbara looked at her belly and rubbed it with her front right paw.

"Yeah," Barbara said. "And both your father and I will raise this third litter like we've raised you."

"Good to know," Marcus replied.