13.

Ianto put the last cup of coffee on a tray. It was late, but Ben's surprising confession had all of them gathered in the Hub's boardroom again and coffee was needed. He pushed open the glass door of the room with his shoulder and entered.

"This cult surfaced about a year ago," Ben said. His eyes were still glued to Hywel, like they had been from the start. The little Weevil was huddling at Owen's feet. "And that's not dangerous?" he asked.

"He's a baby," Owen replied, offering Hywel the bottle.

"Yes, but he'll grow up to become one of those monsters that attack people, right?"

Owen gave him a withering look, and Jack said, "Weevils live in the sewers. Very few come up and attack humans."

Ianto set down a cup of coffee on the boardroom table in front of Ben but he pushed it away. "With all due respect," he said, "no, thank you."

Ianto left the cup in case Ben would change his mind, while Jack gave Ben an amused smile. "No Retcon."

"Yes," Ben said. "I'm not entirely convinced of that." Ianto put his own cup down last and sat at the table. Ben continued, "I regained my memories of Torchwood pretty quickly. It was clear to me that I couldn't let it on, though, but I've been following your cases and researched older cases anew. If you know the truth, it's relatively easy to identify the cover stories the news are spreading. I did more research, waiting for a suitable opportunity to contact you. Instead, I found the cult."

"Through Mrs. Pierce," Jack replied.

"The death of her family was particularly interesting because there were rumors of strange events around that part of the city. I only had to speak to her once and she told me about the group who helped her to get over the death of her family. I did more research, found more evidence and finally decided to go there myself."

"How did you get into the cult?" Jack asked. "They only accept people who have a connection to Torchwood and yours is difficult to prove."

"How did you get in?" Ben asked with a smile. He looked around and leaned back in his chair.

Tosh and Gwen looked at each other and Jack chuckled. "You're good," he said.

"I lie well," Ben said with a shrug. "It's part of my job, so to speak, as an investigative reporter."

"What exactly do you want to expose in your report?" Jack asked.

"A cult that allows a journey to the afterlife? I thought it sounded interesting enough. Magazines love stuff like that. And pay well for it. I'm getting married and weddings cost money." He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. "I thought they were just telling stories to make themselves more interesting."

The atmosphere suddenly became serious and Jack softly asked, "What did you see?"

"They must have given me drugs."

"What did you see?" Jack repeated firmly.

Ben looked at him and took a deep breath. "We were in the ... there was nothing. Everything was dark ... or bright ... I can't describe it. The only thing I could clearly see was him. Apollyon." He swallowed. "Can it be true? That I was in the afterlife?"

"No," Jack answered, "but maybe somewhere else."

Tosh said, "I went through the records of my scanners again. There's no evidence that Apollyon used a kind of technology to transport himself and Mr. Bryan."

Gwen frowned. "Yet, they were clearly somewhere else."

Ianto looked at Jack. "A natural gift?"

Jack shrugged. "This case raises more questions than it answers," he said in frustration. Then he smiled. "Maybe we'll get some answers tomorrow when Gwen and Tosh will join Apollyon for a trip to the afterlife."

Gwen paled and Tosh's face became tense. "Yes", she said slowly, "maybe."

Jack checked his watch. "Okay, it's late. We're all tired. Time for a break. See you all tomorrow morning." He stood up. "Mr. Bryan, my office."

xxx

"Close the door," Jack said after Ben had entered. Ben reluctantly obeyed and then remained close to the door as if he feared he would have to run. Jack leaned back against his desk with his arms folded, staring at Ben searchingly. Nervously, Ben smiled but Jack didn't think he was as insecure as he pretended to be. In his bright eyes, there was a calmness and serenity showing he couldn't quite hide. This was a man who was willing to die for his convictions. He would be the perfect candidate for a position in Jack's team but Jack would be turned down for sure if he offered him one. Ben distrusted Torchwood, as much as he was willing to help them out.

Ben cleared his throat. "You won't shoot me, will you?"

Jack made a point of taking his Webley out of its holster and weighed it in his hand. The wooden handle had become so worn that the texture was gone. After decades of use, the weapon merged perfectly with Jack's hand and fingers. He put the gun in a drawer. "No." He sat down in his chair and folded his hands on the table. "I want to talk." Ben sat down slowly in the empty chair in front of Jack's desk. Jack waited until he'd made himself comfortable, then asked, "Why are you here? Why didn't you continue to act clueless? There must be something you want to get out of this."

Ben let out a breath and ran a hand through his blond hair. "I don't want to blackmail you."

"But you must have a reason not to write about Torchwood until now."

"I thought it would be the wrong move." Ben shrugged. "I already told Dr. Harper that I'd like to have exclusive rights should you ever go public."

"You ask for a lot," Jack said. "You realize how much trust I would have to invest in you."

Ben laughed mockingly. "What is the alternative to Retcon? Since you apparently don't want to kill me, how could you make me keep quiet?"

Jack shrugged. "I could freeze you, lock you up ... I can think of at least ten more ways if you give me some time."

Ben swallowed visibly, and for the first time that evening, Jack saw something like fear in his eyes. "But you won't."

"I won't?"

"You're not that kind of man." Ben leaned back in his chair and pointed a finger at Jack. "You are the kind of man who travels back in time to save his lover." He grinned, well aware of the memories his words brought forth.

Jack swallowed the grief that the mention of Matthew brought and smiled. "Does that say anything about how far I'm willing to go to protect Torchwood from a journalist? You don't know me, Mr. Bryan." He let the words hang in the air for a few moments before he nodded slowly. "And the second you even twitch towards the idea of publishing anything about Torchwood, I'll know about it."

Ben shook his head. "I don't believe you."

"Did we not find all your notes and delete your documents from your computer?"

"Which wasn't exactly legal."

"Torchwood doesn't have to worry about laws. As long as you keep quiet, you will get your exclusive story."

Ben nodded slowly, a triumphant grin spreading across his face. "Got it." He stood up and turned to leave. At the door, he hesitated. "Captain, I never heard ... what became of Matthew York?"

Jack looked at him earnestly. "He's dead."

"That's ..." Ben swallowed. "I'm sorry, Captain."

Jack nodded and Ben gave him a small smile before he left.

xxx

Jack's quarters were not much more than a bunker underneath his office, but it was the only home that Jack had. The clothes in the chest of drawers and the few things in his nightstand, however, weren't his most valuable possessions. Those were all stowed in a satchel, waiting hidden near the invisible lift. It was waiting for the Doctor just like Jack. It was the bag that Jack would grab, should the prophecy finally be fulfill and the Doctor return. Even Ianto didn't know about the satchel. Jack's most valuable possessions were also his most personal. In the bag, there weren't just fading photos of Jack and his family back on Boeshane, but also mementos of his long life on Earth. Little things like tickets for a night at the movies which he had spent with Estelle, or Michael's rattle. Things that Jack didn't want to leave without. With a sigh, he turned on his back, stretching out on the narrow bed, and hummed softly along to Deep In The Heart playing on the record player in the corner. He just wished he could take people with him, too. Then he would probably not be that scared of going away. This team meant more to him than he'd ever expected, even though he'd promised himself – had made sure – not to get attached to anyone. Because he didn't like goodbyes and this one would be painful.

He was startled a bit when a shadow darkened the hatch to his quarters and Ianto climbed down the ladder.

Jack sat up and switched on the bedside lamp. "You're still here. I sent all of you home."

Ianto put his hands in his pockets and looked around. He always did, as if expecting to find something new everytime he came down here. "I couldn't leave yet."

Jack narrowed his eyes questioningly. "Why not?"

Ianto sat on the edge of the bed. "I had to talk to you."

Jack grinned. "You're making me very curious."

Ianto cleared his throat and avoided his eyes. "I'm serious," he said softly.

"Okay." Jack nodded and swung his feet off the bed, so he sat next to Ianto.

"I spoke to Owen and Gwen about my empathy and they don't mind me using it."

"So you only need Toshiko's vote now."

"And yours," Ianto added softly.

Jack stared at him in surprise. "Mine?"

"You have an opinion as well," Ianto answered, "don't you?"

"Empathy might be useful when we're dealing with-"

"Not your professional opinion," Ianto interrupted softly. He looked Jack in the eye. "I would be able to read your feelings, right? Your barriers can't hide them from me."

"Correct," Jack said. "No mental training in the universe can stop an empath from reading emotions."

"So what do you think?"

Jack took his time with the answer, knowing that Ianto wanted him to be honest. He thought about it and finally said, "I think that if there's someone I can trust to look at my emotional world and keep it to themselves, then it's you."

Ianto ducked his head and smiled a little embarrassed. In the dim light of his bedside lamp, Jack could see that he was blushing and that made him grin. Ianto looked back up at him. "Good." But there was something in his blue eyes – maybe a question or doubt ...
"What's wrong?" Jack asked. "I can see that something's bothering you."

Ianto rubbed his forehead. "I don't have it completely under control yet."

Jack nodded in understanding.

Ianto continued, "If we're both alone and I'm still in training ... it could be that I'm projecting emotions that could be ... awkward."

"How so?"

Ianto stared at his folded hands. "My feelings ... for you."

Jack sighed deeply. He reached out a hand and turned Ianto's head in his direction to make him look at him. "Empathy is a two way street. You'll learn to control the ability, but at the beginning, it may happen that you project feelings and enable others to feel what you feel. That's not something we will have to be able to cope with – it's something you will have to handle. You have to be able to look us in the eyes, Ianto. You have to be at peace with your own feelings." He smiled and his thumb stroked Ianto's cheek. It was getting late and Ianto needed a shave, but Jack liked the feeling of rough stubble, so he grinned even wider before he became serious again. "Empathy is something very intimate. More so than telepathy."

"I don't know if I can do that."

Jack chuckled. "Oh, you can. Believe me, that's just who you are. The question is: Are you sure that you want it?" Ianto stared at him. Jack stared back calmly. "Whatever you decide, Ianto, is perfectly fine for me. Take your time. Developing your empathy is a decision that can be made only once. If you train the ability, then you have it forever." The loud ringing of Jack's office phone intruded, making them both wince. Jack sighed in annoyance and climbed up the ladder to his office. "Harkness?"

"Jack, it's Helen."

"Helen," Jack said with concern. She would never call in the middle of the night if it weren't important. Actually, Flat Holm called almost never – they wrote e-mails. "What's wrong?"

"It's about Bleddyn," Helen answered and she sounded upset."We would have called earlier, but ..."

"What about him?"

"Since you left, he's been different. Attentive, more active ... aggressive. We had to lock him in a padded cell yesterday. He's unstoppable, Jack."

"I'm on my way."

"No," Helen said quickly. "He's calling for Ianto."

Jack froze. The bad feeling he'd started to have since Bleddyn attacked Ianto grew stronger and for a moment, his chest felt too tight to breathe.

"Bleddyn wants to see Ianto."