Disclaimer; same as previous
Chapter 14
Sirius was mind numbingly bored. He spent most of his days throwing stuff away. Stuff that his family had considered priceless. It gave him a real sense of satisfaction at times, before the feeling of being trapped in this hell hole returned. He wandered the house like a ghost, hating all the memories each room was filled with and the anger that accompanied them. He remembered all the times his mother berated him for not being like his brother, for being unnatural, a freak. She saw his friendship with blood traitors, mudbloods and werewolves as a weakness, a flaw in his character that made him unworthy of his heritage; he saw it as his redeeming feature. He remembered every put down, every beating he received from his otherwise inattentive father. They had been convinced that the "sickness" could be beaten out of him. Once he was old enough to fight back it had stopped for good and he was ignored, treated with glares and neglect. The day he had escaped the place was one of the happiest of his life. Being cooped up in that house again reinforced his hatred of every value his family held dear.
Remus was his connection to reality. He interrupted his brooding and reminded him of the good days. His thoughts of her gave him hope of the future for brief moments until the reality that they could never be hit him and he would once more spiral into dark thoughts. He consoled himself with visions of the house he would buy for himself and harry, in the country somewhere. There would be loads of space where he could live out the rest of his days a free man. Would he have a future without her? Could he? At least she was safe in school. And someday she would find someone her own age that deserved her. Maybe Ron would be the one? He knew there had been feelings there, she had told him, but was that still the case? Could she ever truly forgive her friends for not coming through when she needed them? Could she ever forgive him? And so it would come full circle again and he would be lost in his dark thoughts until Mooney once more knocked him into the present.
Some days he would just sit in his bedroom, feeling as though he had escaped from one prison and entered another. He missed her terribly. It was as though when she left, so too did a part of him. He counted down the days until Christmas, when he would see her again. Countless times he began writing to her. But each letter ended up in the fire. On the whole it was turning out to a rather miserable first term. He wrote to harry of course. He hadn't been reunited with the boy for long, but they were already close. Many times he asked how she was doing. Harry reported that she was well, back at the top of all their classes and seeming happy. He was glad that one of them was.
He hoped one day for the boy to be able to rely on him, to be a sort of father figure for him. "And to be with his best friend"Said the niggling little voice in his head. After that he went back to moping around the house he hated, like a ghost without unfinished business. Except he had a purpose. He was going to make the world safe for her, at least from Voldemort and his followers. Sirius Black was going to make sure that no beast ever hurt her again, even if he had to kill them all himself