Always Purée
Part 14: Organic Dark Arts
A healer fluffed Madam Pomfrey's pillow. She had during the week been moved from the intensive care ward to the coma ward and was currently treated with depletion. It was very strange that she hadn't regained consciousness by now.
"Such sweet and well behaved boys you are to come and visit your dear school healer" said the healer and smiled patronizingly at them as if they were toddlers. "Are you sure you don't have class?"
"No we don't have any class" said James sincerely. He and Remus had come here first thing after Herbology. They had worried about how they'd explain things to Sirius but he was so occupied with his own secret activities that that wasn't a problem anymore.
"I'll leave you alone" the healer smiled tenderly at them and they returned it. When she finally left Remus closed the Little house in the big woods which was really Level 2 healing. The first thing they did was to check the IV that provided the treatment, but they found nothing strange there.
"Why would Pomfrey have collected the nectar?" Remus asked. "That's Sprouts' job"
"Maybe she was unavailable for some reason and it was really urgent" James suggested.
"'Really urgent'? The hospital wing isn't exactly bursting with amnesia patients like in Spells & Curses. Sprout collects it, Slughorn stores it and Pomfrey uses it. That's the chain and if Sprout really had been unavailable for some reason another herbologist would have gone in her place"
"What difference does it make why Pomfrey did it? Clearly she did, and collecting nectar from Monster Venus Fly Traps is perfectly safe as long as you str- sedate them"
"Yeah. And here she is"
They searched the room some more and put all kinds of things through all kinds of tests. When they found nothing they went back to Pomfrey's bed and looked down at her with that annoying feeling that the answer was right in front of them.
"Some people are so mollycoddling" said James. "Why fluff her pillow? She's unconscious!"
Remus was about to explain to him that some believed that unconscious people were still present and aware of their surrounding and that the pillow fluffing was most likely an act of compassion.
"And with protective gloves on!" he said instead.
"I was so sure you would call it an act of compassion or something"
After first putting protective gloves on, Remus yanked the pillow from under Pomfrey's bed and threw it on the floor.
"Oh let me guess" said James. "There's a kind of bed bug that lay eggs in your ears and give you really sweet dreams"
"Organic dark arts. It became really big in the 60's"
He pointed his wand at the pillow and cast Reverse Transfiguration. They both shrieked a little when the pillow shifted into a giant black leech but regained their calm quickly.
"Isn't it perfect? Leech gets all the blame. 'How did it get here?' 'I blame the immigrants!'"
"Is that one of those rare Pillow-Shifting-Fainting-Slugs I've never heard of?"
They stopped the depletion and cast salus volatilus on Pomfrey next. Her nose started twitching. Then she sneezed. She bolted upwards in her bed and saw the fat leech on the floor immediately.
"How did a mare leech get in here?" she asked as she got out of bed.
"Immigrants apparently" said James.
After first disconnecting herself from the IV, Pomfrey twirled her wand around herself to change from the hospital gown to her normal robes.
"They used it to keep you in a coma" said Remus. He sat on the floor emptying his bag, trying to figure out a way to bring the large leech with him. None of the containers he had with him were large enough to fit it.
"Don't you have class?" Pomfrey asked them.
"No we don't have any class" said James.
"Leave that leech" Pomfrey told Remus. "They will want it in the contamination ward"
"But we probably weren't supposed to know they were using it" Remus argued, tearing a large plastic bag from a roll. Pomfrey saw in the puddle of empty and non-empty containers the glass jar with the gross tissue and picked it up and looked through the loupe. Remus worried that she would want to take it to the contamination ward too, but she returned it.
"Go back to Hogwarts. I will take care of the leech" Pomfrey grabbed hold of the bagged leech with both hands carried it with her when she left.