Just Another Day In The Neighbourhood Chapter 14, a parodies and spoofs fanfic

Title: Just Another Day in the Neighbourhood

Word Count: 1k-ish

Written By: Cheese

Summary: Come to Casper Town. It's a lovely place built over hell, crisscrossed ley lines, and the meaning of life. The inhabitants are just as charming: A sweet old lady that knows how to destroy everything we care for, a mad scientist that may or may not be responsible for the dwindling pet population, an assassin that is…er…something, a PI that seems to be stuck in the noire-times, and pets that can communicate on a human-like level.

We bring smiles, a carnival, and murder.

Care to stay?

Chapter Fourteen: for (var i = 1; i != 0; i++) { consolelog ("infinite loop");};

and cal and i have a sort of friends with benefits thing going

—Cendi

Calm isn't a word usually associated with Casper Town. Chaosexplodnoisy is, owing to the type of people/things/Cendi who reside here, as well as the disturbances a constantly changing timeline and canon cause.

At the moment, however, the main street was...calm. Nothing major was happening. Sydney was leading an interested tourist to her apartment(which, for some reason, seems to only contain showers and closets), Zadi and Leaf were taking a break from detectiving and sipping coffee from Three Corners, Old Man Tard was talking about Casper Town's large number of ships with a crowd("There's Pladi, Sydneyxeveryone, Plendi, though only one person tends to use that ship, and so on..."), and Cheese's psychotic bunnies were chewing contentedly on a few deceased tourists.

Cheese suddenly appeared, not accompanied by a huge explosion and theme music as was usual, but rather faded in gently to Moonlight Sonata(1st mvt).

"Anyone summon me?" she asked, and everyone around shook their heads.

"OUT OF MY WAY, HEATHEN," a loud voice demanded. The Professor shoved Cheese out of the way as he strode past, and suddenly the reason for the calmness beforehand became clear: it was a technique used to really highlight the Professor's entrance in the chapter, the calmness contrasting with his loud shout.

"What's his problem?" Cheese asked, rubbing her arm- hmm. A rash the shape of a hand had appeared on her arm. Strange. As far as she knew, she was only allergic to potatoes.

"Pre-Monkey Syndrome," Leaf suggested. "He gets this visitor every month or so, and he always gets stressed beforehand. He told me in a interview with him," she added.

Cheese turned around, surprised. "He let you interview him?" The Professor didn't usually enjoy answering questions from tourists.

"Yes."

"He must like you or something, then." Cheese wondered how long it would take her to make Pleaf 4eva t-shirts.

"I think he liked me."

And Photoshop their faces onto wedding photos.

"Because he adopted me, for some reason..."

Dammit.

...Meh. Cheese made a note to made a Pleaf banner as well.

The door to WaGotP opened with a crash.

"perfect" Cendi said happily. She'd spent ages working on making the door mechanism dramatic enough. Sophie was in her lap, having been borrowed from Musa just so she could do the following:

She spun around in the swivel chair, stroking the purring cat.

"hello callie. ive been expecting you" she said to the figure in the doorway.

"Yeah, yeah. I saw the Leprechaun-Signal. What do you want? And be quick about it. I've got to get home and prepare for my visitor."

"okay."

"So what do you want? I hope it's important and not one of your tricks because I don't have time for it."

"no, no, not that at all. the opposite. i want a truce. no more tricks from either of us."

"A truce?" The Professor raised an eyebrow, suspecting a trick.

"4srs. look, follow me~"

Cendi led the Professor through the house, going up, down, sideways, into different dimensions, through secret passages. The Professor noted that the house had seemed smaller from the outside, and suddenly had a good idea about who had stolen his TARDIS.

They finally entered a room. It was bare, apart from a desk, a chair, and a...

The Professor's eyes widened. "It can't be," he exclaimed.

"it is."

On the desk, lay the newest MacBook.

"i really want a truce, you see. so i got you this."

"That's ...for me?"

"yes. At work, when nobody's looking, I bring in out and work on it. At home, on the bus, just everywhere. Whenever I can, I bring it out."

The Professor frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"oops. sorry. i think there was a similar scene to this in another universe and so our universes got muddled for a moment."

The Professor shook his head. He'd suddenly been seeing images of Cendi's Python. Weird.

"anyway, callie. this will be yours, after you type out a description of what happened, so our agreement to have a truce will be written down and then we'll sign to confirm it."

The Professor hesitated. He didn't exactly trust Cendi, but on the other hand, an Apple product was at stake.

"Agreed."

He sat on the chair and stretched his fingers, smiling at the MacBook that would soon be his, anticipating the beautiful feel of the keys.

"promise me you'll finish writing the story without taking a break?"

The Professor wasn't listening properly, too transfixed by the sight before him to ponder on what a weird request that was. "Hmm? Yeah, yeah, I swear on Lake Inky I'll finish in one go," he said, binding himself to the promise. After all, it would only take a thousand words or so, he estimated. Wanting to finish it as quick as possible, he began to type.

That's when he realised.

Realised what Cendi had plotted.

The account was going to be way longer than a thousand words.

He tried to stop.

But it was too late.

"You tricked me!"

Cendi stared at him innocently. "what? o.o"

"Don't act so innocent! You know full well what you did! You've got me trapped in a loop!"

"hmm?"

"You exploited my obsession with Apple products! I agreed to write down the account of how we're getting a truce, but inside that account I'm going to have to write the account that I'm writing because that happens in the account and inside that account I'll have to write the account I'm writing and so on, so it'll never end- What are you doing!?"

"collecting your exclamation marks. i can get a good price for them in the fangirls' market. ^_^ dont mind me. carry on." She stroked Sophie, who was still in her lap, seemingly unaware of the laws of physics suggesting that she should have fallen from Cendi when she'd gotten up from the chair.

The Professor sighed. "Why am I telling you this, anyway!? You know what you did!"

"oh, it's not for me. could you pause for a second? the readers need time to go over and understand your explanation."

"You can't do this to me!" the Professor snarled. He would have shook his fist, but his hands remained stuck to the keyboard, forced to type and type and type.

...She spun around in the swivel chair, stroking the purring cat.

"hello callie. ive been expecting you" she said to the figure in the doorway...

"XD. how about no you peasant. this is payback for that batman incident. brb i need to repair the fourth wall."

"Curse you, Cendi!" the cursing Professor cursed in a cursing way. He wouldn't be able to stop until Cendi agreed to let him stop. Which would probably not be for a very long time. Or at all. But he swore he would get his revenge as the door swung shut and footsteps grew fainter and fainter. "Be afraid, Cendi! Be very afraid!" he muttered darkly, already-aching fingers forced to tap on keys over and over and over again.

..."promise me you'll finish writing the story without taking a break?"

It is foretold that one day, a Hoodverse chapter will end, not because the author has lost interest in continuing the chapter, but because there's a proper reason for it to end.

However, it's not today.