Well kids, this story is starting to come to an end. There will be one more chapter after this. I again want to thank everyone for their kind reviews. They have been amazing.

Leo had not said a word since he had awaken, the terrible events from the night before still fresh in his mind. Sarah had come down the next morning to check on him, and when Donny had come over to help Leo had turned away from him, keeping his hurting eyes staring intently away from his brother.

Mikey had tried to approach Leo as well, but was also met with a hard, tense silence. Mikey had quickly left after his failure to talk to his oldest brother, leaving the hurting turtle alone. Leo couldn't bring himself to speak, his feelings of anger and embarrassment, and worst of all betrayal still raw within him.

When he had finally been left alone for awhile, Leo chanced to look around him and saw his family scattered around the basement, all of them chancing glances at him as if willing him to forgive them. But he could not bring himself to face them. They knew everything. Leo's privacy had been violated and his deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts were now public information. He felt physically sick every time he thought about it. Those things were never meant for his family to know.

Leo turned his head away once again, unable to continue looking at the family who he felt had betrayed him so blatantly. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath. Everything hurt. His injuries had been jarred roughly last night, leaving his mind hazy with pain. But nothing hurt worse than his aching heart. When he opened the brown orbs once again he saw something out of the corner of his eye. The black journal that had caused so much pain between him and his family sat on the arm of the couch where Raph had left it the night before. Leo hadn't noticed it until now. He desperately grabbed for it, feeling the hard dark binding between his fingers. He gripped the book tightly, staring intently at the deep black cover. Leo sighed shakily and cracked the book open, flipping past the first pages until he came to the one he desired. The dark eyes of Isabel met his and he felt his throat swell up. He painfully moved his hand toward the page letting his fingertip lightly trace over the drawn outline of her jaw and the soft sketch of her lips. The deep hole within his soul began to burn as he looked at her face, missing her just as much as ever.

A drop of moisture fell to the page, spreading through the fibers of the paper and causing a slight smear of the charcoal. Leo quickly wiped the tears from his eyes that had unknowingly appeared. It had been over half a year since she had died and the pain was still as raw as if it had just been yesterday. If only he could have gotten to her sooner, if only he could have saved her, then maybe things would be different, his whole life would be different. Leo closed his eyes, trying to bite back the deep pain.

Flashback

He took a deep breath of cool fresh air, his eyes closed, every muscle in his body relaxed. The soft sound of flowing water trickled past his ears and he sighed in content, letting his mind begin to drift. A loud call from a distant bird pulled him out of his thoughts and he opened his eyes in annoyance. Quiet was something that was hard to come by, even when he was alone in the middle of a virgin jungle. Leo smirked softly to himself and closed his eyes once again, taking another deep breath, relaxing his body and mind, his hands resting lightly on his crossed knees, trying to drown out everything around him.

"Guess who?" a voice from behind him laughed softly. He felt hands fall over his already closed eyes and Leo smiled warmly, immediately recognizing the musical voice.

"Well that isn't hard, you are the only person who knows I'm out here." Leo laughed in amusement, bringing his hands to her wrists and pulling them gently from his face.

"Darn, and I was so hoping to surprise you." She giggled, moving next to him and kneeling down giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"You did." Leo said honestly, his heart skipping a beat from the contact of her lips. "I thought you were supposed to be visiting your brother and his wife for a few days."

"Not happy to see me?" she pouted, but with a playfulness flitting in her eyes.

"No, I'm always happy to see you." Leo said leading her in front of him so he could see her. "Just surprised. A good surprise though." He added.

"I thought so." She said, smiling again. She sat down next to him in the soft grass. "I was supposed to go, but I didn't want to. That would require me leaving you for days and in the end I didn't want to go."

Leo found himself smiling, flattered and overjoyed that she wouldn't be leaving him alone out here for days. He looked up and saw her smiling at him and he felt his breath leave his lungs. No matter how many times he looked at her face, she always had that effect on him.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, scooting closer to him so that their bodies were touching. Leo swallowed hard.

"Well I was going to meditate for awhile," Leo said casually, but with a playful tone, "but you know, it's hard to do with crazy females sneaking up on you out of nowhere."

"Oh I see how it is!" she laughed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. "Well, don't let me interrupt. Come on, we'll meditate together. Show me how it's done."

Leo chuckled softly as he looked at her, her face trying to be serious but a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Alright." He said, unable to deny her anything. "First, you cross your legs, like how I'm doing." He watched with amusement as she pulled her legs together, giggling softly as she ungracefully tried to keep them in place.

"Like this?" she asked, once she had her legs positioned.

"Yep." He answered. "Now place your hands like this." He said, showing her what to do. She giggled again and followed his instructions. "Now take a deep breath and close your eyes, letting your mind relax, drowning out everything around you."

He heard her take a loud, deep breath next to him and couldn't help but crack his eye open to look at her. She was beautiful sitting there, her face relaxed, the sun filtering through the trees and highlighting her dark hair. He once again found himself breathless. He finally pulled his eyes away and closed them again, unable to stop smiling. They remained silent for a moment, neither moving or speaking. Leo began to let his mind slowly drift off once again in an attempt to meditate. Suddenly another loud call from a bird overhead rang out around them, causing both of them to jump. The air around them was suddenly filled with Isabel's laughter.

"That's nice!" she said between giggles. "Hard to concentrate when there's a mating macaw in the area, isn't it?"

"Is that what that is?" Leo said, snickering to himself. "They can't mate quietly, can they?"

"Apparently not." Isabel laughed. She looked over at him and smiled, placing a soft hand atop his. "I think this whole meditation thing is a lost cause. Let's give up on it and go walking." She stood and put a hand down to him, beckoning him to follow. He smiled and took her hand and lifted himself to his feet.

They walked for hours, hand in hand, talking about everything and nothing. It was becoming dark when they finally returned to the cave he called home. They sat down on the soft grass and both put their bare feet into the cool running water of the nearby stream. Neither said anything for a long while, both sitting quietly, taking comfort in the others presence. Leo found himself startled slightly when she finally spoke, her voice cutting through the silence.

"I'm going with you." She said, her voice certain and unwavering.

"What do you mean?" he asked, unsure of what she spoke of.

"I'm going with you." She repeated. "When you leave to go back to New York. I'm going to come with you."

It took Leo a moment to realize his mouth was hanging open. He closed it and continued to stare at her in shock, completely speechless. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes blazing and determined. He swallowed hard, his heart was beating quickly in his chest. He felt an overwhelming surge of affection toward her, joy swelled in his chest at the thought of bringing Isabel to New York, but the flitting feeling of happiness didn't last long as reality slowly sank in.

"No, you can't." he said, his voice soft. "I can't let you do that."

"You can't let me?" she asked, her voice still determined. "It is my decision Leo, and I have made it. I am going with you."

Leo shook his head, still shocked at the certainty in her voice. He wanted nothing more but for this to happen. To take Isabel home with him, to introduce her to his family, to live out the rest of his life with her, but he knew it could never happen.

"I will never be able to lead a normal life." He said, sadness filling his voice. "I will always live a life of hiding, always in the shadows, never able to be normal and give you everything you need. You don't deserve that."

"Leo, I…" Isabel began, but he cut her off.

"You deserve someone that can provide for you, give you a normal life, give you everything that you want and make you happy." He continued, dropping his eyes to the ground, trying to keep his voice strong and certain, but hearing it wavering, giving his uncertainty away. "I will never be able to provide that for you." He said sadly.

She stared at him, her mouth drawn into a tight line, her eyes still blazing as she watched him. "You say I deserve to be happy?" she asked, her voice still strong. He nodded. "You say I deserve to get everything that I want?" He nodded again, swallowing hard. "What if all of that is you?" she finished, never letting her gaze wander from him.

His head snapped back up, his eyes meeting her unwavering stare. He opened his mouth to speak again but she interrupted. "I know life would never be easy." She said firmly. "And I know that life would never be normal. But what if I don't want normal? All of my life I have felt like something was missing, like I was just drifting through life, the things that I've always wanted just out of my reach. But then I met you, and things started making sense. I'm happy, Leo. I'm happy, and believe it or not it's because of you."

"Why me?" he suddenly said, anger and frustration lacing his words. He stood quickly and began to pace back and forth through the soft grass, his emotions beginning to boil out of control. "Why me?" he asked again, as if that would give him an answer. "I'm a freak, Isabel. I'm a mutant, an animal. You deserve better than me. You deserve…" but he couldn't finish his sentence, a lump was quickly forming in his throat and his voice became thick with emotion. He continued to pace frantically back and forth trying to gain control, but a soft touch to his arm was all it took to still him.

"You are not a freak." She said strongly, forcing him to look into her eyes. "And you are not an animal. You are more of a man, more human, than anybody I've ever met. You are a miracle, Leonardo, don't you see that? There is no one out there like you. How many times do I have to tell you how special you are, and that I love you?"

Leo tried to look away at those words, but she moved her hand to his face and brought his eyes back to meet hers. He was surprised to find tears shining at the edges of her dark orbs. "I love you. I meant it that night I told you for the first time, and I mean it now. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how amazing you truly are."

Leo swallowed hard as an overwhelming feeling of love swelled in his chest. He realized then that he could not live without her and he didn't want to. He took a deep breath, and he raised his hand and softly brushed the tears from her cheek with his finger.

"I'm coming with you." She said again, her voice soft but still determined, and Leo did nothing but nod, swallowing back the lump in his throat.

"I know." He whispered, his voice shaking.

She smiled then and moved her body closer to his, bringing her lips closer…

"She was very beautiful." A voice said from behind him. Leo drew in a sharp, surprised breath and closed the book quickly with a snap. He roughly wiped the wetness from his eyes and narrowed them, his lips tightened in annoyance.

"Come on Leo, talk to me." Raph pleaded, sitting down in the chair. Leo didn't move or speak, his eyes intently turned away, boring a hole into the back of the couch, the vivid memory of Isabel still fresh in his mind.

Raph sighed. He could feel the anger and sadness radiating off of his brother's body, but he knew he needed to get through to him now. The family had let him have all day to himself, but Raph couldn't wait any longer. They couldn't wait until Leo had time to bury all of his emotions again, if there was going to be healing, it had to be now.

"Leo, come on, at least look at me." Raph said, putting a hand on Leo's arm. Leo quickly shrugged it away and out of Raph's grasp.

"Go away, Raph." Leo muttered darkly.

"I remember a time when we could tell each other anything." Raph continued, ignoring Leo's comment. "I felt like I could always come to you when I had a problem, and I think you felt the same. I want that back Leo. Please, let me help you."

"I don't need help."

Raph's eyes narrowed. 'Like hell you don't need help.' Raph thought. This 'nice and caring' approach wasn't working, it was time to try another one.

"You know, Leo, it's unlike you to run from anything." Raph started, staring intently at his brother's back waiting for a reaction. "But you're running from this and running from us. You're acting like a coward."

Leo's muscles stiffened at Raph's words but he still didn't turn or say a word. Raph felt triumphant at getting a reaction and decided to continue.

"You're always telling us, 'Don't keep your feelings bottled up' and constantly trying to get us to share our feelings with you. But when we want you to share your feelings with us, ya clam up and hide. So not only have ya been acting like a coward, but you've been a hypocrite as well." Raph said.

"Stop it, Raph." Leo growled dangerously, his voice shaking.

"I don't know why I ever looked up to you." Raph continued. "You seem all tough on the outside, so sure and confident, but on the inside you are puddle of fear. You can't even face your own feelings."

"You don't know how it is!" Leo said, his voice growing higher, suddenly feeling the need to defend himself. "You don't understand!"

"Then tell me!" Raph said, matching Leo's tone. "Make me understand."

"No…" Leo said, his voice weakening.

"Why?" Raph said with frustration. "Why can't you talk to me?"

"Because…"

"Because why, Leo?" Raph pushed, feeling like he was finally getting somewhere. "All we want to do is help you. Why can't you let us?"

"Because…" Leo tried again.

"Because why?"

"Because it hurts to much…" Leo admitted, his voice shrinking to a whisper.

Leo turned his body toward Raph slowly, his eyes hollow and dull. Raph didn't recognize those lost eyes at all. They were not the eyes of his strong and vibrant leader, they belonged to a broken turtle, and they frightened him. He took a deep breath.

"Leo, I can't imagine the pain you felt in that jungle." Raph said softly. "I can't imagine how alone you felt, or how scared you were, or the anger and the grief..."

"You're right, you can't!" Leo interrupted, suddenly feeling a surge of anger return. "You could never understand. You can't understand what it feels like to go somewhere completely foreign, isolated from everything you've ever known. You can't imagine how it felt to finally find a light in the darkness, only to have that light put out. You can't dream of how it felt to finally return to what you knew before, only to realize you didn't know it at all anymore and that none of the things that comforted you before could make you happy. To be met with nothing but hostility from everyone that had once loved you. You couldn't understand. None of you could!"

Raph flinched slightly, knowing that he was the source of most of the hostility that Leo spoke of. But that wasn't going to be him anymore. That was in the past, this was now, and now Raph was going to be there for his brother. No more hostility, no more arguments. The only way he could heal that part of Leo's hurt was to show him he was going to be there for him, and that's exactly what Raph intended to do.

"I'm sure that Isabel would hate to see you punish yourself like this," Raph said.

"Don't speak of her!" Leo hissed, a sharp pain shooting through his heart at the mention of her name. He clutched sharply at his neck where Raph now knew the small woven necklace lay.

"She wouldn't want this for you." Raph continued. "She wouldn't want you to blame yourself for what happened."

"You don't know anything about her!" Leo said, his voice rising once again. "How would you know the first thing about what she would want?"

"Because she loved you." Raph said simply. He watched as Leo took in a sharp, pained breath, but felt triumph as he saw some of the previous anger begin to leak out of his brother's body at his words. Leo seemed to sink into the cushions right before Raph's eyes, slowly deflating.

"You don't know." Leo said, now struggling to find the fight that had been raging within him just moments before.

"I do." Raph said. "I read what you wrote. There was no other conclusion to come to. She loved ya Leo. Love. The real thing." He watched as Leo's face twisted painfully at his words. He was getting through to him, he felt it.

"I also read what you wrote of that day." Raph continued. "You did everything that you could. She was beyond help Leo, and she knew that."

"I should have gotten there sooner." Leo said, his voice cracking, once again consumed by guilt and grief, the anger that had been raging through him only moments before forgotten.

"You got there as fast as you could. There was no way you could have gotten there sooner." Raph reassured.

"I should have gotten her to a doctor. I should have saved her." Leo continued, his voice becoming shakier.

"A doctor couldn't have helped her." Raph said. "She knew that. She didn't want to spend her last hours with a doctor. She wanted to spend them with you."

"I failed her. I've failed everyone. I'm a failure." Leo choked out as he took deep shuddering breaths, his emotions boiling dangerously, his previous anger forgotten as he drowned in his dark feelings.

"You have never failed anyone." Raph said. "You didn't fail her, and most of all you have never failed us. You have never come close to failing. You are a good friend, and most of all, you are a great brother."

Leo gasped in a deep breath, the pain within him becoming violent. Tears began to fall from his eyes unhindered. He felt as though his heart was going to rip in two. He turned his head from his brother, ashamed of the tears that were now flowing freely from his eyes.

"You are not a failure Leo. You're family loves you. Isabel loved you. You have never failed. You have succeeded at everything." Raph said softly, trying desperately to reassure his brother.

"God…" Leo sobbed, his defenses shattering to pieces at his brother's words. "I miss her so much. I can't take it." Raph sank off the chair to his knees and wrapped his eldest brother into a tight embrace. Leo turned and grasped at him tightly as if he were a frightened child, burying his face into Raph's shoulder, his sobs coming unhindered.

"Shhh, it's gonna be O.K." Raph said. "It hurts, I can't imagine how much it hurts. But it's gonna be O.K."

Leo sobbed louder into his shoulder, the deep pain and grief that he had kept bottled up for months finally coming to the surface and leaking out violently and unhindered. Raph barely noticed as his two other brothers and his father made their way over to the scene, finally feeling it was time to show their support.

Mikey squeezed in and wrapped another pair of strong arms around his ailing brother, laying his head lightly on Leo's back as he grasped his shaking form. Donny laid a strong hand on Leo's shoulder and squeezed tightly in reassurance. Splinter softly stroked the part of Leo's forehead that wasn't buried in Raph's shoulder and softly whispered soothing words.

"You're family is here for you." Raph said, squeezing Leo tighter. "You are not alone." Leo cried harder as he felt his family's loving arms surround him. His hands clung tighter to Raph's body, craving the comfort he had needed for so long.

The family stayed like that for an unknown amount of time, allowing Leo to grieve and never backing down in their support and comfort. Soon Leo's sobs began to subside as his energy began to drain out of him. Not long after the room began to quiet, each member of the family slowly drifting off, all of them still attached in some way to their blue clad family member.

And that is how Sarah and April found them the next morning. Neither of the two had the heart to wake them as they watched the tight knit family of five squeezed as tightly together as they possibly could be, all fast asleep, all holding one another.

Leo slowly and groggily opened his swollen eyes, squinting them harshly against the bright sunlight filtering in through the basement window near by. He tried to stretch his uncasted arm, but felt it being held down. He looked up and saw Raph asleep, his head leaning softly against it.

It didn't take him long to remember what had happened the night before. He blushed brightly as shame and embarrassment burned within him. He looked around him, remembering the rest of his family gathered around him as well. Mikey was curled up next to Raph, his head laying on Leo's plastron and his arm draped over it as if he was still caught in a long hug. He could hear soft breathing above him and assumed they were coming from Don and Master Splinter. He took a deep breath, trying to swallow back his shame, his face twisted into a frown.

"Don't you dare do that." A deep, groggy voice said. Leo turned his head quickly to his side and saw Raph's sleepy eyes looking at him.

"Do what?" Leo said, his voice still hoarse from his breakdown the night before.

"Judge yourself for what happened last night." Raph said softly. He stared at Leo with calculating eyes as if trying to read his brother's thoughts. Leo turned his head away quickly.

"I'm sorry that happened." Leo admitted, closing his eyes softly. "I didn't mean…"

"You have nothin to be sorry for." Raph said, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Except for maybe keeping all of that bottled away and hidden from your family for so long."

Leo blushed again and frowned.

"It's O.K. to cry sometimes." Raph said. "Especially after what you've been through. I wish you wouldn't have kept it away from us for so long."

"I just…I couldn't…I still don't really feel like I can…" Leo stuttered, once again at a loss of what to say. He was slightly taken aback at this new, caring side of Raphael and was still uncertain on how to proceed.

"You have to talk about it, Leo. It'll help you heal. I'm here to listen and help. We all are." Raph said, gesturing around to the rest of their family, still asleep.

"I know…" Leo said softly, still uncertain. He heard a soft mumble and looked down to see Mikey softly talking in his sleep. He smiled softly and his heart warmed slightly as he stared at his youngest brother. Maybe Raph was right. Maybe this is what he needed. To talk about everything. It was a terrifying thought, drudging up all the happy and painful memories of the past year, but with the strength of his family helping him, maybe, just maybe he could push through it. But he was still unsure about everything. His family hadn't exactly been one hundred percent supportive in the past, but, Leo knew, part of that was his fault for never being open with them. He sighed softly as his stomach twisted with nervousness.

Raph watched his brother, wondering what thoughts were passing through his head. He could tell that Leo was still unsure of whether or not he should talk about everything. Raph could understand how scary sharing your feelings was, hell, he felt that fear every day. He hated sharing feelings. But this was what Leo needed, and maybe if Raph started off, he might be able to get Leo to open up a little bit more too. He took a deep breath, determined to tear down the thick wall that had been separating him and his family.

"I felt horrible when I read your journal." Raph started, digging deep within himself for the courage to share his feelings. "I knew I was always hard on you, Leo. But I never knew how much it actually affected you. I'm sorry, man, for all of it."

Leo glanced wearily at Raph, shocked once again by this new side to his normally hard and angry brother. Something had changed in him over the past week, but Leo was still uncertain, wary. "It wasn't your fault." Leo said, trying to ease his guilt.

"Are you trying to say it was yours?" Raph said, frustration once again creeping into his voice. "Leo, not everything is your fault. I misunderstood you…we all did. I thought you were just trying to be a pompous show off. I had no idea that all of your practicing was because you were afraid of failing us. A stupid fear, by the way."

"No it wasn't." Leo said, anger lacing his voice. "I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect my own family. You all got hurt. I should have been able to stop it."

"You can't be our little guardian angel every second of every day." Raph said, trying to talk reason into his brother. "You did your best, and if it wasn't for you we all could have died. You didn't fail any of us. You defeated the Shredder for God sake. You're a hero!"

"We defeated the Shredder." Leo corrected, eyeing the rest of his slumbering family.

"You're right, we all helped. And you did a great job leading us to success. You aren't a failure Leo. So what if we all got some scratches and bruises, we're all still alive aren't we?"

"It was more than scratches and bruises." Leo said softly, remembering back to that horrible night, unsure if any of his family were still alive. Blood had covered the floor, a mix of both foot and turtle. He shuddered slightly.

"So what?" Raph said. "We are all O.K. Stop punishing yourself for something that was out of your control."

Leo's brow furrowed roughly and his lips tightened. He still felt guilty that his family had been hurt, but they were still alive. And from what Raph was telling him, they didn't think anything less of him for allowing them to be injured. He swallowed hard and looked over at the red banded turtle, meeting concerned eyes. He gave Raph a small smile and took a deep breath, feeling that burden lighten, if only a bit at his brother's words.

"Thanks, Raph." Leo said genuinely.

"No problem, bro." Raph said.

Leo stared at his brother for a long moment. He was almost starting to see the same brother that had been his best friend so many years ago. His brown eyes were no longer hard and filled with resentment and distain, they were soft and filled with concern and love. Leo smiled.

"Hey, bro, you're awake." Mikey's voice said groggily from somewhere below. Leo saw his youngest sibling look up at him, a bit of drool wet his red cheek, his face holding a nervous expression as he stared at Leo, trying to find any hint of the anger that had been directed at him before.

"Dude, I'm sorry we read…" Mikey started.

"It's O.K." Leo said, reaching his hand out to take Mikey's. "I should never have kept any of it from you in the first place."

"Darn right!" Mikey exclaimed suddenly, rising to his knees and inching closer to Leo's head. "We want to help you bro. I don't want you to be sad anymore."

"I don't want that either, Mikey." Leo said honestly, squeezing Mikey's hand tightly.

"Yeah, you better not." Raph said gruffly, but a smirk gracing his face. "Keep stuff like that away from us again and we'll kick you're sorry shell."

Leo laughed lightly, his heart slightly uplifted. He heard stirring from above and knew his father and Don were probably waking up as well. He felt his cheeks beginning to redden with embarrassment once again as facing his whole family became imminent, but one reassuring look from Raph was all it took to calm his nerves.

"Hey, Leo." Don said with apprehension. "How are you feeling?"

Leo gave Don a small smile, showing him he was no longer angry. "I feel O.K." Leo said honestly. "I think I'm going to be alright."

"It's good to hear that, my son." Splinter said softly, placing his hand on Leo's shoulder. Leo closed his eyes softly, feeling oddly comforted that his family was surrounding him, even after all that happened. He looked around to each of their faces, seeing no pity, no anger, no resentment, no disgust…only love and support. Leo suddenly felt stronger than he had in a long time.

"Hey, Leo?" Mikey ventured, his voice sounding soft and meek. "What…what was it like…you know, in Central America?"

Leo drew in a deep breath, not expecting these questions to pop up so soon. His stomach began to flutter as he thought of everything that had happened in those foreign jungles. He wasn't sure if he was ready yet. He didn't know if he could face it all. It was still so soon.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want." Mikey added, slightly worried at his brother's silence.

Leo tried to calm his nerves, wanting to answer his brother but not trusting himself to speak. He swallowed hard. A strong hand on his arm caused him to look to his side and he met Raph's eyes, willing him to speak and showing nothing but support. Leo took a deep breath, suddenly feeling stronger.

"No, Mikey. I don't want to keep anything from you guys anymore." Leo said, looking back at Raph, giving him a small nervous smile. He felt another strong hand take his shoulder and Leo took a deep breath, finding his strength through his family.

"It was really beautiful." Leo started, closing his eyes lightly as if remembering all of the vivid colors. "The air was clean, the trees were thick and green, the water was blue and unpolluted, there were animals of all shapes, sizes and colors everywhere. It was truly an untouched paradise. I could move freely in the daylight and never have to worry about being seen. It was truly amazing…but lonely…"

"Then you met…her…" Don started, unsure if the question was appropriate yet. He had been trying to read up on treating depression and many of the books had said that talking about the issues was the best way, but Don was afraid to broach the subject with his oldest brother, afraid that it was too soon.

Leo swallowed hard. "Yeah…" he said softly.

"What was she like?" Splinter asked, wanting to keep his son talking.

"She…she was…" Leo struggled to find words to describe Isabel. No words that he could think of seemed to do her justice. He took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to keep his now raging emotions in check. He suddenly felt a small rough tongue on his arm and looked down to see 'Hope' peering at him. A familiar feeling of comfort filled him and Leo smiled softly at the tabby.

"She was beautiful." He finally said, closing his eyes, picturing her face in his mind. "Her smile was so genuine, it could make you feel happy even if nothing else in your life felt right. And her eyes were deep and caring. Every time she looked at you, you were the most important person in the world. She had a way of doing that…of making you feel like you were good, and important, and that just being you was O.K." Leo's voice cracked slightly as his throat began to swell at her memory.

"She sounds like she was amazing." Raph said, patting Leo on the arm. Leo nodded, trying to swallow back the lump forming in his throat.

"She really was." He said softly, his voice shaking.

"You really loved her, didn't you?" Donny asked, taken aback by the flood of emotion this girl brought into his brother. He had found it hard to believe that his brother had truly found love far away in Central America, but seeing him now, in person, pain seated deep in his eyes, Don could see that Leo really had experienced love. Something Donny had only ever been able to dream about.

"Yeah…" Leo said, brushing tears from his cheeks. "Yeah, I really did. I still do…"

"She loved you too, you know." Raph stated.

"Yeah…yeah, I…she told me…" Leo stammered, his voice growing even softer. "She was going to come with me…back here. She was ready to leave her whole family and come here. I think she wanted to leave that night…that night I got back…before..." He trailed off, his voice lost. He felt tears beginning to form in his eyes. This hurt too much…he couldn't do this…

"It's O.K., my son." Splinter said soothingly. "It's O.K. to be scared, it's O.K. to cry. What happened to you was horrible and tragic. It's only natural to feel this way."

"I just…" Leo choked, "I just miss her so much. I wish she were still here. Everything would be different. If only I had…"

"It wasn't your fault." Raph reminded him. "None of what happened was your fault."

Leo sniffed loudly, but nodded hollowly. He still couldn't convince himself that everything that had happened that night wasn't his fault, but Raph's reassurances were starting to help. He couldn't believe he was talking about this, with his family no less. He thought he could never speak of her, that he would crumble with the grief of even trying, but somehow, with his family here with him he was finding the strength. Though it hurt immensely, it felt good to talk about her. Her face became clearer in his mind as though he was remembering her better. He was starting to remember small things about her that he had started to forget. Leo took a deep, shuddering breath and reached out to take Raph's supporting hand. Raph took it quickly and squeezed it.

"It must have been amazing…" Mikey said softly. "Finding someone like that."

"It was, Mikey." Leo said, softly. "You would have really liked her."

"I know I would have." Mikey said, a small grin on his face.

"We all would have liked her." Splinter said, placing a hand on Leo's forehead. "She took care of you and made you happy. We would have all loved her for that."

Leo swallowed thickly, but smiled. He had never loved his family more than he did at that very moment, seeing their genuine love and concern and understanding all reaching out to comfort him.

"Thank you." He whispered, his voice becoming hoarse.

"Hey, you're our brother." Raph said, giving Leo a playful shove on the arm. "We'd do anything for ya."

"We love you, Leonardo." Splinter said, his voice soft but strong. "Always remember that. And always remember you are never alone."

Leonardo smiled, the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness that had consumed him for unknown months beginning to slowly break away. He began to see light in his previously darkened life. This past year had been the worst of his life, but he found it coming to an end. As long as his family was with him he would survive. It would be hard to keep going without her, but he finally felt like there was a possibility for happiness.

Leo's eyes suddenly felt heavy, and he found it hard to keep them open. Sharing the things he had had taken a lot out of his still weakened body. His family must have noticed his growing sleepiness. They all began to stand, wanting to give him time to rest.

"Get some sleep." Don said.

"Yeah, don't let the bed bugs bite!" Mikey said, lightening the mood.

"We will be here when you wake up." Splinter said with a smile.

"You won't be alone." Raph added, giving Leo's hand another squeeze.

Leo sighed softly and closed his eyes. As his body began to give into sleep, he thought he heard a soft female voice laughing softly in his ear and a wisp of hair brush past his cheek. Leo let a small smile grace his lips. No, he was not alone, and he never would be.