Chapter 14

Something Miserable This Way Comes

"Um, your Heinous?"

Lucifer looked up from his desk and saw his worthless assistant standing in front of him. "What is it? Can't you see I'm busy?" The short red devil snapped impatiently.

Samael looked onto his boss' desk and saw Lucifer's extremely important playing card tower nearly finished with construction. "Sorry sir, but it's that girl again. She wants to speak with you."

"What girl?" Lucifer asked disinterestedly as he attempted to add another card onto his masterpiece.

"That human girl, you know the short one in the dress; really loud and nasty."

"Not ringing a bell." The red devil dismissed as he carefully placed another card on the tower.

Samael sighed. "She threw a rock at me and knocked me off your balcony." The troll still felt the pain on the side of his head from the blow.

"Ohhhh her," the devil instantly recognized just who Samy was speaking of, "well send her in then."

Samy scurried back toward the elevator and entered, heading down towards the main lobby. Lucifer continued building his card tower, paying little attention to the elevator, which was now heading back up towards his office. The doors finally opened again, and out came Heloise.

"Um hello Mr. Lucifer." She nearly whispered as she stood on the far side of his office.

"Well? Are you going to come over here or what?" He barked irritably. Why were so many people interrupting him when he was so busy?

Heloise slowly strolled toward Lucifer's desk. The red devil didn't even bother to look up at her. "So I trust my little Two-Shoes problem has been taken care of, correct?"

"Um, not exactly." She exclaimed softly.

Lucifer's hand froze in the middle of placing a new card onto his tower. "What do you mean 'Not exactly'?" He questioned with a rising tone of anger in his voice.

"Uh," Heloise quickly tried to shift the blame away from herself, "You see I've been trying my absolute best. I dished out Grade A misery all day yesterday, but this Jimmy guy, he's unbreakable!" She could see Lucifer's eyes narrowing. This wasn't looking good for her. "I swear; the guy's an impenetrable rock. It would take some kind of miracle to make him mise-"

"STOP." Lucifer sternly commanded, cutting off the girl's rambling excuse. "So basically what I'm hearing is: you failed, correct?"

Heloise swallowed and looked down. "Yes."

The red devil put his card down and hopped off of his chair. "Typical. Why the heaven did I send a little girl to do this?" He questioned himself rhetorically.

Heloise bit her tongue and forced her eyes shut, trying her best not to explode with anger. Normally the words 'little girl' would cause her to snap into a murderous rage, but she felt now was not the best time to let loose, especially with Lucifer so angry.

"Well, looks like I'm gonna have to fix this myself. As usual." He sighed exhaustedly. The short red devil stretched both his arms and then inhaled. "SAMAAEEEEEL!" He bellowed with all of his breath.

"Yes sir?" The troll quickly flew out of the elevator and ran to his boss's side.

"Call Molotov and tell him to get over to my office pronto." The Heinous declared. "I want Two-Shoes brought to be in chains." A small grin spread across the red devil's face. "I'm going to make an example of him."

"Yes sir, right away." Samael ran back to the elevator and descended downward back to the lobby.

"Oh, and as for you," Lucifer suddenly shifted his attention back to Heloise, "what kind of a serial killer are you anyway? Was it really that hard to make one teenage boy cry a little? To make him bleed and suffer just a smidge? Hmmmm?" He questioned angrily.

"You- You don't understand. He's different than anybody I've ever met before. Nothing makes him sad, or angry! He's incapable of feeling anything but happiness! I tried to decapitate him and he made me lemonade! LE-MON-ADE!" Heloise echoed with exasperation as she shook the short red devil by his collar.

Lucifer broke the girl's grip on his suit and then stared at her. "Oh my Satan."

Heloise looked at him suspiciously. His eyes seemed to be fixated on her face. "What?" She asked with a hint of panic in her voice.

The red devil's stare morphed into a look of disgust. "You. You're blushing."

Heloise instantly put her hand to her face and felt a large amount of heat emitting from it.

"You… You like him, don't you?" Lucifer suddenly blurted out. He watched Heloise's blushing pink face grow even redder. "Uck, you do! You like, like him! Oh that's just SICK!"

The red devil felt like he was going to throw up. Heloise quickly tried to recover and defend herself. "WHAT? I do NOT like him! How could you even think that? I hate that guy! He put me through Hell yesterday!" She then echoed her denial with force. "I DON'T LIKE HIM!"

But Lucifer was still gagging, ignoring her attempts to save face. "*Gack* Ohhhh," he moaned, with a sickly tone in his voice, "I- I need some air. *Hurk*"

He held his stomach and began to crawl towards the elevator. Heloise stood still, continuing her rant. "I mean, it's not like he's cute or anything! He's an idiot! I could never like an idiot! And his giggling; UGH, it drives me CRAZY!" She shouted. Her entire face had gone red as she continued sounding her denial to an imaginary Lucifer.

Finally she stopped. Lucifer had just closed the doors to the elevator, which began to descend toward the first floor of the factory. The girl stood alone in Lucifer's large office.

Heloise exhaled with exhaustion; she could still feel her hot face blushing. She felt like dying, but of course that was impossible since she was already in Hell. There was absolutely no way she'd be getting a job at the factory anytime soon.

"Today couldn't possibly get any worse…" She groaned.