Chapter Fourteen

Guilt, it Does a Mother Good

"Hazelle?" Katniss didn't consider it cowardice that she checked on Haymitch and started the arduous process of dealing with the insurance adjuster before she went to Hazelle's. These things had to be done and if that put her at Hazelle's a mere half an hour before school let…well, it just couldn't be helped.

She'd fill Hazelle in on the facts as they were, then go get Posy to spend the afternoon with her. Hopefully Thread would be stupid, get caught and she could bring her daughter home before the end of the week.

"Hello, Katniss." The tone gave it away. In all the years that Katniss had known the older woman, she'd only heard that chilly tone when Kat and Gale were at odds. Hazelle could be unforgiving when it came to one of her boys. Even if they were at fault.

Katniss made her way into the tiny four-bedroom ranch house, through the living room where pictures of Gale and his younger brothers Rory and Vick were the main decorating choice. Pictures littered every available surface, graduations, school plays and other important events in the boys life from birth to current were staring back at her. If she wasn't so used to it, she might think it a bit creepy.

Pictures of Posy were interspersed here and there in the same loving kind of way and if you looked close, you might find one or two of Katniss and even Peeta. Of course, Gale and Katniss' wedding picture-with Gale in his father's shirt and Katniss in a borrowed white dress, Prim and Peeta witnessing-was displayed over the fireplace.

That she did consider a bit creepy.

But, seeing as how she had the same picture up in her own home, she couldn't really judge. Katniss didn't want to acknowledge the tiny voice inside of her that had been mentioning for a year or so that it might be time to take it down. As she looked at the picture now, that voice seemed to get a little louder as she eyed Peeta standing, grinning behind Gale.

With a sigh, Katniss moved beyond the living room to the hall where the bedrooms lay. She didn't have to call out again to know where she'd find her mother in law. Gale's room was just the way he left it when he moved out to start his life with Katniss. Right after they'd gotten married, he, Katniss and Prim had stayed with the Hawthorne's for a short time. Katniss, for as much as she loved her mother in law, was going crazy the entire time.

Yearbooks, football trophies, even his letter jacket were preserved in a shrine that was again, borderline creepy. Katniss had offered to help Hazelle go through it all and her mother in law had politely and firmly said no. If Katniss didn't know how sane Hazelle was, she might be concerned. She supposed that the older woman would come to terms with it in her own time and then she'd get rid of it herself.

The fact that Katniss found her there wasn't unexpected, but it did make her a little disappointed and sad, because she had no doubt what caused Hazelle to seek refuge in her oldest sons room.

"Hi," Katniss stepped in the doorway, determinedly looking at the woman sitting on the bed and not the tomb around her.

"How's Haymitch?" Hazelle had echoed Gale's concern when it came to the old drunk. She knew that Haymitch had grown on her over the years, but Katniss wasn't exactly sure she was particularly concerned with his health, now that he wasn't in danger of dying.

"He'll be fine. I think Effie is going to make him go home with her." She chuckled at the thought of Haymitch surrounded by a sea of pink, lacy pillows, drinking his hooch out of a crystal glass. If Effie let him have it, of course. Katniss frowned when Hazelle's lips didn't even twitch. It was then she noticed what the older woman was clutching in her hands. Gale's graduation portrait, his familiar smirk staring up at Katniss.

"Hazelle," Katniss started with a sigh.

"Are you with him now?" Hazelle's question was coated with tears and accusation. Katniss considered lying to her for less than a second. It would do no good and be an insult to everyone involved.

"Yes." She said simply, offering no other explanation. Hazelle's lips pursed at that and Katniss saw the shine of tears in her clear, grey eyes. The same eyes she shared with all her sons.

"Well, isn't that nice."

Katniss tried not to huff or roll her eyes or let the anger at the guilt Hazelle was getting ready to bestow on her come out. It was a hard battle.

"I buried my husband when Vick was two." And never remarried, Katniss thought to herself. It had always been a matter of pride to Hazelle that she had always considered herself married, even now that her husband had been gone for so long. "Hawthorne's marry for life."

"Peeta and I aren't exactly picking out china patterns, Hazelle." They hadn't spoken about anything even close to it. She knew they loved each other and that was enough for right now. With Thread such a threat, thinking of anything else was frivolous.

Katniss didn't want this conversation with Hazelle to escalate into a fight. She didn't want there to be things said that couldn't be unsaid.

There were aspects to hers and Gale's relationship that no one needed to know. The fights, the tension, the unspoken resentment. They never should have gotten married. She knew now that she had used him to secure her ability to keep Prim. He'd let her.

They'd been too similar to survive. They both had an inner fire that fed off each other. Made for great sex, but a fire like that can't burn for long without consuming everything. It took her twenty odd years to realize that Peeta could temper her fire without dousing it under the weight of his will and that life could be good after all.

"I will always miss Gale." Katniss said carefully, trying not to upset her mother in law any more than she was already.

"But he's not here and Peeta is." Hazelle finished, her tone cold despite the heat of her tears.

"That's not fair," Katniss snapped, that inner fire licking her temper up. Hazelle's back stiffened and her grey eyes turned molten. Gale had inherited so much more than his eyes from his mother. "Wait, wait." Katniss threw her hands up to still the tirade that was about to spew from Hazelle's mouth and forced her anger down. "We can't fight."

"I don't want to fight with you, Katniss." Hazelle sniffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Katniss couldn't hold back the sigh this time and she pushed away from the doorframe and sat on the bed next to Hazelle.

"This is Peeta. Not some random guy off the street. He's family. You love him." She said gently, reminding the older woman that this was a man she'd raised just as assuredly as she'd raised her sons. She was the mother he'd needed when his own had barely acknowledged him. She was the one cheering her boys when they went to the State championships. She'd been the one that arranged the party when Peeta had gotten into college in the Capital. "Don't be angry because I do too."

Katniss' eyes never wavered from Hazelle's. She silently begged her mother in law to understand. Hazelle pulled in a shaky breath, than another and another until she seemed steadier. Then she reached a hand out to Katniss, which the younger woman took gratefully.

"I miss him so much." Hazelle breathed, the pain in her voice squeezing Katniss' heart.

"I know. I do, too." Then, the women were in each other's arms, tears flowing free as they both grieved once more.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." Hazelle gasped several minutes later when they'd calmed. Katniss wondered how it seemed that none of them had properly grieved for Gale, and how the events of the past several weeks were making it all come to a head. She thought she had let him go. But now, as she looked into the eyes of his mother, she realized she hadn't really. Or maybe it was just the guilt of marrying him under false pretenses that she'd struggled to let go of. "Gale wouldn't have wanted you to be alone. And he loved Peeta like his brother. He'll be good for you."

"Yeah, he will. Thank you, Hazelle. For everything you've done and everything you've been to me. I wouldn't have gotten through it all without your help." She went easily when Hazelle pulled her into her arms again.

"You didn't become my daughter the day you married Gale. You already were." This brought on another rush of tears and hugs, emotion stealing anything else they might have said. When they pulled apart, Katniss noticed the time as she was drying her eyes.

"The bus will be here soon. I'm going to stay and spend time with Posy, then put her to bed."

"Are you sure that you two should be staying out at the farm? I have plenty of room here." Hazelle asked with concern.

"We'll be ok. I just can't leave it unattended. Thank you for keeping Posy though."

"Of course. She keeps me young." Hazelle smiled and with it, the last of the tension in the room was dissolved. "I'll order pizza for dinner. You can call Peeta if you'd like." She said quietly. Katniss gave her a smile and nodded.

"Thank you." Then she hugged Hazelle once more and headed out to pick up Posy. As she walked down to the bus stop, Katniss felt so much lighter. Despite the threat of Thread hanging over her and the fact that Posy wouldn't be home because of that, she felt at peace for the first time.

At peace and happy.

A/N-Oh my goodness, its been a long time. And it's short. But I figured I'd give you guys something. Real life, other writing projects and my laptop crapping out all attributed to this delay. So, here it is. Hope you enjoy. My dear sweet beta is having some RL issues, so this is unbeta'd. Excuse any mistakes. Come follow me on Tumblr at Jypzrose, where you'll find an exlusive to tumblr drabble called The Blue Window. It's kind of weird, but I'd like to know what you think. It's Everlark 1. Review, Review, Review. Peace. Lisa