Chapter 14

Daniel called. We've got a go on PX2-788. Hammond saw the light. The fact that it took a shrink to show him should worry me. Probably the one thing that'll guarantee I go back. The old team. One last time. Carter too, although I'm surprised Hammond's going with that one. Only problem is I've got to get past Fraiser first.

I go in early and let her do her worst. She's quiet. Her disapproval fills the silence. Doesn't matter. Probably won't ever see her after today.

She clears me reluctantly. I gear up and go to the gate room. The others are there already. Three pairs of eyes on me. Like I'm a freak in a freak show. Probably a fair assessment.

We take our positions, Carter at my side. And even with everything that's happened, my heart speeds a little. Feeling her close to me … I'm so screwed.

We step through to a familiar view. The gate is on a plateau, high above a rocky valley. We're surrounded by higher peaks and there's snow. The wind is icy and wet.

The three Deejin appear out of smoke.

"Greetings," the big one starts, but I'm out of patience.

"Cut the crap. We've been here and we've done the wishes thing. This time we want answers."

Daniel glares at me, but I don't care. I'm not here to be nice. We got past nice a lot of dreams ago.

I feel them poking into my head, picking up information just like before.

"Just stop that," I warn, and surprisingly, it does.

"We made you forget. How could you have remembered?" He's confused. Good.

"We have techniques that allow us to recover suppressed memories," Daniel explains. "And we really would like to understand what you did to us. The results have been ... less of a gift than you'd think."

"No. You must go. We cannot ..."

"Tell us what you did," I demand. "We're going to make sure no one from our planet comes back here anyway, so what've you got to lose?"

They look at each other and I just know they're talking about us. Next thing, Daniel turns around and starts dialling the gate.

"Daniel, what do you think you're doing?" I yell, but he doesn't hear. I try to stop him, but I can't move. The wormhole engages, and he and Teal'c walk towards it, oblivious to both Carter and me.

"We will explain," the big one tells us. What's his name? Akarb? … something. The other two Deejin have disappeared while we were watching Daniel and Teal'c going.

"Now, wait a minute. What about ..."

"Your friends are immaterial. They had only illusion. They will recover quickly. You were different."

"So, explain."

"We meant no harm."

"Well, it's a bit late for that," I yell, but Carter's hand on my arm stops me dead.

"Let me, please, Sir."

I shrug to tell her to go ahead.

"First, we'd like to know how you did what you did. You can control our bodies – make us go where you want us to, make us black out ... Is it a chemical thing?"

"No, not chemical. We do it with the power of our minds."

Carter's got one of her meter-thingies in her hand, and she's taking measurements as she speaks.

"And is this power something you were born with?"

"Born with? No, we weren't born, we have been forever."

"Forever?"

"Since the beginning."

"You're immortal."

"Yes."

"How many of you are there?"

"We three are the last."

"But if you're immortal, then ..."

"We can wish ourselves out of existence."

"And that's what the others did?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because, … they, as you put it, didn't have much in the way of job satisfaction. They couldn't cope with the isolation."

"Why are you here?"

"We were exiled here long ago. Before, we lived on your world. We brought joy to many people. Our lives were fulfilled. But the beings who reigned as gods in that world hated us. They wanted to harness our abilities, but those abilities are part of what we are. We visited their Jaffa and their slaves and we granted them wishes, and these gods were angered. They tried to destroy us, and when they failed, they brought us here."

"By Stargate?"

"Yes."

"So why have you stayed?"

"Because we cannot leave. They cursed the Stargate. We cannot approach it."

"What do you mean, you can't approach it?"

"There is something, it feels like a solid wall, in front of the gate. We, for whom nothing is solid, are prevented from entering."

Carter is quiet, probably over-thinking it all.

"So, what did you do to us?" I'm calm. Really.

"We read your mind first. Two dreams warred for supremacy. One involved a child – Charlie. The other, the woman with you. We listened to her dreams, and found a mirror image – a dream so close to your own that we were compelled to act."

"Compelled?"

"We grant wishes. We look into someone's mind, and we see all their selfish desires. We give them an illusion, make their dream come true. You were different."

"In what way were we different?" Carter asks.

"We found a symmetry between your two wishes. Two people, even those who care for one another … it is rare. We knew what you wanted, what you dream of when you sleep. We took from your minds the circumstances that would remove the obstacles you believe important. We made you believe those circumstances complete, calmed the parts of your minds that continued to question, and then we allowed you to act. Granting wishes in this way is a rare opportunity. Truly granting the wish of one person often hurts another, and that's something we try to avoid."

"You didn't add anything?" Carter asks.

"Nothing beyond the initial circumstances."

"And you didn't think that was wrong?" I jump in, but Carter glances at me. She knows me too well. She puts a hand to my arm to calm me. It doesn't have the effect she intended and I shake it off.

"We didn't understand at the time. It seemed innocent. We gave you both what you wanted, enjoyed the experience with you, and it was only then that we knew. What happened was too important to you. It was bound to follow you back to your own world. But by then it was too late."

"You think?" I launch myself at him. I want to wipe that smirk off his … I fall straight through, landing painfully on my knees. Carter's there, ready to help me up, but I don't let her. The Deejin has turned around to us again by the time I've pulled myself up.

"We tried to make you forget. We tried to undo it, but …"

"Do you realise what you've done to us?" I ask the question, but I know the answer. That probe as we arrived must have told them everything.

"You have been dreaming. The memory was too strong and could not be subdued. There is a child. And much pain."

"Damn right," I shout. "And it could cost Carter her career!"

"You do not speak of the consequences for yourself," he answers.

"Not important. It's Carter who's pregnant, for crying out loud. She's been violated. How can you put that right?"

"We could make her forget …"

"Keep out of my mind!" Carter interrupts.

"Yeah, that goes for me too."

"There is too much pain. We cannot put it right. You must go."

I feel the compulsion towards the gate begin.

"Wait!" Carter's voice sounds shrill. "You said you can't leave. Can you show me why?"

"There is a barrier at the gate."

Carter takes out some equipment and goes about doing what she does best, waving her … whatever-it-is around and measuring … something.

"Sir, there is a high energy EM field just here." She indicates a position just in front of the gate. "It's operates in a very thin layer – I'm not even sure how it's possible. I didn't notice it on the way through, but then with all the energy from the wormhole ..."

"I understand, Carter.

"Now show me," I demand. I know it's stupid because there's not a lot I can do if he refuses, but I demand anyway. "Show me you can't use the gate."

He approaches it. And it's like he hit a mirror - his rear's still moving towards the mirror and his front coming away from it.

"Carter?" I ask.

"Sir, it's like he's an EM wave, and it's being reflected from the barrier. He can't get through!"

"I'm glad there's a good explanation, Carter. It looked ..." I shudder. She understands.

"Yes, Sir."

"Wanna dial home then?"

I send her through ahead of me, turning to the Deejin before I leave. "We'll lock this planet out of our dialling computer. And we'll probably mention you to our friends. There won't be any more visitors. No more illusions. I think maybe your job satisfaction level just dropped another notch."

It's not what I wanted. I wanted to hurt them. Hit his face until my fist was bloody. Not going to happen, so I settle. Maybe it's enough.

I follow her through. General Hammond is there, along with the other members of the team.

"SG-1, debrief in thirty minutes. Colonel, my office, in ten."

"But General, I resigned."

"Not officially you didn't. So I'll give you a choice. My office or the Brig?"

Once in his office, he tells me to sit, then goes to the other side of his desk. He just sits there for a while. Waiting. Trying to make me speak first.

At last, he gives up. "Jack, you're not stupid. So why are you acting like you are?"

"Wasn't aware I was, Sir."

"You've got a problem. I understand that. But you don't handle problems by running away."

"Some problems. Sometimes."

"Have you spoken to Major Carter?"

"Yeah. A bit."

"I'll take that as a 'no'."

"Is that all?"

"No, Jack. It isn't. I thought you should know that I have processed your resignation. It will be effective two weeks from today. I didn't do it because of your recent tantrum but because I believe it's the only way to prevent Major Carter from having resign."

"As bad as that?"

"Yes. It really is."

"But why? I've pissed people off – I know I have. But she …"

"Is a very clever woman. And some people find that threatening. Her career's not out of the woods yet either."

I give him a slight nod.

"Colonel, I expect you to be here as usual until the date of your retirement. Do you understand? No more leave. No more dramatics."

"Yes, Sir."

"And Jack, you might be getting out of the Air Force, but don't think for one moment that I'm letting you off the hook as regards the SGC. You're a valuable resource, and I'm not willing to just let you go. We'll talk later, when everything's quieted down. There's some paperwork we need to get done, and I'd like to get it started now. Let's get on with it, before your team gets here."