Chapter 14: Denial is not just a river in Egypt
Kaylie blinks slowly, eyes blurrily adjusting to her surroundings. She's still in the waiting room, laying down sideways, completely still, on a compact couch. A very large man clad in a professional suit is stoically sitting on the other side of the room, by the doorway. She remembers his name is Jack, and he's one of her bodyguards. Apparently she has about five of them; she just never noticed. And now that word got out that famed athletes/actors Kaylie and Nicky Russo are in the hospital, accompanied by similarly famed athletes/actors Kelly Parker and Austin Tucker, the media camp out outside the structure is nothing short of ridiculous. Their PR agents have had to clarify, alongside the hospital's media liaison, that no one is dying and nothing serious is going on—Nicky's stay is related to an accident on set a week ago. Still, Kaylie's heard snippets of conversation from the nurses passing by that various magazines and gossip publications are printing stories from "sources" that Nicky has been admitted due to a possible drug overdose. It's more insulting than amusing.
She blinks again, raising an arm to rub the sleep from her eyes, and notices what woke her up: it's dawn already and there's a sun ray blasting her on the face. Her hand drops to her stomach, and she rubs that too—it's becoming a habit to touch her belly, sometimes because she wants to check that she's still pregnant, and sometimes because she just wants to feel the shape, the warmth, and how the baby moves.
"Mrs. Russo?" Jack calls out in a gruff, low voice. "Are you all right, ma'am?"
Kaylie finally gathers enough energy to sit up. "Yes, I'm fine. Where's everyone?"
"In the hotel across the street. Mr. Tucker tried to take you but you refused to leave."
Oh. She doesn't remember that at all.
"What did the doctors say about Nicky?"
"The surgery was successful and now Mr. Russo is resting."
The wave of relief that washes through her is so powerful that Kaylie feels light-headed. She closes her eyes and exhales, and it's like she's been holding this breath for a very long time. Now her body is realizing how exhausted it is; all she wants to do is sleep. On a real bed, under warm covers.
She reaches for her phone and although there are several text messages—from her parents, from her assistant, from Payson, and about twenty other people—she only selects one to read: the one from Ike.
Went home to shower. Everything went great. Nicky needs to rest for a day or two. I'll be back at 8am. GO HOME AND GET SOME REST. I'll call you once I finish the follow-up examination. –Ike
Kaylie walks over to the observation glass and sighs, smiling happily, when she sees Nicky soundly asleep. Her fingers linger on the glass.
"I like you. I like everything about you."
"Jack?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Take me home."
A short shower and small croissant later, Kaylie is brushing her teeth and preparing herself for bed. As she steps out of the enormous bathroom, a small feeling of loneliness tugs in her heart. She surveys the bedroom in front of her: soft lighting, faint flowery scent…
"I can't believe how you decorated this room. It looks like the eighties threw up in here."
"I thought you'd like it! It's all… feminine and… sparkly. Like your room back in Boulder."
"My room in Boulder didn't sparkle."
"Yes. Yes, it did. And it had purple wallpaper. With pink accents. And some glittery stuff on the walls."
"It did not!"
"Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Kaylie."
"Fine. It might have been a bit… girly—"
"Ha. A bit."
"As I was saying, it was a bit girly, but I was twelve when I got that room done. And also, it was my room, I wasn't sharing it with anyone else. So I guess I'm saying that it's okay if you want to… I don't know, put some posters of cars or… sports teams… um… tools, I guess? Or—why are you laughing?"
Another flashback, and another kick to the heart.
Kaylie lays down on the bed, dutifully enveloping herself with the luxurious blankets. It's already 7:00AM. A good night—or morning, actually—of sleep will do her well. Her eyes are trained at the ceiling, almost closing, when she hears her phone vibrate on top of the bedstand.
-Called that big bodyguard of urs—the one who has no neck—and he said ur home already. KP
Kelly is texting her? A content smile curves Kaylie's lips and she snuggles closer to her pillow.
-I am. Just got here. KC
-Go to sleep! KP
-I was trying to, but someone who shall remain nameless started texting me. KC
-That someone sounds like a very attractive, intelligent, and incredibly sexy person. U should b nice to whoever that nameless person is. KP
Kaylie releases a tiny giggle.
-I'll try. How's Austin? KC
-Snoring. Did they give u any updates on Nick b4 u left the hospital? KP
-No, just that he needed to rest. KC
-How r u feeling? KP
-Like crap. KC
-U looked like crap when I last saw u. KP
-Thanks for your warm words of comfort. :) KC
-Whenever u need it. :) KP
Before responding to Kelly's text, Kaylie looks out to her side, and vaguely wonders which side of the bed Nicky usually sleeps on. What do they do on their free time? What names have they considered for their baby?
-I know ur worried. But he'll b ok; he's a fighter. N it wont matter what happens, hes gonna remember u. KP
Once again, Kaylie has to marvel that Kelly Parker, the girl Kaylie had been so sure was one of the horsemen of the apocalypse, is now her friend, a damn good one at that.
-Thanks Kelly. KC
-Ok go 2 sleep. That nameless person will stop texting u now. KP
It's becoming progressively harder to stay awake. Quickly, she feels her exhaustion drag her into unconsciousness.
Nicky.
Nicky.
Nicky.
Nicky…
Kaylie opens her eyes. And sees Nicky smiling down at her. Bright eyes, crooked smile, hair in disarray…
Oh my God.
Holy shit.
She's so profoundly startled that she sits up and slides back until her back hits the bed's headboard. Nicky's smile falters, but then his grin widens and Kaylie still can't remove the shocked look on her face.
"What are you doing here?" she breathes out, clutching her blankets while her heart hammers inside her chest. Something is wrong, right? Why isn't he in the hospital? Why is he smiling when there's a bandage on his temple? Has Ike already examined him? What does he remember? Isn't he in pain? Is he medicated? She turns to look at the clock on the wall—it's only 8:00AM—but when she turns back, he's sliding closer to her on the bed, momentarily distracting her with a smile so disarming and warm that she has to catch her breath and remind herself that this, his looks and the effect he has on her, is not where her thoughts should be.
But she doesn't have time to say anything, ask him any questions, or get a single word in, because he's mumbling "all these years and you still can't get used to me waking you up" and… and then he's really close, his hand touches her face and all of Kaylie's thoughts and doubts and concerns melt inside her. All he had to do was touch her—just a little touch, a tiny caress on her cheek, and it's all gone. When he finally, finally kisses her (it's been so long, and goddamn, she had no idea how much she had been wanting it), that speeding heart of hers slows down, like instead of shouting Nicky's name in every heartbeat, it's just whispering it now, steadily, calmly, firmly.
She's sinking down into the mattress, and pulling Nicky down with her. She has no need for air, or sleep, or food, if Nicky is here and she has his lips and his body, and his love.
"Damn I missed you," he murmurs when he breaks their kiss and immediately places his lips on a sensitive spot on her neck that makes her entire body tingle. Her hands begin to roam his chest and back, and the few neurons in her brain still working make her wonder how in the world he got her so unbearably wound up in less than thirty seconds. The temperature in the room is so, so much higher than it's supposed to be, and she feels feverish with the way his fingers trace her skin, setting fire to every nerve ending. "I can't believe you left me in a hospital just for a little fall."
Her eyes snap open.
"All I have is a scratch on my head…" He kisses her again, and a war erupts inside of her; her mind asking all sorts of questions on why he apparently remembers her and remembers everything, except the part about not remembering anything, against her body, which wants nothing else than to rip all his clothes off. If Nicky doesn't know that he has amnesia, then… obviously, Ike hasn't talked to him. Which means he left the hospital before he was cleared… and that in turn, means she doesn't know what she can tell him.
His weight is not completely on her, as he's partially supporting his weight with his arms on either side of her body, but they're still chest to chest, legs on legs, and it's becoming increasingly hard to start forming coherent thoughts and stop touching him everywhere. Nicky's mouth descends again and Kaylie has to swallow down a moan when she feels his tongue press against the skin of her neck and collarbone.
Oh my God… she needs to stop this… they're going to have sex and he just had brain surgery less than five hours ago.
"Wait," she attempts to say, but it leaves her lips a barely audible murmur that in fact sounds more like a moan.
But it catches Nicky's attention, and he pulls away and looks into her eyes with quiet worry. "Babe, what's wrong?"
She's not quite ready for him to look at her like that; like… like she's incredibly important and he's memorizing her every crinkle and freckle. When he brushes a stray strand of hair away from her face, Kaylie has to fight a blush.
"Nothing, just… um… did they tell you anything at the hospital?" she inquires nervously. It's hard to be completely serious and businesslike about this when he's still on top of her, all glorious muscles and adorable frown, and she still feels like her body is ablaze.
"Well, I did sneak out, so it's not like they had a chance to tell me anything."
Immediately, she bolts up from her lying position. "What!" This is when her hormones settle down at last and she's able to stop thinking about sex, and focus on the situation at hand instead. "You sneaked out?"
"Kaylie, come on, it was just a little fall," he chuckles as he sits up as well and distractedly places a hand on her thigh. Kaylie blinks a few times and takes a deeper breath than necessary—stop thinking about sex!—in order to continue her line of questioning and ignore the hand on her thigh. "Why are you mad? You took your shots this week, right?" He reaches out and rests his hand briefly on her belly, sending an oddly pleasurable sensation through her body. "Wait… how long was I out?"
Crap. What should she tell him? He thinks he bumped his head yesterday, when in fact, their head injury happened over a month ago.
"Not… long." She almost winces when the words leave her. Wow, way to be articulate there, Kaylie. "That doesn't matter. You hurt yourself, Nicky. I have to take you back to the hospital right now."
"No, hold on, he protests, and grabs her hand to keep her still. Kaylie swallows hard because she's sure that if he starts to smile at her again, and if he kisses her and touches her, she won't be able to put up much resistance this time. "I made you something."
How long ago, exactly, did he break out of the hospital? "What kind of something?"
"Stay here for a minute," he grins, then leans forward and gives her a quick kiss that against all reason, sets her heart galloping again. Mentally, she berates herself. Yes, sex with him is awesome, and yes, she misses him and she's hormonal and he's hot, but she should be able to control her lust, dammit.
Nicky steps off the bed and dashes to the door, smiling at her before exiting the room. A minute later he's stepping back in, carrying an enormous tray of food that he settles at the foot of the bed, beaming at her with pride and satisfaction, unaware of the powdered sugar smudged across his cheek.
Pancakes. He made her pancakes. There are fruits, sure, and milk, juice, and cookies, but what he made her were the pancakes, judging by their hilarious misshapes.
"What do you think?"
She finds it hard not to laugh at his eagerness and the way he makes it obvious, with no embarrassment at all, how much he wants her to like his gesture.
"I think you don't know how to make round pancakes."
She yelps when he jumps beside her on the bed and pins her down, attempting to look mad even though he's laughing.
"I think you're ungrateful," he whispers in her ear, his breath leaving goosebumps in her skin.
"And I think one of them looks like Africa," she whispers back, gently wiping the sugar off his cheek and then, not quite registering what she's doing, leaning up and pressing her lips against his. Whereas all their past kisses have been desperate, awkward, or a step on the way to sex, this one is different… it's a kiss of relief. This Nicky is her husband—he chose her. She doesn't have to worry that he's stuck with her and a child because of circumstance. And experiencing what he's like as her husband, unafraid to be vulnerable, she wonders whether it's always like this. Easy banter, a heavy attraction that she can't fight, and this feeling of appropriateness, of belonging, of being at the right place at the right time. All the insecurities she has, that he prefers Payson, that he's not over Kelly, that he never wanted to be a father, are all paling and fading. If this is what it's like, and she can just love him without constantly second-guessing herself, then she doesn't want to go back to 2010. "Nicky, you're staring."
"I love you so much," Nicky states brightly, causing a small tremor in her chest. "Even though you hate the perfectly round pancakes your perfect husband made you."
Perfect husband.
Husband.
She can't remember him as her husband. Not the wedding, not the first night, not the first year. She remembers the before, and the nowadays. There's a four-year gap in her memory that he doesn't know about; blank pages in the middle of a book.
Her phone begins to ring and she rises from the bed just enough to take a peek at the screen and see Ike's name flashing and blinking. It's past 8:00AM; the hospital staff has looked for Nicky everywhere but can't find him.
"Hey, it's Ike. Want me to answer it?"
"Nicky…" She forces herself to be brave. "Look at me for a little bit?" She's had to lie, omit, and pretend this whole time and there hasn't been a moment when she was completely honest with him. "Nicky… there are some things you need to know. About yourself, and about me. The fact is… I don't really remember you."
A/N: This is a shorter chapter than usual, but it was basically a fluff pie with a fluff topping and a side of fluff, so I hope that makes up for the length. Once again, thanks for all the reviews. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or suggestions. The story is almost over so aren't you glad you stuck around? :)