A/N: I felt bad about the little cliffie, so here's an update for ya. :) Hope everyone had a great weekend.

"Hey. Wake up."

Edward startled awake, struggling to orient himself. It took him a few seconds to remember why he was sleeping upright and why Tanya was shaking him gently. He looked to the right, finding his twin, looking as sleep deprived as he felt, also looking confused but concerned.

Remembering, Edward sat up straight. Right. He was sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital waiting room because he refused to leave when visiting hours were over. Just because Bella didn't want to see him didn't mean he was going to leave her. "What's happening?" he asked, his voice raspy with sleep and anxiety. "How's Bella?"

Tanya sat on his left side. "She's better. She seems to be thinking clearer now that she's had a little bit of sleep." She offered him a small smile. "She said she'd see you."

Edward didn't miss Tanya's choice of words. Not that she wanted to see him, but that she would. Regardless, he was relieved. He knew it was going to kill him to see her battered, but he also needed to see with his own eyes that she was whole.

Alice squeezed his hand. "Go on. And tell her we love her too."

Needing no further prompting, Edward followed Tanya down the hall.

"Look, I know I don't have to tell you this, but I'm going to anyway," Tanya said as they walked. "Just be patient with her and gentle. She's not herself right now."

His throat too tight to speak, Edward nodded. He wondered if Tanya intended to follow him into the room. Was Bella scared to be alone with him? The thought made him want to vomit. But Tanya stopped outside the door. She touched his shoulder briefly before she walked back down the hallway toward the waiting room.

Edward took a deep breath and entered.

He had no idea what he expected. The end was anti-climactic. Bella was sitting up, looking out the window at the breaking dawn. When she didn't turn to look at him, Edward called her name quietly.

She turned to him, and Edward's stomach churned.

Seeing as he'd had ample time to get himself worked up, he'd imagined a much more gruesome scene than what greeted him. Not that it was much comfort. The bruises on her neck alone made Edward want to punch something-someone in particular. Not for the first time, he cursed the fact he knew James was close. He wanted that man as far away from Bella as humanly possible and preferably missing his cock. Beyond that, Edward could see other bruises-finger marks on her arms from where James had restrained her. Her leg was wrapped-sprained during the struggle. He knew there had to be worse bruises beneath her paper-thin hospital gown, but that was the limit of what he could see.

What had him scared and sickened was the look in her eyes. There was something unsettling about the way she looked at him-a look devoid of tenderness, affection, and love. It was a look of terrible calm, an eerie quiet that masked whatever else she had to be feeling, thinking.

Swallowing down a lump of bile, Edward sat in the chair by her bedside. He took her hand, moving with exaggerated slowness. Bella didn't pull away. That offered him some relief, but the way she watched his hand, impassively, as if she were watching a line of ants troop by, disturbed him. "Hey, angel," he said, kissing the back of her hand with a light brush of his lips.

She looked at him for five long seconds before she spoke. "I'm sorry I couldn't see you before." She took her hand from his. Edward couldn't tell if she didn't want him touching her or if she simply needed her hands as she began to wring them. "Tanya said you didn't leave."

"Of course I didn't. I won't." He reached up, intending to brush a strand of hair away from her face, but dropped his hand quickly back to his lap when she flinched. "I wouldn't leave you, Bella."

She studied him as though she were looking for answers on his face. The problem was, he didn't know the questions. He couldn't guess what was going on in her head.

"I know what you're thinking," she said, the words coming out in a jumble.

Edward was careful to keep his face blank. He leaned forward in the chair, engaged but not touching her or crowding her personal space. "What am I thinking?"

She focused on some point in front of her, not looking at him. "You're wondering if he found out. If that's why he did this."

"We don't have to talk about this, Bella. Doesn't your throat hurt?"

"But that's what you're thinking, isn't it?" Something sparked in her eyes. Tanya had told him that she hadn't cried. She'd been paranoid, angry, and out-of-it in turns, but she hadn't cried. It was anger that lit her eyes then. "You have to be wondering."

"Bella-"

"It's only natural. That's what you were scared about, right? You told me. It's just reality. Because I make myself one of the nameless bitches you're imagining degrading when you jack off. You're wondering if you were right to worry."

Edward winced. He took a deep breath and chose his words as carefully as he could. "It doesn't matter."

"It's what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking a lot of things. Yes, of course I'm wondering, but it doesn't matter. You know it doesn't matter. There's nothing you did to deserve this, regardless-"

"You're wrong anyway," she said. The sharp rise and fall of her chest told him what the even tone of her words didn't-she was upset. Controlled, but upset. "He doesn't know about the website. I'm sure he doesn't." Her tone turned bitter. "He would have said."

"Whatever he said to you, it was bullshit. Nothing you did-"

"He said he did it for you."

Every cell in Edward's body turned to ice. He replayed Bella's words over in his head once, twice, three times before he decided he had to have heard wrong. "What?" he asked, the word cold and ragged.

Bella was still staring forward. She'd picked up the edge of her blankets and was twisting it between her fingers roughly. "When he started to…" She shuddered, swallowed hard. "When he started to touch me, and he wouldn't stop, I reminded him that you existed. You know, because it's not enough that I told him to cut it out. I thought maybe he'd respect the prior claim of another man."

"Bella," Edward said, but she wasn't nearly done.

"So he said since my boyfriend obviously wasn't man enough to make me forget about women, he was going to do you a favor."

"Bella." Edward's voice was raw with rage and horror. "You can't have thought I'd want this. You can't have thought I'd even think about it. It never would have crossed my mind at all."

She squeezed her hands into fists so tight that her knuckles went white. "I know that," she said, her voice a whisper. She raised a hand to rub at her neck. Her voice was taking on a scratchy quality. Edward couldn't imagine it felt good to talk right then. "Do you know how stupid I am right now? I was scared of you, and I was really angry you weren't in here and both of those things are just so stupid."

"Don't do that." He reached for her again and was glad when she let him take her hand again. "Whatever you're feeling isn't stupid."

"No." She breathed in through her nose, her voice timorous and smaller than Edward had ever heard. She was staring down, refusing to meet his eyes. "But I am stupid."

"You're not."

"I am. Oh god, you have no idea how stupid I am." She was clutching at his hand spasmodically now. "How many times have I told people, r-rapists aren't strangers in a dark alley? But you know, I've always been ready for that. Because of what I do, I've always been ready. I know self-defense. I carry a knife when I'm out." Her breath was coming in sharp, quick spikes as she continued to babble. "But when he… When he… I didn't understand. I was so confused, I froze. It's not a surprise. It shouldn't have been a surprise. I just…"

Finally, she looked up at him, and the expression written all over her face shattered him. Her eyes were wide and glassy with tears. "'Reblogging a fucking tumblr post and living it are two different things,'" she said, and it took him a minute to realize she was quoting him. "It wasn't supposed to happen to me."

Edward couldn't hold himself back anymore. He couldn't do anything he really wanted. What he wanted was to turn back time or at the very least promise he would tear James's arms from his body. He wanted to erase the enormity of this hurt from her skin and her psyche. Since he was powerless to do any of that, he perched on the edge of her hospital bed and gathered her carefully into his arms. He couldn't hold her as tightly as he wanted; he knew most of her injuries were out of sight. Still, he could rock her and whisper in her ear that she was safe and he loved her.

He held her tucked against his chest as she finally let go and cried.

~0~

It took Edward a few days to sort out exactly what had happened.

That day at the restaurant, Bella and Tanya had been giggling together about how cute the college girls were. James, stewing for days about the fact he hadn't been chosen for the manager position despite the fact he'd been there longer than Mary and worked just as hard, had overheard them. He stayed working late-the restaurant closed at three. Having run into roommate trouble a few weeks previous, James had been couch hopping amongst his friends. The place he was at then was a ways from campus and the restaurant.

Bella offered James a ride home. She stopped at her place, since it was on the way, to get a few things so she could head directly to Los Angeles and Edward after she dropped James off. She offered him something to drink, because she considered it a polite thing to do, and he had taken it as her coming on to him. That was the only excuse he'd needed. When she rebuffed him, he turned violent.

Pinned beneath him while he ripped her clothes and pawed at her, their struggle had stopped when Bella got her hands around a heavy bookend. She'd bashed James over the head with it. He spent a few days in an induced coma while the swelling around his brain went down. As far as Edward was concerned, it was the least of what he deserved.

A few days after James woke up and told his side of the story, Edward sat next to Bella across from D.A. They'd both known, though neither were saying, that they weren't going to like what the man had to say.

"I'm going to get straight the point. We're not going to pursue sexual assault and battery charges."

Though Edward had half been expecting something like that, his fury kicked in full throttle at the actual words. He jumped to his feet. "Why the hell not? Her clothes are in shreds. There are bruises on her thighs. It's an open and shut case."

"Edward," Bella said. The word sounded as she often had the last few days-quiet and defeated.

It took a herculean effort, but Edward sat down again. Needing to do something, he took Bella's hand in both of his and squeezed it.

The D.A., who had remained impassive during Edward's tantrum, spoke again. "I have years of experience in this, son. You have to see the facts as a jury would see them." He looked to Bella, his tone impassive as he began to list factors. "According to Mr. Hunter, you and your friends are very open about your sexual preferences, proclivities, and deviance. And I can guarantee you, in a randomly selected jury, many will see bisexuality as a kink rather than a sexual orientation."

Bella, who still hadn't looked up, tightened her hold on Edward's hand.

"You passed Mr. Hunter up for a promotion in favor of a pretty young woman despite the fact James was the more senior and had, at your own admission, put in a lot of work."

"So did Mary," Bella said.

"I'm simply laying out what a jury will see. You like women. A pretty young woman got the position Mr. Hunter wanted and worked for," the D.A. said. "This is a fact. You then took him to your house rather than take him home as he wanted-this is the part of the statement he made."

"Jesus Christ," Edward muttered under his breath.

"According to Mr. Hunter's statement, at that point you made advances."

That finally drew a reaction from Bella. "I what? I didn't…"

"You offered him a drink, and sat down next to him on the couch."

"I offered him a soda, and I sat down for five seconds to gather some notebooks and things that were on my coffee table."

The D.A. raised his hands in a placating motion. "I'm telling you what a jury may see given all the other factors involved. Any defense will paint you, Ms. Swan, as sexually free, despite the fact you have a boyfriend. In fact, that you are so open about your sexuality and sex in general will seem all the worse because you have a boyfriend. Now, I'm very glad you were upfront with me about your website. You're correct-it would appear that Mr. Hunter has no idea the site exists at this time. However, if we push for a trial, I can guarantee the existence of your website will become known, and if the jury needed any other excuse to let Mr. Hunter off scot free, that's more than enough. See Mr. Hunter as a jury would. He's twenty years old, a full-time student who works very hard at his education and with you at your place of business. He has no priors where you have an arrest on file, Ms. Swan."

"For a peaceful protest when I was twenty."

"For a cause that won't win you points with the jury. Many still equate feminism with man-hating, and they assume bisexuals can't be faithful."

By then Bella was clutching Edward's hand to the point of pain. Edward didn't care. It helped keep him grounded when all he really wanted to do was throttle the man in front of him before he went after James. "So what? He gets off without a fight?"

"No." The D.A. leaned forward and folded his hands on top of the table. "There's no getting around the fact he hurt you very badly, Ms. Swan. That's undeniable. What we're going to do is offer to take the more severe counts of sexual assault and battery off the table if he'll plead guilty to simple assault and battery, which he would be convicted of regardless."

"That's a misdemeanor," Edward said. The whole conversation left a foul taste in his mouth.

The D.A. gave them both a sympathetic expression. "We're going to request the maximum sentence which is a few months jail time. It's more justice than a lot of people get in these situations."

Neither Edward nor Bella spoke at that. They both knew the D.A. was right. Many women in Bella's position or worse, who gave the jury much less ammunition, would never see any kind of justice served.

Beside him, Bella swallowed hard. "I guess it's lucky for me that he beat the shit out of me when he tried to rape me," she said, her tone flat.

~0~

Since she'd gotten out of the hospital, Bella had been staying with Edward in LA. The restaurant had opened again after a few days closure, but Bella hadn't been back yet.

She was different. It wasn't just that she was quieter and more subdued. There was something different about the way she carried herself. The Bella Edward knew took the world on with a ferocity of spirit. This new Bella struggled to figure out who she wanted to be in this world.

Her leg healed, her bruises faded. Outwardly, she didn't look like anyone's victim.

Edward could only be thankful Bella didn't push him away. He wondered often if he was doing the right things, saying the right things. Sometimes all he could do was hold her while she sat in silence, her thoughts too tangled to put into words yet. But she let him hold her and rock her. When he kissed her, the action always soft and not leading, she kissed him back.

He waited, and little by little, she opened up.

He came home one evening to find her on the couch, staring off into space with her computer off to the side. Edward said nothing but he sat beside her. When he was sure he was reading her body language right, he pulled her backward into his arms, so she was cradled against his chest. Her tense posture relaxed, and she sighed, melting back against him. She found his hands and twined their fingers together.

"Tanya called," she said after a few minutes. "Do you remember Victoria?"

"Victoria. She was in the first wave you hired. She couldn't stick around after all the delays."

Bella nodded. "Except she told Tanya today the real reason she didn't stick around was because of James."

Edward pressed his tongue hard against the roof of his mouth so Bella wouldn't feel his body go rigid. "What did he do?"

"They went on two dates, and then she got too creeped out to see him again. She tried to let him down gently, but he wouldn't leave her alone. When she made herself perfectly clear, he started to harass her."

"Fucking prick."

Her breath was unsteady, and it took her a few seconds to gather her thoughts. "I thought he was like any other idiotic, twenty-year-old kid. I knew he didn't know how to take a hint. I knew he thought every woman who even smiled at him was flirting with him. I should have known. I should have seen, and I should have protected Victoria. I should have protected all of them. I would have. I should have known."

"Hey. Hey, shh." He wrapped his arms tighter around her, pressing his lips to her cheek. "You couldn't have known."

He told himself the same thing on a daily basis-that he couldn't have known James would go this far. Someday, he might even believe it.

Bella turned her head, burying her face against his neck as she tried to steady her breathing. "It's like...I have these two different voices in my head. There's the person I want to be, who knows all the statistics, all the things we turn a blind eye to. We're conditioned to hate our bodies, women especially. We're conditioned to be ashamed. I worked my ass off to un-condition myself from those poisonous things." She took a shuddering breath. "Now there's this voice in my head who keeps on wondering-what if they're right? What if it was my fault? What if I shouldn't have been so unashamed of my body? What if it's intrinsically wrong to be vocal about the fact I enjoy sex?"

"Bella that's-"

"It's ridiculous. I know it. I hear what it sounds like out loud, but it's what I feel." She reached forward, grabbing her laptop and lifting it so he could see. "Anyway. I guess you get your wish."

Edward exhaled in a gust as he saw what she was on the screen. "Oh, Bella. I didn't want this. Not like this."

She said nothing-just kept her head turned toward him, her breath hot on his neck.

On the front page of Bella's website was a message to her subscribers explaining that the site would be shut down, all dues from the last month returned.

"It's okay," she said. "It's not a part of me. It was a way to make money. I just always thought it would end like it began: on my own terms. I hate that he got this. Teaching myself to love my body was an accomplishment I was proud of, and now…" Her voice shook. "I can't stand looking in the mirror right now."

"That will get better," Edward said, believing he was right. Bella would get her confidence back. Maybe it would be different, but this conversation alone proved that she was fighting for it.

She turned in his arms, snuggling up against him. "I know."

A/N: Many thanks to Barburella, myonlyheroin, and the fabulous Capricorn75.

Probably one chapter left, I should think. :)