Crave

by taoist elf

Moving to Forks for her senior year, Bella finds a very different Jacob than her sunny, extroverted best friend of the past 17 summers. Taking the concepts of Twilight and spinning them with a dark realism and emotional depth, this is the tale of the havoc that Phasing wreaks on the Rez's young Pack, where youth evaporates in the fires of duty and even love is cursed.

14. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Sorry, this chapter is a ridiculously long - kinda more like a short story in itself. To those of you wanting more Jacob/Bella time, I now present to you 20k of nothing but (and probably way more than you ever wanted, lol). I simply took dictation from the muse for this chapter with no attempt at pith or discipline.

Thanks to Tayjayfan for her emotional support. And thanks to Sarah Mclaughlan for the title and opening lyrics.

As always, thanks for reading and hope you enjoy.

'

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Chapter 14 - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

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All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.

It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.

Companion to our demons
They will dance and we will play.
With chairs candles and clothes
Making darkness in the day.
It will be easy to look in or out
Upstream or down
Without a thought

Peace in the struggle to find peace.
Comfort on the way to comfort

And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.

'

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'

Sheltered.

Snug.

Warm.

Freaking bright.

With a petulant groan, Bella squeezed her her eyes tighter against that prickling light and curled more onto her side and into that comforting heat.

"Mmm," she hummed as she pressed her face more into a wall of warm cotton. Strong, musky-sweet, safe, she could stay here forever.

The heaviness resting on her side moved, smoothing over her shoulder on its way to brush the hair from her cheek.

A calloused caring hand.

Bella's eyes popped open, blinking blearily at the undeniable nipple pressing against a shirt in a sultry stare. With a soft intake of breath, she pulled back, searching for it's owner.

Jacob.

He was lying on his side beside her with his head propped on his hand, watching her with hematite eyes.

Her lips fumbled with a novocaine smile. "Hey," she sighed, diving back into that solacing chest and pressing her face against his sternum. His heartbeat, low and steady, thrummed against her nose.

"Mwat time izit?" she mumbled into his shirt.

"It's only eight," Jacob murmured as that big hand rubbed slowly over her shoulder. "Go back to sleep."

Even drowsy, Bella could hear the heaviness that dragged that bass down.

Pulling back with the whispering rustle of sheets, Bella squinted at him through the harsh light of an unusually sunny morning.

He stared back at her with unfathomable eyes. Something wasn't right - he looked exhausted... and sad.

Her brow furrowed in confusion as her hand slithered up from under the heavy covers to rub over her face, trying to push some sentience into her muddled brain. Her eyes darted back to him as he continued to watch her from behind a worn wooden mask.

"Hey," she whispered, her hand shimmying up between them in the tight space to rest over his heart. "What's wrong?"

Jacob was lying pointedly on top of the sheets- as much a barrier between them as that hard, stoic mask. He wordlessly shook his head.

With a soft huff, Bella squeezed bleary eyes closed as she rolled away from him and onto her back. The shooting pain from tender bruises, made her suck a breath through her teeth.

Oh yeah... that.

Memories flooded her mind like shadowy nightmares and the blessing that she was actually waking up at all stung poignantly behind her eyes. Finally, the anomaly of waking up to him in any context hit her. With a gasp, her gaze cut back to the man lying beside her; those deep set eyes were now closed dolefully and his lips pressed into a thin line.

Bella arched her body as she gingerly resituated herself and pulled the covers up tighter around her neck.

"Jake?" Bella whispered, it was nothing short of a plea for the return of those eyes.

Jacob rolled his lips once and then let them pop free back into their sensual fullness as his eyes blinked dutifully open like the lids weighed a million pounds. "How're you feeling?" he whispered.

"I'm fine," she mumbled absently.

She took worried stock as she licked her lips, desperately trying rouse herself to the situation. Now she could see it clearly: an aching fatigue was etched into his face... and self-loathing. "Did you get any sleep?" she ventured softly.

"Bella, don't," he groaned, squeezing his eyes closed again. That heavy hand at her waist immediately fled to his own side, palpably pulling away.

"Don't what?" she challenged quietly as she hauled herself stiffly back onto her side.

"It's not about me," he rasped, his gaze returning wearily to her own.

Bella propped her own cheek on her hand, mirroring his position, as her attention flitted over the suffering that darkened under his eyes and made the stubbled shadow over his jaw look haggard.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I thought this was about us... and I slept better than I have all week," she sniffed - surprised to find it was 110% true. "But you look exhausted," she murmured sadly. Her hand slipped from under the sheets, reaching up to tenderly stroke his cheek.

But in his most unguarded reaction this morning, as the sheets fell away Jacob's eyes snapped down to her arm as his breath hissed over his lips. Bella froze, her own gaze automatically following his stare. Bruises always looked worse the next day on her pale skin, but that was a gross understatement today (with gross being the operative word). The crisp bruised handprints of last night had spread into dark ugly shadows over her entire upper arm.

Grimacing, Bella tried to pull the covers back over them. "It looks worse than it is," she mumbled.

But gentle fingers stilled her own, brushing them away along with the sheets. As soon as he touched her skin, she felt a tremor awaken in his hand. Like shockwaves, the quake rolled up his arm, burrowing into his body and making the muscles quiver in his chest.

Following the path of destruction, Bella's looked up to where Jacob's eyes were locked singularly on her arm. He bit his lip as he watched his own hand brush over the bruise so lightly it felt like a sigh. His face was that same unnerving and impassive mask, but as she watched, that obsidian gaze began to hemorrhage. Like a deep-drill well, sorrow bubbled up and pooled in liquid lament. The vulnerability of tears was shocking in context of that strength.

"Jake," Bella worried, as she propped herself up more on her elbow and reached out to the anguish harshening the lines of his face.

He didn't even look at her; Jacob shook his head slowly back and forth. "I'm so sorry," he whispered as those silent tears tried to flee, a single droplet condensing on straight ebony lashes.

Bella's fingers reached up to catch it.

With those preternatural reflexes, he was suddenly turning away, somehow extricating himself so seamlessly it was like he'd evaporated. His legs swung over the side of the bed as he braced his elbows on his thighs and hung his head.

"Honey," Bella soothed, sitting up more as her worried gaze washed over that broad back now turned pointedly on her.

An incriminatingly juicy snuffle heralded his hand brusquely slapping over his face and it simply shattered her heart. To see the tough, impervious man he'd become crumble right in front of her was heartbreaking … and frightening. He'd been under immense pressure over this last year and last night had simply been the last straw to break that strong back.

"Hey," she murmured reaching her hand out to his bulky shoulder.

He lurched from under her touch, as he jerked his face away, yanking a harsh sniffle along with him.

Bella's hand snapped back like she'd been burned. It felt like she had. She knew his emotions were churning inside him so fiercely that he simply didn't know what to do with it all, but the rejection still hurt. Physically.

She brought both hands up to rub her temples, pressing her pinkies over her eyes for a moment. Bella had no idea where to start to fix this.

Letting her hands fall heavily into her lap, she drew in a resetting breath as her gaze absently panned her room. Outside, an insultingly bright morning was gearing up and spilling through her window and over the chaos of a week's despair. Forks' usual clouds had moved indoors.

With a final glance at the man hunched over his suffering on the edge of her bed, Bella patted her thighs and pulled herself off the other side, throwing the sheets out of the way.

Her bare feet were just touching the floorboards when suddenly there was a 6'7" man beside her wearing a stricken expression while he reached hand down to cup her elbow and help her up. Or hold her fast- she couldn't be sure.

"Where're you going?" he rasped.

Bella smiled sadly up at him as she stood, her other hand covering his tenderly on her forearm. "I gotta pee," she squinted up at him.

Jacob blinked once, like it took a moment for the words to filter through that uncharacteristic panic to understanding.

Squeezing his hand reassuringly, she extricated herself from his grip and tromped toward the bathroom directly across the hall. Her bedroom door had been left open - at her father's insistence, no doubt. Truthfully she was surprised he'd let Jake stay the night in her bedroom at all, although thinking back on the broken desperation in his eyes last night she doubted her father had had much of a choice.

She turned to close the bathroom door behind her and her breath snapped with surprise into her lungs at the broad chest inches away ...and not-so-coincidentally blocking the door. Courtesy of that preternaturally silent step, he was right behind her.

She shouldn't be surprised.

Bella's eyes trailed up over the that quivering chest to eyes now glittering with sparks of yellow and overstated anxiety. Bella pulled a corner of her lip into her mouth; he wasn't fully in control of himself, but she knew enough about that lupine protective streak by now to understand. Last night had frayed his nerves raw and ragged - the thought of her being out of his sight distressed his wolf.

"Hey, I'm just gonna be a minute," she soothed while her hand grasped the doorknob and hoped he didn't make her leave it open.

Jacob's Adam's apple bobbed once as those iridescent eyes darted between hers. She could see that silent war of wills.

Without a word, he took a step back.

She offered him an encouraging smile and then slowly closed the door. Bella blew a breath out from her cheeks as she leaned her forehead against the cool wood. It was strange; truthfully it kind of stressed her out too to have a door between them. And maybe it was her imagination, but she could feel the precise space where his bulky frame loomed right behind the wooden membrane between them.

Picking her head up off the door, she blinked and cracked it back open curiously. Yep, she was right: he was standing just outside the bathroom with distress slathered over his face. His head tipped minutely to peer at her through the small space.

Tender exasperation escaped in a sigh as Bella opened the door a little more. "C'mon, Jake," she groaned with a little smile - she'd try her old standby: humor. "I know you can probably hear me pee from down the block, but can't you just pretend you're not listening?"

A little human sentience blinked into those struggling eyes.

Bella raised an encouraging brow. "I'll be quick. Promise."

His hand came up to slap over his face, rubbing briskly. "Sorry," he mumbled into his palm.

"S'alright," Bella murmured, her face falling back into furrowed concern. It broke her heart to see him teetering so obviously on the crumbling edge. And worried her to death.

With a sigh, his hand fell from his face and he met her gaze with eyes that had thankfully darkened back to ebony. He took a step back that looked like he was pushing into tornado-force winds.

Then another.

And another.

Eyes locked with hers, Jacob backed into her bedroom and sat stiffly down on the edge of the mattress at rigid attention.

Bella nodded to really nothing in particular and closed the door quietly on that suffering. Her own surged up along with the hum of the fan as she flicked the light on.

It should seem smothering - or at least weird - to have to negotiate a free moment to herself for bodily functions, but it... wasn't. In the solitude of the bathroom, a dark anxious dread was prickling in her chest. She could also feel the bond stretched between them like a bungee cord to its breaking point. Jacob was already there.

To his breaking point.

It had only been week since he'd imprinted, but obviously that was already too long; with the trauma of the last few days, Jacob was unequivocally losing it.

The problem was, so was she.

Heaving a heavy sigh through her nose, Bella yanked on the sink faucet. With a grimace at her disheveled self in the mirror, she cupped water in her hands and splashed it over her face. The cold was sobering. As was the road before her.

So much was broken.

And that included herself. As water dribbled into the basin from her face, Bella squinted back at her reflection. Jacob's palpable torment had compulsively distracted her, but alone in her sterile bathroom, she could feel the little painful fissures caused by yesterday's blunt force trauma that made her now feel decidedly insecure and frightened. Without warning, the reality of what Jacob had tried to tell her about enemies and imprints had reared its ugly head.

And in one evening, Bella had learned that valor and bravery were concepts that were much more appealing in the abstract.

This wasn't some childish fairy tale, this was real life in all it's cruel and violent glory. Bella stood on her tiptoes as she pushed up her sleeve with wet hand. That truth had been branded into her skin. A shudder shimmied up her spine, as she closed her eyes on the memory of those cold hands and hard body pushing her up against the alley wall. In the light of day, it didn't even seem real - but the hiccup in her heartbeat at the just the mere passing memory told her that it was.

Bella swallowed thickly as she leaned against the sink and hung her head. In life there were always those single moments - forks in the road that would drastically change one's destination. She'd had several of those in her short time on the earth (most of them actually occurring in the last week): choices between bitterness and faith, trust and hopelessness, fear and love.

Weakness and strength.

Truthfully in their lifelong friendship, Bella had always thought Jacob was the stronger one. Whether that was true or just immature self-deprecation, she couldn't afford to hide behind that excuse now. Because right now, Jacob was broken and unbalanced and Bella was going to have to choose to be the strong one. Or both of them could irreparably fall.

It scared her to death.

But here is where the rubber met the road; if she was really going to do this thing with him, she had to accept all the crazy with the crazy-wonderful. She had to step up and into her own power - like Emily had done with Sam - and not just stand by like some damsel in distress waiting for her knight to swoop her up when the road got rough.

The flash of insight hit her in the gut like a punch and she gripped the formica under her hands as she slowly lifted her face up to the mirror. She stared into those wide haunted eyes as her mind spun on, dragging her with it along a path that was somehow burned into the fabric of her being: she had a duty too. An important one. To Jacob and a whole tribe and Pack of people whose lives depended on him.

Suddenly Bella truly understood just what it meant to be an Alpha's mate.

She was the only one who could bring him back and urge him on when all the insane pressure and competing priorities just got too much to handle for even those broad, stalwart shoulders. And sometimes that meant she'd need to face the innately tenuous and imperfect control that was all part and parcel of nearly omnipotent power.

And be just as strong... in her own way.

She didn't know if she could do it.

Jacob couldn't.

He just... couldn't.

For the first time since his muscles had ripped over his cracking bones and he'd been thrown into the firestorm of his duty as leader, Jacob was doubting himself. He'd stridently forbidden such a luxury over the last year. But after yesterday, it had grown up inside him like a cancer, adding rot to the torment that ate at his very soul.

He'd failed her.

He'd failed them all.

And Jacob didn't know if he had the strength anymore to pick himself up and get back into the saddle. All night while he'd myopically followed every last breath and heartbeat of his imprint beside him, he'd had a front-row seat to his Pack's demise.

Without their leader it was pure chaos. Turmoil. Bedlam stirred by the terror of both bearing witness to Jacob's loss of control and subsequent abandonment. Jared was trying to hold them together but he wasn't a born leader - like the quarterback he'd been, he was better at executing a coach's play. That veneer was peeling back and Paul's natural respect for his human success was waning fast leaving him snapping at every opportunity - torn between vying for control and resenting his lack of containment. Leah and Seth had finally been coaxed back to human bodies but were reeling from not only the loss of their humanity and life as they'd known it, but the loss of their father too. The siblings' unbalance ate at Sam and Emily's fledgling peace like acid and pushed Sam just a little closer toward the abyss he'd clawed his way out of. And the rest of them just withdrew into whatever personality defects got them by in the worst of times: Embry withdrew into depression, Quil abdicated any IQ whatsoever and the two cubs just sat in the corner with wide traumatized eyes.

The routine of patrols were the only thing that kept them going. But whenever any of them were phased, their minds were churning - with confusion, instability and covert pleas.

For Jacob.

He was the glue that held them all together... but how could he do that when he himself was falling apart?

While his Pack's suffering definitively broke the part of him that was Alpha and pounded failure through his heart like a nail, shamefully it was at the moment only the toxic icing on this poison cake.

He was focused on only one thing only at the moment.

As he myopically counted Bella's heartbeats and manically cataloged each sound whispering from behind that bathroom door, Jacob struggled with the burning mandate simply bash it down.

He needed her. Just her - to cage her in his arms, infuse her skin with his scent and never let her go.

That mandate was burning him alive and taking every last ounce of strength and control to resist. And he could feel his tenuous hold slipping like gravel beneath him.

He just couldn't bear to see the marks on her skin. His wolf was spiraling in an increasingly frenetic tailspin, it's thoughts and instinct whittled down to the feral quick:

Kill.

Protect.

Fuck.

Baring his teeth in self-disgust, Jacob raked his nails up his thigh, pushing the long shorts up ahead of them and watching the red gouges heal before his eyes.

He did it again. And again.

He was so totally fucked up right now, it was kind of comforting to have to have the outside match. The Alpha in him was railing with violent shame, trying to beat the world into submission, the wolf was hamstrung by dark lascivious instinct and the man was so broken and weary that he was slipping under the black bubbling tar of depression. Some fucking leader he was.

So this is how "great men" fell.

Hard.

Jacob stilled his clawing hands on his thighs and hung his head.

Bella flicked off the light switch and stood in the dark silent bathroom for several moments. Drawing in a fortifying breath, she fisted the towel in her hand like a security blanket and opened the door.

Jacob's head jerked up from where he was hunched on the edge of her bed, bloodshot eyes locking on her like she was a magnet .

His face was that same stoic mask - that truthfully frightened her - but those eyes. They were midnight windows down to a soul that burned.

Bella's resolve stuttered with her heart in her chest and her arms wrapped uncertainly around her middle, pressing comforting terrycloth against her stomach.

But she had to be better than this. For him.

Lifting her chin, she resisted the impulse to pull at her lip with nervous teeth and took a step toward him, forcing her hands back to careless as she blithely lifted the towel to dry the dripping ends of her long loose hair.

But it was only a ruse.

Every sense felt heightened like she'd drank a ton of caffeine on an empty stomach after a sleepless night. Each shape and line looked crisp and jumped with each step across the chasm between them on feet that really wanted to falter. But - as hyper-aware as she was - she also immediately noticed the palpable emptiness of the house. Her father was always up by six but the radio wasn't mumbling from the kitchen. It was as good a place to begin as any.

She let the towel fall to her side and licked her lips nervously. "Where's Charlie?" she whispered.

Those piercing eyes blinked soundly like a thunderclap. "Rez," he rasped, sounding like pushing that single English word past his lips was monumental. "Billy's takin' the Council."

Bella's eyebrows shot up as her feet finally stumbled to a halt.

Gathering herself in a single heartbeat, she simply nodded once though her mind spun on ahead. This was progress, at least. Both Jacob and the Pack needed someone on their side - someone who could offer age-earned wisdom without the ego-driven greed. But she couldn't believe her father had left them alone.

Right now, Bella was kinda wishing he hadn't.

As she continued her slow approach, trying to infuse each step with fraudulent calm, Jacob straightened more on the edge of the bed as he silently held her gaze.

She stopped a foot from him as her eyes flitted over that taut body. Some instinct pulled them to his knees.

Bella caged her gasp behind courageous lips. His clawed hands were frozen over his thighs, crimson half-moons welling up around each nail. Gruesome red trails like fingerpaint over smooth skin, disappeared under the dark knit of his shorts.

He was literally tearing himself apart.

Her eyes snapped back up to his - there was a tempest tumbling behind his eyes like sneakers in a dryer.

For several seconds they just stared at each other.

Bella's heart was hemorrhaging but it was pooling in warm salty courage and resolve in her gut. She couldn't let this happen to him. She wouldn't.

"Jake.." she began quietly, reaching out a hand.

He flinched, jerking back, and Bella froze.

Her eyes darted between his, trying to read him. He looked worried... afraid. Tipping her head to the side, she let her eyes wash over his face, looking for clues. His muscles were trembling, his body leaning away - as if he were braced against a door behind which railed a monster.

Right now in the solitude of the house, there were no rules or boundaries to prop up ragged restraint. She could viscerally feel the press of that frustrated dominion combusting under his frayed and popping seams. Her eyes flitted back up to his. He didn't trust himself right now... so Bella needed pick up the slack and show him that she did. Even when he was falling apart, she had faith in him.

But to do so, she also had to have faith in herself. She acted on instinct...

Without a word, Bella lowered her gaze and slithered to the floor in front of him, reaching out to one of those abused thighs.

The unexpected move took him by surprise, giving her just enough time to bridge the distance with touch.

She heard his soft intake of breath as her palm slipped over his knee. She ignored it as, slowly, she pulled herself forward, and her eyes darted over the glistening wake of wounds. As if in slow motion, she brought the towel up with her other hand and - keeping the soothing tether of touch with her palm - mopped the blood from skin that had already healed to smooth perfection. Carefully avoiding his gaze, Bella repeated her ministrations on the other thigh.

Dropping the towel between his feet, she leaned her cheek down on the hand resting on his knee and closed her eyes.

Instinct was such a powerful thing, now she understood. Without realizing it she had instantly changed the power dynamic between them - her innately submissive position had awakened that protective instinct and given him focus. She viscerally felt the softening of his energy as his body relaxed under her and a trembling hand ghosted over her head.

A sad smile curved her lips as she blindly brought her other hand up to rub over nothing but dents now in his thigh, reading the braille of his pain.

"Don't do this to yourself, Jake," she whispered cryptically.

His hand stilled wearily on her hair.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she shifted her cheek on her knuckles to look up at his face. His expression was complex... conflicted. But it showed actual emotion and that was a definite improvement.

Bella wordlessly held his gaze as her hand switched trajectory to soothe down his calf.

And she waited. Something she did very well.

While her fingertips played absently with the silky masculine hairs on his leg, she watched the minute expressions play across his face as words and thoughts rallied behind those rolling lips.

Finally she heard the squirting swallow that prefaced the parting of russet lips. "I wanna know what he did to you," he choked.

Bella's eyes closed with a sigh. This was precisely the wrong direction. Her eyes slowly blinked back open as she lifted her cheek from her hand and sat up more, rearranging herself on her knees.

"Jacob, I'm not going to talk about this right now," she said quietly... firmly. "There's too much stuff broken. We have to fix us first."

His brow crumpled as his hand slithered away from the nape of her neck to rest on his thigh.

"Did my dad say how long?" she tried a quick switch of trajectory to tug that burgeoning belligerence off track.

Jacob released a heavy sigh. "He said to call when you got up," he glanced at her nightstand. Bella followed his gaze to find her bag propped against it and her phone plugged into its charger. "Emb brought it when he came to pick up the cruiser this morning," he mumbled.

Bella turned back to him with a sly smile. "I don't need to call him yet."

"Just call him," Jacob sighed, rubbing his face brusquely with his palms and then leaning back on bracing hands.

Bella's eyes flicked up to the ceiling. "No freaking way," she muttered. "He's giving us this time, Jake," she pressed. "Telling himself I'm gonna sleep til noon."

Hooded eyes met hers and that face calcified back into an unreadable mask.

"Plausible deniability," she arched a humorous brow, desperately trying to pull him back.

"Bella, I'm so-..." he sat up as his hands fisted into his hair, subtly scooting back further on the bed. He was still running away... from her.

"I'm so, so …. so fucked up right now... I -..." his words evaporated into a strangled huff.

Bella pushed up to her feet and sat beside him on the bed as her gaze ran worriedly over his profile. With a hiss, Jacob collapsed over his thighs, holding his head in his hands while Bella tried to figure out what the hell to do.

"I just can't get it out of my head... I-.." he choked brokenly. "It's making my wolf fucking nuts..." his forearms fell over his knees as he turned to her with torment etched into his face. "I could hurt you."

Oddly it was the dried pizza sauce smeared over the side of his neck from her fingers last night that gave her the idea. That, and Embry's comment last night.

"Can you still smell it?" she asked quietly, with a thoughtful pucker between her brow.

Jacob blinked several times.

"Leech?" she clarified.

"It's fucking burned into my brain," he growled, as his hands once again slapped up to his face.

"Oh my God!" Bella burst to her feet, all the little pieces clicking together. On top of all the crazy-making events he was having to deal with that? No wonder he was half out of his mind. "Take a shower!" she commanded, her hands finding her hips.

At her tone, Jacob's face snapped up, his eyes instantly hardened by hair trigger testosterone.

She quickly softened her approach as her hands slipped down from her hips. "I mean, you've still got pizza on your neck and stinking like vampire can't be helping things any, right?" she gave him a Cheshire cat grin as she took a step closer. "You've even got leaves and crap in your hair," she chuckled softly, reaching out and pulling a piece of hay from his messy ebony spikes. She flicked it away but sneakily returned to rake her fingernails over his scalp.

The reaction was instantaneous: those squared shoulders softened and his eyelids fluttered closed. Bella stepped closer between his knees and repeated the motion with both hands as that cagey tension palpably melted and a subtle rumbling rose in his chest.

"C'mon Jake," she murmured, tipping her head and watching how the hard lines of his face slowly slipped lax. But he wasn't the only one affected; his scent billowed up from the warmth of his scalp, relaxing her in a heady and undeniably chemical reaction. He didn't stink to her - not at all. Even unshowered he smelled deliciously earthy with a spicy virile tang that did crazy things to her stomach.

With a dreamy smile she leaned in and pressed her lips to his forehead. "Lemme take care of you," she whispered against his hairline.

"I should be taking care of you," he slurred, sounding as drunk as she was feeling at the moment.

"You are," she murmured through her smile. "By taking a shower."

Jacob's face tipped up with a surprisingly earnest expression glistening in his eyes. It was then that Bella really understood just how little human sentience he had at the moment - he didn't seem to realize she was so obviously playing him at all.

All things considered, it was certainly an underhanded tactic... but, hey, whatever worked. Right now Bella was all about results.

"I mean have you seen my sheets?" she quirked a tender brow at that vulnerable stare.

Jacob turned over his shoulder and glanced at the knotted mess. She hadn't changed her sheets or made her bed since the day before and there were now two Jacob-visits worth of detritus sprinkled in with 400-count cotton.

He turned back to her with a grimace.

"And you know how OCD I am," she smirked, slipping her hands down to rest on his shoulders.

That actually coaxed a little involuntary smile - Bella didn't know whether to be grateful or offended. Heck, grateful all the way. Whatever worked.

"Take a shower honey - you'll feel better," she continued in an encouraging croon as she rubbed her hands absently over his rock-hard shoulders. "We'll talk after, promise."

At that tempting caveat, his body twitched and a little more sentience seemed to bleed into his face. He nodded once.

Her assessing eyes darted between his for a moment, and then she patted his shoulders. Turning away, she immediately started stripping her bed. The OCD thing was only partially a joke -she'd just been too tired yesterday morning to change them.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jacob push tiredly up to his towering height and roll his shoulders. With that silent liquid gait he slunk to the other side of the bed and started pulling up sheets, helping her.

Surprised, Bella looked up to find him watching her with intense dark eyes and her breath caught in her throat. She'd had a week to get used to the way that he changed, but still, every once in awhile - like now - the pure awe of it took her breath away.

Even so obviously struggling and worn, his face was still an undeniable work of art. The deep wide-set eyes he'd always had but were now even more pronounced under that heavy brow, making him look at once fierce and regal, yet sensitive. He'd grown into that broad nose and now it was the perfect counterbalance to high cheekbones and striking athletic chisel. Yet still that strong chin and angular jaw housed full sensual lips that should have now seemed out of place - especially trimmed by a rugged shadow of stubble - but somehow they just made that masculine power look kissable.

Jacob's hands stilled on the sheets as a furrow appeared between his brows and his gaze did a circuit of her face, obviously trying to read her.

Bella blinked back into the moment and dropped her eyes to the sheets, covering up her embarrassment with deflection. "Thanks," she mumbled, pulling the covers across the bed and balling them up against her chest.

Apparently that part of the imprint was undaunted, even with his palpable pain and her heartsick worry. Bella pulled her lip into mouth and strode toward the ajar closet. Kicking it open she dumped the sheets into the hamper and then closed the door, turning back around as she rubbed her hands absently on her hips.

Jacob was standing in the same position on the other side of the bed in her puny room looking huge... and lost.

"Lemme get you some towels," she offered him with a small smile and crossed back toward the hall. Just doing that one little task of stripping the bed was making her feel immensely more sane. When things got confusing or overwhelming, Bella needed to get busy.

She pulled open the linen closet in the hall and fished out two fresh snow white towels and peeked around door. Jacob was - of course - standing right there.

"Here you go," she murmured, offering them up with a reassuring smile.

Jacob's gaze dropped to the towels as he pulled them into his chest. Their hands brushed and it sent a tingling zing up her arm... but Bella barely noticed because his hands were so noticeably tremoring. Her eyes darted up questioningly to his face but he refused to meet her eyes.

Pursing her lips, she turned back to the closet and gathered the new cream sheet set she'd bought in Arizona.

"Why didn't you rinse off last night, huh Jake?" she asked carefully, pulling the sheets into her arms. His silence confirmed her hypothesis.

Stepping back she nudged the door with her foot and closed it with her shoulder looking up at the struggling man peering down at her from under his lashes. Dwarfing the hallway with his towels clutched uncomfortably against that ridiculously bulky chest, he was nothing short of pitiful.

"I-.." he began, but the words stalled on his tongue.

"Wolf thing?" Bella ventured quietly.

He nodded, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. "I can't let you out of my sight, Bells," he rasped. "Not right now."

Bella blinked as she processed; it was so very much like what Emily had described that she was worried. But Sam was getting better so Jacob could too, she reminded herself. Bella drew in a steeling breath and forced her anxiety out in a long slow exhale. They were both so battered.

"I'll be right across the hall," Bella whispered, reaching out a hand to that quivering muscular forearm and waiting.

He finally met her gaze with an imperceptible nod.

Pressing her lips together, Bella shimmied past him back to her bedroom. She just needed to keep moving - and something in her told her she needed to keep him moving too.

"I'm leaving the door open."

Bella's feet faltered just inside her room and her head jerked unthinkingly over her shoulder. Jacob was standing stiffly just inside the bathroom with his back to her and head bowed. Her stomach had dropped clear down to her toes - she was pretty sure - but still there didn't seem to be enough room in her ribcage for her pounding heart.

"Kay," she squeaked, pulling her shoulders up to her ears as she turned back to the stripped bed.

Those five simple words had ignited every nerve like detonating cord. She crossed slowly to the bed as her mind stumbled and staggered, trying to find purchase on such provocative shores.

The shower whispered on and she stopped at the edge of the mattress and absently dropped the sheets.

Every cell in her body begged her to turn around.

Crap. She wanted to soooo badly.

But hey, there was nothing wrong with that, was there? She was his imprint.

But somehow it just felt wrong to just shamelessly oggle him when he was so vulnerable and struggling...

"Bella?"

With a gasp - and not a thought in the world - she jerked around.

Jacob had both hands fisted in the back of his shirt and he was frowning at her from under a bulky arm.

"Breathe, honey." Her expression must have been pretty funny, because a tiny wry smile flickered over that frown.

Heat rushed to her cheeks as she jerked her chin in a nod, dutifully inhaling a breath into her (indeed) starving lungs.

He turned back around and finished pulling his shirt off in that way that men did from the back and that she'd always found so sexy. He dropped it casually to the floor as he straightened, the muscles flexing with coordinated grace across broad impressive shoulders.

Bella simply couldn't look away. She just couldn't.

His hands came up to his shorts and hooked under the waistband, pausing just for a moment...and then promptly shucked them down over a more delectable behind than Bella could have ever dreamed of (and she had certainly given it a try ever since she'd seen those low-slung jeans peeking out from under the hood of her truck that first day). Jacob slipped out of the pants with fluent efficiency and then kicked them to the side.

With a little gasp, Bella's knees pretty much gave out, and she collapsed on the edge of the bed.

He was …

He was...

Jacob was freaking magnificent (to put it mildly).

And he definitely knew he was putting on a show because he raised his arms up to brace his fingers against the ceiling, arching his back into the stretch and excising every last muscle down that sleek powerful form. From his broad shoulders sweeping into narrow hips, down thick thighs to long sinewy calves, the musculature shuddered and bunched under his smooth toffee skin. Only that dented butt was a shade lighter making it all the more tempting to pinch.

With a grunt, Jacob lowered his arms and raked open the shower curtain, stepping inside. He jerked it back in place behind him with barely a backward glance, but Bella could have sworn she'd seen the wan ghost of one of his cocky smiles.

But holy crap, he could be as cocky as he wanted when he looked like that. Frankly, it was pretty intimidating. Her body was acceptable, she supposed - she was well proportioned, if not on the skinny side (except for her bubble-butt) - but she didn't have the curves or cleavage of someone like Lauren or the popular girls at school.

Bella rubbed her hands on her face with a huff. She couldn't afford to slip into childish insecurity... not right now. This wasn't high school anymore (even if it technically was). There were so many other things that were more important than vanity: monsters and magic, duty and honor, council combat and supernatural wars. But most important of all was that Jacob needed her right now and she had to be strong.

Patting her thighs, she stood with purpose. All the blood that hadn't rushed to her face had apparently pooled between her thighs and she adjusted her yoga pants with a little shimmy. She was starting to devise a little strategy.

She started making the bed while making plans at the same time - this may well be her only chance. She could feel him trying to pull away so he could crumble in privacy. Bella wouldn't let him.

However, the little scheme she was coming up with was so freaking out of her comfort zone that it wasn't even funny, but - all things considered - it just might be her only chance at fishing them both out of this sucking undertow.

Could she do it?

Her heart did a little flip in her chest and she glanced over her shoulder at the inky spikes poking up over the shower curtain as he dipped his face down into the spray.

Jacob turned around and tried to let the water wash the burdens from his shoulders. The warm sluice did soothe muscles that were burning from the effort it took to hold this form.

Honestly with the first splash of redemptive water over his face, the fires of insanity had started to sizzle and he'd realized just how right Bella had been. As the residual scent of last night's tears and that sickening miasma were washed away, his wolf's straining against his buckling tether had started slackening. He should have understood that, like an allergic reaction, his instinct was suffering from what amounted to anaphylactic shock on top of everything else. But like a partier can't see just how drunk he was the night before until the hangover in the morning, Jacob had been blind.

He'd thought he was in some semblance of control. He'd been lulled into that illusion in the wreckage of yesterday, sitting at her kitchen table with her in his arms and their fathers offering their unspoken - if not grudging - acceptance. But as the night wore on and he watched the unraveling of his abandoned Pack in the tormented recesses of his mind, he'd also been watching his own demise.

Bella had seen it.

In one morning, she'd fluently fished him out of insanity, giving him direction and managing that berserker instinct until he was standing here in her bathtub, washing away grime, impulse and memories and simply catching a blessed breath.

Squeegeeing the water from his face, he glanced over the shower rod for the 50th time in the last few minutes to see her smoothing wrinkles from the fitted sheet with that endearing neuroticism. As she straightened, she glanced up at him and that flush to her cheeks deepened, sending a jolt straight to his dick. With a lovely little smile - that was sexy as fucking hell - she dropped her gaze before she pulled that plump lower lip into her mouth as she turned to grab the pillow case from the nightstand.

He hadn't flicked on the light (or the fan) and he could scent her residual arousal from here. He'd known she'd been watching him undress (secretly wanted it) and his sick wolf had veritably preened under the honeyed scent of her appreciation.

And that was just going to be another fucking minefield to navigate. Last night he'd all but convinced himself that he was going to let her go. Their legends proclaimed that imprints had a choice (so therefore didn't a wolf?) and there had to be some way of breaking this thing.

But except for Taha Aki, a wolf had never survived the passing of his imprint. After how last night had affected him, he understood he'd never survive it either. He wouldn't even want to try. So if they did figure out how to break the imprint, he had no idea what it would do to him - or his Pack... but he also couldn't fucking care less. He'd shoved that domineering voice of his inheritance down under the tides of his protective instinct. That the Alpha in him wanted her for the stability of the Pack was of no consequence now - Jacob was hardly any use to them anyway.

With a grim sigh, he glanced over the shower curtain again to an empty room, and searing adrenaline shot through his veins like a firestorm, even though he could clearly hear each measuring beat of her heart. His hands snapped up to the rod as he turned his body toward the room with nothing short of panic.

He was seconds away from ripping his way out of the shower and charging across the hall, when she strode back into view shaking a pillow down into its case. A soft lupine whine of relief escaped his throat and Bella's face snapped to the sound. Confusion furrowed her brow at whatever she saw in his face.

"I need to see you," he rasped, nothing short of a pitiful plea.

She nodded, an expression he couldn't read flitting over her face, but she threw the pillow on the bed and sat down beside it anyway, picking up her brush from the nightstand.

His wolf appeased, Jacob turned back to the spray of water and grabbed her pink razor from the soap dish.

"Can I use this?" he asked, holding up the implement.

Bella turned over her shoulder and a private smile played on her lips. "Sure."

He watched her pulling the brush through her long mahogany waves as he raked the razor over the stubble on his face with the harsh scratching of two days' growth.

He'd never watched her brush her hair before, and he was thinking at the moment that that was really a Goddamn shame. After she'd worked through the knots, the habitual motion took root in her hand and her movements became slow and sensuous. She luxuriantly brushed with long strokes and a dreamy grace that made her curls coalesce in shining corrugated silk behind them.

Holy shit, he wanted her.

The razor had fallen to his side long ago while he'd been entranced by the ritual before him and, with monumental effort, he turned his back on that alluring scene to finish his face... and to fucking think.

He needed to think.

Luckily there was starting to be a little more space in his crowded brain to do that. As this morning had worn on, his Pack was just starting to fare a little better - interestingly enough, courtesy in part to Leah (and his father). Through the memories of the phased wolves, he watched Leah's usual brash impatience put punch behind Jared's feeble orders and, in that way that all bitchy big sisters had, had garnered resentful compliance.

Now the basics were being covered: the younger wolves were sent on patrols to guard the borders on this sunny day, the Council were gathering at the Clearwaters' with the more experienced Pack, and the intractable Paul was given custody and charge of Charlie's mangled cruiser in a desperate attempt just to get him to shut his fucking mouth.

While Jacob was through making decisions behind Bella's back without her counsel, he also needed to have some kind of strategy when they talked.

Because she'd promised they'd talk and she never broke a promise.

The best plan he could come up with at the moment was to kill James, get her to refuse the imprint and send her off to her mom's. And there was no fucking way she was going to agree to that.

Jacob shoved his face under the shower head and spluttered as he let the water run into his mouth while his mind spun.

It was really pretty black and white. The only way to get her to agree was to convince her it was what he needed. And it was. Above all other things - position, Pack and the love for her that made his heart bleed with each beat- he needed to keep her safe.

And, after last night, it was obvious he just wasn't good enough to do that.

She needed to leave.

He did a quick final rinse-off of his hair and back ( luckily she'd also changed her soap to scentless like her shampoo - smelling of frou-frou strawberries just might have been nearly as bad as leech).

He jerked the water off and wiped a hand down his face, his body turning automatically toward ...an empty room.

His pulse lunged into a sickening sprint. That redolent sweetness that was Bella and arousal had sharpened with an anxious tang, her heartrate was fluttering, and her breath was shallow and quick. But yet there was no scent of another body - warm or otherwise.

Still apprehension turned his blood to ice - his wolf was going nuts. He barely had the sense to snatch one of the towels and throw it around his hips. Chanting silent prayers for self-control, he grabbed the second towel and threw it over his shoulder, hastily patting it over his face as he charged across the hall.

"Bell-..."

The A caught in his throat as every last cell in his body screeched to a halt just inside her door.

…

…

…

Jacob blinked soundly. Trying to push that sublime vision into his stalled brain.

She was sitting on the rocking chair in the corner, wrapped in nothing but a creamy sheet tucked over her breasts. She'd carefully rearranged her hair to drape over each bared shoulder in a futile attempt to mask the bruising, but at the moment Jacob hardly cared.

She was simply

utterly

unequivocally

gorgeous.

Warm brown eyes peered back at him nervously from under those long curling lashes and a soft blush warmed her cheeks like a sunrise. With delicate shoulders hunched up uncomfortably and her face tipped timidly off to one side -it was just as sick as the rest of this shit - but that feminine diffidence totally made his wolf crazy.

"Ah," that A was finally pushed from his throat but the pressure of ballooning desire.

Her brow furrowed as some of that uncertainty slipped away from candid confusion.

"As in Bella," he croaked, by way of lame explanation. Holy shit, just a glance and he was a raving lunatic.

Deliciously mismatched raspberry lips curved up in gentle humor at his expense, and she seemed to collect her confidence along with the linens around her body. The sheet flowed down to the floor, caressing that petite frame lovingly as she stood with an uncharacteristic grace.

Which was quickly shattered. The rocking chair knocked back against the wall and the sound made her whip around with a start.

She turned back to him with chagrin pulling the corner of her lip into her mouth.

Jacob tried to offer her a reassuring smile, but he simply had no control of his face. His brain was a million percent occupied with inventorying every little detail: the graceful column of her neck, the delicate hollow of her throat, the way flawless creamy skin swept down to the blossoming swell of breasts pressed up by the arm holding the sheet under them. She looked down then, the curtain of her shining hair falling over one shoulder as her free hand pulled up the linen from her feet in a deliciously feminine way. But dressed in effective white and with that fair skin, the bruise on her arm stood out like a neon sign.

And pushed just the slightest bit of sanity back into his swollen brain. She'd been nearly raped yesterday and here she was offering her body like a sacrifice to yet another monster.

But she was just so ...

she was...

Bella was so fucking beautiful.

He found that honorable resolve slipping away with each step she took toward him. Her gaze was locked on his, but his eyes had to obsessively inventory that body, being tantalizingly insinuated by each undulating movement of flowing cloth. It was quite simply the sexiest thing he'd ever seen: the girl of his dreams, wrapped in nothing but bedclothes and promises, approaching him with hope in her dark endless eyes and familiar humor sparkling on her lips.

Fuck, he loved her so much.

The crisp sound of her tongue over her lips made his eyes snap compulsively up to that mouth.

"So I thought maybe we could continue that conversation we started yesterday," she whispered. A nervous little quiver in her voice robbed the glibness of obviously rehearsed words, but it just made them that much more seductive. She was nervous but trying so hard - like always she was caring, genuine... present. Just some of the many things he loved about her.

He wanted to make her more comfortable by offering something... a smile, a word, a fucking expression on his face, but his body had a mind of its own. His wolf was perked up in rapt and salivating attention along with his throbbing dick.

Her lashes fluttered as her eyes darted over his face looking for some reaction as she continued her slow purposeful step. With the air of a last resort, finally her gaze slipped down his tense chest and abs and found undoubtedly fucking magnificent evidence of that response. Her eyes snapped back up to his as that rosy stain spread down her neck to settle against her breasts.

Jacob's eyes brazenly followed it, his attention instantly impaled on the pearly press of hard nipples against the sheet.

His tongue reflexively ran over lips. The scent of piqued anxiety was sweetening into thick honeyed arousal and his mouth was literally watering. Just like a dog.

She paused not two feet in front of him, cocking her head to the side as she leisurely considered him and slowly her luscious lips curved up in a knowing smile. It was sexy as hell.

"You okay, Jake?"

Jacob felt his swallow crimp his throat. He'd stopped trying to cajole his body into submission, and was now frantically restraining it. It took every ounce of strength he had not to reach out and grab that tiny body into his arms.

Her lips bunched up on one side with a soft sniffing laugh. It was such a very Bella expression that he found his own lips reflexively twitching. Her attention snapped down to the movement and got stuck on his lips.

And Jacob did the only thing he could ...and closed his eyes on temptation. It was simply too arousing to see her contemplating his mouth while that ambrosial scent bathed his senses in crack.

Rescued from that visual overwhelm, Jacob suddenly realized that - for the first time since he'd phased - he was utterly alone in his mind. He could still feel his pack - that omnipresent tug against his soul - but he'd instinctually shut the connection down. He'd thought it was impossible - Lord, how he'd tried. Fucking surprise: his wolf had known how to do it all along.

Now the beast was free and clear to do the only thing that was boiling through its primal brain: take his mate.

And Jacob was so incredibly screwed.

His breath had gone deep and slow long ago, and he switched his focus to that...fervently trying to ignore the sound of her footstep and the sheets whispering behind her like a wedding train. Strangely the fact that she was now walking away from him did nothing to stoke that habitual anxiety in his wolf - the animal was patiently waiting, a palpable purr singing through the marrow of his bones.

He heard the hinges behind him squeak and the soft click of her door ...and the beast howled in anticipation.

Bella cleared her throat softly and he heard the rustle of cloth as she turned around. "So, lemme do a little talking for both us," she murmured, serious and sincere.

He heard her take the several steps to stand right behind him and chill bumps exploded over his skin at the warmth of her proximity.

"I'm guessing you've been trying to think of someway to convince me walk away from this thing," she pronounced simply.

The towel on his shoulder was slowly pulled back, dragging across his nipple and making the muscles shudder over his chest.

"Because you think that last night proves something," she whispered over the rustle of terrycloth. "And it does, but not what you think," she continued cryptically.

Soft cloth pressed against his skin and the muscles jumped against it. She paused a moment and then began patting over the lingering moisture on his back. The residue of shower had now joined the sweat of restraint.

"It proves that we need each other, Jake," she mused quietly. Her words were as thoughtful and gentle as the touch that caressed over his shoulder, sopping up his resolve. "It proves that we're stronger together and our hearts know it," she continued as she smoothed down his Lats to the small of his back. "And it proves that leaving this imprint thing hanging is gonna kill us."

She paused on such a grim pronouncement. And one that was a gazillion percent true. But that didn't mean there wasn't a way out of it.

His rebuttal exploded over his lips. "Bella there's gotta be some-..."

She pinched his excuses off in the bud. Literally.

His eyes popped open as he craned over his shoulder in macho indignation. She'd pinched his ass?

She was peering up at him with mischief sparkling in her eyes and a saccharine smile.

"Karma," she grinned. "I'd been dying to do that ever since you mooned me in the bathroom."

A fallow laugh burst from his lips.

"Plus I wasn't done yet," she pouted humorously. "Turn back around and go back to closing your eyes again. That was good."

His wolf usually didn't react to orders very well, but oh, was he enjoying this little game. The beast was only too happy to comply.

With a sniffling shake of his head at her gall, he did what he was told. But this time it felt completely different - in her sneaky Jedi mind-trick way she was slowly getting him to relax.

"But here's the most important thing, Jake," she said, the lightness in her voice evaporating as she rubbed the towel down the other side.

That residual curve of his lips pressed into a straight line at her tone.

"Last night was just what you warned me about," she whispered, her voice breaking and hammering a furrow into his brow.

"I mean I know you know what he tried to do... and also what he plans to do," she rasped brokenly as her little hand stilled with the towel at the nape of his neck. "And now you can't say I don't know what I'm getting into," she breathed.

Slowly she pulled the towel down the trench of his spine, "So last night proves," she continued, her voice gathering strength and certainty as her fingers lovingly cataloging each vertebrae. "That I know what I'm doing when I say," she stopped her caress at the base of his spine and he heard that whisper of cloth drop to the floor.

"I love you too much to walk away."

Jacob's eyes popped open as his heart imploded, pulling his breath over his lips with a hiss.

"Bells -" he breathed.

She stopped him with the touch of her bare palm against his back over his heart. "Jake, I love you and I trust you," she whispered in a fierce, fiery rasp of breath. "Don't let them win. We can do this, we just gotta take care of us first."

A warmth bloomed in his gut, rising up with a gentle insistent pressure that reinflated his heart.

Hope.

"I love you," she breathed over his skin and then he felt the moist press of lips on his spine. His entire body shuddered as she leaned her forehead right between his shoulder blades.

For a moment he was paralyzed, feeling her breath hitch in gusts down his back. "Don't push me away," she murmured. "Please?"

That was it.

In a heartbeat, he'd turned around and pulled her into his side with a fervent arm. His eyes ran over that face and the liquid petition pooling in her eyes as the hand not wrapped around that delicate ribcage came up to brush its fingertips over her cheekbone.

"I'm scared, Bells," he whispered, a vulnerable admission straight from a heart that had never forgotten that it was only 17. It was a confession of weakness that he'd never before let see the light of day since that first crack of bone.

Bella blinked, tears rushing from the corner of her eyes in a lamenting stream. He could see clear down to her soul in that intense presence - that clearly understood the poignancy of such an admission. He watched those yawning eyes swallow down every lonely day encompassed in those three simple words and drown them in loving absolution.

Slowly her hand wrapped under breasts slipped away, trailing over his chest until it rested tenderly on his solar plexus - the center and source of his being.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here. We're together now, Jake."

Jacob's hand traced over her jaw as his eyes greedily guzzled that comfort like a starving man. Which he undeniably was.

And like she always had, Bella waited.

She watched as a thousand memories clicked over his face in microexpressions, each one absorbing that oath and her comfort and finally set free.

His cherishing calloused fingertips wiped at the trail of her tears and then slipped down over her shoulder -pausing to cover the bruise on her arm with a warm redemptive palm - before settling over her hand on his chest.

"God, I love you," he mouthed the words in merely the ephemeral breath of his soul. "I promise..."

The vow was left purposefully hanging to leave room for infinite predicates as he slowly leaned down and branded every last one into her mouth.

They both gasped, the air torn between them and the vacuum swallowing them whole. That electric tingle had transformed into a sucking ache - the visceral yearning of two hearts divided.

Jacob's mouth fastened ravenously over her own instantly voracious hunger as his hand came up to her jaw. His own urgent grunts echoing in her throat, their bodies fumbled desperately trying to get closer.

Stooping over into her ravenous demand, both hands cupped her face as he gulped down her need like a potent accelerant to his own. The plea in those little hands digging into his shoulders - pulling, holding, wanting - made him groan.

The slithering whisper of sheets was the only thing possibly more enticing.

His eyes popped open.

So did hers.

The slow sly curve his lips unzipped their locked mouths.

Heat rushed to Bella's face as she peered back at that sultry and deliciously mischievous smile. His eyes looked like they were fighting not to dip down to where the sheets had slipped to the floor, leaving her body bared to cool incriminating air. They paced between hers... back and forth like a caged animal.

"Can I?" he asked in a plaintive whisper, the break in his voice betraying the desperation behind that roguish grin.

Bella pulled her lip into her mouth as her heart beat in her face. Realizing just how fiercely her hands were digging into his shoulders, she released him, timidly closing her eyes, even while she bravely stepped out of his embrace.

The deafening silence echoed in her ears and made her stomach flip with nerves.

But there were simply no fucking words in any language.

Jacob's brain had been lobotomized in a quick efficient glance - 17 fucking years of anticipation hit him like a freight train.

His wolf was only more than happy to take up the slack and he swiftly pulled the man to his knees so he could get closer to what he'd waited for for infinitely longer.

His mate.

Heated yellow eyes caressed flawless silk that stretched over dainty shoulders and a fine collarbone. That smooth skin swept down into two pert perfect swells peaked with suckable rosebud nipples. Her petite rib cage was a little too prominent - but the alluring plain of her stomach pulled the wolf past the fleeting condemnation of how poorly his human had cared for her.

That expanse of creamy skin, dented with a demure navel, was begging to be painted with his tongue and an appetent growl rose up in the wake of his gaze. The beast covetously surveyed the narrow waist spreading into feminine hips gated by wide hearty bones - perfect for bearing cubs - as heat rushed to his loins.

An annoying triangle of white cotton was the only impediment to the heated waves of honeyed scent that were driving him wild. But since there was so much to explore, the wolf decided he could be patient - at least for the moment. It just meant more pleasure to unwrap very soon.

Greedily he inventoried the rest of his prize: long smooth legs with sturdy thighs made to wrap tightly around his waist so he could ride her hard. Graceful calves and delicate feet that dug nervously in the sheets pooled around her on the floor with an endearing innocence that begged to be ravished. This exquisite creature was custom made to both the man's tastes and the wolf's desire, both inside and out: unfathomable perfection.

A low delirious purr simmered in his chest as the wolf devoured his mate with starving eyes - over and over, frenetically trying to memorize every detail. But he had their long mortal years to survey every pore and he'd waited his preternatural eternity for her already.

It was time.

Hot yellow eyes snapped up to milky breasts and that purr became an anticipant growl as he grabbed for her.

The girl squeaked, stumbling back on the sheets, as her arms flew to her chest.

With lightning reflexes, Jacob caught her, her fear just unsettling enough to his wolf that humanity could snap to the reins. His hands gently steadied her and then slipped up into the air in chagrined surrender.

"Sorry," he grimaced, looking up into her face with eyes viscerally cooling back to sentient. She was frightened, and Jacob wanted to skin his wolf alive. The supernatural immortal that was grafted onto his soul was as old as time itself and it didn't understand how new this was for both them.

And how carefully and tenderly she needed to be touched.

But Jacob did.

"Shh," he crooned soothingly as his eyes darted between hers. Slowly he reached out to her, bringing gentle hands to her wrists and petitioning them away with a feather touch.

Bella bit her lip, as her eyes darted over that face, melting back into the caring man she knew from that fiery feral passion that, moments ago, had lit his eyes with licking flame. She was embarrassed by her reaction - she knew the wolf wouldn't hurt her - but the intensity of that hunger was just as frightening as her own... and she just wasn't ready to give everything away.

Bella's hands slowly slithered across the distance, over the peaks and dents of his muscular arms on the way to rest on his shoulders, silently offering forgiveness.

As her redemptive palms settled on his shoulders, Jacob searched her face a moment more, until he was satisfied that any of the lingering hesitancy was from discomfort and not fear.

His large hands reached out to her sides to ghost, slow and soothingly, down over her hips while he followed them this time with awed human eyes.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, a cavernous awe inflating the word like a parachute as he smoothed his big hands down her thighs. "You're perfect, Bella." Jacob looked up back up with eyes that ached.

She still looked uncertain but he just couldn't care at the moment because those breasts had been calling him since they'd first popped free from that fucking sheet.

He couldn't wait any longer.

His hands came up to cup them, gentle, cherishing, as he weighed perfection in each palm.

Oh God, this was heaven.

His thumb brushed over one velvet nipple and he heard her soft sucking breath, watching in wonder as chilbumps fled outward over delicate skin like a starburst. The sweet heady scent of arousal seemed to condense from the air like vapored honey.

Hers and his own.

His wolf, all but forgotten in rapture, surprised him with a gratified howl through the marrow of his being as he impatiently jerked his tether with enough force that Jacob got whiplash.

He groaned low in his throat, leaning forward and resting his forehead in the valley between her breasts as instinct clawed and flailed in rebellion. Slowly his arms wrapped around her waist as he feverishly counted the grounding thud of her heart against his brow.

"Oh God," he whispered, squeezing his eyes closed and watching the pyrotechnics explode behind his eyes. He needed to take this slow - for himself just as much as her - but the depth of his reactions were simply staggering.

"It's jus'-..." he panted quietly. "It's just so much."

He felt her hand rake soothingly back through his hair to rest at the nape of his neck.

"Um..." he heard the crinkle of her smile. "I'm pretty sure I'm barely a B, Jake."

The unexpected humor hits its mark perfectly, and Jacob threw his head back and barked a deep belly laugh - the kind he hadn't done in over a year.

Still chuckling, he tipped his head back down to her glorious smile. "Now that was funny," he grinned.

Bella arched a shrewd brow. "I guess there's a first time for everything, huh?" she quipped, her finger tracing the shell of his ear and highlighting the double entendre.

"Ooo," he pursed his lips theatrically. "Another one." With a grin he hoisted her up effortlessly with him as he as he unfolded to his feet. "Your boobs rock, Bells," he murmured into her hair. Her pealing giggles bubbled up and tinkled to the floor around them.

Once again she'd fluently injected the perfect antidote into the fire that boiled through his veins: the cooling lightness of their friendship. How the fuck did she always know?

He pressed a bright grateful smack to her nose as he walked them to the bed. "You're awesome, you know that, right?"

Her cheeks flushed with endearing chagrin, but she leaned forward and pressed gratified lips to his anyway.

"Mmm," he hummed against her leisurely mouth, sitting down at the foot of the bed and pulling her with him as he laid back on the mattress. But the movement made their bare chests slide against each other, satin against silk. The friction was nothing short of ecstasy.

Bella broke the kiss with a gasp as she settled over his chest and Jacob's head lowered slowly back to the bed.

His hands tenderly gathered her shining hair and pulled it over one shoulder, as he watched her luxuriate in the sensual magic between them. Eyes fluttering closed, she rubbed her cheek back and forth over his pec with a soft indolent sigh.

His hands ghosted lightly down her sides, up and down, as he watched her languidly pull her cheek back and forth over his chest, nuzzling his sternum, pressing her lips over his heart, humming contentment into his skin. He felt the full giving press of her breasts, the drag of beaded nipples, the concave softness of her stomach molding against his abs, her rolling hips' purposeful press against his aching arousal.

Captivated, his hands settled at the small of her back, riding her body's graceful undulations over him, each movement winding the spring in his loins ever tighter. It was an exquisite torture that he was all too happy to endure, just to see her so happy and free.

"Mmm...you feel so good, Jake," Bella breathed, her eyes blinking back open with a dreamy smile, meeting his watching her over the plains of his cheeks.

Jacob loved her.

He loved watching her - the words were whispered silently in his stare, gently curved ripe russet lips, softened his heavy brow. The hard shuttered chrysalis had split away from the luscious tender quick- if only for this moment - and his soul was swimming in the onyx pools of his eyes like days she thought she'd thought were lost.

This was Jacob. Her Jacob.

Joy welled up in her heart like tsunami, spilling over in a single effervescent laugh over her lips, carefree and blithe. It ignited a sunny gazillion kilowatt smile on the man beneath her. Her hands came up to knit under her chin on his chest as she basked in his warmth like a day on the beach.

He sniffed a laugh at her unapologetic stare and a hand rode the rail of her spine, jumping shoulder to cheek where his fingers began cherishingly tracing her hairline. "I can't believe you're here," he murmured, the words ephemeral and dissipating on his breath.

Bella picked her chin up off her knuckles and arched a questioning brow. "Hmm?"

Jacob drew in a breath, shifting under her as both hands came up to rake his nails sensuously over her scalp. Bella's eyes fluttered closed with a hum of pleasure.

"In my bed, naked."

Bella's eyes popped open as her smile tilted, pulling her head to the side and into that big warm palm.

"Well - technically - you're in my bed," she corrected him slyly.

Jacob's eyes had been tracing her mouth and they slithered up to her eyes as that predictable flash of dominance sparked in his eyes at her tease.

"And - technically - you're not naked," he retorted, the words sticky and cinching his lips in a purse.

Her tummy did a little flip as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.

The purse of his lips slipped into a private smile as his gaze idly washed over her blush while his hands crept over her hair and filtered down to brush down the curve of her back. They stopped in a slow warm cup over her butt.

Settling, they kneaded slowly, pointedly pushing them into that hard ridge of flesh. Bella sucked in a breath as her hands balled up into fists under her chin and his eyes leisurely cataloged the little twitches in her face that mimicked the sparkles exploding in her brain. She crossed her ankles between his calves to try to cage that swollen ache between her thighs.

"What's up with these, Bells?" he whispered, teasing and suggestive at the same time.

Bella's eyes dropped in chagrin as her heart beat in her face; suddenly she felt out of her depth, uncertain and certainly not at her snarky best. Though she knew this was just as new for him, Jacob was so... confident.

She heard his sniff. "It's so you."

Her eyes darted up along with her chin off her hands. But her indignant scowl instantly softened at the look in his eyes - he was trying to make her comfortable.

"That little neurotic self just couldn't go all the way, huh?" he teased with a little wink, his hands stilling on her hips, taking pity on her.

But his thumbs couldn't seem to resist slipping under the cotton string of her bikini, brushing across the bare skin. His touch had gone as soothing as his eyes and it gave her indignation just the needed little spark of confidence.

"Oh, I'm going all the way, alright," she whispered looking him dead in the eye as she reached a finger out to trace his chin with her best attempt at coy.

The air thickened between them as his mouth curved in sultry approval and it made a little starburst of heat detonate in her chest.

"Soo..." he dragged the word out on an exaggerated croon as his thumbs looped under each string and tugged gently. "How do you feel about these?"

Her wry smile dried up instantly in a confused frown.

Jacob's lips lifted up from those front teeth with a smile at her expense. "I mean, are they special or sentimental or some shit?"

Bella snorted with a roll of her eyes. "How can underwear be sentimental, Jake?"

He didn't answer, but his fingers snapped incidentally at each hip and magically her panties were held in his taunting hand. Holding her gaze, with a little theatrical twirl he tossed them out of sight.

"Now that's not fair!" she complained, covering her discomfiture with teasing complaint.

Jacob raised his brow even as his hands came down to smooth eagerly over her bare skin.

For a second, she simply couldn't get her mouth to work - his big warm hands felt so incredibly good as they rubbed over her bottom while his eyes sparkled with relish and sunlight. His fingers brushed over the crease above her thigh before dragging lightly up the crack making her shudder and blush, torn between the impulse to collapse in submission or twist away in mortification.

She cleared her throat with an attempt to hold the reins and stay the course.

"I mean," she choked, the thin squeaky sound of her voice robbing her pitiful attempts. "Now I'm naked and you've still got this freaking towel." She wiggled her hips meaningfully over the bunched up terrycloth and was vindicated by his frozen hands and soft throaty moan.

She did it again, enjoying the fact that with a twitch of her hips, she had the power to subdue that swagger and make his eyes roll in his head.

"Oh, I'm all about fair," he sucked the word through his teeth with a surprising buck of his hips. In the ensuing space between them he ripped the towel away in a lightning snap.

Bella's widened eyes followed the blur of white fabric disappearing over the side of the bed... but her body absently settling over a hard ridge of heat snapped every last sense to the sensation.

She heard his long low groan echo her own as her hands gripped his shoulders, holding on for dear life as her body exploded in scintillating fireworks like a Forth of July grand finale, their drumfire muted like a smothered 808 bass. She realized it was the beat of her heart.

Jacob could feel it pounding frantically opposite his own as his hands came up clasp that full perfect ass with rapturous gusto.

Holy fuck, he was going to explode. The warm silken give of her stomach against his burning dick was simply more than he could handle.

But he had to.

Even if he was already weary and worn from fighting this invisible war. Every time she touched him, his wolf howled through his bones with dark erotic imagery that was exactly not the way her first time should be. Or his. He had to stay in control. If he fucked this up, he'd never forgive himself.

But Bella wasn't helping. Not one fucking bit.

Her hips undulated over him like a sensuous summer swell - testing, feeling.

Jacob's eyes popped open to find sloe-eyes watching him from under half-mast lids and her mouth quirking sly. So fucking edible.

Holding his gaze, she tipped her head down and pressed strawberries to his lips and then pulled back her breath hitching over his skin. His wolf growled low in his gut in approval as Jacob grasped those hips and pressed into them with a rolling thrust.

Without a word, his hands slipped up her back to her head, pulling her back down to a mouth that was hot and open. With insistent pressure he smothered her gasp in a sweltering kiss that sizzled with his breath between his teeth.

Bella's surprise was instantly melted, the glowing embers in her belly rising with licking flames. She groaned in shameless pleasure as his hips started moving under the pressure of his palm over her tailbone, bringing his body's prod up between her legs again. She desperately tried to scoot her body down to meet him, cursing the disparity in their size.

That hand then slipped possessively up to the small of her back and he was fluidly turning them over, clasping her into the frenetic massage of his mouth with a palm at the back of her head. Holding her firmly to his chest he slowly lowered her to the mattress while Bella desperately gulped down those kisses and suckled fervently at that twisting velvet tongue. He was trying to spare the bruising on her back, some part of her anesthetized brain realized, as her arms entwined around his neck covetously.

And then he was pressing her down.

Jacob felt like he was trying to push back a tidal wave. The rushing rapids of sheer lust took his breath away. He gasped frantically from her ardent kisses, borrowing her breath in attempt to resuscitate sanity. But it only fanned the flames higher.

He tore his mouth away, sucking a jagged breath through his nose in a desperate last ditch effort to gain control.

But he'd underestimated... many things.

The feel of her, vulnerable and receptive, beneath him - the way her mouth followed his flight pressing to the soft flesh under his chin with urgent little grunts of demand - awakened the deepest instinct in all parts of him.

Mine.

He pushed her roughly back to the bed, absorbing the force with his palm as his mouth ardently nipped at her jaw in dominion, laving away the pinch with apologetic tongue. Bella gasped in his arms, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she tipped her head instinctively into the slow steady descent of his mouth.

To the tender hollow under her ear.

To her skipping pulse.

His mouth was drawn like a magnet to that sweet spot on her neck that called to him like a siren.

The wolf was pushing, but not the usual way. He wasn't railing against the restraints of dominion, but adding fuel to the fire of the man's own burning need: the longing of his soul which had hungered for completion for far too long, the yearning of his heart which had ripened over 17 years to bursting crescendo, and his libidinous body weeping for release.

Even the part of him that was stalwart Alpha was roused. That taciturn, calculated anchor was dragging him down into the delirious depths with imperious demand. Up until now that part of him at least had - as he did with his own charges - stood dispassionately aside, curbing intervention, as long as the man was on the right path. While he waited for that war between instinct and heart to settle.

But now he'd joined the front lines again because that war was settling alright... along with the first knee between her thighs.

His hot fervent mouth had latched over a tendon that had set Bella's world on fire and her legs spread encouragingly as her body bloomed with need. Her hands were digging frantically into those straining shoulders, begging him closer. She needed to feel that weight, that strength, that bulk ...to contain her so she didn't fly apart at the seams.

"Jake," she gasped

His mouth left her neck to answer, covering her plea with hot demand. His kisses were hungry and wanting, peeling back her lips with the click of teeth and siphoning a guttural groan into the roof of her mouth.

And then - finally - his big body was pressing her down into the mattress again. She gasped, yanking his breath into her lungs, as she instinctively arched up to meet him.

He pinned her down.

"Mine."

The word was cut from a dark pepper growl and stitched into her mouth, but this time Bella wasn't afraid. The edict awakened a deep and recondite yearning. She wanted to be his, she wanted him to be hers. It was the most natural thing in the world - as unremarkable as the next breath.

"Mine," she answered in a mumble rolled into his lips.

She felt his wolf's scintillating purr of approval shiver down his body against her.

Holy fuck she felt amazing.

Small, trembling beneath him with anticipation, she'd wrapped her heels around his thighs in an avid embrace. His hand slipped out from under hips, the mattress now doing their work, and smoothed it possessively up her side in the trench between his body and the bed. It joined the other one, tangling in her hair and holding her with a gentle insistence under his insatiable ravaging mouth. But she was right there with him, swallowing his gluttony and tattooing her pleasure into his shoulders with fervent nails.

Hips ground his desire into the mattress, the tip of his aching cock jutting against the apex of her thighs and drawing a moan with each press. She was so small that with her eye level as she was, the distance was a blessed prophylactic between simply losing it and plunging into that heat.

And he needed to take care of her first.

Unable to pull his mouth away, he dragged his open mouth over her cheek in a primal formless caress and then worshiped that graceful column of her neck again as she pushed it needily into his mouth. The latent primal instinct to bite-restrain-fuck made his mouth water, balls burn, and his hips curve up dangerously, the throbbing tip of his erection dipping between her folds.

Bella's low keening moan brought him back to tenuous sanity.

Not yet! Oh fuck, keep it together, Black.

His lips popped open along with his eyes, glancing up to her face.

It was a mistake.

Heavy lids laid over rolling eyes and her mouth sensually lax, her pink quivering tongue was indolently caressing her lower lip in the most erotic expression he'd ever seen. The wolf viciously bucked against his restraint with its imperative demand; his mate was ripe, ready, wanting.

Jacob gulped, crashing his lips back to her collarbone in a desperate appeal for distraction as he scooted his body down the bed and out of the danger zone.

Breasts, think about her breasts.

His arms dragged carefully from under her abused shoulders, molding to that delicate ribcage as his mouth massaged over creamy skin, grasping at sanity. The soft pert swells instantly captured the animal's frenzied focus and it pounced on an erect rosebud nipple.

Bella cried out under him, arching against his firm embrace as her hands fisted in his hair.

And again sentience snapped his eyes open to the sight of her pleasure, its overflow in panting over passion-rosy lips. Growling low in his gut, he fought the beast back as he attentively devoured with tenderness, rolling her straining nipple over his tongue while she writhed in his firm grip and pulled feverishly at his hair.

And then he took the other one.

His breath was coming in harsh pants whose steam condensed over her skin making chillbumps raise like rain. He licked and laved between the peaks of her breasts, hungrily collecting the little beads of perspiration like powdered sugar. She tasted so fucking good - literally just how her arousal scented; rich cream and wildflower honey spiced with seductive flowering ginger.

It was driving him mad.

And pulling him compulsively toward the ground zero where that fragrance began. He could feel how wet she was against his stomach and his every sense was focused like a laser beam on that one heated spot. With herculean restraint, he forced himself to take his time, kissing along the line of her ribcage, lathering the smooth flat expanse of her stomach with his tongue. Greedy hands slipped down to the swell of her hips and, with a little hungry nip at a protruding hipbone, he drew back to examine his treasure.

"Jake!" Bella shrieked, tugging at his hair in a different sort of way.

The distress in her tone was the only thing that could have pried his eyes away from that delectable nest of glistening auburn curls.

Head jerked off the mattress, her impassioned blush had deepened to scarlet and she was staring at him with wide-eyed mortification. She'd finally extricated herself enough from the thrall of passion to divine his intentions - and she was embarrassed and uncertain.

But Jacob was losing his mind.

"Please," he begged - only a choke in the back of his throat. With a desperate furrow of his brow, he scooted up a little farther softening his grip and planting a tense line of cajoling kisses over her stomach.

His wolf didn't understand and was impelling him just to take. While Jacob understood that little OCD streak of hers - on top of this all being so new - he was sorely tempted to take the beast's advice. She smelled that fucking good.

He must have truly looked as pitiful as he felt because she frowned, releasing his hair and propping herself up on her elbows. "Jake, it's -.." she began with squinted excuses.

"Just one taste," he interrupted, sounding like he'd been smoking a pack a day for years. "The wolf-..." he swallowed, wincing at the animal's impatient swipe. "Please."

Bella blinked at him a moment, several emotions flitting across her face that he didn't have the presence to understand because her body made a decision. As she slowly lowered herself back to the bed, Jacob solicitously rubbed his nose back and forth across her abdomen as he watched her lay her head back down.

And then his attention snapped back to that tantalizing heat pressed into his chest. He scooted back down the bed slowly - trying not to spook her - as he trailed kisses oh, so casually over that white chocolate silk while his hands sneakily curled around her thighs to hold his prey. His big body was hanging off the end of the bed as he drew back and examined that nest of curls beaded with luscious pearls of want.

"Mmm," he hummed indolently, leaning in to rub his nose over that exquisite scent, marking his skin and wishing it were permanent. He fact that Bella was tense and twitching didn't even register in his fevered brain as 300% of his attention focused along with tongue on parting those swollen lips.

That fucking taste.

Ripened female, ready mate... liquid fucking ecstasy.

It singed every synapse as his tongue dove deep and struck gold in slippery silk. His hands held her writhing hips with incidental strength as he stroked up the lush sleek folds of her body to a smooth little pearl. His tongue circled it like predator and then drew it into his mouth.

Bella's body rose like the tide with a throaty cry that could bring down the stars, and Jacob's eyes darted up from chestnut curls to see her arching ardently on the bed.

Ho. Lee. Fuck.

His engorged cock was weeping it wanted to be in that so bad and - as sick as the rest of this - he needed every drop of his seed planted in her body. A resonant growl rose up in his gut as simultaneously reached up to slip his arms under her shoulders and pushed off the floor over her writhing torso.

His body found hers with exacting aim.

Only her shriek and the crash of his head against her headboard stopped him from sheathing himself to the hilt.

Jacob froze, panting like a racehorse with the effort, while the beast snarled through his bones.

It was the shock really.

The delirious haze of rapture effortlessly stoked by Jacob's tongue had been impaled on his abrupt movement. Gasping, Bella's hands reached up behind his straining back, tentatively surveying the quivering topography and lay of the land. Between her legs was the most delectable heady ache - right in the exact spot she'd been craving. Just a little hot smooth piece of him was pressing at her yearning entrance.

And oh my freaking God, she wanted more.

Her legs climbed his thighs to wrap around his tight butt on her body's quest just for that and she heard him strain air between his teeth. His chest was pounding with the rhythm of his breath against hers as he stayed, immobile and motionless, above her, leaving her teetering on the edge of erotic frustration.

He was fighting, and the herky-jerky pace was simply killing her. She picked her head up and pressed her lips to his sternum in a shredded velvet plea.

"Jacob," she gasped into the hollow of his throat, wishing she weren't so small, he so big, that she was stuck in the grotto of his raging pulse and could see his...

"I need to see your eyes," his guttural words were barely intelligible and abruptly he was pulling her body off the mattress.

At the head-spinning movement Bella squeaked, her hands snapping up to his shoulders. She sought his face as he scooted across the bed with her body held facilely in one arm: it was stoic and intense - a steel shutter over holocaust heat.

She shivered involuntarily as he hung his feet over the side of the mattress. But his hands were tender - so very cherishing and tender - as they resituated her in his lap.

She wrapped her ankles loosely around his butt -trying to ignore that hot hard press into her stomach between them - as she took stock. At least now she could see what the heck was going on.

"Hey," she whispered, bringing a hand around to stroke his cheek. "You okay?"

He nodded once curtly as his hands slipped around to rest on her waist. Her brow dipped as her gaze darted between his eyes - they were flickering with yellow like a bad incandescent bulb. She brought her other hand up to cup his cheeks between both palms as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his with balmy caring.

He sucked in a breath and pulled back, his chest still heaving.

"I love you, Jacob," she stated, simple, sure and true. "And that felt so good."

His nostrils flared as he searched her face. "I don't wanna hurt you," he choked.

Bella smiled sadly as she stroked his cheek. "I think part of it always does the first time, right?" she soothed. "But so far so good. I mean, soooo good," she proffered a playful smile.

He blinked several times over those wild flickering eyes darting over her face like fireflies as his breath continued to hitch in uneven rasps.

"Jake," she called him back to her. "Stop fighting," she cupped her hands soundly at his jaw, staring deep into those conflicted eyes. "I love you," she shook his head gently with her conviction. "Man, wolf, Alpha... I love all of you. I want all of you."

His rasping breath stuttered as his body jerked under her - it was just a subtle hitch that felt like his skeleton had been yanked under his flesh. Concern furrowing her brow, she watched his eyes blinking rapidly like a hummingbird's wing until finally they snapped shut like a steel door.

"Jake?" she whispered worriedly, gentling her grip and smoothing her hands over his cheeks. "Jacob?"

His face was as utterly unmoving as his body... even his breath had stilled in his chest. It scared her something fierce.

She smoothed both hands over his hair, anxiety rising in her throat.

"Jacob Ephraim Black!"

Those eyes popped open, instantly sharp and focused in her own.

Bella sucked in a breath as her gaze paced between his.

His eyes were different.

Dark and fathomless, plummeting into the eternity of soul but luminescent with sparks of flame. Like a midnight sky streaked with lightning.

Her hands fell away from him numbly, frightened.

Without an expression or word, he drew in a long clear breath through his nose as his shoulders rose along with it, settling back. Those intense eyes blinked once and started a circuit of her face, softening infinitesimally.

"Bella." Her name was no more than the a breath in the roof of his mouth.

"Jake?" she whispered, her hands again slipping up to his chest. She could feel his heart, pounding under her fingers in a slow, steady beat as his chest rose and fell with deep clear breaths.

Suddenly she understood.

"You're all there?" she ventured quietly.

His eyes snapped back to hers with a cagey alertness. "Yes."

The single word was deep, sonorous. Like the times she'd heard him speak to his Pack.

"Good," she whispered. A hesitant smile curved her lips as she rubbed her palm slowly over that stalwart heart.

"It feels..." he left the sentence dangling into the unfathomable, but those full sensuous lips subtly curved.

Bella's smile grew roots and she leaned up to kiss his lips.

He met her halfway with a giving mouth. Soft lips lead her own in a gentle but firm dance, neither pushing nor hesitating, just feeling and inflating her heart with each caress. Warm hands ghosted up her back, gathering her hair in his palms like water as he cupped the back of her head and tipped his face to the other side, suckling her sighs over his lips.

It was a heady kiss.

A tender kiss.

It's intimacy was almost painful in its intensity like the friction between their two souls.

His palms slipped around to her jaw and pulled her away with the soft moist smack of clinging skin.

"Breathe," he commanded in that deep easy voice, but his lips flirted with a dappled smile.

Immediately she gasped breath into lungs she realized were burning.

Jacob's eyes had returned to heated intensity as he stroked his fingers over her cheek.

"You're beautiful," he stated in a way that seemed not complimentary but simply the God's honest truth. "You're mine."

Her eyes snapped to his.

"I need you," he pronounced in that same calm easy bass, his face intense and unapologetic.

Bella licked her lips. "I need you too," she whispered.

His gaze rested in one eye and then moved to the other, his hands slipping away from her face. One fell to cover hers still resting over his heart and encircled it warmth, pulling it up to his lips. He slowly pressed a delicate kiss on three of her fingers as he watched her for a moment over her hand.

And then he lowered her it to his lap.

Bella gasped, at the feel of velvet over heated steel as her hand wrapped around his length. She still hadn't seen his body - and had resisted the impulse to sneak a peek at the hot press into her stomach when the opportunity arose, for obvious reasons - but now her eyes eagerly took their chance.

She leaned back a little as her attention snapped to the erotic strength encircled by her hand. The velvet shaft peaked in a smooth bulbous tip and still glistened with her body's own juices. Heat exploded in her belly as she brought her other hand to curiously smear the beaded moisture over steely satin

She heard Jacob hiss as his hands gripped her hips and his forehead slowly fell down to her shoulder.

Bella leaned her cheek against his temple as her hand caressed gently up and down his length, tentatively exploring that silken skin with a feather touch. It was such an intimate experience - holding this part of him while she listened to his breath hitch against her cheek - that her heart felt like it was expanding in her chest even as the apex of her own thighs grew hot and heavy.

It must be the same for him too, because as she watched, his erection seemed to impossibly grow in her hand and she blinked out of her erotic thrall. Come to think of it, it actually didn't look very comfortable - the tip looked bruised and swollen. And it was then that she really consciously processed that this was what was going to be thrust between her legs.

She stopped her delicate strokes as she picked her head up, cocking it to the other side as considered him and Jacob slowly straightened. She could feel his eyes on her.

But oh, God, how was that going to fit?

Like everything else on him, Jacob was bigger than Paul - the glimpse of him the other night being the only thing close to experience she had - and even then, the fleeting thought had passed her mind. Here, Jacob's body stood glorious and proud between them, stretching past her navel.

Her eyes darted up to his reflexively.

Jacob was watching her carefully with possessive eyes.

"You were made for me," he whispered softly, cannily answering her private question, as his hands smoothed up to her waist.

Bella's hands gently released him, running her palms over his chest as she considered that a moment. "I'm not scared," she murmured in response, surprised to find it was true once she thought about it. Over a mere week she'd gone searching for her lost best friend and found her soulmate, seen the boys she'd grown up with as well as herself radically transform, faced imperious old men and egomaniacal bloodthirsty monsters and almost lost it all. Insecurities about sex - which women had been having since the beginning of time - just didn't register on this new scale.

"But," she arched a brow as her lips hitched up on one side. Something in her wanted to know if she could still tease with this new unified Jacob. "I'm six months older, so - technically - you were made for me."

That intimidating intensity seamlessly blossomed in a broad sunny smile that somehow looked deliciously organic in that virility. It was the same sun and the same smile, but it looked different. Deeper? Perhaps it was because, framed as it was by the sobriety of lost innocence, it shone all the brighter: a man who'd been through hell and seen it all but still chose to love with abandon.

All Bella really knew was that it was comforting.

"Y'see, Bells," he grinned. "It's jus' that I'm a gentleman, so I let you go first."

Bella gave him a theatrically dubious nod and then smirked. "I thought you were a 'mean, scary, kick-ass wolf,'" she quote him, dredging up memories of that 7th grade bonfire.

His eyes sparkled with recognition. "That too," he winked.

Bella giggled, her joy bubbling over as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. With a soft hum, the curve his mouth melted against hers, letting her lead as his hands idly circled her waist, brushing his fingers over her spine.

He broke the kiss when she was breathless, and leaned his head against hers for a moment. "We were waiting for you for a long time, Bella," he whispered, the words making her rolling breath catch.

She picked her head up and stared back into those deep, unfathomable eyes.

"We were waiting to come and find you," he continued, seeming to gingerly pluck the words from his mind like he was fumbling with an explanation for something inexplicable. She supposed he was.

"Now I get it, Bells."

Because he did.

Jacob was power, passion and heart all inextricably rolled into a burning mandate: to lead and protect. Living within the confines of any one of those facets of himself - or alternately denying them - made him unbalanced and weak. But woven together he could be nearly unstoppable.

Bella had taught him that.

Her profession of love - when he was at his breaking point- had been the last push and binding needed to fuse all three warring factions of himself together.

For her.

She was the missing piece he'd been searching for somehow before the beginning of his mortal life - he could feel that truth deep in his being. She was the manifest craving of his spirit to be whole. With a ponderous destiny on his shoulders, she was his partner: his strength, his counsel, his solace, his ballast in this world.

As he was for her.

In other words, a gift. An imprint was a priceless gift.

Finally he got it.

Funny thing was, so did she.

She leaned up and pressed her lips to his again. "Jacob," she murmured with a wet smack.

"Ephraim." Kiss.

"Black," her lips melted against his, calling to all three facets of his being that she'd bound together with her love.

"God, I love you," he proclaimed in a rush of breath as his hand slipped up to the back of her head and pressed her passionately into that truth. She met his ardor head-on with a crisp demanding mouth that tasted of honeyed promises and soulful demand.

There was nothing left between them; no boundary or clammy membrane of fear and the intimacy of that kiss was staggering.

Jacob groaned in deep in his throat as his forearm wrapped under her ass and pulled her to his body, pressing her into his need. While her arms wrapped passionately around his neck and his hand fisted in her hair, he lifted her body, rubbing his burning desire along the groove of slick satin heat. She made the most gratifying little grunts in the back of her throat as her heels pressed against his tailbone encouragingly.

But this time there was none of the desperation of fear and uncertainty behind their movements, just the slow, patient, steady march toward completion.

Jacob took his time, stroking her body up and down his with an effortless arm while he explored her mouth with savoring tongue. He then nipped over her jaw to suckle on her pulse. Bella threw her head to the side with a sexy moan while she raked her fingernails over his shoulders with passion that drove him wild. Each minute movement, each touch of nail and skin, each taste and sound stoked a blessed blistering heat in his balls.

"Jake, please," she gasped to the sky as he laved her collarbone with a worshipful tongue.

Jacob's lips curved against that creamy silk; her body was burning as much as his.

A low growl percolated in his chest as his hand released her hair, to slip down between her shoulder blades and steady her as he lifted her with his forearm. He captured a breast in fervid lips and suckled hard, relishing the way she arched and squirmed in his arms with a whimpered cry.

His body vibrated in a guttural answering snarl as he pounced on the other straining nipple - he was all about fair after all.

"Jake!" Bella shrieked, her body shuddering in his hands like any minute she would crumble.

He held her together with strong hands, as he tipped his face up to lap up the delectable column of her neck repentantly.

"Shh," he crooned under chin while her breath heaved in her chest. "Here we go, honey."

He drew in a long cooling breath over the sound of her quavering gasps and slowly lowered her down his body. His need found hers impeccably and he moaned at the feel of her tight heat slipping over the head of aching dick.

He paused, gathering his forbearance through his body's impulse to thrust all the way home. But he'd never hurt her; there was no other moment when that truth was more evident.

Biting his lip in a sharp reminder, his eyes popped open. Bella's head was thrown back and she was panting breathlessly to the ceiling.

"Look at me," he whispered. It was a cashmere command that instantly had her face tipping back down. Hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, and her eyes rolling in her head - drunk with ardor - she was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"S'okay?" he murmured, licking over the seam of those swollen lips. She tipped her head to the side capturing his tongue and suckling hungrily.

He took that as a yes.

While his mouth molded to hers, he slowly, patiently, worked her body down over his shaft, holding her into the little twitches of his hips with a strong steady arm.

The heat and pressure ... there were just no words.

Jacob broke the kiss with a growling gasp, their wild eyes finding each other and echoing the shock of such pleasure as he slowly pumped his body further into hers.

Until he reached resistance.

Bella's nails dug into his shoulders as she whimpered and Jacob blinked back to concerned focus. Her eyes were liquid and her nostrils were flared and quivering in unconscious sympathy with the body trembling in his arms.

And Jacob stopped.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers in a tender, comforting kiss as the power of his inheritance welled up around them, swaddling her overwhelm in protective heat.

Dark endless eyes were locked in his as he slowly pulled her up his erection and then incrementally pushed her back down until he reached that ceiling.

Again and again, sumptuous and slow, each stroke of her flesh scalding his dick with ecstasy.

"Bella," he panted breathlessly, searching for permission.

She gave it to him a rasp. "Do it."

Staring into those yawning pupils, Jacob swallowed as he lifted her off of his body with an arm whose muscles were jerking and trembling with want.

And then pulled her back down at the same time he jerked his hips up into the marrow of her being, smothering her soft cry with heated power and hungry lips.

With that soft pop of flesh. lupine triumph howled through his bones and exited in a throaty groan as he tipped his head back into the crushing euphoria. Gasping cool air desperately into the inferno raging within him, he tried to fish sentience out of the fires of rapture. Seated fully on his throbbing body, the haven of her tight wet heat was indescribable heaven.

But concern for her had his face tipping back down, his eyes blinking back into the intensity between them. She was clasped fervently to his chest, her forehead pressed into his shoulder and fingers digging soundly into his biceps.

"Bells," he worried, cocking his head to see her face. She was panting against him, little bursts of warm breath billowing over his skin.

He heard her thick swallow as she picked her head up. Her eyes were shining but floating in her head and her lips curved in an intoxicated novocaine smile.

She leaned up and dissolved his worry with a lazy kiss and breathed her edict into his mouth, "More."

Because she needed it.

He'd skewered her body right down the middle of her craving, razing emotional and physical barriers in one fluent thrust. Filling her cavernous need with stretching heat and inflating her heart with wonder. Jacob was inside her in the most intimate of ways, quenching a pining hunger she hadn't really understood.

Until now.

Now... even more insistent than her body aching in its submission to his girth, was the need for friction. It was like taking a bite of the most delectable dessert and resisting the urge to swallow.

He gulped down her plaintive kiss even as he lifted her hips again with that trembling muscled arm and Bella hissed through her teeth, throwing her head back in throes of that satisfying drag over the burning ache of her body. He pulled her all the way up that long hardened heat and the tugged her back down, his feral growl echoing her groan of rapture.

And again... slow, steady, perfect.

He shifted beneath her and her eyes popped open to see him scooting up toward the head of the bed, his eyes locked on hers with hunger. She heard the scrape wood on wood as his foot pushed her nightstand out of the way and his hand left her back to grip the post of her headboard.

His face was intense, feral, and darkly sexy as his pearly teeth bit into that full lower lip. Bracing himself by one hand on her headboard, he held her up and began thrusting his hips up into her body while Bella gripped his shoulders and tried to hold his burning eyes.

From that previous slow sultry pace his movements became more fervent and demanding, stoking unnamable sensations through her body that exited her lips in the only word that came close:

"Jacob," she gasped, collapsing forward with a petitioning mouth.

Jacob smothered her cry with a searing kiss.

Each plunge of his body fanned the flames ever higher. It was a beautiful torture and every breath of it was glorious.

Holy fuck, he was burning alive.

And she was right there with him.

Her lips ravenously demanded more, effortlessly consuming the breadth of his passion and pushing him faster with gasps of his name. Her soft breasts jiggling against his chest, her ass bouncing on his arm, her nails tattooing her desires into his shoulders, it was driving him fucking bat-shit crazy.

Her eyes had rolled back in her head long ago, and Jacob gave in to the demands of primal instinct. In a lithe lightning movement, he was turning them back onto the bed. Bella gasped her approval in his neck and wrapped those sexy legs tighter around his waist.

A feral growl of anticipation boiled in his gut as he settled her back on the bed looping his arms under her shoulder blades and clasping her shoulders. Dragging his lips over her temple, he pressed her body down.

"God, don't stop!" Her muffled moan into his skin and the way her hips wiggled, trying desperately to recreate that narcotic friction undid him. She wanted more... needed it.

Some lingering thread of restraint viscerally popped and fluttered free and his hips started pumping in earnest as he held her in firm arms against each stroke to spare her back.

"Fuck," he gasped into the unbearable pleasure as his hips thrust into that tight slippery heat in movements that were as innate and primal as the beat of his heart and, at the moment, infinitely more vital.

Bella wrapped her legs tighter, arching up against his body as he pumped into the crescendo of her delirious cries. The heat and pressure was building and building, his movements stuttering under the crushing weight.

Bella toppled over the edge first, smothering her gasping cry in his neck as her body convulsed around him, shucking him quickly after. His seed exploded in heat as he slammed into her body, pushing it deeply into her womb as a tsunami of ecstasy surged over him. He gave it voice tipping his head back with a primal roar.

In the distance it was eerily answered by the threaded chorus of howls. His Pack.

But the sensations didn't stop, if anything they continued escalating.

Wave after wave of pleasure thrashed him, dragging him along in a suffocating undertow until he was choking and rolling over onto his back.

"Bella," he croaked, as the crushing tide of power coursed over him.

Mouth open, she was gasping on his chest, her wild eyes frantically seeking his. His hands came up to cup her jaw and steady her wobbling head. "J-Jake...so much," she wheezed over quivering lips. "It's-..."

Her eyes rolled under her fluttering lids and her head went limp in his hands.

Snapping his burning eyes closed, he lowered her to his chest and held her over his racing his heart.

They'd never said it was like this.

He gritted his teeth as the violent rapids of pleasure and power churned over him, feeling like they were sloughing him down to his soul's quick. It was magic, some lingering sentience realized, as he clasped his unconscious imprint protectively to his heaving chest.

Stop fighting, he heard her voice whisper in his head - memory or more magic, he didn't care. Because it was Bella's voice and she'd always lead him true.

And so he did.

As his Pack's lupine cries continued to climb the fledgling day, Jacob's lips popped open in a gasp as he arched into that obliterating heat …

...and oblivion.

'

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