A/N: Back from the holiday break :)
(Although sadly there's still time 'til TV show are back, I need my CXG fix!)

For those who are interested, I published a little Christmas piece in Corollary-verse, 2023. It's called "Mommy, we need to talk".

Thanks to all who read, reviewed, follow, favorited. I love reading whatever you have in mind, so even if it's two words I would be grateful if you go ahead and write it :) Special thanks to my great beta joyteach and this time, thanks to Tensor as well, who answered some question I had about the American term for something here.

2019 is coming in just a few days, so happy new year everybody!

The Big Bang Theory does not belong to me. If it did, I would be living in a house that has windows to block the terrible music my negihbors are currently playing. Ugh. I only own my OCs, including, to some extent, this story's Halley and Michael.

Chapter 14: Take a shot

August, 2031.

[Howard.]

I don't know what my wife was thinking, when she 'suggested' that I go on a fishing trip with her dad. She found out our last 'fishing trip', so many years ago, was actually a casino one, and her response was to make us go again. I'm sorry, 'suggest'.

Mike and I, let's just say we don't make 'quite a pair'. The only pair we could make is a Tom and Jerry one, only that show would be over in a minute, that's how long it would take him to destroy me.

He's a tall, massive ex-cop who maintained his muscles despite his age, and remained as tough as he was the day I met him. He can shoot a moving target with his eyes closed and make people shiver with a single grunt. One time, he was too tired to open a can of beer, so he crushed it with his bare hands.

I'm… me.

It's not that I didn't try. I did my jokes, my magic, I tried joining-in his complaints. Sometimes it seemed to work, for a bit, but for the most part it just strengthened his disdain for me. How did Halley put this? "It's like he thinks of you as a Muppet. With a hint of a cartoon duck."

So I've given up on trying to get along with him. He's a good grandpa, he loves the kids, and Bernie, and they love him. So, Mike and I make sure that one of them is there with us all the time. I think you can count this as something we do together, but Bernie disagrees.

At least she let me invite our friends, and make it a group thing. She was worried her dad wouldn't like that, but, even though he tried to hide it, he sounded relieved.

That is how our entire gang, and Bernie's parents, ended up going on a fishing weekend. And I ended up going to Comic-Con as Aquaman.

After putting our luggage in our family's cabin, I went out and looked around. It was a very nice place, even beautiful. It was a big resort, with vast green areas. Miles and miles of grass and trees, some trails, lots of small cabins, and of course, the water.

I was walking around, mindlessly following the trails, getting closer to the water, when I turned my head and saw my father-in-law right in front of me.

"Oh, hi there," I said awkwardly.

"Hey," he said, not too happy about it.

Then we were both quiet for a minute. I nodded slowly, he scratched his head.

"So… Here we are, right next to the boats, huh?" I finally noted.

"Yeah… Right at the spot," he said.

"But we don't have to… I mean, we can, but…"

"Yeah…"

"We have enough time…"

"Yeah."

"And, we just got here, right? You know what," I pretended to figure out, "I bet Bernadette needs my help getting settled in the cabin…" Actually, she asked for my help, but I pretended not to hear and told her I was going to explore the area. But next to fishing with her dad, putting some clothes in the closet seemed like a hoot and a half.

"Yes, that sounds important," Mike nodded.

We each turned around swiftly, each going back the way he came.

On my way back, I saw the Koothrappalis starting to meditate on a blanket on the grass. Well, Anaya meditated. Kotie opened an eye about a minute in. Seeing that her mom had her eyes closed, she opened both eyes and quietly reached for her dad's pocket. Feeling this, he took his phone out of his pocket and let her take it, his eyes still closed. He hung in there for about a minute more, before he joined his daughter playing with his phone.

Coming back to the cabin, I found all the Hofstadter kids there, playing cards with Michael.

"Hey guys," I greeted everybody, and got five greets back, and a delayed, almost reflexive "hey" from Halley, who was in the kids' bedroom, probably glued to her phone.

"That was a rather short 'exploration of the area'…" Bernadette said, narrowing her eyes.

"I just came back to help you unpack," I said, innocently.

"That's so nice of you. And you came just in time, I just finished, so you could pack everything back and then unpack it, you know, because you want to help me so bad."

"Oh wow, I didn't imagine you'd already unpacked everything! If there ever are unpacking competitions, you'll be world champion!" I grinned, "And you did such a wonderful job here, it would be such a shame if I re-did it."

Bernie shook her head and smiled. "Well, there is something else you can do to help."

"Really? Great, great," I said through a smile, fearing where this was going.

"If you and my dad head out to fish right now, you could probably get enough fish for us for dinner, maybe even for lunch."

"Oh. Yeah, that's an idea," I said, thinking of a way to get out of it, "But, I'm just not so sure.. about the kids. The kids, they're not used to eating fish cooked right off the hook, they don't even eat that much fish as it is. And they're already in such a strange environment, I think we should take it easy, not overwhelm them. We have sandwiches for lunch, I bet the others have some stuff too, and we can order take-out for tonight. Let's just keep the fish for later, when we feel the kids are ready."

Bernie sighed, "Fine. You're lucky I don't like fish that much anyway."

"That's my girl," I said, putting my arm around her, smiling. "Hey, speaking of kids, why are all the Hofstadter ones here?" I asked.

"Riley said her parents told her to take her siblings with her to check our place. They said they had to do something 'adult-only' to get properly settled in their cabin," Bernie said, raising an eyebrow.

So, day one ended successfully for me. I managed to dodge the fishing, and I spent most of the day with Michael and Riley, flying the new drone I bought ("for Michael"). It was twice as fast as the previous line of drones for private use, the latest word in micro-engineering. Stephen insisted he was a part of it too, observing the whole thing from his room's window.

Things were less successful for Amy, who spent hours trying to convince Sheldon to come out of their cabin. Finally, a bird flew through the open door, making Sheldon come out screaming.

The next day, after breakfast, Sheldon was out and about. Tasked with watching his five-year-old, he had no choice. Lizzie was running around, enjoying everything she laid eyes on, while her father kept shouting for her to slow down, and complaining about everything he laid eyes on.

Looking around, I noticed Halley sitting by the water. But I'm not sure she even noticed that. I'd been watching her for several minutes, and not once had she raised her eyes from her phone. She wasn't even projecting the screen, just using the phone's physical one, so I could not see what she was texting. Teenagers.

Just as I turned to go back inside, I noticed Penny, Sophie and Max approaching the water.

"Maxi, please, slow down!" Penny called to her excited son, while practically dragging her fearful daughter.

As soon as Maxi came close to me I picked him up, "Hey there kiddo, how's it going?"

"We're going to the water!" he answered, excitedly.

"Thanks Howard," Penny said as she and Sophie reached us.

"At your service," I said, putting her son down.

"So, I see you're hanging out by the water, isn't that nice," Penny said, hinting me with her expression to play along, for Sophie's sake.

"Ohh yeah, I love the water," I lied, "When I was a kid, I used to go to swimming lessons every week, until my mom joined an adult class at the same hour." That, and my 'frantic fish out of water' swimming style wasn't acceptable anymore.

"Cool! Let's go swimming!" Maxi said and was about to turn toward the water.

"No," Penny quickly said, "We said we were only going to put our feet in, remember? Just our feet."

"Which is enough for the fish to bite us," Sophie said, still clutching her mom's hand.

"Nobody's gonna bite you, Princess," Penny said calmly.

"And if they do, it won't hurt, it's like a tiny little pinch," I said.

That made Sophie tense up, and Penny give me a glare.

"So..Where's Leonard?" I tried to change the subject.

"He's taking a nap," Penny said, "he was a bit tired.. from all the walking."

"Nice," I said, knowing what really made him tired.

"Mommy! A boat!" Maxi shouted excitedly, pointing at a small fishing boat sailing into the deep waters.

"Oh look at them go! Makes you wanna go feel the water caressing your ankles, right?" Penny said with a smile, turning from Max to Sophie.

"Yeah!" Maxi cheered.

"Ankles?! We said only feet!" Sophie said, alarmed.

Penny continued, "Makes you wanna go feel the soft, soothing touch of the waters."

"I'm going!" the excited Max said, starting to walk toward the water.

"The COLD COLD waters!" Penny raised her voice, stopping Max in his tracks, "so cold, that if you go in too fast it will hurt."

"I'm going!" Sophie said, starting to walk toward the cabins.

Penny put her face in her hands, frustratedly.

"So I'm gonna go…" I said, "Good luck..."

Penny nodded.

I was approaching our cabin, when suddenly I heard Bernie, "Howie!"

I kept walking, pretending not to hear her.

"Howie!"

I thought I might just escape this.

"HOWIE!"

This I could not deny hearing, it made me jump in my place. "Yes, honey?" I asked, turning in the direction of her parents' cabin, which was right next to ours. She was sitting on a bench right outside of it with her mom. Seeing her mom go into the cabin as I approached, I did not like where this was going.

"How are you doing? You have taken so many walks, I haven't been able to keep track of you," Bernie asked, in her sweet voice.

"Yeah," I scratched my head nervously, smiling, "I was just connecting with mother nature. She's not as shiny and smooth as she's made to be in video games, you know, all photoshopped… But she's still beautiful, in a more natural way."

"Aha, aha," she nodded, not really listening. Then she took a quick glance at the door, a smile forming on her face, "And you know who also couldn't keep track of you?"

I saw her dad reluctantly coming out of the cabin, with her mom following behind. I knew it.

"Hi, Sir, Uh, Mike, how's it going?" I asked, awkwardly.

"Fine," he answered.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, we've got a hold of each other," I said, clasping my hands, preparing to leave.

"Mike," Bernie's mom said, in a gentle voice, but with a slightly warning tone, "we have come here for you two to go fishing together."

Bernie looked at me, smiling and nodding.

Mike looked at his wife for a few seconds, "Yes, yes we have."

That's when my saving bell came, in the form of my son. "Uncle Leonard!" I heard Michael call from behind me.

Turning around, I saw Leonard walking from his cabin toward the trail that led to the water, which was in our direction, and Michael coming out of our cabin.

"Hey Michael, something wrong?" Leonard asked, raising his voice, since he was still a bit far.

"No, I just wondered if you could give me advice on something…" Michael answered.

"Hey, did you hear that?" I said to my wife and in-laws, "seems like my son needs help! I'd better go to him."

"He asked Le-" Bernie started, but I cut her off, not willing to miss my chance of dodging hours of either highly uncomfortable silence or horrible embarrassment.

"Bernie, our son's in need," I said, in a serious tone, and turned around, walking to the bench next to our cabin, where Michael and Leonard were about to sit.

"I heard someone needs advice," I said, smiling, as I sat down by Michael's other side.

"Uhh, it's okay Dad, I'm gonna talk with Uncle Leonard," Michael said.

"The more the merrier! Wouldn't you like a piece of wisdom from your old man?" I asked, rhetorically.

"I just thought I'd talk to Uncle Leonard…" he said.

"And now you've got two for one," I said, "So, what's seems to be the problem?"

Michael looked at me for a moment, then looked down, "It's kinda..about girls," he said, seeming nervous.

"Girls? Then why didn't you ask me? No offense to your Uncle Leonard, but you know I'm your guy when it comes to the ladies. You know, I had a feeling you had some trouble there. You're 13 and still no girl news. And it's not like you don't know what to do, I've taught you the moves, you have it down, you're ready, and you're a basketball player!"

Michael's situation on the ladies front does baffle me. He's a great kid, he's not the short, boney nerd with orthodontic headgear that I was. He's supposed to do well, to get girls, and for real, not just a look under their shirts in exchange for homework.

Then Leonard started talking, "Well, each person has their own pace, there's no need to be ashamed of taking things-"

"Wait, are you having trouble choosing between the girls at school?" I asked Michael, "There are quite a few hotties in your grade…"

Leonard looked at me weirdly.

"From a kid's perspective!" I raised my hands defensively.

"It's not about choosing…" Michael said, "I mean, not about not knowing…" he sighed. "The thing is… What if.. What if she's too good for me? What if she's like, really awesome? I know I've got things going for me, I'm good at school and I'm tall enough, and I'm great at the 'Avengers 8.0' game, and I'm pretty funny, right?"

"And basketball," I added.

"And basketball. But I'm not.. I'm not like her. Like, she's really awesome. What if I ask her to be more.. to be romantic, and she turns me down?" Michael asked, very concerned.

"That's it?" I asked, smiling, relieved. "That's what got you upset? Of course you're gonna be turned down," I tapped his shoulder, "You're gonna be turned down a hundred million times."

"Gee, thanks," Michael frowned.

"Michael, that's the way it is. Even for you. You're gonna get turned down all the time, but you gotta keep trying. You gotta take a shot, at every one. Do you really think I would've gotten your mom if I had only taken shots at women I actually had chances with?!"

"Umm," Leonard meddled, "I think this is a very reasonable concern, Michael. There's always a risk. If you truly care about this girl, and it seems that you do, it may be worth that risk, more than you could ever imagine. But, you should think it over, very carefully."

Michael listened to Leonard and nodded. He was about to say something to him, but I had to stop it.

"And by the time you're finished thinking it over and over you'll be 70 and the girl's living in Florida with the guy who actually took a shot while you were working out 200 scenarios. You gotta act, take shots all the time, hit at every girl you want. If you're lucky, things will somehow, against all odds, go your way, and you'll get a girl you in no way deserve. If not, she'll just blow you off," I shrugged, "and that's 'end of story', you forget all about her and move on to the next girl."

Michael looked at me, very worried. He was about to say something, when suddenly we heard quick footsteps in the grass.

"Daddy!" Riley called, running straight to her dad's arms, with Stephen walking behind her.

"Hey Cub," Leonard said, smiling, and kissed her head as they hugged, "How was your little trip?" he asked, after she leaned back.

"It was great! I even got Tivo to look at the horse stable from a hundred feet away!" she answered.

"I was almost killed," Stephen, who was now in front of us, stated.

"He heard a horse snort," Riley explained.

"That snort was clearly directed at me. That horse did not appreciate my presence in its territory, and was sending me a warning. If we hadn't left immediately, he would have run straight through the fence and crushed me with his feet," Stephen insisted.

"So, about this girl thing," I said, trying to continue my conversation with my son, while the others were talking about Riley taking Stephen around the resort.

"Dad!" Michael scolded me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Not now," he said, signaling toward the others with his eyes.

"What? Are you embarrassed to talk about this in front of these two? It's just the punk and the.. Stephen. He wouldn't care, and she's a cool little dude," I said.

But this was it, Michael refused to keep talking about his girl issues, and joined the other conversation instead. I don't know what bothered him so much about what I told him. I hope he'll get over it, whatever it is.

And if my advice didn't help him, at least it ended up helping me. Seeing that I didn't have a choice when it came to my father-in-law, that I couldn't forget about him no matter how many times he turned me down, I decided to change my strategy. From now on, I decided, I'll just keeping taking my shots with him. One of these times I'll get it right. Right?

This one sure wasn't it. Bernadette and her mom finally got us to go fishing. Two hours of the most uncomfortable silence I've ever experienced, then horrible embarrassment when I felt the fish he caught were glaring at me and fell into the water, then another hour of this silence, and shaking from the cold.

Maybe 187th time's the charm.