Chapter 12

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO! I finally had a day away from… everything and business and so I can finally give my story it's reboot chapter! YAY! Thank you, those of you who reviewed the last notification. The words of encouragement were very inspiring and comforting. Here's to Guest for your understanding , terry0612 for looking forward to more from my story, and Snowlily246 who has been a wonderful reader and dare I say it…. I dare, friend from the very beginning!

NOTE: I'm going to use Genma since his storyline isn't really set until the Chunin exam comes around. DON'T GET MAD!

DISCLAIMER: I own Mira, Gray, and any unrecognizable characters you meet. I do noooooot own Naruto, despite my constant prayers.

Mira sat beneath a tree in the park. Twelve years old, she'd passed her test earlier that afternoon but she didn't feel like celebrating. Gray was still out on mission and she was feeling a bit alone. Kakashi wasn't around either and everyone else was busy celebrating with their family. Looking up at the sky she had her knees huddled to her. She wasn't particularly angry, just a little depressed. Gray had never missed an important moment like this but being an official Konoha ninja as he was it was bound to happen at some point much to Mira's despair.

Sighing Mira let her head fall forward onto her arms. The sky was perfectly clear that day and the sun was unable to warm her skin as she sat beneath the tree.

"What are you doing?" The all too familiar voice came, imposing on her quiet depression without worry.

"Go away I can't deal with your ultimately depressing presence right now" Mira snapped back thoughtlessly, she felt bad almost immediately afterwards though. "I didn't mean that."

"Yeah you did." Sasuke sat down beside her quietly.

"Mm, but not in that way, I wanted to be alone is all, you're not that depressing… I guess."

"Tch, what a way with words you have."

"I know right? I could really do something with this. Maybe go around to different villages inspiring them all with my words?"

"You would cause depression everywhere."

"Psh, you'd just miss me" Mira laughed at her own joke and even more so at the thought of Sasuke missing anyone let alone her. Sasuke didn't reply. Mira looked over at him wondering if he was simply so appalled he had fallen into speechlessness. But when she turned she saw him staring forward silently with a serious expression.

"Sasuke…" She trailed off uncertain of the serious atmosphere. Abruptly he stood up. "Where are you going?"

"Home" he said in his matter of fact voice. She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Alright, go on then" she muttered. He did. She stared at the space he had been standing long after he'd left it, somewhat shocked and yet not very surprised at all. She hadn't realized how lonely she was until she had participated in some human interaction… despite the seriously depressive tone of the whole thing. Chuckling to herself she shook her head feeling a little better any way.

Mira made her way through the town to the bookstore where she searched through all the latest books thoroughly reading each one. For once not one of the books struck her as all that interesting and a million thoughts continuously invaded her thoughts while she read the back covers of each one. What was Gray doing? Was it dangerous? And Kakashi, was he getting all smart and funny or was his serious face on? What was Gaara doing right now?

She was still. Gaara. It had been a long time since she had thought of him, not since two years ago. After she'd been dating Shikamaru for a while it was like he had faded from her life. There was the occasional curiosity but after Shikamaru had come into her life it was like she had finally given herself the right to let it go… but what was this? It felt so sudden, and out of the blue for some reason. Shaking her head she started moving about again but it was sluggish, she felt caged all over again as the old questions rushed back into her mind, repeating themselves loudly. Slowly she left the store and began meandering about the town lost in a world of thoughts, stumbling about distressed and a little out of it. So out of it she didn't even notice Shikamaru and his parents when she passed by them; nor did she notice him following her for the next hours until it grew dark out.

Finally Shikamaru couldn't bear to watch it any longer. He'd spent all day thinking about how wonderful they're relationship was but right now she had on an expression he despised. It was thing that could make him unable to even look at her without his heart shattering because it meant she was thinking about him. It wasn't often that she wore it but when she did, he hated those times the most. He preferred when she laughed, or when she would give him that adorably confused expression when he tried to teach her chess, or even more so when she would give him that pouty face whenever he said something she wanted to do was too troublesome.

Grabbing her arm he whirled her around. She looked startled and still very out of it, like someone just returning to their senses after having been abruptly awoken from a deep sleep. He felt a pang of displeasure at her lost expression; he couldn't understand even now how this one person had come to be so impactful that she became practically lifeless when it came to him. It worried him, scared him. What was most frightening was that he didn't know what he was supposed to do about it. How was he supposed to help her? He couldn't just tell her to forget about him.

"Sh-Shikamaru…" She said in this small and fragile voice. He looked at her with a sad expression before pulling her closer without a word. There was nothing he could say. After a moment she pushed away from him enough to look into his eyes but not pull out of his arms.

"What is it?"

"….A congratulatory hug. We passed!" He told her somewhat monotonously. She raised an eyebrow and gave him a half smile. He shrugged. Her eyes softened and she grabbed his hand.

"Then let's go celebrate, how does that sound?"

"Troublesome… but nice" He told her, she smiled and they began making their way back through town.

Mira wouldn't ever say it but part of her mind was still thinking about Gaara. She didn't know why but it was just a total attack on her mind. Nothing could stop it she felt. But even so she enjoyed her time with him and he walked her home after dinner at the ramen counter.

"I can't believe schools over" Mira said leaning on the door.

"I don't think it is, it's more like were graduating to the next level of school, you know."

"Mm, that's true. I'm worried I hear a lot of people flunk out during the first session with their trainer."

"Especially Kakashi's, but you shouldn't be worried; your dad trained you for a long time. You graduated right up at the top with Sasuke and Sakura."

"Yeah I know. I still worry."

"I know you do, but really is there anything you don't worry about?"

"Mmmm, being home alone?"

"I don't particularly worry about you being home alone either though."

"Shouldn't you though? Your my boyfriend shouldn't you be constantly worrying over my safety?" She asked pushing off the door and leaning in close to him curiously. Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow and leaned forward so they were nose to nose.

"Too-"Shikamaru began.

"Troublesome" She cut him off. She rolled her eyes and leant back against the door. "I gotta get inside and get some rest there's a lot going on tomorrow." Shikamaru nodded and pecked her cheek.

"Night" he said. She smiled and made her way inside. That night she didn't sleep a wink. She needed a distraction. But for once she didn't have a thing to distract herself with.

Leaving her bed she went on a mini tour of the house for no particular reason before she found herself in the living room with a pen in hand and paper, her silk night dress bunching up a bit as she leaned forward her elbows pressing into her thighs.

Gaara,

It's been a long time…. I miss you. I don't think you miss me though. I don't really know what to say, I just wish I could say something anything…I wish I could SAY it, I hate writing you letters you will never see. I hate feeling like I do. I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I am living such an amazing life and you're not, but now there's more to it, Shikamaru who I don't deserve, I can't even be fully there with him because I'm thinking of you. My dad, I can't even be grateful to him, because I feel guilt towards you. This isn't fair, I can't even live my life because of you… and I can't even hate you for it. You didn't do anything to deserve my hatred, I left you alone. I don't even know how to fix this anymore. I don't think I can, can i?

Mira didn't even bother signing it. Tossing the pen at the table she shook her head and flailed her limbs in frustration. Flinging her body forward with a determined look she ran upstairs and grabbed a pair of shorts and a ripped top. She used some tape and wound it around her fist and tied her hair up. Grabbing her shuriken and Kunai she made her way downstairs. Locking the door behind her she began running to the training ground. She trained the entire night, sweating away all the pain and confusion and anger.

From afar Sasuke watched her toned form as she put her all into every move. He watched her muscles tighten and her graceful and brutal movements. She amazed him. That scared him. He felt paralyzed watching her practicing, her whole heart was being thrust into the activity and she didn't stop for even a single moment. Her breaths were heavy and almost labored at times but she didn't stop. Sasuke's eyes looked almost angry as he watched. After a while he left wordlessly and in a bit of a storming rage.

The next morning Mira was still at the grounds when Gray returned. He wanted to surprise her, but he was the one surprised. He found a note laid out…for Gaara. Reading through the note he felt distraught. Sitting back he stared at it with sad eyes. He had thought she had forgotten about him or at least had come to a point where it wasn't so burdensome. He found her later at the training ground desperately moving about with her weaponry, a scary expression had overcome her face. Gray found he was not the only one to have found her. Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Naruto were all there as well. No one watched her happily. Her blood shot eyes and sweaty form seemed more saddening than anything. Gray couldn't simply watch though, moving forward he grabbed onto her arm and halted her movement. She moved to fight him off automatically latching onto his arm and twisting it. She finally looked into the eyes of her enemy and felt everything drain out of her.

"Stop now." Gray said quietly, his voice breaking a little. Mira felt her heart shatter at the defeated look in his eyes. How much pain was she going to cause him? It was quiet as Mira breathed in and out heavily.

"Ok" she said quietly "ok." Her dad nodded and pulled her in for a hug. She decided then and there to lock it inside and stop hurting them all over him.

*******************************************************************************************Mira stood in a small group of herself and two boys. One was a boy named Vida, he had short brown hair and was very quiet as he stood in place unmoving. He had the ability to use three elements, earth, fire, and water. He was a descendant of a clan in the water country but his family had move to Konoha before he was born. Most all of this she learned from the other boy Rill, who had spiky black hair and was very friendly. He was the opposite of what you would expect from his personality. He seems like he would be very similar to Naruto judging from his super friendly and talkative personality, but he was a little different even then. His skill was knowledge, he reminded her of Shikamaru in his ability to think out scenarios but at the same time he was by far more vocal than Shikamaru which could be very helpful as it allowed him more communicative abilities with the group. Mira smiled and chatted with Rill while they waited for Genma Shirunui to arrive their new sensei.

"Sorry for the wait! It's been quite the morning, alright let's start!"