Story 14. That little girl (part one).

To run… To run forward… Where to? Wiped off faded images were rushing by through the dark fog: the forest and the book of ancient stories, A tree trunk appeared and the foot that slipped down…

«I'll find you anyway. And we are to have this lesson!»

A flying ship and its familiar warm control levers… Hairbrush and somebody's fingers braiding her hair…

"May anyone explain what we all have seen right now?"

Whose voice was it? Strange, it's so familiar, almost painfully… However the voice wasn't alone, there were some of them, anxious, worried. And she was still running, and the fog was giving new images that seemed to be gone long ago.

«Maybe we should go for a walk?»

«I don't want to».

Where to run? She was so tired of it, tired of her eternal chase, of her try to follow something or run from someone. Following these falling books? Or perhaps running from these reproaches for safety rules breaking?

"Open your eyes".

That voice belonged to someone, as well as the hands that were touching her face carefully like an unknown treasure, stroking her hair… And for some reason running wasn't necessary anymore. For some reason even the fog was fading due to these gentle touches…

"Ginger Fox, open your eyes".

She hadn't been called like this for ages… The sound of this nickname faded along with all the pieces of past. And meanwhile somebody seemed to take off her powersuit to help her breathe… The air was followed by fragments of feelings. Was she taken to somewhere? Carried? Something was definitely happening around…

Guessing she tried to find out what it was. The fog didn't fade completely, so feelings were still fragmentary. But at least she got the fact that she was sitting on horseback with both legs to one side… Opening her eyes slowly Ashka saw a blurred black-scarlet-golden spot. Some efforts turned it into the man's torso, against whose shoulder her head was leaning. A horseman whose hand was embracing the woman in front, according to the feelings…

She raised her head a little, trying to stop the unstable moving picture. And then she met Gareth's flower-blue gaze… Hand grabbed his tunic, as out of fear that both the man and the horse could vanish and she would fall again. But the rider sensed the movement; he hugged the Spellbinder and smiled.

"It's alright, don't worry. Everything is fine", - he said quietly looking in frightened green eyes.

Bloody vision was still going round, but the sweet quiet voice, that very voice, calmed the chaos of thoughts a little.

"Where's my dragon?" – Ashka whispered looking at the horseman. He smiled again, very subtly. If she didn't know this face so perfectly, she wouldn't even notice.

"Dragon is in the castle, as well as Mek".

"The powersuit…?"

"Elrick took both the helmet and the suit. He's following us".

"And we…"

"Are on our way to the castle, almost there, - the man nodded, - now calm down. We will find out everything, but just a little later".

And he smiled again, so easily, so naturally. In a so familiar way. Ashka wanted to say that in such absurd situation – probably the most absurd in her life – it was more than difficult to calm down. That it was some stupid joke, that she was waited for in a different place, that man who was embracing her couldn't be real! But she just nodded instead and leaned against his shoulder again. Alright, let it be so… Her hand was still squeezing the scarlet tunic, and there came a thought that the fabric was to become hopelessly wrinkled there. But all of this – later… She would find and sort everything out, but let it be later… now she didn't even want to run. Now it was too good and cosy to think…

She didn't remember when and how they arrived to the castle – everything seemed blurred. Spellbinders and Apprentices were coming out of the blue, frightened exclamations were heard:

"Impossible!"

"Is this real she?"

"How can it be?"

All these exclamations sounded suspicious. Why were they so anxious? And what was happening actually? Fragmentary feelings were more or less sorted, but there were still many questions. And only later Ashka realized she was in the castle, in the room once belonged to her, lying on the bed once hers, looking at white arched ceiling once seen every morning. And what mattered most – thoughts became suddenly clear.

There was nobody else in the room. Sitting up slowly Spellbinder looked around. The fire was started; there was a vase with fruits, a cup and a jug on the table. She'd probably fallen out of reality for a while if someone had time to prepare everything… Putting on her boots quickly the woman went to the table and poured some water into the cup. She didn't want to eat, but it was necessary to drink something as soon as possible, for the only proper explanation was making her thirsty.

It was obvious that her eyes weren't playing tricks, because other senses followed the picture. She heard the voice of this man and felt his breathing, she sensed the warmth of his hands and very real tunic with a shining symbol. And somewhere there, under her fingers a very real heart was beating! It was neither hallucination, nor delusion. And not even a nightmare, one of those she had had once. It was a real alive man, her father Gareth the Noble in the heyday of his glory. The same man she remembered was still alive here.

Ashka drank up cool water and poured more. Here. This man wasn't her father, she had to understand it immediately. For she wasn't too mad to forget the funeral pyre! Of course she had to realize sooner. The long-ago control system damage of Mek's boat… Two Carl Morgans, two Joshes. Doubles! If somewhere among parallel worlds there was second Sydney, another dimension could also be honored the same way. Spellbinders land, for example… And now, despite the feeling of already seen, she was not in her world but in its quality copy. In the world where Gareth was alive and perhaps walking down the stairs a little more carefully. In the world where he had his own Ashka calling him dad, where she had her own Gryvon and Correon didn't become a Regent.

The woman put the cup on the table so harshly that water splashed. Wasn't it too cruel irony this time? They'd better arrive to the Dragon Lord indeed, that would be more merciful. And now… She couldn't stay here, she was unwanted here. She had to find Mek and run away. This world wasn't hers. Larius the Great, even this room wasn't hers actually! Someone's quick steps were heard behind the door, Spellbinder moved to the window, having no idea of what to expect. But nobody entered, a stranger went further.

So unfair. Such an idyll… Another's idyll. And now she was to think about it forever, about the possible end of that evening. To think and revive her own pain. No, run, run without looking back, as long as her mind could stand this sight, before she spent there too much time…

Ashka went back to the table, looking around and taking an apple from vase. That was strange, however… She was staying in the room of another her for a while but no one rushed in and resented. Could her copy be so indifferent to the fact that she appeared and took another's accommodation? The other Spellbinder was definitely in the castle, if Gareth was alive – nothing of the previous years should have happened. So where was she? And where was everyone?!

As if answering her questions someone knocked at the door quietly and the doorknob moved down slowly… The woman put an apple back on the table.

"Hello…, - it was Gareth in his black-and-red long mantle, - how do you feel?"

"Where is she? – Ashka exclaimed instead of an answer. - Come on, where is she?"

"Who?"

"The owner of this room! Where's the second me and why isn't she furious?"

Looking at her for a second or two calmly and just a little amazedly the man entered the room slowly.

"Listen… You have lots of questions, I understand it. I also have many. Shouldn't we start from the very beginning? So we will get to the room".

Spellbinder nodded reluctantly, following him with her eyes. Her heart said the situation should be taken impartially, just like a big misunderstanding. But mind refused to obey, adding alertness to other feelings. She wanted to run to him, to catch and hold this man, but there was not enough determination for this. If she did it – running away would become more difficult. He wasn't hers too.

"Your name is Ashka…"

"Yes".

"You're a Spellbinder…"

"Yes".

"You know who I am…"

"Of course".

"Then it all makes me crazy, - Regent said in confusion, - your companion Mek spoke of some parallel worlds that are close to each other. To tell the truth I thought he's mad at first, but these worlds may be the only explanation…"

"Explanation for what? – the woman asked feeling she was losing her temper. - What's happening here? Where's my dragon and where's Mek? We need to recharge one stupid crystal and get out from here as soon as possible!"

There was bewilderment in Gareth's eyes. The situation was becoming more and more absurd; no explanations were coming apart from the fact that the scientist gave a theory course of space traveling here.

"I assure you Harley and your friend are both here and absolutely fine. Mek worried about you very much. We talked a little but he seems to be as confused by this case as me. Of three of us you are probably the one who's got more information…"

This all was annoying. And it seemed that a boy named Paul never entered this world with his explosive tricks. Well, it would be stupid to expect so great coincidences… Pulling herself together Spellbinder went to the fireplace.

"There are not just parallel worlds, - Ashka started not going to look in the blue eyes, - I don't know how well Mek explored this phenomenon. Well, there is a Spellbinders world where things happen in a certain way. And there's also a similar another one. It's like a person and reflection in the mirror. No, - she stopped immediately, - wrong comparison. These worlds…"

"They look alike but have differences? – Gareth helped her. - Something happened in one world that might not happen in the other?"

"Exactly, - the woman nodded gratefully, - at least, for me it is also the only explanation if here you're…"

She kept silent once, reproaching herself for an almost said word. She shouldn't have started! But Gareth had always been clever and smart, oh these features of his! The Regent took a step towards Spellbinder.

"If here I am" what?"

Oh well, enough. They gave each other the general idea – that's all. Let Mek return here alone if it was so interesting, she couldn't… She didn't want to. And bloody hell, where was that copy of hers?!

"Ashka, what goes in the end of this phrase?"

"Nothing!"

Apparently she was losing her temper even faster than wanted. Feeling that a dangerous string was pulled again Spellbinder paced the room nervously. Why, why was he standing there, so familiar and strange at the same time? Why was he looking at her so that words and thoughts lacked? These loving eyes seemed more cruel punishment than Sun's tricks…

"Ashka…"

"If here you're alive! – she exclaimed and turned around. - Do you remember the picnic on my Age Day? Remember? It was here too, right? Do you remember what you said that day? You promised you would never leave me, always be with me! And you know what you did instead? You died there, in my world! Died!"

There was no more place for self-possession. A talk started calmly and peacefully was turning into something chaotic. Bright spots were flashing in front of her echoing with fury, anger, hurt. Pain. He did nothing wrong, but the old wound with ugly scars was gaping apart. Gaping apart due to these flower-blue eyes.

"Ashka, please…", - she saw a strange feeling there, similar to her own. But she couldn't stop.

"How do you think what it was like? I wanted to die and not be so painfully lonely! I thought the Council place would help me to keep on, but it was taken. Nobody needed me! Do you know what it is like to be left with nothing?"

"I do, - Gareth said suddenly, - because I was also left with nothing…"

"What? What are you…"

She eyed him suspiciously, pausing on the crest of her desperately-bitter wish to go on with accusations. What was he speaking about? How could he be left with nothing? Breathing heavily the woman watched the familiar face, trying to get the unspoken. Left with nothing? But he… And then tiny suspicion stung her. Why the four on the road stared with horror? Why Spellbinders and Apprentices were wailing when he almost carried her to the castle? Why no one was rushing in here to kick her out? There was nobody to rush. And finally, why the eyes of this man were so full of pain, similar to her own? Left with nothing… Suspicion developed into a chain of guesswork, solid, strong and clear…

"When did it happen?"

"About four years ago, - Regent answered, - those Ashka and Gryvon went to pilot a ship without permission of the Council. The power was gone. And they crashed".

"What?! – Spellbinder asked in bewilderment already realizing next to what event of her life the parallel was drawn. - But how? I mean I… she… Couldn't she change the powerstones in his suit? It's so easy!"

""She didn't wear her powersuit that day, - the man shook his head, - that was a decisive thing. She never listened to anyone…"

"And so do I?"

"Ashka! She saved Gryvon and died".

"And what about Gryvon?"

"He fell down from the ladder going to call for somebody".

The woman took a deep breath in, smoothing her hair back. Absurd. Things in this world were even worse than she imagined. How, how could the second she make such terrible mistake?! Didn't she remember the rules and theory course? What a foolishness! She wanted to gladden Gryvon? She gladdened indeed! However… At least she protected her Apprentice. Giving not the most pleasant compliments to a copy of hers Spellbinder felt proud for a moment. Teacher's duty had always been paramount, at least she remembered that.

"…I can understand now what you felt seeing me in the forest, - Gareth continued, - I felt the same, honestly. I'd give vent to my emotions with pleasure but somebody had to be in control: there were four Spellbinders on the road who understood nothing, a young guest from another world a woman unconscious and a dragon out of control. Had to sort things out. I hoped that when you wake up we'll have a chance to speak and…"

"And what?"

"You probably would like to stay here for a short time…"

"To stay? – Spellbinder's voice trembled with this word. - I can't, I don't belong to this world!"

A part of hers wanted to rush forward, to him, for this quiet offer. The other part was still resisting and saying it wasn't a good idea. The string inside was pulled again… A bad idea, a very bad one. How could she be here anyway?

"Is it preventing you?"

"Of course! There are those who wait for me in another dimension…"

Don't listen, don't listen to him… That was a stupid nightmare, a prolonged cruel joke. If she let herself relax just for a moment, there would be no way back…

"And me? – Gareth asked quietly. - I've never waited, never hoped to get such a gift…"

"There's no gift! – she exclaimed pacing the room again and feeling that she was hurting herself with these words. - Don't you understand – that Ashka and me are absolutely different! She didn't become a monster; she didn't have her revenge for you!"

"For me? – his eyes shined with surprise for a moment. - No, she didn't. And I don't know many things that make our stories different. But she would probably act the same way, whatever made her do it…"

"Say nothing, - the woman shook her head, - please, say nothing".

Something was stinging her eyes. Not to listen, not to let herself have this splendor, this delight for which her soul and mind were reaching.

"Ashka, do you believe in coincidence? Perhaps I should from now on. I thought I will never see you again…"

"Please, don't", - there was a sharp lump in the throat.

"The fact we've met today is a real coincidence".

"A stupid and foul one, nothing more, - Spellbinder interrupted already aware she was losing the battle, - you wouldn't found out what I did, and you never will. Why giving yourself a false hope?"

"And why not? – Gareth objected readily. - It's not a false hope; it's a lucky chance one may have once in a life. Let us both use it, please".

"I can't", - she repeated like a spell turning to the window. A treacherous tear ran down her cheek, impossible to be wiped off unnoticed. Lips quivered… All these accusations she had… Didn't he have some in return? Why didn't he act offended, didn't go away, disappear? She couldn't take this chance, being too scared. Scared to believe again in the fairytale that had been shining in her soul once, like stained glass, and became broken to pieces later. Why did they arrive in this certain world? And why he was offering another fairytale now? A fairytale she didn't even have strength to fight back…

A hand of the man behind touched her hair lock gently.

"And one little girl could. She wasn't scared to walk through the forest alone in order to meet a young Spellbinder one evening. She wasn't scared to go to the castle and become an Apprentice… Sometimes Spellbinder thought she didn't really know what the fear was. She always behaved like a boy, she was breaking the rules. And she wasn't scared. That little girl grew up, was misstepping, falling, overcoming many things. And became a strong woman. And now she's standing here, and though the Spellbinder isn't young anymore, he is ready to turn the world upside down for her…"

Tears were running down her cheeks and couldn't be stopped. Breathing became short…

"My little Ginger Fox, I love you…"

He was crying too, she didn't imagine it. He was crying! Marauders take them, all the accusation, all self-possession, all the resistance! Ashka turned around and cuddled up to him hiding her tear-stained face. Two strong arms embraced her covering with a silk wave. She was crying as never before – whole-heartedly, desperately and happily at the same time, clutching the folds of the mantle.

"Don't let me go, just don't let me go, dad".

"I won't. I'll hold you as long as you want me to", - he said kissing the ginger head.

"Dad"… She could be repeating this short word forever, as well as listening to the calm beating of his heart. Dad… Alive. Found. So very real! They stood embracing each other and melting in these moments of so fantastic and simple happiness. And two hearts separated my merciless losses were getting a lost part again. She wasn't strong and tough any longer, able to stand impossible things. Now she was that little girl he had met in the forest once. And again it felt wonderfully good and cosy, it was always like this with Him – only He could see her soul this way. And glass pieces deep inside moved that moment and came back to their places for the first time, giving her a sense of completeness and fulfillment. And running away wasn't necessary indeed.

"Don't let me go".

"I won't…"