Chapter 14: Sturm und Drang
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Kensington, Somewhere in Downtown Toronto
3:50 p.m.
"Looks like it's about to get really bad out." Ramona said, looking out the window at the clouds in the sky.
"Are we gonna buy the couch or not?" Scott asked.
"Nah, it's not that comfortable anymore."
"No, it isn't." Jack said. "I wouldn't buy this pile of crap." He stood up off the couch and walked up to the window. "Yeah, it's starting to look like Seattle."
"Let's go." Ramona said.
"No, wait. We're safer in public."
"You think so?"
"We're much safer than at Scott's place. Plus, look at the sky." He pointed out the window at the clouds. The sun barely shined through, and it looked to be getting increasingly dark outside.
"That looks really creepy." Scott said. "I don't like it."
"Don't be a bunch of pussies." Ramona said. "A little rain and a little darkness won't hurt you. I don't feel like staying here until it clears and there's no telling when that'll be."
"Fine." Jack relented. "Your call, princess. Let's go."
The three of them walked out the store and immediately felt the light sprinkle of rain coming down.
"Shit." Ramona looked to the right. "It's so bad I can't even see down there."
There was a flash of lightning across the sky, followed by the rumbling sound of thunder.
"Ooh-ooh, spooky." Jack said in a mocking tone.
"Can we go, now?" Scott asked. "Actually, where are going?"
"Follow me." Jack ran down the alley where he and Scott came from. Scott and Ramona ran after him.
"What are we doing?" Ramona asked. They all stopped at a door at the end of the alley. The door had a yellow star, indicating a passage into Subspace. Jack opened the door and they all stepped in.
"We're going to meet up with our friend Joel. I know where he is."
About 17 Seconds Later…
"Here." Jack said. He opened a door and the three of them stepped out into the cold, steady rainy air of High Park. They were near the restrooms in Hillside Gardens, which wasn't far from Grenadier Pond. They were immediately soaked by the rain water, and the sky was now as black as pitch.
"What are we doing?" Ramona asked.
"Something incredibly stupid." Jack dashed behind the restrooms, out towards the pond. "We might die."
"Sounds fun." Ramona said as she and Scott ran after him. None of them couldn't see a thing through all the rain. "Oh, God, this is so uncomfortable."
Jack stopped as he reached the path leading all the way around the pond.
"Hey, Scott." He said. "Where did we park yesterday?"
"Well, you drove onto the nature trails, so probably somewhere south."
"Well then, we need to be south." Jack grabbed Scott and Ramona by the arms. There was a puff of black smoke, followed by the sound of a thunderclap. Jack let go of them. As the smoke cleared, Scott noticed that they were much farther down the path, near the nature trails. Looking around, he noticed two figures in the distance, near the pond.
"Is that…?"
"Most likely." Jack said. "Come on." The three of them started towards the figures.
"Why didn't we just appear closer?" Ramona asked.
"Why don't you burn in hell?"
"Fine then. Be a dick."
The three of them neared the pond and could identify the two figures as Joel and Maude. Maude was holding an umbrella above herself while Joel stood out in the rain, completely drenched by the water. They both turned to look as Scott, Jack and Ramona stopped about 10 feet away from them. The 5 of them stood there in silence, staring back at each other.
"You come here often?" Jack asked Joel.
"You think you're cute, don't you?" Joel asked.
Joel Anderson Sollace
27 Years Old
Status: Miffed
"I do, actually." Jack said.
"I don't." Joel said. "And you're entrance wasn't nearly as good as Cameron Diaz's."
"Now you're just insulting me. I always wanted to make it in Hollywood."
"Always the joker, aren't you? I guess it's better to leave 'em laughing. Now, do me a favor… and stand really still… and then die." Joel quickly shunted his arm at Jack. A large, black tendril came out from his side, piercing through the air, straight towards Jack. Jack teleported away and the tendril missed; Scott and Ramona jumped away, just to be clear of its striking range. It stopped after about 50 meters. Jack appeared behind Joel and stabbed him in the side with a sharpened glass rod. Joel gasped in pain as Jack lodged it deep inside his flesh.
"I don't care much for you either, you prick." Jack snapped the rod in half, leaving it inside Joel's stomach. Joel gripped his side in pain and Jack kicked him in the back of the leg, sending him to his knees. Jack quickly pulled his gun out from his coat, aimed at Joel's head, and pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened…
"Shit." Jack repeatedly clicked the trigger. Joel groaned, reaching into the hole in his stomach, and pulled the glass shard out of his body. "Goddamn it." Jack resigned and put the gun back into his coat. He teleported back over to Scott and Ramona.
"What happened there?" Scott asked.
"I dunno." Ramona said. "I'm guessing guns don't work in the rain."
(Jack actually forgot the safety was on.)
"Give me your hammer." Jack said.
"What? No!"
"I need it."
"Fine." Ramona begrudgingly unzipped her bag, reached in, and pulled out her Subspace hammer. As she handed it to Jack, it underwent a radical transformation. The entire thing practically doubled in size, and the head morphed into an unusual shape. One side looked like a giant meat tenderizer and the other side took the form of the head of a bearded axe. The smiley face transformed into a crude image of an oni's face.
Majini's Axe
Reach x2
Power x100
Effective Against: Everything Fleshy
"I'm sure I've seen this before." Scott said to himself.
Jack took the hammer with both hands and pointed it at Joel. A lightning bolt flashed across the sky as Joel stood up. He threw the glass shard to the ground as blood began to pool around his feet. He looked at Jack and brushed the hair out of his eyes.
"You're so trying." Joel said. "I only hope you can live up to my expectations." He held both of his hands up. Two tendrils emerged from his sides, flying straight towards Jack. Jack swung the hammer, slicing the tendrils in half. Joel waved his hands and 4 new tendrils branched out from his sides. He pointed his left hand and the 2 tendrils on his left went straight at Jack; he swung his right hand and the two on his right went in a circle, towards Jack.
"I think we should help." Scott said to Ramona. He reached into his chest and pulled out the Power of Understanding.
"I thought that was broken?" Ramona said.
"Me, too. Guess not." Scott ran towards the tendrils circling around towards Jack. He ducked underneath the first one and swung the blade up in a crescent motion, slicing them both in half. Jack swung the axe-side of the hammer and cut through the ones coming straight at him.
"What the fuck, Ramona?" Jack said. "Don't just stand there—do something!"
"Sorry!" Ramona reached into her bag, pulled out the Power of Love, and grouped up with Jack and Scott. "Been a while since I had to get my hands dirty."
Joel knelt down and slammed his hands into the ground. A large mass grew from his back and split into a large group of over a dozen tendrils.
"Shit." Ramona said. "This isn't cool anymore."
"There's like a million of them!" Scott shouted.
"Last time I checked," Jack said. "Fifteen does not equal a million. Put your tampon in, and get with it now."
All of the tendrils immediately swarmed towards the three of them without any instruction from Joel. Scott and the group quickly jumped away and the tendrils planted into the ground, leaving a crater, and drew back. As Scott and Ramona attempted to regroup, the tendrils swarmed towards them.
"Shit!" Ramona shouted. They didn't have time to move. She closed her eyes and waited for the strike.
There was a loud, fleeting noise, like a bunch of marbles bouncing off a sheet of metal. Ramona opened her eyes to see Jack standing in front of them, with one arm raised. There was a dark sphere of aura enveloping them, protecting them from the tendrils.
"Shit. Thanks." Ramona said to him.
"I can't keep doing this." Jack said. "Stop arsing around and do something."
"Well then what's the plan?" Scott asked.
"Look out!" Ramona shouted. They jumped out of the way to avoid a barrage from the tendrils. Jack swung the axe and split through about 5 of the tendrils. But instead of disappearing, they grew and reattached to each other.
"This isn't working!" Scott said as the tendrils recoiled. "What are we going to do?"
Jack teleported over to Joel and slammed the axe into his back—right at the base of where the tendrils formed—impaling him to the ground. Joel gasped and shouted as the tendrils convulsed and shrunk back into his body. Jack pulled the axe out of his body and teleported back over to Scott and Ramona.
"That looked to be pretty effective." He said. As Joel stood up, the rain washed the blood off of his clothes onto the ground. "Seriously? How much can he take? This is getting annoying."
"Why isn't Maude stepping in?" Ramona asked. "She's just standing there while Joel's fighting alone."
"It doesn't really look like he needs her help." Jack said. "He's getting along just fine without her."
"Any ideas?" She asked.
"I really don't know anymore." Scott said.
"I've got one." Jack summoned his cane. He spun it in the air and thrust the tip into the ground. There was a rumbling that echoed throughout the earth beneath them. Suddenly, the hard, pouring rain began to lighten up. Other than the sound of water falling off the trees, the park practically radiated silence.
"This isn't much better." Ramona said.
"I tried." Jack ran his hand through his hair to dry it out.
"Hey, look." Scott pointed up at the sky. Jack and Ramona looked up to see light shining through the clouds, providing a bit of light on the area.
"Great job." Ramona said, derogatively. "You created the sun."
"Shut up." Jack snapped at her. "Shut up! What did you do? That's right—nothing! Nothing!"
"Maude," Joel said, looking up at the peeking sun. "I might need your help."
"Okay." Maude closed her umbrella and set it down. She walked over to Joel and stood in front of him.
"This is gonna be trying." Jack said.
"Wallace said that Maude can die." Scott said.
"Of course. Hit something hard enough, and it'll break."
"I think that's for you to figure out." Ramona said. "If you can."
"Sure I can. Just watch me."
Jack raised the axe up and slammed the flat side onto the ground in front of him. A large crack appeared in the ground and split its way over to Maude and Joel. As they both jumped out of the way, Jack teleported behind Joel and swung the axe at him. Joel maneuvered to face him and caught it with his hands. The axe didn't cut through like it should have. Instead, the force from the attack simply knocked Joel off his feet and shoved him several meters across the ground.
Before Jack could prepare the coup de grace, Maude dashed over to them and raised her right arm. As Jack turned to face Maude, a large, white arm appeared from her shoulder, mimicking her right arm. As she made a fist with her arm and the large sidearm did the same. Jack swung the axe at her and she opened her hand; the large hand grabbed the blade of the axe and stopped it. Maude raised her left hand and another large fist emerged from her other shoulder. She reached over and grabbed the handle of the axe and tore it from Jack's hold.
"Fuck it." Jack teleported away as Maude swung the hammer at him. He reappeared next to Scott and Ramona. "This isn't good."
Maude slid her arms to the base of the axe handle and swung it horizontally and let go, sending it flying through the air at the three of them.
"Down!" Jack grabbed Scott and Ramona by their heads and pushed them all to the ground. The axe flew over them and sailed through the air, across the pond, and disappeared into the fog. Jack stood up and looked over at Maude. "This is definitely a problem."
"Nothing works." Ramona said. "I think we might be out of our league, here."
"Guess there's no other choice..." Jack clenched his fists and drew his arms in an X across his chest. The air began to intensify around him. A large web of cracks appeared in the ground as he thrust his arms out. Jack crouched down and suddenly vanished in a blur, heading towards Maude and Joel.
Maude was blindsided by an attack and spun to the ground. Jack appeared by Joel, with his cane raised and slammed it into the back of his head. Joel fell forward, grabbing his head in pain, and pushed against the ground with his free hand to steady himself. Jack kicked him in the stomach and tossed him back a few feet. Maude stood up, her ephemeral arms disappeared, and she pointed her hands to Jack. A sphere of blue aura appeared in her hands, growing larger with each passing second. The sphere suddenly flew out of her hands, straight towards Jack. Jack disappeared in a blur—the aura sphere spun off into the distance—and dashed towards Maude. She put her arms up in a defensive position and a large, black disc appeared in front of her, like a giant shield. Jack stopped in front of it with his fist reeled back and delivered an earth-shattering blow. A large crack appeared in the center of the disc, spreading across to the edges.
"It's still standing." Scott said.
Suddenly, Jack delivered another punch with his free hand. This time, the blow shattered the disc completely, like a glass mirror. Maude stumbled backwards and Jack moved forward, grabbed her by the throat and punched her in the face, sending her to the ground.
"Ouch." Scott cringed. There was another sound like glass breaking. As Maude looked up, they could see that part of her face was missing, as though it was made of glass.
"What the fuck." Jack said, teleporting over to Scott and Ramona.
"She's like a porcelain doll." Ramona said.
Maude stood back up and pressed her hands together in front of chest, like a begging gesture or a meditating pose. A stream of aura enveloped her, followed by a flash of light. As the light dimmed, the missing part of her face had been repaired. Suddenly, her white coat extended like a plume of fire, and the coat tails took the form of a large buster sword.
"Wallace didn't say anything about that." Scott said.
"This is pissing me off now." Jack said.
"Let me take her. I'm the only one with a sword to match her."
"Not quite. Let me help you out there." Jack grabbed the blade of the sword. A dark aura coursed through the blade. As with Ramona's hammer, the sword changed, growing larger, practically twice its size.
The Power of Understanding was upgraded!
Reach +7
Power +10
Weight +12
"This thing is really heavy." Scott said.
"Don't be ridiculous. It's just—"
Scott lost his leverage on the sword and blade hit the ground.
"Ahh!" Scott struggled to lift the sword back up. "Urk!"
"Pathetic." Jack shook his head as Scott failed to wield the blade.
"Well, let's see you pick it up!" Scott shouted in frustration and let the sword fall to the ground. "No one on the planet could pick the damn thing up."
Jack sighed, reached down, and picked the handle up, lifting the sword with one hand.
"That was so difficult." Jack mocked him, slinging the blade over his shoulder.
"But… but I loosened it."
"It doesn't work that way."
"What's going on over there?" Joel asked Maude. They stood far out of earshot of them and could only hear bits of the conversation.
"They appear to be arguing." Maude said.
"Just attack them. I'm afraid I'm becoming a little more than useless at the moment."
"Roger." Maude's wings sprouted out and she dashed over to Jack and Scott, with her sword following behind her like a tail.
Jack turned and let the Great Knife hit the ground. He ran to intercept Maude, dragging the sword behind him, drawing a line in the dirt and mud behind him. His approach to Maude was slowed by the weight of the cumbersome weapon. As they approached each other, they raised their weapons to strike. Maude spun in a circle, swinging the ephemeral sword horizontally at Jack. Jack raised the sword up over his head and brought it down right onto Maude's sword. The force brought both of their weapons straight into the ground. Maude's sword suddenly vanished. She turned to face Jack, dropping down on all fours, the sword reappeared and she swung it downwards at him. Jack dropped his weapon and teleported away to avoid the attack. Maude's sword struck the ground, digging into the ground. Jack reappeared on Maude's left with his cane in hand. As she turned, he raised the cane up high and slammed it into her back. There was another sound of shattering glass as Maude gasped and fell to the ground. The sword disappeared in a puff of white flames. Jack spun the cane around and drove the tip into the other side of Maude's back. There was another shattering sound as Maude cried out. Jack teleported over to where the Great Knife lay and grabbed the handle and swung it out of the ground, straight onto Maude. Maude quickly turned onto her back and put up her hands and summoned her shield. There was a muffled crack as the sword connected with the plate, creating an enormous fissure on the face of the shield. It did not give into the blow, nor did it give into the weight of the sword—it held.
"Fuck it…" Jack muttered. "Just die already!"
Jack raised the sword above his head and swung again. Suddenly, before the blade could even connect, both Maude and the shield were dragged away, out of the line of impact. The sword connected with the mud, dirt and grass beneath where Maude lay a moment ago. Jack turned his head quickly to see Maude—the shield had disappeared—being dragged along the ground by one of Joel's tendrils.
"Why can't things ever go my way?" Jack lamented as he dropped the sword.
"Take care of yourself." Joel said to Maude.
"Fuck it." Jack said, annoyed. "Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it." He raised the cane up and pointed it at the two of them, preparing the Darkshot. A small dark sphere began to form at the top of the cane, emitting a low whirring sound. The shot began to distort as it increased in size, with the humming becoming even louder. An odd warping sound echoed as the sphere rapidly cut down to the size of a baseball, and a large shockwave blasted through the park.
"That looks dangerous." Joel remarked. Maude put her hands up in front of her chest and began to pool her aura into a bright blue sphere.
"Yahtzee!" Jack shouted, turning the cane in hand. The shot launched, straight towards Maude and Joel.
Maude quickly fired her aura sphere. It traveled, quickly reaching Jack's. The two spheres slammed straight into each other, with Maude's seemingly engulfing Jack's and becoming one big blue orb with a pitch black center. It held completely still, for what seemed to be less than a second. And then, it all came down.
The concussive energy from the orb exploded into a wide-ranged arc. Somehow, Maude's sphere caused recoil, directing the force of the blast towards Jack.
"Fuck it!" Jack shouted as he raised his hands in a defensive manner. The blast travelled quickly towards him and swallowed him up.
Scott and Ramona were well out of the blast range. The two stood there in awe, watching the destructive blast tear through the park, mowing down trees and… well, mostly trees, and terrain.
As the blast cleared, its affected areas had been reduced to scorched earth. Jack was nowhere to be seen.
"Holy shit." Scott said. "She blew him off the face of the planet."
"Don't be ridiculous." Jack's voice came from behind Scott and Ramona. He brushed past them, raising his cane at Maude and Joel. Dark energy surged at the top of the cane, differently than it did for the Darkshot. Jack quickly unleashed a pounding stream of cloudy darkness at them.
Maude raised her arms, summoning a large sphere of blue aura above her head. She waved her hands, and a salvo of missiles launched from the sphere, heading straight to intercept Jack's. One after another, they smashed into each other, exploding into smoke clouds. Not one of the miniature rockets made it to Jack or Maude.
Jack had become angry (if you couldn't already tell) by this point. He relented momentarily, only to charge up a bigger mass of dark energy, which he then shot at an upward angle. The mass traveled in an arc, and descended as if it had weight. Jack launched another stream of darkness straight on.
Maude propelled the orb above her head towards the heavy mass coming down on them. The two orbs hit each other and exploded, just like they always do. Maude quickly waved her hands, bringing forth another wave of missiles, and sent them forward to intercept Jack's.
Keeping his right hand steady with the cane, Jack held up his free hand and charged it with dark energy. Another Darkshot orb began to form.
"He's wasting everything." Ramona said.
"No." Scott said. "He's trying to overwhelm Maude."
Jack stretched his hand out in a fluid motion, and the Darkshot orb floated out of his hand and moved over to the top of his head. He kept his hand open and charged up another orb, moving the cane up to fire another mortar strike.
Maude shifted her focus from Jack to the mortar rising. She didn't have an orb ready to fire against it, so she relented with the missile strike to charge one up.
"Be ready to move." Jack said to Scott and Ramona as he fired another mortar.
Maude had charged up one orb to cut off the mortar already falling towards them. She fired it and began creating another to launch against the second mortar.
"Batter up." Jack said, throwing the Darkshot in his hand up into the air. He quickly backed up, and took his cane in both hands, swinging it backwards, like a bat. As the orb came back down, Jack swung at it. The top of the cane connected with the orb and launched it forward at high speed.
Maude had little time to react. She launched the orb she was preparing at the second mortar. Then she put up her hands in a defensive manner, assembling the shield. The Darkshot slammed into the shield and remained motionless, immediately lodging itself into the structure and creating a giant web of cracks in it. It stood for a moment, and then the Darkshot and the shield dissipated. Maude cried out and then fell over. A series of cracks appeared over her body, as did the shield.
"You're out!" Jack shouted, flipping the cane over to catch the Darkshot orb floating over his head. He pointed the cane back at Maude and Joel and fired it at them.
Joel stepped forward with his arms outstretched; two demonic shapes emerged from his hands and moved at high speed in a wide circle, traveling straight for each other. Their path was leading them straight for the Darkshot orb, and sure enough, they slammed straight into it. The Darkshot began to expand before suddenly vanishing along with the demon heads.
"What the fuck was that?" Jack said in astonishment.
"I don't have the energy to keep fighting him." Maude said to Joel. "We need to go."
Joel looked up as the clouds dispersed and the sun began to shine, casting a bright ray down on the park. "Seeing as we don't have much of a choice… make it so."
Maude reached over and grabbed Joel's arm. The two of them disappeared in a flash of blue light.
"No!" Scott shouted in dismay. "Not again."
"Fuck it." Jack walked past the two of them. "I'm getting really fed up with this."
"Wait!" Scott ran up to him and trailed by his side. "You're not ditching us, are you?"
"The way I see is this: we're messing with something bigger than we can handle. From what I just experienced, we are out of our league."
"You were doing a great job, though."
"Nothing works against this guy! Were you not paying attention? Those two are practically invincible together."
"But now we have more experience fighting him. Maybe Wallace can find something that'll help us fight him."
"I doubt it. I'm getting really fed up with this whole thing." He pulled a cigarette out and lit it. He closed the top on his lighter and put it away. "Until you find something, consider me on hiatus."
"What? What are you saying?"
"You said that you would stay here until Joel was out of the way." Ramona said.
"I did, but I thought it would be resolved quickly. Now it's apparent that isn't going to happen. I have more important things to do right now. If something urgent comes up, give me a call. Until then, I'm gone." Jack disappeared in a puff of black smoke.
"No!" Scott called. "Damn it. Everything gets worse by the minute. And he could've brought us home. Now we have to walk back all wet."
Scott picked up the Power of Understanding, which since being dropped had returned to its original form, and put it into Ramona's bag. Then they walked over to the other side of Grenadier Pond to retrieve Ramona's hammer. The hammer had also reverted to its normal form and was sitting in the ground under a tree that appeared to be cut from a blow from an axe.
"I know we weren't really making any progress, and even though he's a total douche, it feels a lot more comforting when Jack's around."
"I know. Let's get out of here."
End Chapter 14