Simply looking at the worn green door to the Boarding House made Helga feel like she was trespassing. Probably because this was the only time in twenty four years she would be entering the house invited, and yet she'd been inside more times than she cared to count. She could still remember the very first time she 'paid a visit' to Arnold's room, back in fourth grade, and after that it seemed there was no going back. During sixth grade she could almost confidently say she spent more time at the Boarding House than at her own home, of course that lead to practically every single tenant, bar Arnold and Mr Kokoschka, being very well aware of her visiting habits.
Helga extended her arm, and knocked lightly against the wood, and even that felt weird, considering twelve years ago she would have been slipping inside an open window. Gertie swung the door open seconds later, and even shot her an amused look, because after all, maybe everybody was still expecting her to crawl through the windows.
"Eleanor, oh how glad I am to see you!" the older woman gushed, smiling happily at Helga on the stoop, "And to think, I was almost afraid you'd given up the campaign!"
Helga winced, of course she knew exactly what Gertie had meant, and she wanted desperately to protest that she had given up the campaign – twelve years ago and that whatever, 'rejoining of forces', she was currently wrapped up in was not her choice at all.
"Oh Pookie." came a sigh from behind Arnold's grandmother, and Phil walked into view, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder, "The girl's a psychologist now, she's not going to fall for the old 'I'm a crazy old loon who doesn't quite make sense' act."
Gertie shot him a very pointed look, but he continued undeterred, "Besides, I reckon she had us all figured out by the time she was eleven!"
Smiling weakly, Helga shrugged her shoulders, "Sorry." she offered, but it wasn't her fault the little ruse the two had created had never really escaped her notice. Actually, she still couldn't believe how well it had worked on Arnold.
"Oh don't you think I know that Chin Boy?" Gertie grinned at him in response, shaking her head a little at the mere suggestion that she thought she may have been fooling Helga.
Phil playfully rolled his eyes at the age-old insult, or rather loving nickname, "Insults again, Pookie? Really?" he sighed good-naturedly, "Just don't say that too loud or Short Man will hear and he'll start asking questions."
"I don't see the harm in questions, Phil." Gertie scoffed at him in response, "He needs to find out sometime."
Sure, Helga knew them well, but they were very secretive people and their current topic of discussion, which she felt may have been eluded to in her presence at previous times, remained entirely a mystery to her. Whatever the issue was, there had always been clear debate over informing Arnold on the subject.
"Yeah, and he's going to find out by himself." Phil insisted, then raising his finger and making an extra comment, "And I better be alive to see it!"
Considering the slight chill of the outside air right now, and how long she had been standing in it, Helga cleared her throat a little to draw some attention away from the couple's coded conversation. Phil blinked at the sound, and turned to look back down at her.
"Oh, sorry Helga." he apologised, shifting to the side and motioning her into the hallway, "Come on in, we'll escort ya to the dining room."
One step inside, and Helga could already feel a familiar sensation welling up inside, that feeling of home she both loved, and yet hated, at the very same time. It was insanity, to feel such a sense of belonging to a place that had never been hers, a place that she had always known she would ultimately have to leave behind.
Realising that she had now been standing, one step clear of the door, for far longer than necessary, Helga cleared her thoughts, "Thanks Phil." she smiled, as she followed Arnold's grandparents down into the dining room.
Helga noticed Mr Hyunh's eyes light up immediately as she stepped into the dining room, and it was no surprise. It was sometime during fifth grade, if she recalled correctly, that he had discovered Helga's role in bringing his daughter Mai home for Christmas the year prior. Countless times he had thanked her, even offered her gifts, and Helga had repeatedly enforced that he never speak a word of it to anybody else. Thankfully, he was a man of his word, and always discreet about the issue.
Mr Kokoschka was the first to speak up at her entry, "Good, the girl is here!" he announced rather loudly, "Now we can eat!" and he looked down at his plate expectantly, as though he hadn't been fed in days.
"Oskar!" Suzie frowned, dealing him an elbow to the ribs, "Don't be rude to our guest."
"But she's going to steal all the food..." he whined in response, looking over at his wife with a particularly pathetic expression.
Suzie, who was clearly embarrassed by his behaviour, cleared her throat and glanced up toward Helga, "Sorry about my husband." she apologised, before leaning over and whispering harshly into Oskar's ear, "She's a psychologist, you know."
"Oh, heh heh." the man chuckled nervously up at her, "Lovely to see you Helga, you see, no problems here!" and he shifted to sit straight as a board in his chair.
Helga simply raised an eyebrow at the man, who still wore an ill-fitting suit and gold jewellery his wife probably funded, and took her seat across the table, next to Mr Hyunh. Phil sat in the seat beside Oskar, and gave his hands a quick swat, whilst Gertie made her way back into the kitchen.
"Helga, you're here." came a familiar, and nerve tinglingly gorgeous, voice from behind her and Helga literally felt herself stiffen and freeze in her seat.
Arnold carried in a few trays of dinner, followed closely by Gertie with two more, and he looked down at Helga expectantly. A good response, of any kind, would have been rather appropriate at that very moment but one just was not coming to mind. Curse her inability to function around him, she was supposed to be a distinguished professional.
Helga had never been more thrilled at the sight of Ernie Potts when he, and his family, suddenly appeared in the doorway, and the distraction gave her a few moments to relax her breathing. Arnold, was thus, dragged back into the kitchen by his grandmother.
"Sorry we're late." Ernie announced as he, his model wife Lola, and their little daughter piled into the dining room in quite a rush, "Lilly w- Hey, it's Helga!"
Helga smiled at them, "Hello Ernie, hello Lola."
Helga was suddenly beginning to realise, or rather remember, all the things she'd done for the people of this house. Arnold had helped Ernie approach Lola back when they were in fourth grade, and after a badly ended date, and an apology from Lola, they began seeing each other casually and their relationship progressed slowly but steadily. Unfortunately, it all fell apart just six months later, and Helga had stumbled across Ernie crying one afternoon when she'd used his room's window as an entry point.
"Hello, Helga." Lola smiled back, "This is our daughter, Lilly. Lilly, this is Helga."
Overall, the problem had been a simple lack in communication, and it was all solved rather quickly once she'd managed to drag them into a room together. However, they were always extremely grateful for her intervention, and Helga found that Mr Potts' constantly left his window open for her after that. It proved endlessly useful at the time.
Lilly grinned at her, her messy brown hair swishing as she tilted her head, "Hello Helga, daddy tells me lots of stories about you breaking into the house when you were little."
"Lilly, remember what I told you about those stories." Ernie said to his daughter very seriously, whilst Helga tried to stop grimacing at the comment, "Not when Arnold is around, okay?"
It was official, her life was a disillusioned story of insanity, and she herself was a basketcase. Grown men and their daughters were now protecting her secret for her, what a mess.
"Okay Daddy, I remember." Lilly assured him with a nod, and sent a sweet smile in Helga's direction, which didn't help her feel any better about the situation at all.
Ernie, Lola and Lilly all settled into seats on the opposite side of Mr Hyunh, who was now leaning over toward Helga a little.
"Mai said to say hello." he said to her, his voice low and soft.
Helga nodded slightly, "How is she going?'
"Wonderful." he beamed, "She owns an art store downtown now, and she is engaged."
Since their discovery of her role of 'Christmas Angel', Helga had only spoken with Mai a handful of times, yet she had always liked the pretty Vietnamese woman, and was certainly happy for her successes. "Pass on my congratulations." she responded.
"Of course." Mr Hyunh nodded, "She would love to see you, sometime."
Helga smiled at him, "That sounds nice." she assured him, "Maybe I'll stop by sometime and get her address from you?"
"Yes, yes you can stop by sometime." he assured her eagerly, his eyes flicking over toward Arnold who had now re-entered the room with the last of the dinner trays, "During school hours, maybe."
"Yeah." Helga agreed with a very light whisper, "During school hours."
Oskar tapped his knife against the plate set before him the very moment Arnold placed down the last of the food, "Is it time to eat yet?" he griped.
"Yes, Mr Kokoschka." Arnold sighed with a slight roll of his eyes, "You can eat now."
Phil glared at Oskar, as his fork dived for the tray of meat, "But save some for everyone else, you bum!" he warned, with a shake of his fist.
Gertie sashayed her way into the room, moving to sit at the opposite end of the table, and motioning to her grandson to take his seat. Helga, now then realised, the last available seat was directly beside her, and she couldn't help but shoot a look at Phil and Gertie, who simply responded with nonchalant smiles.
Helga bit her lip, hard. He was so incredibly close to her, and she could feel his warmth, and it was times like these she was practically begging for their skin to touch, their hands to brush, his body against hers and... Woah, she needed to calm down.
"So, Helga." Ernie's voice cut into her intense daydream, "I heard you're doing well for youself."
Suzie nodded, as Helga reached forward to place food on her plate, and despite not really feeling very hungry all of a sudden, she ate it anyway. "Yes Helga, your novel is fantastic." Mrs Kokoschka said sincerely, "I've personally read it countless times, even Oskar attempted to read it."
"Hey, did not!" Oksar protested with a mouthful of meat and peas, "I don't read sissy girl books!"
Ernie shook his head from across the table, "It's not a girl book Oskar." he defended, "It's got some pretty intense stuff in there." ending his sentence with a little chuckle.
Helga could feel her cheeks heating a little, and didn't fail to notice Arnold choking on his food slightly at the same time. Clearly, he had read the book. She couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. Probably not.
"What kind of intense stuff?" spoke a little voice from next to Ernie, Lilly's hazel eyes darting around the table, searching for an explanation. Helga smiled; she was going to be a smart girl, a good inquisitive mind.
Lola frowned slightly, "Nothing you need to know about." she assured her daughter.
"Do you work with crazy people?" Oskar suddenly announced, yet again not bothering to swallow before talking and, possibly for both of those things, received himself a slap on the arm from Suzie.
Helga shook her head slightly, "No, I work with children with behavioural issues."
Phil chuckled at her from his position at the head of the table, "Interesting choice, Helga..." he teased, and Helga rolled her eyes at him.
"Why do you help children?" Lilly spoke up again, leaning forward against the table to look at her better.
"Because, sometimes they need somebody to talk to." Helga tried to explain as best as possible, "Sometimes they're lonely and a little confused."
Lilly mulled over this for a minute, chewing down a small mouthful of carrots, before turning back to Helga with her next question. "What are they confused about?" she asked, clearly intrigued.
Helga thought it over for a moment, "How to properly express themselves." she settled on for way of explanation.
"That sounds sad." Lilly immediately responded, "Are they sad?"
Helga nodded, Lilly was proving to be incredibly perceptive, it was very interesting, "Sometimes they are." she admitted.
"Were you ever sad?" Lilly continued, shocking Helga a little, "Your eyes look sad."
Panic set in immediately, and Helga knew she was staring wide eyed at the child in absolute surprise. In the back of her mind, however, she was considering the possibility of studying Lilly as the prototype for a well-raised child. Truthfully, she was rather impressed with the Potts' nurturing of their child's intelligence.
Right now, though, an entire dinner table was staring at her and waiting for a response. Helga cleared her throat, the sound cutting through the sudden silence, "Yes, I was sad when I was little." she admitted, trying to sound as confident as possible, "But I'm okay now."
Lilly smiled, "That's good." she said happily, then returning all focus to the plate of food in front of her.
Phil, who was currently looking down at his dinner thoughtfully, now spoke up, "Pookie, what on earth did you put in this?" he questioned, his face scrunching up a little as he turned to his grandson, "Arnold what did you let her put in this?"
Arnold shrugged at him, "I didn't do anything." he promised.
Gertie, however, made no such promise and simply grinned at her husband, "Oh, just a few raspberries, General." she mentioned casually.
"Raspberries!" Phil cried out immediately, dropping his utensils, "How did you get raspberries in this?"
Oskar frowned, and inspected his plate very carefully, "I don't taste any raspberries." he said, scratching his head.
Lola glanced up from her plate, "There are no raspberries in mine..." she also noted.
Phil frowned, eyeing Gertie very carefully for a few moments, "You only put them in mine..." he stated carefully, "Didn't you?"
No verbal response was given, but the little hum of amusement from his wife was all the poof he needed. Groaning, Phil stood from the table and shook his head, "That woman will be the death of me." he muttered, now rushing off down the corridor, presumably toward his 'office'.
Helga couldn't help but laugh a little, a smile crossing her face at the exchange between the two. Arnold glanced over to her and smiled too, his eyes lingering on hers for an extra moment before she began to panic. Averting her eyes, she went back to staring solely at the meat and potatoes on her fork.
"Are you married?" Lilly spoke up again, those inquisitive hazel eyes focussed directly on Helga once more.
Lola gasped at her daughter, "Sorry, Helga." she apologised quickly, "Lilly just found out what marriage is and she liked to ask people about it."
"It's okay." Helga assured the girl's mother, before turning her attention back to little Lilly, "No Lilly, I'm not married."
Apparently, this confused the young girl, because she was silent for an extra moment and she looked a little surprised, "Why not?" she wondered, "You're really pretty, I bet lots of people want to marry you."
"I'd marry you, heh." Oskar piped up, earning him a strong glare from his wife, that made him slouch back down into his seat a little, "Sorry, Suzie."
"My mommy and me plan my wedding sometimes, for when I'm a big grown up like you." Lilly announced proudly, a happy grin on her little face, "Do you do that with your mommy?"
Biting her lip, Helga tried to search the expanses of her mind for a suitable response to that question. One that would satisfy a little girls curiosity, and also not add to Arnold's, because Helga knew one wrong word would cause him to pry. "No, I don't do that with my mom." she began slowly, but she knew stopping there would only earn her a 'why', she was going to have to say it, "I don't exactly have a mom."
Lilly frowned, and Arnold's eyes snapped to her immediately, his plate of food forgotten in the light of such a revelation.
"Everybody has a mom." Lilly's voice informed her, and Helga knew she had slightly confused the poor girl.
Nodding, she agreed, "That's true, and I did have a mom a long time ago." she decided to keep it vague, "But she, uh, had to leave us."
Arnold was staring at her, not in a bad way, but not in a good way either. Actually, he was staring at her like he was trying to figure her out by burning holes into her mind. Helga was restless, she was panicking, and the entire table probably knew it. Heck, even Lilly could probably see the dread in her eyes.
Chaos evidently being the best aversion to this situation, Gertie began to initiate Helga's escape route, by rushing to the piano to play, and sing, very loudly.
Oskar relished her sudden disappearance, and the unattending of her dinner plate, "Oh good, the old woman is playing songs." he exclaimed, reaching over the table, "I can take her food!"
Helga could faintly hear Ernie whispering something along the lines of, please don't ask Helga about her family, into his daughter's ear. Meanwhile, Arnold was still staring at her with great concern, seemingly unmoved by the multitude of distractions.
Phil returned to the dining room, given all the noise, cast one glance at Gertie playing the piano and sighed, heading over to the table and stacking empty plates on top of each other.
Sensing an opportunity for temporary escape, Helga stood, "I can give you a hand with those, Phil." she offered, taking a plate in her hands.
"Nonsense, Eleanor!" Gertie insisted, leaning back from the piano, "You'd better be going back to that fancy apartment of yours!"
Helga only had a brief moment to wonder how the woman possibly knew about her apartment, when she heard Mr Hyunh speak up.
"Oskar, you lost the bet!" he insisted, "I told you she would be rich!"
Suzie looked at her husband with horror, "Oskar, how could you bet against that?" she demanded to know, "Of course she's rich, do you know how popular that book was?"
"I don't know." Oskar whined, "I thought maybe she'd blow it on strippers or something!"
Ernie, across the room, raised an eyebrow at him and swiftly covered his daughter's ears, "What would Helga want with strippers?" he questioned the European man incredulously.
Oskar folded his arms across his chest, "Hey, there was that part in the book where the girl-"
"Hey, Short Man!" Phil suddenly interrupted, "How's about you see Helga off?" he suggested firmly, motioning frantically toward the front door.
Arnold, who not surprisingly looked a little confused, nodded at his grandfathers suggestion. "Good idea." he mumbled a little to himself, then turning to the group of boarders, "Stop making bets about Helga, okay?" he instructed them.
"Wait, before she goes." Oskar called out, as Arnold attempted to begin guiding Helga toward the door, "I want to know if she ever hires strippers?"
Helga sighed, he was taking the book completely out of context, especially the relativity of the scene. Besides, it was fiction, loosely-realistic fiction, but fiction nonetheless.
"Not in front of Lilly!" Ernie scolded him, once again moving his hands back to cover his daughter's ears from the words flying around the room.
Smirking, Helga turned to look at Mr Kokoschka, "Only on Tuesdays." she responded with a laugh, before turning and walking down the hallway, Arnold taking her lead and following.
"See, I was right!" she could hear Oskar declaring from the dining room, to which Helga could hear Suzie sigh in response.
Ernie spoke up next, "She was being sarcastic, you good for nothing bum!" he shot back, and that was the last Helga heard and she stepped out onto the front stoop with Arnold.
"Sorry about the boarders." he apologised immediately, as the door shut behind them, "They get excited about company."
Helga laughed, she knew that of course, maybe better than he did. "I know." she assured him, "Lilly's cute..."
"She asks a lot of questions." he grimaced, clearly thinking of the line of enquiry before Gertie had invoked a commotion, "Sorry about that."
Shrugging, she wished he would stop apologising for the strangest things, "No big deal." she smiled, "An inquisitive mind is good at that age."
Arnold smiled back at her, shifting his feet a little on the concrete steps, "Well, you would know." a pause followed, and he looked her over carefully, "Uh, can I ask you something, Helga?"
Two 'something's' immediately came to mind, one being questions about her mother and the other being questions about, well, the possibility of his knowledge of her endless devotion to him. Either way, she wasn't willing to talk about it now, maybe not ever.
"Ah, you know, I really have to go." she frowned, her heart beating fast in her chest, "Could it wait?"
Arnold nodded slowly, and relief flooded her body, "I guess so." he answered, "I'll see you Monday, then."
Helga blinked, she recalled nothing of a Monday, "Monday?" she repeated dumbly.
"Oh, maybe Tina didn't get through to you yet." he began to explain, and Helga could feel the panic rising, "The education board wants me to sit in on the discussion with Mr and Mrs Sanderson. I don't think it's necessary but they insisted."
Wishing this was a phone conversation, so she could put a hand over the receiver and scream profanities to the sky and fall to the floor in dismay, Helga forced herself to ignore the temptation to act like a dying squirrel, and instead forced out an "Oh, good." which sounded painful, despite how hard she'd tried, "I'll see you Monday."