It's late at night when she wakes up. Something warm has pulled her out of her dream. She turns on her side and realizes it is Phil. He is fast asleep on his back with both arms wrapped around Maria, holding her close.

This is strange for her. With all her past partners, they leave as soon as her eyes drop. She wonders if perhaps he just fell asleep on accident. Maybe he was trying to leave and woke her up and is just waiting for her to fall back asleep. Millions of possibilities run through her head while she stares at his sleeping face.

After a few moments, Phil begins to stir under het gaze. He blinks awake in the dim city lights leaking through the windows and groggily finds her face.

"Hey," he rasps. His voice is still thick with sleep. "What are you doing up?"

"You fell asleep," she answers.

Phil blinks a few times and scrunches his brows. "Uh-huh… You want me to leave?"

"Do you want to?"

He looks at her confused and then smiles. "Well, I planned on having a great night with you and then taking you out to breakfast, but if you don't want to…"

Maria shakes her head and watches as he smiles and then drifts back off to sleep. She continues to stare at him and trace the lines on his face with her eyes as she tries to figure out exactly what he meant.

But it's obvious isn't it. They're spending the night together, and the morning, and probably even the day. They're in an actual relationship and it's going well. They've been dating for five months now. This is the longest she's ever been in a relationship, and the best one she's been in.

She wants to cry because there's no way this is going to last. Years and years have trained her to keep herself from relaxing when things started getting good. It's just the sign that everything is about to get worse.

She's going to wake up and he's going to be gone and it's over. Or maybe next week they'll have a fight and he'll turn around and walk away from her and never look back. Or he might… No. He would never do that. Leave her, sure, but Phil is not the kind of man to hurt anyone. He makes her feel safe and that's what terrifies her the most.

She doesn't even know she's crying until Phil's hands are slowly wiping away her tears. She doesn't want to look at him and admit how vulnerable she is right now, and he doesn't force her or beg her to. He just rubs her back with one hand and catches tears with the other.

The sun starts to rise and the glow catches on everything. The light shows off Maria's red and puffy eyes and the tear tracks of a few tears Phil couldn't catch, but she then sees his face and red eyes. She wants to ask him why he's crying too, but she doesn't. It would be cruel of her to force him to reveal his feelings without giving away hers.

So she scoots up the bed and kisses him instead. It's soft and slow and it makes the tears well up in her eyes again, but this time not because she's afraid, it's because she's raw and their relationship feels so real. Her hands reach up and hold his face, and soon she's returning the favor and wiping under his eyes.

The sun fully rises and there is not a shadow in the room to hide in. So she holds Phil close, like he already is with her, and whispers to him. She tells him how he terrifies her and hoe she's scared she'll never be a full person. She tells him about how her whole life she's lived in the shadow of never being good enough and being the wrong person. She tells him about how she's a survivor, and how there's some one out there who wishes she was never born. Maria keeps spilling all her secrets to him and he quietly takes it all in. She wants to be in love, and she knows it will never work out between them if she doesn't tell him why she's the way she is.

When she finishes, he closes his eyes and frowns and sighs and then kisses her just as soft as she had earlier, and then kisses her forehead and opens his eyes when he pulls away.

"I'm so sorry, Maria," he whispers finally.

She should frown and cry more, but instead she smiles up at him. It almost sounded like 'I love you", and it's probably what he meant. He smiles back at her, then lets go of her and sits up in the bed.

"How about we go get some breakfast and then talk some more