When 2D woke up every muscle in his body felt as if it were on fire. His head was pounding and his face felt tight and itchy due to the dried blood caked to his skin from where Murdoc had kicked him in the mouth. He considered moving from the floor, maybe make it up onto his bed, or better yet he could drag himself into the bathroom and clean himself up. Hell better yet if he had the strength for it he could just slit his own throat, but even turning his neck caused him to cough and whimper in pain. He was used to the physical pain, to feeling like he had been run over by a semi, but now there was at least five hundred pounds of emotional pain on top of it. Salt being rubbed into all of his opened wounds; did Murdoc even care or was he completely oblivious to how much Hel he put 2D through? This was the same bastard who had spent most of his life trying to be some weird James Dean, Keith Richards rip off who now prided himself on believing he was completely dead on the inside. Dead on the inside, Murdoc was nothing but dead internally. He told everybody that because he was proud of it, he was proud of being some sadistic heartless fuck who was getting revenge on a world he felt had fucked him over his entire life. As he grew older he grew more demented, angry, and just….He didn't care, he didn't care about one fucking person other than himself and even then it didn't seem like he cared about that either. 2D wished he could care, wished that Murdoc could look at him; actually fucking look at him and realize that through all of this, this scrawny pathetic dull man was in love with him. There was somebody who cared, who always cared, and proved that every second of his life. Murdoc never noticed and if he did then he took it for granted, tried to find the underlying meaning, the lie between the lines. There was no lie, there was no long run scheme; 2D just loved him, cared about him, and wanted nothing more than to….He didn't know anymore.

He wasn't sure why he even tried, why he bothered telling Murdoc that he was in love with him.

Why wouldn't he? He honestly had not a single thing to lose.

"Stu?"

2D ignored the voice; he placed a hand over his face and grunted.

"Satan, yew look like Hell."

"Huh, I wonder why." The younger man whispered, he pulled away when he felt Murdoc's hand on his shoulder.

He opened his eyes slightly and glanced up at the green skinned musician. He actually looked a bit sad, ashamed of himself even; it made 2D want to hug him and tell him it was alright, even if it was far from that.

"I'm sorry"

This time 2D didn't pull away when Murdoc touched him, his fingers going through his hair.

"My head hurts"

"Here take these, I had Cyborg go an' get them last night." Murdoc said, he handed the singer an orang prescription bottle.

2D pulled himself up into a sitting position; he leaned back against his night stand. He took two tablets out of the bottle and took them.

"Last night, 'ow long have I been passed out for?"

"About a day"

"An' yew didn' check on me at all in that time?"

Murdoc scratched at the back of his head and looked away.

"Er well I thought about it but I figured yew weren't dead."

"I could 'ave been, yew really beat the 'ell outta me."

"I know, I know I already apologized for it. Wot else do ya want from me?"

"Do yew feel bad 'bout it or yew just think that yew should?"

Murdoc continued staring off at the other side of the room for a bit; he turned his attention back to 2D when he finally decided to answer.

"I feel actually bad 'bout it, I really do; I shouldn't 'ave done that to yew. I still say yer out of yer bloody mind though being in love with me."

"Why does it bother yew?"

Murdoc averted his eyes again, 2D attempted to read his expression but he couldn't. It was a mix between nothing and shame, nothing was going to change there. At least he could tell that the older man genuinely regretted what had happened, that was a little bit of comfort.

"I'll be right back"

The bassist got up and left the room going into the bathroom. 2D heard him going through cabinets then water running, four minutes later Murdoc came back with a damp wash cloth in his hand. He kneeled down in front of the blue haired man; he cupped his face with one hand and used the other to gently wipe the blood from his face.

"I might as well wash yew up since yew won't seem to do it."

"Yew never answered my question."

"Er right, wot question again?"

"Why does it bother yew so much that I'm in love with yew?"

"Yew aren't supposed to be in love with me, nobody is." The older man answered simply.

It seemed like it was supposed to be such an obvious answer.

"I tol' yew I don't want to be in love with yew, I hate yer guts."

Murdoc grinned exposing his sharp teeth.

"Yew really 'ave been getting yer attitude from me."

In a way it seemed like for years now Murdoc had been molding 2D into something he wanted, like a younger version of himself. Yet he didn't want this younger version of himself to care about him, especially love him.

"Do yew care about me, at all?"

Murdoc placed the cloth on the floor and removed his hand from 2D's face.

"Yeah of course I do, yew know that."

"No I don't; why would I know that? Yew beat me up, yew demean me, an' threaten me. I don't get 'ow yew actually care about me, I don't think yew know wot care means."

The older man looked a bit hurt by what 2D had said.

"I'm not great with this crap, with feeling, or showing that I feel. Nobody ever cared about me, that's how it's always been. I know I care about yew, because….I just know, I've known ever since yew tried to kill yerself. If I didn't care I would 'ave just let yew die, I wouldn't 'ave saved yew. Yew haven't got a clue 'ow much that scared me, 'ow much I fucking hate myself for pushing yew to that. I've fucked yew up, I have fucked yew up on every level and every aspect….I don't know wot to say or wot to do. I'm never going to be able to give yew wot yew need, want or deserve. Just leave it at that, yeah?"

"Nothing changes then?"

"I'm not going to hit yew anymore, I can't; I'm reminding myself too much of my father. I-I want to keep yew safe, especially from myself."

2D took hold of Murdoc's hand squeezing gently.

"I love yew Mu'doc, I'm really worried 'bout yew."

"Don't, I told yew before that's a waste."

"I don't care."

Murdoc looked into the younger man's eyes, he smiled nervously.

"I'm never going to love yew back, yew know that right?"

2D nodded; he knew, he'd always known that. Hearing those words hurt like Hell, but at least they were talking and for the first time in years Murdoc was looking and acting like he used to. The way he used to be years before this horrible island and all of the demons, back when things were kind of okay. 2D leaned forward kissing him; Murdoc placed a hand on the singer's cheek. The older man broke away from the kiss; he ran his fingers back through 2D's hair.

"I'll protect yew, I promise."

He sat down next to the blue haired man; 2D rested his head on Murdoc's shoulder. He closed his eyes smiling softly, little moments of happiness. No matter how small or painful they really were they were still moments, they were his moments and he took as many as he could get.