AN: Hey, folks. I kind of wrote this in attempt to take a suggestion for my writing - which was to work on a challenge or something of the sort. I was considering giving up writing fanfiction altogether (because I haven't been happy with anything that I've written in quite some time), but a few friends on LJ helped keep me afloat and give me hope that I could still write (even if my mind is used to RP formats). So, I'm going to try. I haven't updated this challenge in awhile, but I hope you enjoy this installment.

Fic Summary: The story was over. And reality wasn't nearly as forgiving.

Disclaimer: Princess Tutu and all of its characters do not belong to me and I am making no profit with this work of fiction.

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101 Kisses - Theme #83: Pillar of Strength

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New Beginning

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It was going to be a wonderful day.

Ahiru could feel it to the very tips of her toes. And the tiny appendages almost seemed to tingle with that thought as she grinned lop-sidedly down at them.

Her first full day as a girl again. The redhead was so excited that she could hardly contain herself. She would be able to dance! She would get to see her friends! She could talk, and smile, and laugh and...

It hadn't occurred to her until now just how many things she had missed. Her routine as a duck was normal and she had been content with it. Or so she had insisted to herself. Because she couldn't be selfish. Fakir kept his promise - and he had visited her every single day without fail. There was no reason for her to be unhappy.

But she still felt bad now that her humanity was unexpectedly returned. After all, Fakir told her that this wasn't his doing - he had not written a thing about her. And he seemed really worried about it. She supposed she should be, too, especially after what they had gone through with Drosselmeyer's story.

And yet here she was grinning with barely contained enthusiasm for everything that awaited her. Another stab of guilt relentlessly poked inside of her heart at that thought, but she stubbornly suppressed it. If she was happy... and nothing strange happened... then Fakir would be all right with it too, wouldn't he?

Yeah! She just had to prove that there was nothing dangerous or weird going on and then everything would be fine!

With that thought, she leaned over the edge of her familiar dorm room bunk and hopped off the edge, spreading her arms like she could fly---

Only to have her left foot slip when she reached the floor, sending the petite girl flailing in a mess of awkward limbs until she landed none-too-gently on her back, head hitting the wood with an audible thunk.

"Owwww..." the duck-girl moaned as she rubbed her the back of her head with a set of scratching fingers. "Okay so maybe that wasn't a good idea..."

Lifting back up to her feet, she straightened her nightgown and then turned her gaze toward the window. A smile curled onto her lips as she skipped over to it, throwing the panes open with a cheerful, "Good morning!"

Met by silence, she blinked in confusion, searching for bird friends. Not a single chirp of greeting or nearby echo of a song reached her ears. Ahiru frowned - and then it dawned on her. Of course the birds weren't going to be here! How silly could she be? It had been a long time since she stayed here and fed them. Naturally they wouldn't hang around if there was no one there to feed them.

And yet Ahiru still felt an inexplicable pang of disappointment.

"No, no, no!" she chided herself instantly, shaking her head frantically back and forth with unnecessary force. "It's a great day! Nothing can change that!"

Pumping a fist into the air, she nodded with a new determination.

Absolutely nothing could ruin this day for her! It was a new beginning!

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By the end of the end of the day, Ahiru could not scrounge up any more smiles or even a passing positive thought. And she was exhausted from trying.

Too put it bluntly, the entire span of events from sunrise to sunset had been a disaster. Not one single thing had gone right. Or even kind of right. Or even a little right.

First she had managed to trip on her way to class. That was to be expected with her clumsiness, she supposed, but somehow her books and ballet shoes had managed to slip from the clutch under her arm and fly an impressive ten feet in the air before landing directly into the sculpted fountain in the middle of the courtyard. Her face had kissed the ground, clothes became covered in grass and dirt stains, and still she plastered a smile on her lips, ignoring the staring onlookers as she lifted herself up with a sheepish laugh and retrieved her water-logged possessions.

She assured herself that it would be fine if she explained to the teacher what happened. But again, the redhead couldn't have been more mistaken. Not only had the instructor (and old, strict-looking woman who was nothing like her former ballet teacher) lectured her excessively about taking care of school property, but she had been excused from the class entirely for the day and sent to the main office to get herself new books and replace her shoes. Which, upon explaining herself to the administration, she was asked to pay for. And couldn't. And she tried to explain that she didn't have parents or a guardian - but unlike how easy-going everyone had been during the story, all she received now were skeptical looks and creased brows with condescending frowns. They interrogated her, and were more than shocked to hear that she had simply walked into a dorm room and slept there. Nor were they happy that she had proceeded to show up for classes without being properly registered. They threatened to send her to an orphanage - and she had been so frightened of the thought of leaving Kinkan that she turned and ran out the door, ignoring the voices that called after her.

It was nothing like she remembered. Everyone was so strict and proper and following rules she never heard about before! Fakir had given her the old school uniform, and her books, and her ballet slippers. She thought that was all that she needed. It was all she needed before.

Ahiru had kept running until she came to a secluded area between two of the Academy's buildings, as far from the offices as she could get without actually leaving the grounds. And it was there that she perked up again upon spotting something very familiar. Two girls walked right by, one with blonde hair in pigtails and the other with her pink hair pinned up into a bun. They were talking animatedly with one another and the redhead recognized them instantly.

Pique and Lilie!

Stumbling forward, she nearly called out to them---words that caught in her throat when the two girls turned their attention to her. There was no recognition in their eyes, like she had expected. And they were actually kind of looking at her...unpleasantly.

Forcing herself not to be deterred, Ahiru flashed her brightest smile. "Um--hi! I'm Ahiru! I guess you could say I'm new--"

Lilie then interrupted in a burst of a sudden fit of giggles, startling Ahiru with the noise, and turned to eagerly whisper into Pique's ear. But the words were easily distinguishable through her shrill voice as her gleeful green gaze riveted on the roughed-up redhead - almost as if she wanted her to hear them.

"Look, Pique! Look! Her clothes and her hair... she must be some desperate little poor girl who stole a uniform so she could pretend to be like us! Isn't it tragic?! Just imagine what will happen when she gets caught!"

Ahiru had colored in embarrassment. She wanted to protest. She wanted to ask if it was a joke. But all she managed to do was bite her trembling lip as she turned tail and ran away from them without looking back. And she kept on running until she was completely out of breath, until she couldn't move her legs any longer, until she couldn't hear that laughter ringing through her head...

This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Why did the school change? Why did her friends forget her?

The duck-girl had felt tears well up in her eyes, but refused to let them fall. It just had to be a misunderstanding, right? After everything got worked out, it would be perfectly fine. She'd get properly registered and figure things out and...

Fakir. That's who she needed to see! He would know what to do. He would know how to handle this. And... he still remembered who she was. He accepted her, even when she was just a duck.

Spirits renewed, Ahiru had set out on her new mission: finding Fakir.

And it hadn't taken long. His dark-haired and constantly-frowning self rounded the corner of the writing division's building, making a beeline in the direction of the library. Ahiru's blue eyes had lit up with delight at the sight of him, her feet floundering over the grass of the massive courtyard as she rushed to catch up to him.

"Fakir!" she had called, waving one hand in the air and smiling broadly. "Fakir! Wait up! I need to talk to you!"

He had stiffened and paused mid-step, taking only one brief glance back at her before he tore his eyes away, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and quickened his pace toward the library without a word.

Ahiru had still been standing there frozen in shock even after the doors had closed behind him.

Somehow Fakir's casual dismissal of her was more painful than anything else had been. She had been so sure that she could count on him no matter what. And as if the crush the last of her hope, he had turned away from her.

And now, as the last of the fading sunlight sunk out of sight, she found herself aimlessly walking through the town, eyes lowered down to her feet. There was nowhere she could go. She wasn't allowed in the dorms, and she couldn't bring herself to try to face Fakir again, either.

Nowhere she belonged. Not as a human girl.

"Hey, you! Watch out!" Startled by the angry voice, Ahiru yelped and jumped out of the way just as a cart full of heavy flour sacks came barreling by her. The plump, middle-aged man pushing it stalled just long enough to send her a glower. "Yer gonna get run over if ya keep dazing off in da middle of da street like that!"

"I'm sorry!" she squeaked.

And for the third time that day, she sprinted off again. But unlike before, this time she knew where she was headed.

Her pumping legs carried her all the way to lake on the outskirts of town - the place she had lived for many months as a duck after the story ended. Twilight glistened over its calm waters, lapping gently up against the little grassy cliff beside it. Panting from her wild dash, Ahiru dropped right down to her knees by the bank. Her reflection greeted her from waters below, showing her the image of a redheaded girl with a freckled face, and large blue irises filled to the brim with unshed tears.

I want to be a duck again. That's the real me. That's the only me.

The surface of the water rippled with the single droplet that fell from her chin, blurring out the young girl's sorrowful reflection.

Was this her punishment for being selfish? For taking what she had before for granted?

"I'm such and idiot..." she whispered aloud, fingers clenching into the ground.

"Yes, you are."

The unexpected voice from behind nearly sent her face-first down into the water in surprise. Ahiru quickly struggled to regain her balance and prevented the fall, but she couldn't bring herself to turn around. She recognized that voice. Why was he here? She didn't want him to see her like this!

"It's getting dark," he continued despite her lack of response, taking a step closer to her hunched form. "What are you doing out here?"

There was a stretch of silence that followed before she answered almost in monotone, "This is where I belong. I'm just a duck."

A sudden brisk wind blew over the lake and she rocked back on her feet, hands instinctively rising to grasp in a crossed pattern over her arms as she shuddered involuntarily.

"Are you cold?"

"No," she answered immediately, dropping her hands back to the ground.

There was a rustling noise from just beyond her, followed by a few footfalls upon the grass. And her vision was abruptly blacked out as something landed on her head and covered her eyes.

"Liar. I can hear your teeth chattering. Put that on."

She slowly pulled the heavy cloth down, allowing the thick material to fall around her shoulders. The warmth did feel kind of nice. She unconsciously snuggled closer into the coat, tugging the sleeves down to drape in front of her. Ahiru thought to thank him, but the words would not fall from her lips.

Another awkward silence ensued, until she heard him sigh and saw his shadow slip in next to hers as he lowered to sit beside her.

"Are you going to stop being a moron and tell me what's wrong?"

That wasn't concern in his voice, she insisted to herself. That was just what she wanted to hear. And everything she had dared to hope for the best in over the course of the day turned out horribly wrong.

"Tell me," he prompted firmly.

She shifted a little to the side, able to feel the weight of his gaze on her as he waited. There was something she needed to ask of him. Whether he turned away or denied her of it or not, he was the only one who could grant her that single guilt-ridden wish in her heart right now. And she had to ask.

Ahiru ducked her head down a little to hide behind the folds of the coat, brushing her fingertips into the blades of grass by her leg. "Fakir," she spoke softly, miraculously keeping her voice steady. "I know you weren't the one who changed me back to a girl, but... do you think you could turn me into a duck again?"

His thick swallow and wide-eyed look of surprise were lost to her. "Is that what you want?"

She chuckled, but the light-hearted mirth normally present within the sound was missing. "Pretty weird, huh? I was so excited this morning and then..." She trailed off and bit her lip, taking a careful breath before continuing. "I guess I realized it wasn't meant to be. You were right about being my true self. I don't belong this way. This isn't a story anymore."

"I'm sorry."

Her head jerked up from the bundle of cloth. "Huh?"

"I avoided you. Deliberately. And even when you said you needed to talk to me, I ignored you."

"Oh." Right. That. But she didn't want him to worry about it. She didn't want to trouble him or make him feel guilty. Asking for a story was enough already. "It was nothing special! Ahaha! You don't need to apologize for that. I was just going to bother you about something silly and I'm sure you had work to do and you were in a hurry to get to the library and--"

She gasped when his fingers took hold of her chin and veered her head to the side to face him directly. "Stop hiding it, Ahiru. Tell me what happened." The words were serious, almost a demand - but the soft luster of concern in the reaches of his green eyes was undeniable.

He did care. She wasn't making it up to make herself feel better. Now that she could see his expression in plain view, the answer was obvious. And knowing that-- seeing it right in front of her -- broke the last few boards holding the flood back. All at once, tears poured in fresh cascades down from her eyes, moistening skin all the way down to the fingers that held her in place.

His expression turned almost horrified and he instantly dropped his hand from her face. "W-What the hell happened? Were you hurt? Why are you--"

"I was scared!" she burst out on a sob, one set of her small fingers burying into the fabric covering his nearest arm as she leaned her damp eyes right into the cloth just above. "E-Everyone was so mean and different and they were going to send me away and Pique and Lilie didn't know me and my books got all wet and I couldn't give them money and they were mad about the dorm and--"

"S-Slow--Slow down, moron!" he stammered, near-flailing at the girl sobbing into his arm. "You're not making any sense!"

She sniffled and clutched him tighter. "I-I'm so sorry. I didn't listen to you about the story at all. I was just happy and I didn't think about coserquences."

"Consequences," he corrected as he lifted his hands to rest on her shoulders, pushing her back far enough to meet her tear-streamed face. "And I owe you an explanation."

She merely blinked back at him in confusion.

"Look, I..." he turned to look at the water briefly, sighing in deep before he laid his eyes back upon hers. "I lied to you. That story was mine."

Her cerulean eyes broadened at the revelation. "It...It was? But--"

"It was an accident," he stated bitterly. "I didn't mean for it to change you, but somehow it did. And I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth. So I avoided you and tried to figure out a way to fix it on my own."

She thought she saw guilt flash through his eyes before he lowered his head, dark hair obscuring her view. Carefully, Ahiru removed her grip from the creases of his shirt and tipped his chin back up. "It made me happy," she said sincerely. "I know I took the things you left me and went to the dorms right away--but that was because I was excited. There was... so much I wanted to see again. And I couldn't wait."

Green eyes widened just a fraction. "You weren't---that wasn't an act?"

"An...an act?" she questioned incredulously, tilting her head to the side.

"You were way too cheerful to be normal. And then you ran off. I thought you were trying to hide that you were upset about what happened."

"Oh! Gosh..." she pulled the hand from his face and let it join the other to fidget in her lap. "Is that what it seemed like? I guess I really shouldn't have just taken off like that. But I felt guilty about being happy when you were worried, and..."

She blinked as the warmth of one larger hand secured down upon both of hers. "You still want me to write, don't you? To turn you back?"

"I..." Ahiru felt a wetness collect along the edges of her dried eyes again. If he was being honest now... she had better be honest with him, too. "I... I don't. I want to be a girl. But... can I be a girl?" Her watery gaze pleaded silently, hands tensing under his grip. "Are we breaking rules? Is it wrong? I don't want to be a burden to you!"

He silenced her with a single finger to her lips. "You're not a burden to me, idiot."

She wriggled one hand out from his and pulled the digit away from her mouth, protesting, "But--!"

"Have you forgotten what I promised you?"

It was voiced softly, barely a whisper, but the duck-girl stilled instantly from the rare tender look in his eyes and gave a tiny shake of her head. There was no way she could ever forget those words.

"This won't be easy," he spoke slowly, releasing her other hand to curl his calloused fingertips into the flyaway red fringe alongside her face. "You said it yourself - this isn't a story any longer." He paused, moving his hand far enough to allow his thumb to brush underneath her eye, removing the trace of liquid that had built up there. "But you're not alone in this reality, either."

Ahiru closed her eyes, reaching both sets of her own fingers to hold his hand to her face. "Thank you," she murmured quietly.

I'm weak. But Fakir makes the weak me stronger. Always.

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AN: Sap sap sap. And some angst. I know. I can't help it. I needed it. And it's been a long time since I wrote anything like this.

And um... don't kill me, Pique and Lilie fans! I'm sure they'll warm up to Ahiru again. I've just seen a lot of fics where it was instant recognition or warmth, and I thought I would change that a little to show the difference between Ahiru's views of fantasy as opposed to a cold reality she didn't understand.

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.