Thanks to Prongywong, RockingouttoPinkFloyd and BrokenSnow.X for your reviews :)
As requested, Lily isn't in this one :D
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, disclaimer: It isn't my stuff, it's JKR's. Bla bla bla :DDIVINATION
I can't believe you did that, Padfoot.
Well, believe it! 'Cos it happened.
Why…
I didn't know she would ban dogs from the Three Broomsticks!
Why did you do it, though?
Do you really need an answer to that?
But come on, surely even YOU could see that it was going to end badly.
Nope. Not a clue. I go with my manly instincts.
I can see that. Sticking your head up Rosmerta's skirt, yes, very manly.
Like I said, I didn't know she'd ban dogs from the Three Broomsticks JUST for that!
Just! You practically raped the woman!
Okay, now that is going a LITTLE bit too far, Moony. All I did, was have a little peek up her skirt.
You stuck your fat head right up there! Thank Merlin nobody but us knows that you're an Animagus.
Yeah. But James found it hilarious! Why can't you be more like him?
Because I am not an idiot
Whatever. It sucks that I'm not allowed back into the Three Broomsticks now, though.
You are as a human!! Anyway, we need to get back to Divination.
I hate this stupid subject, why did we have to take it?
I know. I wish I'd taken Ancient Runes with Prongs and Wormtail.
Ugh! Ancient Runes? I don't know what's worse.
I certainly do.
That Trelawney girl is such a freak! Whenever I say anything, she always repeats it loudly as if you're too thick to hear!
I know. Why did she sit on our table, anyway? We don't even know her!
Maybe she fancies me.
Or MAYBE she has no friends. Not everything in the world revolves around YOU.
Okay, okay, calm down! Anyway, I'm hungry.
You're ALWAYS hungry! I wish I didn't take this STUPID lesson with STUPID you.
Okay, another list coming along (I haven't actually done one in ages!)
1). I am NOT always hungry; I'm currently going through a growth spurt.
2). I am not stupid. And you're rather mean.
3). CALM DOWN.
4). You have never used such bad grammar, personally, Moony I am ASHAMED.
You ALWAYS write lists. You have been going through the same growth spurt for the past four years. I am not mean, and you are definitely stupid. I am calm now. What the hell gives YOU the right to be ashamed? I have much better grammar than you!
It happens to be a very long growth spurt, and you are by no means CALM. You should look up the word calm, and it will say, quite clearly: THIS MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT DESCRIBE REMUS LUPIN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MOONY. I was merely pointing out that your grammar is quite bad, seeing as it is usually good. I rely on your grammar to be good.
Why would the dictionary know my nickname?
What's a dictionary?
It's a muggle thing. Look it up.
WHERE? Where should I go to 'look it up'? I am clueless.
LOOK IT UP IN A DICTIONARY. And, if you don't know where to 'look it up', why are you telling me to? And how would you know what it said if you didn't know where to find it?
I CAN'T LOOK UP DICTIONARY IN A DICTIONARY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT A DICTIONARY IS! You are just confusing me now, Moony. Mr. Padfoot thinks that Mr. Moony is being rather silly.
Mr. Moony thinks that Mr. Padfoot is being rather hypocritical.
Oh, Merlin. Not another word I don't flipping understand!
Hahahaha.
You're evil.
Hahahaha.
Shut the HELL up!
I'm not saying anything.
Yes you were! You were saying 'hahahaha' again and again and AGAIN.
No. I wrote it.
I hate you.
The feeling's mutual
I refuse to write anymore.
Yay!
Grrrrr.
I thought you weren't writing? And stop giving me evils!
ANCIENT RUNES
Wormtail, PLEASE write to me! It's so boring just writing by myself!
Stop taking notes! Answer MY note!
You are SO gay, Peter, I can SEE you reading my last note!
Just reply already! Pleasseeeeeeeee? Stop paying attention to the class!
Be a rebel! Be just like me! :)
Nothing seems to be working. You suck, Peter. Padfoot SO would have replied to my notes by now. He would have started them! Heck, even Moony would reply! You're nothing like us; you don't deserve to be a marauder!
Ooh, you seem to be writing something on the note! Woo hoo we HAVE progress!
Hey, Prongs.
So what was it?
What was what?
The thing that got you to start talking, I bet it was the marauder thing…
I don't know what you're talking about.
Or maybe the whole 'you suck' thing…
It was the whole saying that Sirius would have replied.
What? I really didn't think that would work…
It did. I already KNOW you prefer the others to me; you don't have to tell me all the time.
I don't, I don't… prefer them… I just…
Don't worry. I got over it in like, second year. And it's pretty obvious you're siding with Sirius.
Yeahhh… I wonder what Sirius and Remus are doing right now…
See! Always being distracted by them! Always comparing me to them! Always wishing they were here when I am! Hmph.
DIVINATION
Okay, fine, I'll write.
Ohww.
Don't be so mean. Anyway, I don't know how Prongs stands it.
What? FYI, if this were another comment about my personal hygiene, I'd prefer if you didn't voice your opinions on that one.
What's 'FYI'? And, it wasn't, but now you mention it, you do have a tendency to-
Shut up!
Okay. I'll just laugh about it with Prongs later. Anyway, I was actually talking about Pettigrew. I don't know how I'd stand a lesson all alone with him.
You take CoMC with him alone!
WHAT? I'm not 'alone' in CoMC! I have plenty of girls who are willing to cater to my every need.
You mean, hand you a mirror when you want it and giggle at every stupid thing you say.
I'd prefer it if they didn't giggle, actually. It gets a bit annoying… Anyway, when you said 'every stupid thing you say', did you mean every STUPID thing I say, as in, only the stupid things, or every stupid thing I say, as in everything I say is stupid?
Err… the second one.
Oh. Well, it may be rather rude, but it does make more sense. Why would they only giggle at the stupid things?
Anyway, we were talking about Care of Magical Creatures class…
Oh yeah. I'm not alone!
Well, you WERE that one time, when all the girls hated you…
Oh yeah! I think I dumped one of them, and they all ganged up against me!
When did they ever get over that, anyway?
They're all airheads, they'd forgotten about it by next lesson.
Why did they get angry with you THAT time, anyway, normally all the other girls get all excited and chanceful whenever you dump one of them?
Gosh, Moony, don't you remember? I'll tell it to you, narrator style, and third person…
It was around ten o'clock on a Sunday morning, and Sirius had not yet emerged from his dormitory. This was normal, for him, as he liked to get a bit of beauty sleep, hence why he's so beautiful-
Don't add in ridiculous, untrue comments like that.
S'not untrue! Stop reading over my shoulder, that's the whole point in NOTES and stop butting in! SHUT UP if you want to know the story!
Shutting up…
Anyway, so… where was… the narrator? Oh yes, Sirius was still in his dorm. Others in the common room, noticing the absence of his beautiful presence, did not worry, as it was usual for Sirius to have a bit of a lie-in.
How do you know what the others thought?
Improvising, Moony!
Pfft. You don't even know what that word MEANS.
But, however, his friends knew different. Sirius Black was sitting on his bed, drowning his sorrows, for he had a spot.
SIRIUS BLACK HAD A SPOT! OH MY MERLIN, HOW DID HE MANAGE?
Shut up, you were there! And oh my Merlin sounds so STUPID.
I know I was there, I remember! Why are you telling me the story if you know I know?
It's fun. Okay, so, where was I?
He had a spot. This was terrible news for Sirius, as he had never received one of these terrible, disgusting things before (he had perfect skin). He and his friends had tried everything, from strange muggle creams, and funny coloured potions in odd shaped bottles, and plants (supplied by none other than the wonderful Pomona). Nothing worked, and so Sirius was refusing to get out of the dorm, despite many failed attempts from his friends to get him out. Also, Sirius claimed that he shouldn't leave, anyway, as James rudely awaked him. Earlier that morning, James had spotted the spot (hehe) and cried "HOLY MOLY!" at the top of his voice. If it were not for this, Sirius would still be happily sleeping. Anyway, so when Remus asked Sirius why he didn't want to go outside, he replied with, "Because my girlfriends will dump me!"
"Don't be so silly, Padfoot!" James cried, "Everyone loves you!"
He did NOT say THAT.
Shut up, you oxymoron.
That doesn't even make SENSE!
"Yeah," Peter added pathetically, like the pathetic girl he is.
"Would you dump your girlfriends if they got a spot?" added Remus, comparing the situations rather unhelpfully.
"OF COURSE I BLOODY WOULD! Ugh! Spots! Ugh!" Sirius shouted, truthfully. Spots are rather disturbing. Sirius hates the stupid word 'spot'. Anyway, so his friends tutted at his supposed 'foolishness', and left him to wade through his worries alone.
Sirius eventually managed covered up his spot quite well, or so he thought, and make his way down to the Great Hall for a spot of breakfast. (Or, as everyone kept telling him, a late lunch). Anyway, so when he walked into the Great Hall, he was greeted by one of his girlfriends, Katie-
I thought you broke up by that time?
No, it was ages ago that this 'spot' incident happened.
Oh.
Now let me get back to my story, if you please.
So, Katie greeted him warmly, and they made their way over to the Gryffindor table. Sirius was horrified to see, once they had sat down, that Katie had a SPOT.
Ohhhhh, I remember COMPLETELY now. You were SO unfair.
Why, thank you, Remus.
So, Sirius was disgusted, bla bla bla. Later that day,
About ten minutes later, in fact.
Yeah, pretty much.
Anyway, so, later that day, Sirius was very unhappy (or so he made it look) to tell Katie that their relationship had to come to an end. He put a sombre look on his face and hoped that she'd lap it up. She, asked why and he panicked, he hadn't thought of an excuse! Dammit! He disgustedly told her the truth, which was that she had a repulsive, despicable infestation on her face. She burst into tears and screamed, "BUT YOU'VE GOT ONE, TOO!" and ran off sobbing.
She did NOT 'burst into tears' and she didn't scream.
PETTIGREW heard, and so did that DADA teacher, so she must have screamed. Anyway, she did cry a tiny bit.
Oh yeah, like, one tear.
One's enough. It still shows how heartbroken she was.
Once again, pfft!
Everybody heard what Katie had screamed, even the 'deaf' (whatever that was, but Remus seemed to apply it to these kind of situations) DADA teacher. By this point, the narrator has forgotten what he was trying to prove.
You were trying to prove why the girls were so angry.
Oh yeah. They thought Sirius was a 'filthy hypocrite, to say the least'. They got over it by the next day. The end.
Great story.
Why were we trying to prove why the girls were angry?
Because you said that the girls all loved you, and I reminded you about that one time, and I asked why…
Oh yeah. And why did I say that all the girls loved me? (Aside from the obvious, of course)
Because you were trying to prove that you were alone with Peter in CoMC, because you felt sorry for James, being along with Peter all the time in Ancient Runes. And, the obvious being…?
That I am amazing. And sexy. And handsome. And gorgeous. And snog-able. And amazing. And fantastic. And strikingly beautiful. And the most incredible-looking man on the planet.
And modest.
Speaking of James, I wonder what he and Pettigrew are up to.
WHAT THE HELL? When did I say 'big headed' or 'arrogant' or 'up himself'?
Now that's just plain horrid.
ANCIENT RUNES
Peter, PLEASE speak again? LIFE IS DULL, LIFE IS GAY, LIFE IS SAD, AND LIFE IS BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I AM BORRRRRRRREEEEEED.
PLEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE REPLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
No.
WHAT? YOU JUST DID! YOU- AR- I- GR- YOU- oh well, end of lesson now. And by the way, I am on Sirius' side, I don't forgive you, and you suck. I was just bored. Seeya, Pettigrew.
Hehehe.
Review please :D