Chapter Thirteen
Journal,
I think I'm stuck. Not how Ronald is stuck, in the past and hating everything and everyone that hurt him or everyone else back then. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Voldemort to come back. Or something equally as bad. Life is great, right now. I've got Rose, and Ron… and I'm four months pregnant. I couldn't be happier. I'm helping the world to be a better place for magical creatures and stigmatised individuals like the werewolves. But life seems to be working out way too well, and I can't help but be paranoid. What is going to happen to ruin what we have?
He might not know it, but Draco really helped. I was not expecting an apology at all from him; he's challenged my assumptions from the start of this experiment, and I'm glad. He's a good father to his son, and he's making efforts with us that I thought he would never attempt. At the moment, he's much braver than I am.
HGW
Journal,
Talking about leaving Ginny and everyone else was so hard. I've never felt so sorry in my whole life. She was crying so much. She hardly ever cries. So you know when she cries, it's bad. Leaving her was so, so, hard. Feeling her shaking in my arms, her tears sliding down my neck, ten years after the fact, is even harder. Because it means somewhere, deep down, that she hasn't really forgiven me for it. That it's still affecting her now. It's causing her so much pain… I don't know what to do.
HP
Dear Miss Donnelly,
I finally get why Harry and Hermione were avoiding me while I was dating Lavender. It all makes sense now. At first I was all like "I'm happy, why aren't they?" But now I really get it. And I feel awful. If I'd gotten my head out of my arse long enough I would have realised so much sooner about my feelings for Hermione. And her feelings for me. I mean, we're together now, but all that drama wouldn't have happened. It was all unnecessary. I visit Lavender's grave sometimes. Leave flowers. I don't think Hermione knows that I do that. Lavender might have been rather clingy, but she was just happy; when she was happy, she was clingy. That's it. Thinking back, now that she's gone, I was happy to be a contributing factor to her happiness for a time.
Until next time,
RW
Ginny stood in front of Harry's house, the one his parents had died in, and stared at the damage that had never been repaired.
"Harry has gone through so much in his life. Losing his parents… losing Cedric… losing Dumbledore. Then realising that he had to willingly die to save everybody else. It's just so unfair to him. He was just a kid. But I am happy we were able to talk things through. We understand each other even better than I thought we did. It's made us stronger. And it helps, to see how sorry he was about leaving, I mean, I knew at the time that he was sorry, but to still see that remorse, years later. It really does help. This will help in coming to terms with that night."
Kumbaya Experiment,
I didn't expect to feel guilty. I realise that sounds cold. At school, I never really thought about how… potentially damaging my actions had been. I also never thought I would be seeing any of them again. I had no reason to think about them anymore, unless I saw them in the paper, which actually wasn't as often as I thought I would. But seeing Granger looking so bloody terrified at the prospect of just talking about what happened at the Manor, or in school – it struck me. The guilt did. I'm part of the reason she's afraid to talk about it, I think. I have my own fair share of guilt where she's concerned, too. I never meant to hurt her, really. When I was a kid, it was just fun to poke fun at her. She was so easily riled up. Then at the Manor… when Aunt Bella was carving those words into her arm… it was just a reaffirmation of what I'd been taunting her with since she was eleven, wasn't it? I am a horrible person. I wish I had never learned that word.
Draco Lucius Malfoy.
A/N: So here's the next chapter! I will post the next one, as well. I've blocked those pesky nitpickers, so I just wanted to say THANK YOU to those of you who've sent me PM's in support and who have given me respectful reviews since my last not-chapter. Those words of encouragement were definitely what I needed.
Can I just rant, for a moment? I normally wouldn't, but it's just been getting ridiculous.
This is FANfiction - I am writing something that hasn't been written about or covered by JKR. Apart from the jobs these characters aspired to and the children that they had (thanks HP wiki) we don't really know a whole lot about what happened between the penultimate chapter of HP7 and the Epilogue. So we don't really know what would constitute as canon in that regard, do we? If it were canon, I would just be reiterating what JKR wrote, and would therefore be plaigiarism, not fanfiction. What's more, is that Draco was not a main, main character in the books, therefore we do not know about his inward thoughts. But I do know that if he for one moment enjoyed or was proud of being a Death Eater, he would have had no bones with IDing HP and crew when they were brought to the Manor and summoning Voldemort. But he hesitated, and did not ID HP. In a way, he saved their lives. He is just one of the characters I am exploring in this, because I'm curious as to how he might have matured as an adult, and a parent. As for the other characters, yes, they all had issues with Malfoy, and I am trying my hardest to cover all the bases here. I know where this fic is going (there are about 10 more chapters planned, at least) so if I haven't covered something in one chapter, I am probably saving it for another. Sorry, just needed to get that out there. I really want to write this to the end on here, since there is a bt of a following to this and I don't want to let you guys down. Please, keep those reviews coming! They are what motivate me to write, and I definitely need them after this two week long debacle of people who don't understand how fanfiction works.
Replies to (respectful) reviews:
Katopris9: Thanks for your words of encouragement, I really appreciate it!
Next chapter, coming on up, people!