I don't own Rizzoli and Isles, but I wish I did.

A/N: I know this is short, but I wanted to get an update out to y'all. Please forgive any mistakes. I really appreciate that y'all are reading and enjoying this. Heads up: Some violence mentioned.

"I killed him."

Jane stared down at her hands as she rubbed her wrist with her thumb. All the memories filling her mind made her feel as if she was drowning.

"I know it was self-defense and that he would have probably tried to attack his girlfriend next, but that doesn't change the fact that I killed a man." Jane propped her forearms on her thighs.

"As police officers, we are trained to go with our instincts." Maura nodded encouraging Jane to continue.

"Prior to that night, I had never killed anyone." Jane leaned back in her seat rubbing her hands on her thighs.

"I had to shoot and incapacitate a perp before, but it was nothing more than that." Jane pulled her hand through her hair.

Jane turned haunted eyes towards the doctor that screamed for her understanding. "Shooting someone point blank…" Jane trailed off.

Maura gently rubbed her hand on Jane's back.

"I could feel the impact of the bullets entering his body and the spray of his blood cover me."

Jane glanced down at her wrist. " I was bleeding so much, Maur'."

Jane gave a mirthless laugh. "There was so much blood that I couldn't tell if it was his or mine. I had never seen so much blood in my life."

The pained eyes of the former police officer ripped at Maura's heart.

Maura reached out tentatively for Jane's trembling hands.

The doctor pressed her warm lips to Jane's wrist softly kissing the scar as she moved Jane's hand to cup her cheek. Maura held Jane's hand there only letting it go once she had kissed her palm.

"Is this the reason you no longer play?" Maura looked in the direction of the piano and back to Jane.

"Yes," Jane choked out. "How can I ever make something so beautiful with hands that did something so ugly?" Tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.

"I respect you, Jane, and I refuse to spout off platitudes that you have most likely heard countless times. But I will say this. Your hands are not those of a killer, Jane."

Maura's voice was filled with genuine conviction. "You are a woman who survived a vicious attack and reacted the way you were trained to do."

Maura paused. "I've seen what a killer's hands can do, and it's not what you did."

Taking a deep breath Maura let it out slowly as she prepared to share with Jane what she had been avoiding.

"Jane, I didn't give you the full reason for why I gave up pathology." The brunette focused her attention on the doctor.

"Do you remember the story last year about the family of five who were found butchered in their home?"

Jane furrowed her brow and in a voice rough with emotion replied, "Yes, it was incredibly gruesome. It was all over the news."

Maura steeled herself to face the memories again. "I was the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, so naturally the case fell to me."

Despite the somber circumstances, Jane was incredibly impressed with the doctor.

Maura gave Jane a smile in acknowledgement before she continued, "As you said, the murders were incredibly gruesome."

Maura shuddered. "Completing autopsies on children is hard enough as it is, but completing them when the children had been murdered so violently is something entirely different."

"It was too much." She wrapped her arms around herself. "After the police had apprehended the murderer, I gave my resignation. Experiences like that one changes a person." Maura admitted softly, "It changed me."

Jane felt the raw emotion rolling off of the blonde.

Maura took Jane's hands into her lap and looked her straight in the eye. "Your hands, Jane, are not the hands of a killer."

Jane removed her hands and cupped Maura's face between them. Dark chocolate eyes met rich hazel ones.

"I love you."

Jane never meant those words more than she did at the moment.

"I know," Maura smiled softly.

"I love you, too." Maura poured all her love into the lingering kiss she shared with the brunette.

R & I R & I R & I

The two women laid cuddled on the couch following the emotional catharsis they had just shared.

Jane and Maura decided to shelve any more serious discussion for the night and instead wanted to focus on the comfort they shared with one another.

"Maura, I meant it when I said you were a natural," Maura turned in Jane's arms kissing the brunette on the neck.

"I know you did. Thank you." Maura winked.

"So, how about those sexual favors we talked about earlier?" Jane raised her eyebrow and grinned wolfishly at the doctor.

"Jane!" Just like last time, Maura smacked Jane on the arm.

"You can't blame a girl for trying," Jane pretended to pout.

"But I can reward her," Maura winked as she disentangled herself from Jane's arms.

Jane looked a little confused, "What are you up to, Maur'?"

"Eh, just this," the doctor replied gently pulling up her skirt enough for her to straddle the brunette.

The doctor wrapped her arms around Jane's neck as Jane's hands moved to grip Maura's hips.

"Whatcha doin', Doctor?" A broad grin was spreading across Jane's face.

"I thought I'd pick up where we left off earlier this evening." Maura whispered heavily in Jane's ear.

"Just to give you an idea…" Maura rolled her hips into Jane's.

"I'm going to run my hands over your toned abs." Maura slipped her hands under Jane's shirt and started to trace her abs with her delicate fingers.

"Bite your neck." The doctor gave Jane several sharp nips where Jane's neck met her shoulder.

Then Maura moved so close to Jane that they were sharing the same air.

"Kiss you hard." The doctor shoved her tongue deep inside Jane's mouth sucking on her lower lip as she pulled back.

"And then…" Maura pulled back looking Jane dead in the eye.

"Yeah?" Jane liked where this was going.

"I'm going to spank you!" Maura smacked the side of her butt to illustrate her point.

"Wait! What?!" Jane's face registered utter shock.

Maura tried to keep a straight face, but Jane's reaction was too much. When the brunette realized the doctor was kidding, the two women burst into giggles.

"Oh," Jane chuckled, "you are bad." The brunette wiped a tear from her eye.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I just couldn't help myself." Maura held her stomach which was hurting from laughing too much.

"Come here." Jane pulled the honey blonde down to lie on top of her.

"Just kiss me."

Maura happily complied.

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