12,000+ views O.O Wow...thanks guys! Short again. Whoops...Enjoy!

1wildrose1 .. x

Rating: NC-17
Pairing (s): Cloud/Reno, Zack/Cloud, eventual Zack/Reno and Zack/Reno/Cloud
Disclaimer: I don't own the Final Fantasy franchise or any of the characters.
Summary: We all knew that one day it would get to him – he'd been through too much for it not to. But this? Cloud needs help, and there's only one person I can think of that can get through to him – I'll save you, Cloud, even if it means raising the dead. Yaoi

Warnings:Lemons of both a hetero and slash nature, possibletriggers and mentions of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

Chapter Fourteen

Dr. Howell put him on anti-depressants.

He still wasn't coping. Apparently.

It took a lot of questions before she decided which ones were appropriate because of the side effects and how they would affect him. She said that she needed to know about his previous coping methods. That's how the conversation led to his self-harming. It's not like he ever did it habitually. Just sometimes – when he was particularly low and on the verge of giving up. The small punishment stopped him from going over the edge.

It wasn't a big deal.

Dr Howell disagreed.

She said that it was important that he stopped. He told her that he would try. She told him that he should tell Tifa.

Cloud disagreed.

The session was trying for him – more so than usual – and he found himself absently running his thumbnail over the thin scars on the inside of his left arm whilst sitting in his typical cross-armed stance. The lines were crossed and jagged, spread widely around to the outside of his biceps and down nearly to his forearm. They were quite extensive, but the older ones had faded to white over the years – the newer ones were more hidden on the inner part that he was currently scratching, ignoring the sharp shocks of pain that resulted from the action. It was easy to pass them off as a result of geostigma.

Dr. Howell's eyes followed the action but said nothing, simply making a note on her clipboard.

"We have known each other for nearly two months now, Cloud." The doctor said, tapping her pen on her chin thoughtfully. "While I believe that our chats have helped you relax and accept some things about yourself, there has been no progress in regards to regaining your sight and I believe that you need further treatment."

Cloud frowned severely. "So pills are your answer?"

The woman kept her calm, soothing tone. Just like Aerith's. "Medication is one direction that we're going in, yes, but I also want to try a newly developed treatment to tackle some of the deeper problems." Dr. Howell paused for a moment – when Cloud didn't respond, she continued. "I believe that you have repressed many of your more traumatic memories in addition to them being lost as a result of your exposure to high levels of Mako and we need to bring them to light in order to help you."

The man before her huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "To be honest, I'm quite happy not to remember a lot of things. I can't see how dragging my memories up can help."

"I understand your hesitance, but I really think this is where your problem lies." Leilah pressed her lips together, wondering how to broach this subject. It was very clear to her that Mr. Strife was suffering with some kind of delayed post-traumatic stress disorder as well as minor depression and a plethora of other problems – the man needed to have this treated, not only for his state of mind but for that of his family. However, there was something she wasn't convinced about. "I think at this point in time we have to face the possibility that your blindness may not be reversible, but we can try."

He wasn't really surprised, but a sick feeling rose up in his gut.

Blond eyebrows drew together as their owner bit his lip and considered his options – well, lack of options. He could be stubborn and insist that what they were doing was enough – after all, why on Gaia would he opt to revisit the most painful and soul destroying moments in his life without a gun to his head? – or he could accept her treatments and live with those images in his head while having no guarantee that he would get his sight back as a result.

He didn't know what to do.

"What..." He cleared his throat. "What does this treatment involve?"

"Well, in layman's terms it's kind of like a form of hypnosis, only a bit less controversial. A colleague of mine developed it using both Seal and Mystify materia – he found a way to combine the effects in order to put the patient in a trance and ask them questions that they are able to answer using their subconscious mind. If you have repressed or lost memories, there's a chance that they may still be retained in your subconscious mind." The doctor smiled at Cloud's puzzled features – she had a feeling that she may have lost him somewhere. "As I said before, it's a new development, but it has proven very successful with the few patients that have been subjected to it."

"Uh..." Hypnosis? Cloud almost refused on the spot. What if he reacted badly to a memory and attacked someone? He was too strong for most anyone to fight him off and it was very possible that he would seriously hurt someone. "Would I be able to move?"

Dr. Howell bit her lip, misunderstanding his concerns. "I know that you are reluctant to be out of control of a situation, Cloud, but it would be necessary to put you in sedate state."

He breathed a small sigh in relief, making the doctor raise an eyebrow in question. "Ah, okay. That's fine."

While she was curious as to why that would be a good thing to Cloud, she let it slide. "So you wish to try it?"

Did he? This may be his only chance to get his sight back. Was this worth being able to protect himself again? To...to see Denzel grin mischievously as he stole cookies behind Tifa's back? To watch Tifa roll her eyes in exasperation at Cloud's social blunders? To witness Marlene's face light up when Barret came into town?

To see Reno smile.

With a tiny gasp, Cloud realised something.

"I want to try." The blond nodded, holding his breath as he heard the scratching of Dr. Howell's pen.

Yes, he would have to confront his most horrific experiences, but...

He wouldn't be facing them alone.

XxXxXxXxXxX

The tea with their families had been tense, yes, but uneventful after the revelation of his fiancé's identity. Yuffie had knelt in her place at the table demurely, as expected, and as was silent as Tseng while their parents conversed and made plans. Over the next five days, all of their arranged meetings and 'dates' had been chaperoned by their parents constantly, so they were only able to discuss safe and appropriate topics, such as the weather and how much Wutai had changed over the years. However, today was Tseng's last day in Wutai – he was flying back to Junon that night – and their families had decided that the couple should spend some time alone to get to know each other and make a decision on whether or not to go through with the marriage.

That's how Tseng ended up sitting on a secluded bench overlooking the picturesque scenery on the bank of the River Wu, being berated and yelled at by his blushing bride to be. She seemed to have saved a few things for when they were alone.

"Of all people! How could they?" The girl strutted back and forth in front of Tseng, her hands furiously gripping the fabric of another kimono that her parents had insisted on her wearing, lifting the long skirts up so that she could angrily pace with ease. "This is damn ridiculous–!"

"If you would just calm down–"

"–'You're twenty years old Yuffie – it's time to settle down' – what kind of crap is that?–"

"–you would see that–"

"–twenty isn't even old any more! Those old sexist pigs are so outdated–"

"–they have a point about–"

"–and to a fuckin' Shinra drone on top of everything else–!"

"–bloodlines and connections–"

"–I mean, Gods – how much freaking older than me are you? You must be in your, like, forties or something!"

The vague point that Tseng was trying to make died on his tongue as he scoffed indignantly – forty?! "I'm thirty-one, for your information."

Yuffie stopped pacing and pinned him with a slightly shocked look. "Really?" She roved her eyes up and down his face. She supposed he was handsome, in a plain way – his straight black hair was shiny and his skin was pale and clear.

Stepping closer and leaning in, she studied him intensely, making him feel a little uncomfortable but he allowed her to look. His eyes were small and black and the tilak on his forehead wasn't particularly obtrusive or ugly – now that she looked closely, she noticed a large white scar, almost invisible, on the left side of his jaw. She guessed that had been a gift from Kadaj's gang.

Tapping her chin thoughtfully, Yuffie sighed. "You should try smiling more." She nodded at her observation and straightened up. "It's the frown lines that make you look old, Mr. Grumpy."

Tseng's frown deepened habitually, making him quickly cover his mouth with a hand, feeling self conscious at the girl's observations. Yuffie giggled a little at his reaction, forgetting all about why she had been angry. "You have such a way with words. I can't wait for you to be my wife."

The sarcastic comment halted her laughter and made her mood drop like a stone. "Wife...damn." She sat down heavily beside Tseng on the bench, leaving a noticeable gap between them. She huffed and leaned her elbows on her knees, head perched in her hands as she glanced sideways at her fiancé. "I think I've made my thoughts pretty clear. What's your take on things?"

Tseng sighed and leaned back against the bench, looking across the expanse of water before them, not really seeing it but feeling an odd sense of peace that was completely out of place in this situation. "It's doesn't matter what I think. I intend to accept this match because it's inevitable for me to wed soon – if you don't accept then I'm sure my parents will find another woman who might be willing. Although, I would like it to be you. Your family is the most valued in Wutai and, should we marry, they will bring the Yomohiro name out of the mud." The man closed his eyes, not wishing to see Yuffie's reaction to what he had to say. "I know my association with Shinra has caused pain to our people – more so when the war started and I didn't come back. I really thought I could change the world there – protect Wutai using my high status as a Turk – so I stayed." He let out a hollow laugh. "I didn't do a very good job, though. I helped change the world, but it was hardly for the better...If things happened differently, maybe I could have stopped Sephiroth from becoming the Demon of Wutai. I definitely could have saved Zackary if I'd acted fast enough, as well as prevented Strife from seeing what he has seen." Shaking his head, eyes still closed, Tseng didn't see the pained expression on Yuffie's face. "Hindsight is a wonderful thing...but I digress. If this is the only way to redeem myself for my sins, then I will accept." He opened his eyes with a gentle smile. "I'm glad that it's with someone that I know. In a way."

When he glanced over at Yuffie, her face was still between her hands, cheeks pushed by her palms to make her lips pout comically. Tseng almost laughed at the image – she was so...cute.

The girl seemed to struggle with herself for a few moments before she suddenly lifted herself out of her seat and planted her feet directly in front of Tseng. He looked up to see her features set into a determined expression. "Why are you telling me this?"

Tseng gaped slightly, not expecting that question – from the look on her face, he'd thought that she was about to yell at him for telling her a 'sob story' or something. Shaking himself mentally, Tseng cleared his throat. "We are supposed to get to know each other. If we are trying to determine whether we can deal with being a couple on a permanent basis, I thought that you should know my reasoning."

Her lips pressed together in a thin line.

Tseng could have sworn he could hear cogs turning.

A gentle breeze pushed against the silence, carrying cherry blossom petals and dandelion fluff through the warm air while the river before them gushed happily across rocks and mud.

Nothing shielded him from her calculating brown gaze.

After a solid ten minutes of silence and staring, Yuffie abruptly stuck her hand out, making Tseng jump out of his lulled state. He looked at the appendage in bemusement, wondering why he suddenly had it in his face. Raising an eyebrow, he lifted his gaze to meet his fiancé's once again.

She lifted her chin with a challenge. "Well?"

Tseng frowned, looking at her hand and back, vaguely noting that it was her left. "Well, what?"

Yuffie huffed and flipped her hair out of her eyes, shaking her hand a little to emphasise her frustration. "Well, if we're gonna get married, you'd better propose properly!"

...what? "You–" Tseng paused, vaguely wondering how long it would take him to stop being surprised by Yuffie's words and actions as he coughed. "You accept?"

Straight black brows drew together sternly. "Of course! Why else would I be asking you to propose, you old goat?"

He blinked. "Charming."

The young woman before him huffed yet again and pulled her hand back to plant it on her hip, tutting impatiently. "Look, I still think Shinra are shits for what they've done to us and the Planet – and I don't trust the President as far as I can throw him – but I can accept that not all of you are jerks. Look at Reno – he's not personally my cup of tea, but he loves Cloud and is trying to help him, so he can't be all bad." She rolled her eyes upwards. "My parents won't ever get off my case about this, so I might as well get it over with. As you said, it's better because we sort of know each other, plus it helps that we live near each other, so neither of us will have to change our lives massively in the way of moving house. My dad really wants peace now – his old age has killed the fight in him – so he'll be happy that this match will make it unlikely for Shinra to go against us again, seeing as you're the Director of the company. So, yeah..."

Yuffie snorted and thrust her hand out again, a determined look in her eyes. Tseng quickly shut his mouth, having dropped it open at her speech, and nodded, understanding her reasoning.

It was not love between them – it wasn't even like – but a mutual satisfaction of certain conditions. They may not make each other happy, but they probably wouldn't make each other miserable either.

Taking a deep breath, Tseng stood and took out a small box from his pocket. The box itself was simple – black velvet with gold hinges – but it opened to reveal a tastefully decorated heirloom of the Yomohiro family. The band of the ring was made of solid platinum, sparingly embedded with clear cut diamonds that were accented by the twining leaf and vine designs.

Yuffie's eyes widened with appreciation, absently thinking that this would have been quite a prize in her days of thievery. She licked her lips nervously, barring her mind against the voice that was screaming at her to run away. She had to do this either way right? At least he isn't ugly...

Taking the ring in hand, Tseng pocketed the box and pulled his shoulders back, assuming a formal pose. The ring hooked around the end of her second finger from the left. "Kisaragi Yuffie, I ask for your hand in marriage. Will you do me this honour?"

It felt like an ice cube slipped down into her stomach at the question.

"I accept."