What a Tangled Web, We Weave

Integra had a big bad vamp, big bad vamp, big bad vamp.

Integra had a big bad vamp with powers dark as night.

He followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day.

He followed her to school one day, the children all to fright.

Integra, she scolded him, scolded him scolded him.

Integra scolded him, the students aren't to bite.

AN: I owe a big thanks to ladykirie, who provided me with a large chunk of this chapter.

'Alison' entered the school building and immediately crumpled up the flier and tossed it into the nearest trash can; but no sooner had 'she' turned away from the trash can and started towards her first class than a voice behind her asked, "So, uh are you coming?"

Alison stopped and turned to see the boy, who she'd taken the flier from, standing right behind her. Obviously the dimwitted kid had followed her inside. "I don't think so." Alison replied as she turned and began to walk away.

Enrico ran around and blocked her path. "Why not?"

Alison stopped and stared at the boy for a minute. Who the hell does he think he is to block my path?! The vampire's hand formed into a fist, but then she remembered her master's rules. Through grit teeth, the vampire replied, "I'm busy... and Church functions aren't really my thing." The vampire stepped around the boy and continued on.

But Enrico just couldn't take a hint. He intercepted her again. "Well, that's probably just because you've been going to Protestant ones. Catholic ones are much more fun."

"Oh really?" Annoyed that the boy had once again blocked her path, Alison's hand went to her hip. "And what makes Catholic ones more fun?" She asked disbelievingly.

"I... Um...." Enrico stopped as his mind desperately searched for something to back up his previous statement. "We... We have punch." Enrico said with a smile.

"Punch, huh? Yeah... sounds 'wild'." Alison replied sarcastically and walked around the boy for a third time. And for a third time he circled around and got in front of her.

This little twerp just won't leave me alone. I should drain him dry and leave his body twitching on the floor. Oh, Master, why did you have to tie my hands? 'No, ABSOLUTELY no 'feeding' on people!' 'No picking fights.' 'No harassing the clergy'. Awfully considerate of you. And what am I suppose to do if one of them is harassing me?! Alison sighed. "Why are you so concerned with whether or not I go anyway?"

"It'd just be such a shame for someone as pretty as you to end up in Hell." The boy replied with a sly grin.

A brief look of surprise washed over Alison's face. So that was it. The little twerp was attracted to 'her'. Like she really needed to deal with a crushing, Catholic Altar Boy. Someone training for catholic priesthood developing a crush on a vampire? Actually, it was kind of funny once she stopped and thought about it. Were the circumstances different, the vampire would've shifted back into 'her' seven foot tall, male vampire form and growled at the little twerp. Alison let out a little laugh as 'she' pictured that. He'd probably have a heart attack. But unfortunately, Integra had also seen fit to put in a 'no shape-shifting in public' rule. In fact, the vampire couldn't even flash 'her' fangs. Let's see. I've got an annoying, Catholic acolyte in my way and I can't drain his blood, hurt him... or even scare him off. How the hell am I suppose to handle this?!

Almost as if in answer to the vampire's unspoken question, the class bell went off. Alison's lip curled slightly. Saved by the bell. "Oops, class is starting. I've got to get going." Enrico's face dropped with disappointment, but other than that he failed to move. "You wouldn't want to make me late for class, would you?"

"No. Of course not." Enrico replied as he stepped aside and bowed deeply. Alison sighed and continued on to her class.

Never before had the vampire been so glad to get to her advanced math class. She was the last one in, and Professor Mortease raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. But he said nothing. Miss Alison Vlad was one of his best students, and it was the first time she'd been late. So Mortease figured he could cut her a little slack.

Alison took her seat and looked over, almost sadly, at the vacant one next to her. Integra had been transferred back into the regular math class only a week after being pushed into the advanced one. The young knight just couldn't keep up with the other students. Integra was an unusually gifted woman, but it seemed that math wasn't one of her many strengths. Alison had wanted to transfer back into the regular class too.

It wasn't that the vampire couldn't keep up. Once someone explained the basic concepts to her, she'd discovered that she actually had quite a knack for math, but she was only in school to stay close to her master and had little interest in attending a class without the young knight. However, Integra insisted Alison stay in the advanced class. It was how the Mini-Hellsing chose to punish the vampire for getting them thrown into it to start with.

Still the class wasn't all bad. The vampire had always enjoyed beating other people; and although scoring higher than the rest of the class on a test wasn't as big a thrill as tearing someone's limbs off in a fight, it was still a victory. Alison had even wondered a few times if it was actually a better reflection of her superiority, for she was competing on a level playing field. Well, she could cheat if she wanted to... but the victories was so much sweeter without resorting to mind reading.

Alison sat through her class patiently and listened intently to the professor's lecture on the Lorentz transformation. If she knew Professor Mortease, and she did, there would be a test on it within the next couple of days. In fact, Alison was so engrossed in her studying that she'd almost forgotten about the annoying, Catholic acolyte... that was until her first class was over, and she found him waiting outside the door.

Alison's eyes went wide. "Have... have you been out here the whole time?"

"No. I went back to help Father Anderson distribute more fliers. I only just got back."

"How'd you know when my class would be over?"

"I asked." Enrico replied with a shrug. "So, have you given any more thought to the revival meeting tonight?"

Alison sighed and began to head towards a nearby door. "Don't you have other people to harass?"

"None as pretty as you." The boy grinned.

"Aren't you a cheeky one? I thought priests weren't allowed to flirt."

"Well... I'm only an acolyte. Guess that's one of the lessons I haven't learned yet." The boy replied, trying to sound 'smooth'.

"Look, Kid, I really have no interest in you."

"All the more reason you should come to the meeting."

Alison stopped and turned. "Huh?"

"I grow on people."

"Like a fungus?"

"Haha. Good one." The boy replied as Alison reached the door she was headed towards and pulled it open. He started to follow her in. "So, are you..."

The boy was cut off as Alison quickly turned on him. "What do you think you're doing?" The vampire managed to ask with just enough offense in her tone to cause the boy to pause.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Alison pointed to the sign on the door and replied, "Lady's room."

Enrico's face flushed a little. "Oh, sorry. I'll... just wait out here."

Alison could just bet he would too. She turned and let the door slam behind her then went into the far stall and slammed that door too. Then she drove her fist through the building's concrete wall. Needless to say, the vampire was not too happy. She was being stalked! That wasn't suppose to happen. Vampires were suppose to stalk humans... not the other way around. She was suppose to be hunter, not prey; and the role reversal annoyed her to no end. Alison let out a frustrated sigh. Then she sunk through the floor. At least she could give that annoying Catholic the slip and leave him waiting outside the bathroom door.

Feeling as curious as her 'pet' had, Integra took one of the fliers offered by the nun and started to read it. "Hmmm, 'Revival tonight at 9, come for the pre-party punch, stay and get to know God.' Catchy, give them credit for marketing..." The young knight spoke to herself.

"Actually, if you want to go, I'd be glad to accompany you, mon fleur..." A voice spoke up, and the Mini-Hellsing turned to see her Frenchman, his book bag slung low across his shoulder and a brilliant grin on his face.

Now Miss Hellsing had nothing against a religious organization, even a Catholic one, coming in and attempting to stir up some spirit with the student body, but she'd hardly pegged Pip for the Catholic revival type. "I didn't think that a Church party would be your cup of tea." Integra stated.

"Why not? Technically, my family's very Catholic so I've been to these sort of things before, and didn't we say that we would go out tonight anyways?"

Hmm, perhaps the idea wouldn't be so bad. Such a wholesome situation would be sure to turn off my 'pet' vampire, and then I could finally enjoy a date in peace for a change. Pip maneuvered a hand around Integra's shoulder.

"Did I say that you could take such liberties with my person?," The young knight half-teased.

The teenage Frenchman pouted. "Liberte, Egalite, and Fraternity- I'm being very good."

Integra could not help but smile. True he was a bit of a rouge, but a decent one at least. As the pair moved down the crowded corridor, filled with bustling bodies and slamming lockers, Pip shot his free hand up in a greeting to a pretty, red-haired girl.

"Have a good weekend. I'll call you when I get back!" he cried. The girl returned the gesture and continued packing her books.

"So, I see that you're not afraid to show me off to your other girlfriends. I'm flattered."

"She's not a girlfriend anymore."

"I see. So, you're eliminating the competition for me? How thoughtful." Integra teased.

Pip looked slightly hurt. "No. Seriously, we broke up. I don't have the type of feelings for her that I have for...other people."

"Oh?" Integra felt his grip tighten over her shoulder and fingers pressed in oh so slightly.

"I mean, we work better as friends, just friends. She took it kind of hard, but then we realized that we both really do like each other. So why not keep the friendship? It would be stupid to throw that away." He looked at her for a beat,"You're okay with that, yes?"

"You're honest. I like that; and yes, that's fine with me. She seems like a very nice girl." The young knight replied.

"She is. So are you...very nice." The Frenchman whispered.

Heat started to rise off Integra's cheeks. While Pip had said nothing too romantic, nor out of bounds, she felt a stirring up in the pit of her stomach, baby butterflies beginning to bloom. The Frenchman brushed a piece of hair from off Integra's temple and guided her over to an alcove near the water-fountain. While the Mini-Hellsing was neither terribly 'romantic' or sentimental, the sweet, sincere look that radiated off Pip's face and projected through his green eyes was enough to make the entire crowded hallway fade away, leaving only the two of them.

"Integra, I'm getting to know you, and I can say that I haven't felt like this before. You're strong, smart, genuine... and I admire that." He whispered.

She smiled. "Thank you."

"I want to take this slowly, but would you like to start seeing more of each other, maybe something a bit more...," he fished around for the word. "Exclusive?" Integra's brows arched. She had barely been in the company of boys, only having been to one formal in her whole, young, life; and she had an enormous yolk around her neck, a yolk of duty to God and Country. Yet, here was one of the more charming and witty boys asking her to ...what, 'go steady'? Her head was swimming.

"You do realize that I have a very, heavy course-load with school."

"Oui-as do I ."

"And I have training both military and political to attend to at home..."

"I have to get back to Uncle Paul and learn tactics over the summer myself ."

Integra leaned in close to Pip's ear. "And you do, absolutely, realize that I'm not going to be sleeping with you just because... especially because you're cute." A hurt-puppy look plastered across Pip's face.

"Oh, so mean...." he whined. Integra crossed her arms sternly, but then the Frenchman's smile lit up. "Only joking. I told you before how I feel about all that, whatever you feel comfortable with, mon fleur."

"Then yes, let's see how this goes."

"Can we kiss on it?" The Mini-Hellsing's eyebrow shot up disapprovingly.

"On the cheek?" Pip corrected. Integra nodded and leaned in for a soft, light brush of lips against her temple. Her arms began to wrap around his waist and she was about to return the gesture when a cold, probing sensation tickled her mind.

Right now, he's having a naughty, little fantasy about you two going off into the broom closet and doing all sorts of naughtiness. Let me kick him, please? Integra froze and turned right into the glinting eyes of her pet vampire.

"Oh, Alision-hi...," The Mini-Hellsing said through grit teeth.

The 'girl' gushed and looked adorable, pushing her fringe of bangs off her forehead and beaming. "I was just on my way to class and spotted you two- how are you, Bernadette?"

"Great! Tegra just agreed to be my steady squeeze- isn't that great?!" He punctuated the announcement with a firm squeeze of his own, making Integra squeak.

Alison's brow knitted. Great, just great, you had to go slumming and now you're stuck with this perverted, arrogant, French Frog. I cannot believe you master, or should I say 'Tegra'!

Hush-mind your manners! He's a good boy and I, personally, like him- he doesn't drive me up a wall or cause trouble, unlike other people I know... The vampire looked genuinely hurt. No sooner had the the thought left Integra's mind than the young knight wished that she could take it back.

"I'm a third wheel right now? I guess that means I should leave." The vampire replied, a hurt expression washing over her mouth and eyes.

Integra attempted to speak, but her boyfriend opened up his stupid, well- meaning mouth. "Hey, tonight, we're going to the Catholic pre-party. I don't know if you had plans with Steve, or class work, but we'd love to see you there, grab some punch. Maybe they'll even have a band like last year. What do you think, honey?"

"Um, that sounds great, just great..." Integra's voice trailed off. Oh Lord, a vampire with a penchant for human blood at a literal virgin convention. It would be insane, it could be potentially deadly it... But what else could the young knight say? Telling her roommate that 'she' couldn't go to a Catholic 'pre-party', while standing in the middle of a crowed hallway, would've drawn unwanted attention and raised people's suspicions.

(Well, hope you liked the chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought. Thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)