The Truth Amongst Lies (Part 14)
Thirteen immediately pulled Cameron into a tight hug, shocked that her girlfriend had resorted to this again. It wasn't like she hadn't known about Cameron's past struggle with cutting, she had seen the scars and the blond had told her about it when they had first started dating but the whole time they had been together she had never seen her a fresh cut. Tenderly she took her girlfriend's arm and ran her finger along the perfect red line, holding on tightly when the blond winced and tried to pull away
Cameron hated having her problems on show for anyone to see, especially those close to her, she could feel them judging her, the way her parents and friends had judged her last time.
"Why Ally?" Thirteen asked, trying to understand what was going through her girlfriend's head when she had resorted to cutting again.
"It helps OK? I just, I needed to clear my head, to forget, to feel alive" Cameron whispered, trying to justify herself.
"How can trying to kill yourself, make you feel alive?" Thirteen asked, incredulously, desperate to know the answers.
"I wasn't trying to kill myself!" Cameron said, suddenly angry at her girlfriend's lack of understanding. Getting up to leave, her thoughts immediately went to the scalpel in her lab coat which was lying on the floor nearby.
Thirteen had sensed Cameron's desperation to leave and knew exactly what she had in mind the moment she was alone. Quickly standing, the brunette had he door blocked, determined not to leave her girlfriend again.
"No, I won't let you do this to yourself!" Thirteen said, trying to sound calm and stop the quiver in her voice.
"I need it, you don't understand." Cameron pleaded, trying to pull the door open to no avail. Realizing it was useless, Cameron stopped, knowing she couldn't leave but suddenly full of courage, she turned and bend down grabbing her lab coat and taking it to the corner of her office.
Thirteen sighed with relief, thinking her girlfriend had given in and was willing to let her help. Taking a step towards where Cameron was crouched in the corner, she was stopped in her tracks when she saw the blond remove a scalpel from her lab coat.
Cameron was quick, taking the scalpel she drew it carefully across her wrist. Sighing, Cameron leant back and closed her eyes, only just registering the sound of a gasp emitted by her girlfriend.
Thirteen was shocked, her legs collapsed beneath her and she fell to the ground, landing hard on her knees. She didn't noticed the pain in her knees, as she stared blankly at the woman who had been her rock through all the tough times. Building up the courage, she looked down at the other woman's wrist and saw the blood was trickling sideways around her wrist, creating a perfect red bracelet, before dripping down onto her pristine white lab coat.
Cameron sat there with her eyes closed, not thinking about what she had just done in the presence of the love of her life. Her mind was blank, the same feeling she had felt at 14 washing over her. She sat there for over a minute, simply breathing in and out with no pain, emotional or physical. Opening her eyes, she looked down at her wrist, knowing in a couple of hours she would regret it but for now, nothing could break her euphoria.
Thirteen hadn't moved, she took in sharp breaths unable to get enough oxygen into her lungs. Crawling towards her girlfriend she took the older woman in her arms and held her tight, being strong for her.
Cameron had expected to be judged by the brunette, or at least for her to run out on her as all her friends had back in ninth grade. When she felt the smaller doctor pull her towards her and hold onto her tightly, she realized she had finally found true love, someone who wouldn't always rely on her and wouldn't run out on her. Turning to face Thirteen, she took her girlfriend's face in her clean hand and leaned in brushing her lips against those seeking answers.
"I love you," Cameron whispered, barely audible, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, "Thank you."
"I love you too," Thirteen whispered back, just as quietly, knowing this was right. She had never admitted to anyone that she loved them, for fear of getting hurt but in that moment she knew that this woman would never hurt her. She knew this was was her all, her everything, her life.
Izzy's heart monitor suddenly went berserk, nurses surrounded her in a flash. Her heart was failing as she slept and as a doctor entered the room, he knew he would have to fight hard to bring her back. He knew how hard it was to bring someone back from the brink of death when they were fighting to walk towards the light.