I couldn't sleep that night. James' hurt expression kept watching me in my mind's eye. That wasn't the only James haunting me. I kept remembering the defeated slump in his shoulders after Moody had left. James wasn't used to screwing up big time. We were out of school, this was no longer a game of who could hex who better. James took this mission really seriously. He knew the stakes, the many lives of these innocent muggles. He wanted to prove himself, but more importantly, he cared.

I opened my eyes and stared at the real James, his face relaxed in repose in the faint light falling through our window from the street. He twitched and a frown chased across his brow. I knew there was also our relationship weighing on him. I hadn't acted as vested as he did. He was there for me, always fighting in my corner, single-mindedly loyal. I was there for him too, but had I shown him? Did he understand how deep I was in?

I wasn't sure when, but in the last few days my feelings had shifted without me even realizing it. Maybe it had happened even sooner and I had refused to notice. I no longer wanted to hold back, I was as crazy as James—ready to commit the rest of my life to him although we'd barely begun our lives as adults. I inched closer to James and cuddled against his side. He turned towards me in his sleep, his far arm moving to rest across my hip. I'd find a way to tell him. I finally fell asleep with a smile on my lips thinking of our future, belonging with James always.

James was still asleep when I left for work the next morning and I didn't have the heart to wake him for more than just a brief good-bye kiss. When I got into our lab, I found a note from Angela. Marcus had left a message he would be late. Frowning, I started setting up my work. Marcus was really dedicated to his job and I was curious and a bit worried about what was keeping him from work.

Marcus still wasn't in at lunch. I ate my lunch with Bridget and Angela. Angela pulled out her knitting once she had finished eating. "Did Marcus say when he would be in today?" I asked her.

Angela shook her head. "No, I didn't talk to him. I just found his note on my desk."

"How do you stand working with him?" Bridget grinned at me. "Without drooling and messing up your potions?"

I shrugged. "I have a boyfriend, you know."

"But you still have eyes, right? I mean, Marcus is so hot I can barely talk to him without making an eejit of myself." Bridget shook her head. "He's young and a potions assistant to Derek which means his IQ is in the stratosphere. Tell me he's an arsehole and full of himself. There's got to be something wrong with him to balance the rest."

I laughed as I shook my head. "Sorry, he comes across as a good bloke."

She sighed. "I don't know how you resist. That boyfriend of yours must be special."

"He is," I smiled.

Midafternoon Marcus finally came into our lab. "Hi," he greeted me as he quickly pulled on his lab coat. "Sorry I'm so late. Family business."

"Everything okay?" I asked. Marcus looked drawn and he wasn't meeting my eyes.

"It will be," he said, a little grimly. He tried to give me a reassuring smile and then turned to his work, signaling the conversation was over.

I tried to concentrate on my own work but it was difficult. I could feel tension radiating from Marcus. When I heard a beaker crash to the table and Marcus hiss a swear word between his teeth, I finally confronted him. "Let's take a break."

Marcus looked at me almost sheepishly. "Okay," he said, flicking his wand to clean up the spilled liquid and broken beaker.

We walked to the deserted break room without speaking. Marcus ran his fingers through his perfect hair and sighed once we sat at a table. I flicked my wand to pour hot water for tea from the ever present pot of hot water. "What's wrong?" I asked gently as I floated some biscuits to land in front of Marcus on the table and busied my hands dropping a tea bag in his cup.

"Family issues," Marcus said before taking a bite of a biscuit.

I waited. Marcus looked at me and smiled, but his smile didn't meet his eyes. "My sister can't come here yet. I've been looking forward to her visiting me. But now she can't make it."

"That's too bad," I said. "Are you close to her?"

"Very," he played with the string of his tea bag. "My parents died last year. My sister's fifteen, and I'm her guardian now. We've become even closer now that we just have each other."

"I'm so sorry about your parents," I put my hand on Marcus' hand that was lying on the table. He turned his palm over to grasp mine for a minute and then pulled away.

"It's just so different when you have to be the responsible one," he mused. "I used to be so reckless and carefree. Now that she depends on me, I've had to grow up fast." He looked at me, his eyes soft. "She's a great kid. I'd do anything for her."

"She is lucky to have you," I said quietly.

Marcus flinched slightly. "I don't know," he said. "I don't think I've been the greatest brother."

"But you're doing your best," I said reassuringly.

Marcus gave me a searching look that I didn't understand. "Yes, I'm doing my best." He changed the subject to the work I'd done this morning and we chatted more easily. Later, as we were walking back to our lab, Marcus smiled reassuringly at me. "Don't worry about me. I'll take care of this."

I grinned back. "Okay."

It was drizzling as I stepped out on the sidewalk in front of the potions lab building the next day after work. I reached up to pull my hood over my head and jumped when a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders. "Lily!" James looked frantic. His hands ran over my body and his eyes were searching. "You're not hurt, are you? What happened? Where were you? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"James," I stuttered in confusion. "I'm fine. What are you talking about?"

He frowned down at me. His look of relief was followed by a narrowing of his eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was thoroughly pissed. At me.

"Why didn't you come?" His voice was one I wasn't used to hearing spoken to me. It was low and void of emotion, too tightly controlled. "Is your work too important for you to leave for our mission?"

I shook my head confused. "Come where?"

"To meet Boris," James' face was fierce. I almost drew back at his expression, a cold feeling settling in my stomach.

"I was supposed to meet Boris?" I shook my head again. "What are you talking about? When?"

"We sent you a message," James said but his voice now held a note of uncertainty.

"I didn't get any message from you," I wiped the rain from my face to see him better. His angry look had been replaced by a confused expression.

"Sirius sent Hamlish over an hour ago." James ran his hand through his hair. "Hamlish came back without the message which means he'd delivered it."

"I didn't get it." I peered up at him. The gentle rain dripped down his spectacles making it harder to read his expression now that his face had softened. James was right, Sirius' owl Hamlish would never have returned home without completing his task.

"It must have been intercepted," James bit out looking over my shoulder grimly. His gaze came back to me, now considerably gentler. "Sorry, Lily. I should have known you'd never have blown us off."

"Of course I wouldn't," I reached up to smooth his damp hair. "So what happened? How did you set up a meeting with Boris?"

"Let's go home and talk," James slid an arm around my shoulders. "It didn't end well." He pulled me around the corner so we could apparate, ignoring my questions. Once back on our rooftop, we hurried down to our flat.

Sirius was pacing the living room as we entered the flat. Beth sat on the couch watching him with a troubled expression. "Where the fuck were you?" Sirius exploded when he saw me. "Why didn't you—"

"She didn't get our message," James interrupted him. He helped me take off my wet jacket. "Was Marcus there all day?"

"Yes," I whisked my wand to hang my jacket up outside of the closet so it could dry. "He worked with Derek this afternoon but he never left the building."

Sirius' brow knit. "So neither of you saw our message?"

I shook my head. "What was the message? James said you met with Boris?" My head whipped between Sirius and James.

"We thought we were meeting Boris," James said wearily. "It was a set-up. Tucker, Avery and a couple of their mates were there."

My breath caught. I grabbed James' arm and tried to look him over for injuries. "Are you okay? You weren't hurt, were you?"

"Nothing to speak of," James waved away my concern. I'd have to check him over later. I knew James wouldn't take any wounds of his seriously unless there was blood spurting.

"What happened?" I held my breath. Sirius and James exchanged a guarded look.

"We got a message earlier this afternoon," James said tiredly. "It said it was from Boris. He said he'd heard from others in his building that we'd been asking questions a few nights ago and he knew we were looking for him."

"His note said he was in the building with the bakery 'Croissant My Heart and Die', the one by Charing Cross," Sirius interjected. "And that he was able to vet us and knew we were safe to contact. He asked us to meet him so we could bring him in. He wanted us to meet him right away—said he was nervous Voldemort was getting closer to finding him."

"We sent Hamlish with a message to you and Marcus at the lab," James continued. "Hamlish returned and we went to meet Boris. Only you weren't there."

"We still had a few minutes," Sirius said. "We had asked you and Marcus to meet us before our meeting time with Boris. So we apparated to right outside your lab building."

"But we couldn't get in," James said grimly. "You were right when you said your sodding lab is as secure as Azkaban. At least you don't have dementors as guards. We tried everything, but the security is top notch. Only witches and wizards who have clearance to work there can get through."

"So you had to leave to get to your meeting with Boris," I said.

"Yeah," James sighed. "We were back just in time for the meeting. The meeting that was really set up by Tucker."

"They attacked us. Four of them to two of us," Sirius said flatly. "Fucking rotters thought they'd be able to grab us and find out what we knew about Boris."

My breath caught. I didn't want to think of what they would have done if they'd got a hold of James and Sirius. "How did you beat them?"

"We didn't," James snapped. His face was fierce but I knew he was angry at himself. "There was a messy battle. We barely got away."

"We're afraid Boris is there," Sirius added. "And we may have scared him off."

I released my breath. "Does Moody know?" I asked tentatively.

"We don't know," Sirius growled. He paced a few more steps. "He's going to be pissed you and Marcus weren't with us and we might have made Boris move."

"If he did live there, he should move," James pointed out. "Tucker obviously knows we were searching for Boris there."

"Was your message to me addressed to Marcus also?" I asked.

Sirius nodded. "Hamlish could have brought it to him."

"Marcus would have told me," I protested.

"Let's get Marcus," James scrawled a note on a piece of parchment and headed up to the owlery.

We didn't know what to do while waiting for Marcus. None of us had an appetite. Less than fifteen minutes later, he arrived. Sirius opened the door at his knock and Marcus entered, his eyes moving between us quickly. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"James and Sirius sent a message to us at the lab today," I said levelly. "I never saw it. Did you get it?"

"Did it come by owl?" Marcus asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "My owl brought it."

"An owl I didn't recognize brought me a message in the afternoon," Marcus twisted his hands. "I took it and opened it but Derek asked me to pour some acetic acid to add to our mixture and I set the parchment down for a minute. The acid caused a reaction to the chemicals in the beaker. The chemicals in it were volatile and it bubbled over and splashed on the parchment. I had to clean the spilled liquid up carefully. The parchment was unreadable." He looked between James and Sirius. "What was the message?"

"We needed you and Lily to meet us," James said flatly. "We thought Boris sent us a message, but it was a trap. We ended up fighting Tucker and some of his mates."

Marcus paled. "I'm sorry. I didn't know who the owl belonged to. He'd already left by the time the note was destroyed."

"Moody is going to kill us," Sirius told James.

"I'll tell him it was my fault we didn't get your message," Marcus said guiltily. "I assumed it was a message from my aunt. I messaged her back but haven't heard back from her yet."

"That's not the worst of it," James said moodily. "If we scared off Boris, we're stuck. We'll have no way to find him if he moved."

We looked at each other soberly. Marcus glanced at his watch. "I have to go home," he said his eyes pained. "I'm expecting to hear from my sister. I'm sorry about this."

I smiled at him. "Don't worry. It'll work out."

Beth slipped her hand into Sirius' after Marcus had left. "You guys have been doing a great job," she told us. "I know you'll find Boris."

"No use brooding about it," James shrugged. "Maybe Boris wasn't spooked and Moody won't even find out."

I found out soon enough even James' optimistic outcome was not to be. We systematically worked through the flats in the building that housed one of the 'Croissants and More' bakeries over the weekend. It was a beautiful summer weekend and it was difficult to catch people in their flats. But by the end of the weekend, we decided Boris was not living there. James and Sirius had discovered another bakery with croissant in the name, "Croissants Worth the Calories" and they made plans to canvass it on Monday while Marcus and I were at work.

Monday afternoon at work, Marcus and I received a message from Moody. He wanted to meet with us immediately after work. My stomach dropped when I saw Moody's bold scrawl on the parchment. As optimistic as I tried to be, even I doubted this could be anything but bad news for our team.

"Rats," I showed the missive to Marcus. "I'm afraid this might be it for our team."

Marcus frowned as he read it. "Don't worry, Lily," he finally said. "He might just have some news for us about Boris."

Marcus and I arrived at the meeting place, an office building currently under renovation. We were uncharacteristically quiet as we ducked under ladders and stepped over equipment in the dusty space. Marcus gave me a bracing smile as he opened the door to the office Moody had directed us to.

Moody was sitting alone. The room had just had new carpet installed, but tufts from the edging had not yet been vacuumed and it smelled of fresh paint. Moody nodded to us and then started speaking. "I've made some—"

"Where are James and Sirius?" I interrupted. "Shouldn't we wait for them?"

"They are not in this meeting," Moody stared at me. "I'm changing the assignees to this mission."

I gaped at him. Even though it was not unexpected, the finality in which he announced it left me flabbergasted. "What? Surely you can't do that!"

"I can and I have," Moody said flatly. "They had orders and they ignored them. I'll give them another mission soon. Something easier that they can't ruin."

"That's not fair," I cried. "They haven't ruined this."

"Not for lack of trying," Moody said. "I'm telling you Evans, they've screwed up too many times. This is a delicate mission and I'm taking them off."

"Then why aren't they here? Why did you only call in me and Marcus if you're taking us off this mission?" I looked between Moody and Marcus not understanding. Only Moody met my eyes.

"I need the two of you to stay on this," Moody said. "You've been closing in on Boris. The longer he stays out there without protection, the higher the chance Voldemort will find him."

My mouth dropped open as shock swept through me. This felt worse than the entire team being removed. "James and Sirius have invested way more time and energy on this than Marcus and me." My hand swept through the air impotently. "They've worked on it every day while we've been in the lab."

"Yeah, but you and Marcus did not screw up," Moody returned.

"It wasn't their fault," I protested. "They tried to message Marcus and me."

"I'm the one who messed up by destroying their message," Marcus added.

"They were ordered not to work on this without you," Moody spat. "They shouldn't have gone at all."

"But then they might have missed Boris," I cried.

"If Boris had wanted to come in, he would have tried again if they couldn't meet him within the hour." Moody stood up and paced away from me. "They knew Tucker and Avery had found out who was working on this mission. They weren't using their brains not seeing through such a stupid trap."

"This isn't right! I can't tell James that this mission—one he's spent hours obsessing over and working on—has been jerked away from him yet I'm still on it!" I hated that my voice was shrill. Moody wouldn't let emotions be a part of decisions.

"Then lie to him," Moody snarled, his very finite amount of patience seemingly gone. "If your pansy of a boyfriend can't hear the truth, tell him the whole team is done and I'm putting someone else on it. I don't give a shit what you say, but I need you on this."

"I hate to lie." My eyes were wet but I stared at Moody. Beside me, Marcus shifted uncomfortably. "I can't lie to James."

Moody leaned in closer to me using his strong will to intimidate. "Evans, you know the big picture is more important than this personnel change. There are lives at stake here."

"Yes," I admitted, my shoulders slumping.

"Then you know what you have to do," he said, his gravelly voice suddenly almost sympathetic. "Get it done."

I bowed my head unable to look at Moody and see the pity in his gaze. "I know what I have to do," I said, my voice void of emotion.

When I got to our flat, I found James and Sirius drinking butterbeers in the living room. James took one look at my face and jumped to his feet. "What happened?" He took my hand and drew me to him.

"Marcus and I met with Moody." I burrowed in his arms. James held me until I pulled away and sat on the couch. He dropped next to me and waited.

Sirius was less patient. "Did Moody kick us off our mission to find Boris?"

I nodded my eyes down.

"Fuck," Sirius summed up his feelings succinctly.

"My sentiments exactly," James agreed bitterly.